TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 7/5: Ongoing coverage of Impact on Spike TV
Jul 5, 2007 - 9:02:00 PM
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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
July 5, 2007
Taped July 2 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
They open with a recap of last week's heavyweight title match - with Kurt Angle retaining the belt - that spanned the length of the show and featured enough run-ins to make any Attitude era fan blush.
Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show and talked about Team 3D vs. LAX and Styles/Daniels tonight to determine the final slot at Victory Road. Is it just me, or does today feel like Monday and I should be covering Raw?
They cut to a video package promo where Christopher Daniels spoke on behalf of himself and A.J. Styles. Still no explanation of why Daniels and Styles are teaming together after their split and Rhino playing Dr. Phil a few months ago. Homicide finally got promo time and said Konnan bailed on them, so he's going to stand up for their revolution. Brother Ray said they have beaten the best tag teams in the world, and it would be no different tonight. Homicide and Brother Devon exchanged signature one-liners.
The three teams came to the ring and Tenay talked about the history between LAX and Styles/Daniels. Team 3D came out, then West talked about them always wearing the gold. Tenay spoke over the "Team 3D sucks" chant that Konnan is no longer with LAX. West suggested that Konnan was always thought to be the backbone of LAX, but maybe he was holding them back.
1 -- TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON) vs. A.J. STYLES & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. LAX (HOMICIDE & HERNANDEZ) -- TNA Tag Title match
The heel teams double teamed Team 3D as soon as the bell rang. Homicide came off the top rope with a clothesline on Ray, clearing him to the floor. Devon then cleaned house before Hernandez ran him over with a shoulderblock. Styles then flew off the top rope onto Devon. Homicide and Styles battled in a preview of an eventual title match in an alternate wrestling universe, then Homicide caught Styles off the ropes with an overhead slam. He then ran into a flying dropkick from Daniels. Hernandez attempted the Border Toss on Daniels, but Styles pulled Daniels down. Daniels did too much posing, so Ray ran him over. A few vocal fans chanted, "Team 3D sucks" as they hit a reverse hanging neckbreaker on Hernandez for a nearfall. The majority of the crowd popped for 3D as they cut to a break.
They returned with Devon making a cover on Hernandez for a nearfall. Ray then airballed on a top rope splash on Homicide, who quickly went up top and flew onto Ray with a huracanrana. Daniels and Styles then hit the high-low on Ray for a nearfall. The referee tried to restore order as Homicide slapped on a neck vice on Ray, then LAX exchanged tags working on Rey for a few minutes. Homicide hit a top rope splash on Ray again, and another nearfall at 12:00. They cut to another break with LAX still in control.
They return with Daniels and Styles now working on Ray in center ring. Ray fought back from his knees with stiff chops to Daniels's chest, but Daniels cut him off with a punch to the jaw. Suddenly, Ray came back with a full nelson bomb. He slowly crawled over to his corner and tagged out to Devon, who unloaded on the heels. Devon threw Styles through the ropes, then Daniels accepted a lift-up reverse slam for a nearfall when Hernandez broke up the pin. At 16:00, Ray hit a scoop slam on Homicide, then Devon went up top for the diving headbutt to the crotch. Team 3D then called for the tables, but the heels ambushed them in the ring. Daniels got caught in the corner, then 3D hit the Doomsday Device on Daniels, who kicked out just in time. Styles then flew off the top rope with a springboard double dropkick on 3D. Homicie went for the Cop Killah, but Styles slipped out and hit a back flip soccer kick. The action was all over the place, then Styles hit a frog splash and Daniels hit the BME in succession for a nearfall. Suddenly, Hernandez with the cracker jack on Daniels followed by the Border Toss on Styles. Homicide had the pin on Styles, but Daniels pulled the ref out just in time. Hernandez then generated a head of steam in the ring and flew over the top rope onto Daniels, Styles, and Devon on the floor. Ray, not to be outdone, went to the top rope and hit a Flying Sausage splash onto everyone on the floor. Daniels, not to be outdone, went up top, but Devon cut him off in the ring. Devon went for a powerbomb, but Daniels countered in mid-air with a huracanrana. He followed with the STO, then went for the Angel's Wings, but Devon countered with a back body drop. Ray back in the ring, and 3D hit the 3D on Daniels. Ray then covered Daniels for the pin and the win.
WINNERS: Team 3D in 21:00 to retain the TNA Tag Titles. Amazing final five minutes, albeit Highspot Fest 2007. If you only watch five minutes of the wrestling this week, those are the five minutes. (***1/4)
They instantly cut to Jeremy "Scheme Gene" Borash backstage without letting the title match sink in. That's unacceptable. Borash told us about Angle and Brock Lesnar meeting in the center of the ring last week. Find out now on TNA Mobile! We heard faint whimpering in the background. Someone left a porn movie on in the background. Borash then led the camera off camera. No, it was just Christy Hemme macking on Lance Hoyt. Christy called Borash a pervert for watching. Hoyt said he was under Christy's covers the whole time while with VKM. He said it's time because he has the skills, the fiery red hot, and a set. They continued to mack, then Hoyt carried her away. Samoa Joe approached Borash from behind and ripped the mic away. Almost a Ron Simmons "Damn!" moment from Joe. He said Team 3D is the last piece of the puzzle. Joe talked about pimpslapping Kurt Angle last week, and how he's his puppet. He said he's going to use Angle to get the tag titles, so he can go after Angle's TNA Title to have all the gold. Joe said he still needs Angle's help to destroy him. He closed: "I am Samoa Joe. I am the X Division champion. And Kurt, inevitably, you will be broken."
Jim Cornette joined Tenay and West ringside with his airport traffic controller headsets. Tenay and West then broke down the Victory Road PPV card in nine days. Tenay asked Cornette about some sort of special announcement concerning the X Division. They aired a video package on the Ultimate X match. Cornette broke down the Match of Champions match with Angle & Joe vs. Team 3D.
Suddenly, Christian Cage interrupted on stage with Tomko. He screamed into a megaphone that the megaphone is a symbol of a director, producer, and of power. Christian approached Cornette and said he produces ratings. He said he produced Jeff Jarrett, Sting, Rhino, Samoa Joe, and Abyss. Christian asked about Chris Harris, saying, "Who in the hell is Chris Harris?" He said Harris is going to be a bonafide superstar just by breathing the same air he breathes. Christian said that once he makes another superstar, Cornette is going to have put Christian back in the main event. Cornette snapped back and said Harris is the guy that's about to shatter the glass ceiling, using Christian's head as a battering ram. He switched gears and said Abyss is still looking for him. Christian said he knows as a matter of fact that Abyss isn't even here tonight. He talked big about slapping Abyss right in the face if he were here. Suddenly, Abyss's music hit and the lights changed to Abyss's entrance them. Christian stumbled over Tomko, but no sign of Abyss.
They quickly cut an interview with Mike Tenay and Rhino with Tenay asking about why he snapped on Jim Cornette and everyone else a few weeks ago. Rhino gave us a story about his father having a drinking addiction, which turned into his addiction. He said he finally gave it up, but James Storm poured it in his mouth and it reminded him of those demons. Rhino said Storm opened up a wound, and he has to be held responsible for his actions.
2 -- MS. BROOKS vs. MS. JACKIE MOORE vs. GAIL KIM
The story unfolded with the heels - Jackie and Brooks - arguing over who would beat up Gail. Jackie then rearranged Brooks's assets with a series of chops. Brooks returned the favor to Gail, who walked into a face buster across her knee. Brooks tried to pull Gail back into the ring, but Gail pulled her to the floor. Jackie followed with a kick onto Brooks. Gail then went up top and hit a splash onto both opponents. Cut to a break.
Back from break, Brooks and Jackie had a dual half-crab on Brooks. Tenay plugged the Mobile contest to win a date with Christy Hemme. They don't tell it's chaperoned by Lance Hoyt. Gail and Brooks fought up top and Gail nearly broke everyone's neck with a huracanrana from the top rope. Jackie then caught Gail with a hard German Suplex in center ring. Gail suddenly fired up a comeback and took down both women with a spinning head scissors. She sent Brooks to the outside, then rolled through on a pin attempt by Jackie for the pin of her own to win the match.
WINNER: Gail Kim in 8:00. Nice match. Good action, but the post-match overshadowed the in-ring, as per the formula. (*1/2)
After the match, the women beat down Gail until Eric Young made the save. Jackie and Brooks backed away, then Brooks confronted Young. Jackie then jumped on Young's back, but he threw her down. Ditto for Brooks. Robert Roode then hit the ring from behind and clotheslined Young, leading to a beating by Roode. The women beat up Gail, then Brooks held up Roode's arm.
Backstage, Borash found Sting in a dark alley. Sting led Borash through the bowels of the building, discussing Abyss. Oh boy. Here we go again. Sting said he never gave up on Abyss, feeling indebted to "Chris". He said Abyss has been hiding behind the mask, while he's been hiding behind the paint or years. Sting said Abyss is going to talk next week. The camera panned left and revealed Abyss, without the mask and with Sting facepaint on. He threw his head back, then did his "X" pose. And there's our first glimpse of Abyss sans mask.
Kurt Angle's music hit and he walked out on stage sporting a suit while holding the TNA Title and a version of the IWGP Title. That's how a champion is supposed to look like. Thumbs up. Angle took the mic and said tonight is Kurt Angle "champion of champions" night. He said T-N-A stands for Total Non-Stop Angle. Angle said he put TNA on the map, not Jeff Jarrett, not Sting, not Abyss, not Christian Cage. (No mention of Joe.) Angle said since he's been here, TNA has realized record ratings and increasing buyrates. Boy, I'd get that rating above 1.2 before bragging about it. Angle ripped on Team 3D, then Team 3D's music hit. Ray came to the ring shouting, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah" oh, and "blah, blah, blah." He said TNA is about an entire locker room of wrestlers striving to become the greatest wrestling company in the world.
Lumberjack Ray said the company is about total non-stop action, not Kurt Angle. He talked about the highest ratings in the last couple of weeks because of the whole locker room, and because of the fans. Gag alert. He complemented the fans in the arena and watching at home. Angle said the fans live their lives through him and Ray's obviously a guy who won a hot dog eating contest on Coney Island. Ray vs. Chestnut with Kobayashi as special referee. I'll pay to see it. Angle, sweating profusely through his suit, said that Ray sucks. Ray said that if he sucks, then Angle blows. Ah, I miss the days of Tenay interjecting a "That was stiff" right about here. Angle tried to land a blow, but Ray caught him with a blow. Ray asked for a table, then Devon brought it into the ring. Team 3D slowly set up the table, giving Samoa Joe enough time to hit the ring and land a double clothesline and dropkick on Team 3D. Joe then snapped off a Samoan Drop on Devon. He played to the crowd, but, predictably, Angle caught Joe from behind and hit an Olympic Slam through the table. A lesson that you never, never, never play to the camera with a table in the ring. When are these kids going to learn? Angle posed for the crowd, which was red-hot for the final segment. Strong conclusion to the show.
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