TV REPORTS 6/8 WWE Smackdown: Parks's Review of the Show
Jun 9, 2007 - 1:22:00 AM
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WWE Smackdown review
June 8, 2007
Taped 6/5/07 in Orlando, Florida
Aired on The CW
Report by Greg Parks, Torch Team Contributor
-Michael Cole and J.B.L. welcome us to the home of WrestleMania 24 as Edge comes down the aisle for the first segment. Oh, it’s the Cutting Edge. He says his guest this week is bigger than last week’s, Batista. In fact, this guest requested to be on the Cutting Edge. And it’s Mr. McMahon. Edge does some Grade A sucking up, then asks how Vince is feeling. McMahon quotes (kinda) the bible in a funny voice. Edge hypes the draft for this Monday, and then sucks up some more. He says Vince is a world champion in the squared circle of life. Edge makes the mistake of placing his belt on Vince’s lap, while Vince makes faces. Vince says Edge is no better than Cena or Lashley, then says Edge vs. Batista at Vengeance. The chairman quotes himself, with the “life sucks and then you die” line. He continues to ramble on for a few minutes then leaves the ring. I can’t wait to hear what’s behind Vince’s strange behavior.
-Up next, Boogeyman takes on Mark Henry.
-We get a video package on Hornswaggle and Finlay for some reason.
1- BOOGEYMAN VS. MARK HENRY
Boogey tries to use his quickness to start alleges Cole, but Henry hammers him down. Bearhug is applied by Henry. Henry breaks the hold and kicks Little Boogey on the apron. World’s Strongest Slam ensues, with a pin.
WINNER: Henry at 1:26.
After the match, Henry grabs Little Boogey in a bearhug then slams him down. After a pause, he splashes Little Boogey.
-Cole throws it to Vickie Guerrero, with an announcement for the main event. Teddy is looking over her shoulder as she makes the matches. First is Edge vs. Chris Benoit, then M.V.P. vs. Batista.
-Kristal congratulates Vickie backstage and Teddy gives her a “not bad” for her performance. Mr. McMahon comes in praising Vickie, in his own strange way. Teddy asks to talk to Vince in private, but Vince is happy talking now. Teddy thinks they have a problem and Vince says the problem is Kristal. Vince doesn’t like the way Teddy and Kristal are dating (we know how he feels about a man dating a woman half his age), and Teddy doesn’t like the way Vince is talking to him.
2- JAMIE NOBLE & DAIVARI & CHAVO GUERRERO VS. JIMMY WANG YANG & PAUL LONDON & BRIAN KENDRICK
This could be good. Noble and Yang start the match. A couple of nice arm-bar counters from both men. London tags in and comes down off the top with both feet on the arm of Noble. He continues to work the left arm of Noble. London has Noble in a headlock but Noble back him into the heel corner where Chavo is tagged in. Head-scissor take-down by London then a blind tag by Kendrick, who dropkicks Chavo (on the mat after a drop-toe hold) in the face. Monkey-flip by London then a crossbody by Yang for two. Daivari is in, he gets tripped up by Yang who works in a Magistra Cradle for two. Daivari takes over on offense and tags in Noble. Noble with some kicks and a chop to Yang in the corner. Bodyslam and leg-drop are followed up by a pin attempt by the former Pitbull. Tag in to Chavo, who splashes Yang for a near-fall. European uppercut followed by a belly-to-back suplex for Chavo. Daivari is in, praises Allah, then dropkicks Yang in the back. After Yang counters Daivari, Noble is tagged in and he can’t stop Yang from tagging. Kendrick is in and hits some high-impact moves on Chavo, then Daivari. Noble trips up Kendrick and Chavo hits a brain-buster for two and now it’s breakin’ loose in Tulsa. Guys go flying out of the ring and we’re left with Chavo and Kendrick. Chavo tries a suplex off the top, but London comes in and powerbombs Chavo off the top WHILE Kendrick hits Sliced Bread #2 on Chavo and that’s good for the pin.
WINNERS: Yang, London & Kendrick at 7:34.
-Batista vs. M.V.P. is tonight, along with Benoit vs. Edge, and that one is next.
3- EDGE VS. CHRIS BENOIT
Arm-drag by Benoit as we start things slow. Arm-bar by Benoit, but Edge gets to the ropes. Edge is getting frustrated. Benoit knees and kicks away at Edge then applies a rear chinlock, then an arm-bar. Edge cheats to get the advantage, but Benoit Irish whips Edge hard into the turnbuckle. Running elbow-drop by Benoit for another cover. Only two, and he immediately goes to the Crossface. He can’t hook it in though. Edge is on the apron and Benoit comes outside to try a German suplex off the apron. Has anyone ever hit that? Edge, for his troubles, gets back-body dropped over the top and to the outside as we go to break.
Benoit tries to pin Edge as we return. He applies a European headlock to the champ. After that hold is broken, Benoit goes to the chops and Edge gets dumped to the outside again. Baseball slide that drives Edge into the barricade. After another failed pin attempt, Edge counters a whip into the turnbuckle and Benoit does the chest-first hard sell. Edge places Benoit on the top turnbuckle. Edge goes up, but gets headbutted down. Off the top comes Benoit, flying headbutt misses. A cover by Edge gets two. Edge works the arm of Benoit, perhaps so the Crossface won’t be able to be put on. Edge wrenches on the shoulder of Benoit. Boot to Benoit by Edge gets a near-fall. Benoit comes back with an Enziguiri but he can’t capitalize. Couple running forearms by Benoit, followed up with a Northern Lights suplex. Triple vertical suplex, then into the rolling Germans. The Canadian Crippler goes to the top and hits the headbutt, but takes a while to go for the pin, and only gets two and three quarters says Cole. Edge takes advantage of Benoit arguing with the ref to catapult Benoit head-first on the top turnbuckle. Edge misses the spear and Benoit puts on the Crossface, but Edge makes the bottom rope. Benoit misses a charge and his injured shoulder goes into the steel post. Edge hits the spear and it’s over.
WINNER: Edge at 19:26.
-Still to come, Batista vs. M.V.P.
-Ashley is getting her hair done backstage when Jillian comes upon the scene. Jillian claims Ashley will never look as good as her. Ashley says Jillian’s singing sounds like Roseanne Barr singing the National Anthem. She says if Jillian ends up staying on Smackdown, Ashley will make it a point to end her career. Jillian hits and runs, with Ashley following behind.
-Matt Hardy is signing stuff for charity backstage when Vince comes up to him. Matt is a bit upset at Vince forcing him to wrestle this past Monday. The girls’ chase comes by the two and Ashley ends up running into Vince, spilling his coffee on himself. Ashley apologizes and Vince seems forgiving until Matt leaves. Apparently, the Hardy boy has a handicap match up next. When he leaves, Vince accuses Ashley of doing it on purpose. He then suspends Ashley indefinitely, and she starts crying. What a bastard.
4- DEUCE ‘N DOMINO VS. MATT HARDY
It’s all offense for the greasers in the early going. Matt hangs Domino on the top rope, but Deuce is there to take the advantage. Matt gets a small package on Deuce for a one-count. Crossbody by Matt off the ropes for two, but back to a vertical base, Deuce kicks the injured ribs of Matt. Matt hits a couple clotheslines on Deuce, then hits the middle-rope legdrop. Domino is still inured on the outside...until I type that, when he comes back in and clotheslines Matt down. Deuce gets the leg choke in the ropes on Matt until ref Mickie Henson gets to the five count. Both men stomp away on Matt as we head to break.
Domino head to the top but Matt pushes Deuce into the ropes, causing Domino to fall (heheh). Matt gets a two-count on a pin attempt on Deuce. Side effect for two by Matt. Bulldog out of the corner and he clotheslines Domino in the same motion. Deuce gets oh-layed out of the ring by Matt, and a roll-up on Domino (with the tights held) gets two. Twist of Fate is hit on Domino, but Deuce comes in with the Crack’em In The Mouth for the win.
WINNERS: Deuce ‘N Domino at 9:10.
-The new backstage interviewer is backstage with M.V.P. He asks Porter about facing Batista. He cuts a promo hyping himself up and insulting the fans all at once.
5- M.V.P VS. BATISTA
Lock-up and a clean break in the corner by Batista. Porter tries jabbing and running, but that just pisses the big man off. Batista throws Porter into the corner and rams his shoulder into the gut of the U.S. Champ. M.V.P. takes a breather on the outside. He catches Batista throat-first on the ropes and then goes after the knee of the Animal. Batista counters though and works on Porter’s knee. Porter goes back on offense with a rake of the face. Batista, out of the corner, takes out Porter, who rolls out of the ring as it is break time.
Batista throws M.V.P into the corner then goes for a cover, only getting two. Clothesline followed up by a vertical suplex by Big Dave for two. Into the ropes goes M.V.P, back elbow by Batista. More shoulders into the mid-section of Porter. Porter comes back with some left hands and throws Batista face-first into the corner. Porter’s running boot knocks Batista right over the top rope and out of the ring. A few elbows on the outside from M.V.P, then a cover inside the ring. Another failed attempt after the first. DDT by M.V.P. Lateral press gets two. Big boot by M.V.P to Batista again, with Batista’s head laying across the apron and Porter making the kick from the outside. Batista slowly makes his way back in and hammers away at the champ. Drop-toe hold by M.V.P, into a modified camel clutch. Porter hits about a half dozen knees to the face of Batista, but Batista gets a back-body drop to come back. Clothesline from Batista, then one in the corner on M.V.P. Porter blocks a second one, but walks into a spinning side slam for a near-fall. Off the ropes goes M.V.P, spinebuster by Batista. Edge tries to interfere, but Batista spears him, enough for a DQ win for Batista.
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