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12/14 WWE Velocity review: Nyman's "alt perspective" report

Dec 16, 2002 - 10:11:00 PM
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WWE Velocity review
December 14, 2002
Shown on TNN
Report by Pete Nyman, Torch Team Contributor


Announcers: Josh Mathews and Ernest "The Cat" Miller.

(1) Matt Hardy beat Shawn Evans. Matt Hardy's favorite band is Pearl Jam. Mine is Green Day. Matt was also always on the honor roll. I haven't been on the honor roll since 6th grade. Oh well, anyway Matt Hardy and Shawn Evans lockup, and Matt Hardy delivers an armdrag. Matt Hardy and Shawn Evans lockup again, and Matt Hardy puts on a headlock. Shawn Evans hits a Russian Legsweep and pins Matt Hardy for the 2 count. Matt Hardy elbows Shawn Evans in the corner. Matt Hardy puts a chinlock on Shawn Evans between the ropes. Matt Hardy then chokes Shawn Evans with the ropes. Matt Hardy delivers an elbow and a legdrop and then an elbowdrop and pins Shawn Evans for the 2 count. Shawn Evans then hits some elbows and a top rope crossbody. Shawn Evans pins Matt Hardy for the 2 count. Shawn Evans then hits a Shockwave DDT and pins Matt Hardy for the 2 count. Matt Hardy gets back up, dusts himself off, and then hits the Side Effect, Top Rope Legdrop, and then the Twist of Fate and pins Shawn Evans for the 3 count.

[commercial break]

Highlights are shown of the previous episode of Tough Enough 3.

(2) Chuck Palumbo beat Johnny Slaughter. Lockup to start. Lockup again. Chuck Palumbo hits an elbow and a suplex. Chuck Palumbo then pins Johnny Slaughter for the 2 count. Chuck Palumbo then hits a clothesline and a couple of shoulders to his gut. Johnny Slaughter hits a dropkick to Chuck Palumbo's knee, and then another one, and then a chop block. Johnny Slaughter then pins Chuck Palumbo for the 2 count. Chuck Palumbo hits a side belly-to-belly suplex and pins Johnny Slaughter for the 2 count. Chuck Palumbo then delivers a discus punch and a backbody drop. Chuck Palumbo then hits a powerbomb, a Chuck Deluxe, and then the Jungle Kick and pins Johnny Slaughter for the 3 count.

[commercial break]

WWE Lugz Boot of the Week: Kurt Angle pinning Edge to become the #1 Contender to the WWE World title.

Highlights are shown from Smackdown of Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar talking, then Stephanie McMahon lifting Brock Lesnar's suspension, and then highlights are shown from Edge & Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show & A-Train.

[commercial break]

(3) Funaki beat C.G. Afi. C.G. Afi is Tony Mamaluke from ECW. Lockup. C.G. Afi puts on a headlock. Funaki then hits a hiptoss, an armdrag, a drop toe hold, and a legdrop to the back of Tonerr I mean C.G. Afi's head. C.G. Afi hits a dropkick and then a Russian Legsweep. C.G. Afi then delivers a shinbreaker, a dragon screw, and some weird leg submission. C.G. Afi then sits on Funaki but Funaki hits an Enzuigiri and a Bulldog. Funaki continues the punishment with a dropkick to the face and a sitout inverted powerbomb. Funaki pins C.G. Afi for the 2 count. Funaki then hits a jawbreaker and then flips C.G. Afi off the top rope and pins him for the 3 count.

[commercial break]

A video is shown highlighting the feud between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie.

[commercial break]

WWE Rewind: The Guerreros winning on Smackdown against Billy Kidman & Chris Benoit.

(4) Billy Kidman beat Chavo Guerrero by disqualification to retain the WWE Cruiserweight title. Lockup. Lockup again. Waistlocks from both men. Chavo Guerrero gets an armdrag and pins Billy Kidman for the 1 count. Billy Kidman puts on a hammerlock and Chavo Guerrero hits a snapmare. Billy Kidman hits a hiptoss, an armdrag, and then a headscissors. Chavo Guerrero then dropkicks Billy Kidman in the head and pins him for a 2 count. Chavo Guerrero then delivers a knee to the gut and a back suplex and pins Billy Kidman for another 2 count. Chavo Guerrero then hits a bodyslam and yells out something in Spanish. The Cat says he can't speak Spanish and Josh Mathews says he can't speak English, either. Ha, that's pretty funny. Chavo Guerrero and Billy Kidman then use everyone's favorite overused spot on Velocity, with Chavo Guerrero applying the headlock and then the elbow out by Billy Kidman. Chavo Guerrero delivers a knee to the gut and pins Billy Kidman for the 2 count. Chavo Guerrero hits a knife edged chop and Billy Kidman hits an elbow. Billy Kidman then delivers a backbody drop and a clothesline and pins Chavo Guerrero for the 2 count. Chavo Guerrero delivers a powerbomb and pins Billy Kidman for the 2 count. Billy Kidman gets a rollup and pins Chavo Guerrero for the 2 count. Billy Kidman hits an Enzuigiri and attempts a Shooting Star Press, but Eddie Guerrero runs out and pushes Billy Kidman off the top rope. Chavo Guerrero pins Billy Kidman for the 2 count. Billy Kidman hits the Skyhigh and then Eddie Guerrero interferes and attacks Billy Kidman, and there's the disqualification. Chavo Guerrero and Eddie Guerrero beat down Billy Kidman, until Chris Benoit comes out and makes the save.

[end show]

Notes: A good edition of Velocity. The first two matches weren't too good, but the last to were good. Tony Mamaluke should be hired by WWE as Johnny Stamboli's manager or something. It was nice seeing Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit on Velocity too. Oh yeah, as for the commentary, not too bad. It's better seeing The Cat making fun of the commentator than Michael Cole. I like The Cat's mic ability more in the ring, though. As for Josh Mathews, he seemed to know more about wrestling than Marc Loyd, and his voice sounds like Dave Meltzer's. Oh yeah, and WWE should add a rematch of Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman to Armaggedon or Sunday Night Heat. That's it, see you next week. Send me feedback at Flexholly@aol.com.


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