TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/2: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV broadcast
Oct 2, 2008 - 10:10:42 PM
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By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
October 2, 2008
Taped Sept. 29 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
The show started with a recap of last week's show focusing on Sting vs. Joe and Jarrett vs. Angle. Tonight, Mick Foley debuts in the Impact Zone.
Impact Zone: They started the show with the biggest...egos in TNA. Out came Angelina Love and Velvet Sky, who brought Kute Kip along for the ride to the ring. ODB came out as the opposition for Angelina tonight. Man, I forgot how much flesh TNA presents on Thursday nights on basic cable.
1 -- ANGELINA LOVE (w/Velvet Sky and Kute Kip) vs. ODB
Mike Tenay quickly plugged Kurt Angle's negative interview with the U.K. Sun last week. Don West referenced "those comments," as if we have a frame of reference for what anyone is talking about. Again, gearing the broadcast to an Internet crowd is going to keep the show at a 1.0-1.2 rating until the end of time. West said Jeff Jarrett was livid with the comments. Predictable finish with Kute running interference on the ref, then Velvet spewing liquid courage in ODB's eyes. Angelina then hit the Lights Out finisher for the win.
WINNER: Angelina in 4:00. The problem isn't the predictable interference customary for every TNA TV match, but the fact that ODB taking a foreign substance in the eyes should be made a huge deal worthy of a few weeks of selling an eye injury. Unfortunately, that won't happen, so it's a finish that means nothing that no one will remember. (1/2*)
Backstage: Jeremy Borash brought in Jeff Jarrett to discuss Kurt Angle's comments in the U.K. Sun. Jarrett grabbed the newspaper and said he's going to address things right now.
[Commercial Break. A commercial aired for the Smackdown debut on MyNet tomorrow night.]
Backstage: ODB was screaming at Traci Brooks about what the Beautiful People just did while wiping her eyes with a towel. She demanded a tag match tonight and Traci granted the match. ODB then fondled Traci several times before shouting something about having nuts. Traci said her parents must be so proud.
Video package: They focused on the Angle vs. Jarrett insider feud. ... Impact Zone: Jeff Jarrett came to the ring with guitar and newspaper in hand. Jarrett started by saying "some people" believe Jarrett doesn't have a chance against Angle at Bound for Glory. Who are those people? Jarrett said his entire career has been with his back against the wall. He said over six years ago when he founded this company, people told him he would never succeed battling the "big machine up North." Regionalizing the company - reason no. 2 why they'll never advance past the 1.0-1.2 range.
Jarrett then addressed Angle's "harsh and critical" comments about everyone in the TNA office when he was supposed to be promoting TNA overseas. He said he's going to read some excerpts from the interview. Jarrett read from the article that Angle is considering options when his contract expires next year. He read a comment Angle said about Vince McMahon, that Vince is the most-successful promoter of all-time. They have a mutual respect for each other, have a great bond, etc. Jarrett spun it that Angle doesn't want to be here in TNA anymore. He said Angle thanked him over and over two years ago when he came to TNA from WWE - a "living hell".
Jarrett then rolled footage from Angle's interview two years ago that Jarrett chose not to air back then, but he's airing now. They aired Angle's foul-mouthed rant on Vince McMahon that was apparently supposed to prove the point that a) Angle is clinically insane and b) TNA is desperate for attention and relevancy. Jarrett then spoke after the video aired that he's going to beat Angle so bad at Bound for Glory that not even Papa Vince will take Angle back.
Backstage: Jeremy Borash ran up to Kurt Angle, who just showed up in the building. Borash asked Angle if he got his voice mail, which Angle didn't get. Borash spilled the beans about Jarrett airing the anti-Vince promo from two years ago, causing Angle to freak out. He added that Cornette wants to see him right now.
2 -- CHRIS SABIN & ALEX SHELLEY vs. LAX (HOMICIDE & HERNANDEZ)
Hernandez showed off his strength early on in this match while Tenay and West plugged a giant Monster's Ball tag match at the PPV. Machineguns then took control at 2:00 when Sabin landed a dive onto Homicide on the floor. Back in the ring, Guns double-teamed Homicide with some rapid-fire combo moves.
The action broke down in typical TNA tag team fashion, then Homicide dropped Shelley with the Gringo Cutter out of the corner. Hernandez wanted a big dive to the floor, but Sabin caught him with a superkick. Sabin tried to follow with a cross-body splash, but Hernandez caught him in mid-air for a sit-down powerbomb. Hernandez made the subsequent pin for the win.
WINNERS: LAX in 5:00. Good showcase for Hernandez, who should be main eventing PPVs as a singles wrestler next year. (*1/2)
Video package: They aired sit-down interviews with Roxxi, Traci Brooks, and ODB about Roxxi's head-shaving angle earlier this year. They had a clip of a phone interview with Roxxi's mom, who Roxxi said freaked out when the PPV aired. ... Segue to Tenay and West plugging the Bound for Glory card with Roxxi challenging for the Knockouts Title against Taylor Wilde and Awesome Kong.
Backstage: Jim Cornette brought in Kurt Angle to talk about Angle's comments in the Sun. He presented a message from "you know who" that he was fined... $25,000 for the comments. Angle snapped and said he wants a piece of Jarrett or the person who called for the fine to tell the person where to shove the money. Angle stormed off, then Cornette tried to chase after him before he could make things worse.
Video package: They aired a dark video on the Suicide character that lives amongst the cockroaches in the TNA video game. Looks like a cross between Hallowicked and Jigsaw.
Impact Zone: Jimmy Rave was led to the ring by Christy Hemme and Lance Rock for an X Division Title match. Eric Young then came out as the second challenger to Sheik Abdul Bashir, who has apparently spent a lot of time in the gym recently.
3 -- X Division champion SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. JIMMY RAVE (w/Hemme and Rock) vs. ERIC YOUNG -- X Division Title match
Bashir finished off Young with a spike DDT, then he stared at ref Shane to instruct him to make the three count. Shane made the three count, then Sheik demanded that Shane raise his arm in victory. They had a face-to-face stare down and Sheik feigned a punch, but he pulled back and laughed. Shane was ready to fight, but Sheik stepped out of the ring, satisfied with the win.
WINNER: Sheik in 2:00. Is a ref the #1 contender to the X Division Title? Wow. What's happened to this division? (1/2*)
Backstage: Borash was with Christian Cage, A.J. Styles, and Jay Lethal to talk strategy for their six-man tag match. Christian handed it off to Jay Lethal for some commentary. Lethal was super-thankful for the opportunity to team up with them, then Lethal cut a promo about watching the tape from last week to find out what he did wrong in the match against Booker T. He said he won't repeat his mistakes. Lethal walked off, then Styles made sure with Christian that they're cool.
Impact Zone: Team 3D came to the ring first for the six-man tag match. Booker and Sharmell then came out, with Sharmell wielding the briefcase of doom. Contents to be disclosed whenever Booker wants to. Jay Lethal then came out first for the babyface trio, followed by A.J. Styles, then Christian Cage. Tenay posed the question of whether there will be tension between Styles and Christian tonight.
[Q5 -- Second hour]
4 -- A.J. STYLES & CHRISTIAN CAGE & JAY LETHAL vs. TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON) & BOOKER T (w/Sharmell and briefcase)
Right at the top of the second hour, we're starting with some wrestling instead of a commercial break. Nice adjustment. Oops, spoke too soon. A minute into the match, they cut to break.
Four minutes later, they returned from break with Tenay hyping Mick Foley as a renaissance man in pro wrestling. In the ring, the babyface trio was working over Booker. Lethal then found himself too far away from home and Team 3D got him from behind to set up the attack on Lethal. Booker scored a nearfall on a leg strike, then 3D started working over Lethal in the corner. Christian eventually took the hot tag and the action broke down. Ray landed a big body drop on Christian, then Lethal, then Styles, who apparently didn't pay attention the first two times. Styles and Lethal then quickly returned the favor and Christian hit a top rope splash, but Ray kicked out.
Afterward, Booker smashed Lethal with the briefcase while Styles took out Devon on the floor. Booker then tagged himself into the match and Christian rolled him up, but the ref was distracted by Ray. Styles tried to nail Ray with a springboard smash, but Ray moved and Styles butted heads with Christian. Booker then rolled up the KO'ed Christian for the win. Afterward, Styles helped Christian to his feet with a consoling hug, but Christian didn't really want any part of that. No blows.
WINNERS: Team Booker in 11:00. Fine match. About what you would expect with another miscommunication between Styles and Christian to continue building tension in the latest chapter of their on-again, off-again relationship. (*3/4)
[Commercial Break. Three straight WWE commercials during the break.]
Impact plug: Don West plugged TNA Impact live in Las Vegas on Oct. 23 from the Hard Rock Café.
Backstage: Kurt Angle was being restrained by security until he barged into Jeff Jarrett's office looking for Jarrett. He vowed to stick that $25k up Jarrett's ass when he finds him.
Sit-down with Tenay: With no build-up, they went to a pre-tape video of Mike Tenay hosting a point-counterpoint between Samoa Joe and Sting. Sting referenced WCW shutting down, the WCW Title, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Hulk Hogan, and all the big names that made it to where there could be a Sting. Samoa Joe said he's trying to run through the veterans because they would do the same thing to him. Tenay tersely told Sting to make final comments. Sting said he's going to walk that aisle one more time at Bound for Glory. Joe said they'll be rolling Sting back down the aisle when he's done with him. Joe stormed off, leaving Sting shaking his head.
Backstage: Lauren found Abyss and Matt Morgan in a dark part of the building. Lauren said Abyss was supposedly treated for his addiction to pain. Abyss laughed and said he's not crazy. He said he's just going to wrestle with no weapons. Morgan said he'll handle the weapons. The 5-hour power energy drink shot in and Morgan just went nuts talking about the Bound for Glory match involving Team 3D. Abyss wanted to make sure the therapist and Morgan are sure he'll be a top wrestler if he just sticks to wrestling. Morgan assured him he's fine.
Impact Zone: Beer Money, Inc. came to the ring dressed to talk. Roode was sporting a peculiar fedora hat while Jacqueline was missing three buttons on her top. Meanwhile, Storm had a beer dispenser wrapped around his waist. Roode started talking about how well they're doing as a unit. He addressed Salinas of LAX, who has not been seen or heard from since Jacqueline took her out. Roode went to Hector Guerrero, who has been forced back to the announcer position after last week. He then issued an open challenge to anyone in the back or anyone in any wrestling company.
Team 3D walked out ready to talk, but Morgan & Abyss interrupted. They were interrupted by LAX, and Homicide was subsequently interrupted by Jim Cornette. Cornette said the three-way #1 contender's Monster's Ball match is off the card. Now, it's a four-way tag title match for Beer Money's TNA Tag Titles. Cornette said he doesn't who will beat BMI for the belts, but he bets them someone will.
Backstage: They showed Angelina and Velvet on the way to the ring with Kip. Who will ODB choose as her partner tonight?
Impact Zone: After the anti-divas Knockouts video package aired, Angelina, Velvet, and Kip came to the ring for a tag match. No crotch-burn ring entrance this time. ODB then came out on stage and told the "two skanks" she found a partner tonight. Rhaka Khan came out on stage to no reaction and she rolled her tongue across her mouth as Angelina and Velvet showed a touch of fear.
5 -- ANGELINA LOVE & VELVET SKY (w/Kute Kip) vs. ODB & RHAKA KHAN
ODB took a pounding early on, then Rhaka tagged in and cleaned house. She did her vampire-like rolling-of-the-tongue for the hard camera, and Kip had enough. He stormed into the ring to confront Rhaka, but the ref sent Kip away to the corner. Angelina and Velvet then took advantage of the distraction to go back to work on ODB. Rhaka took another hot tag and smashed the heels with high kicks before delivering a sweeping leg drop on Velvet for the pin and the win.
Afterward, ODB was quite pleased with her selection of partner. Kip wanted to have a word about that, which allowed Velvet and Angelina to sneak in the back door and attack the winners. However, Rhino made the quick entry into the ring to clear Kip and send the Beautiful People packing. Looks like we have a six-person tag in the future.
WINNERS: Team ODB in 5:00. Well, Rhaka was pretty impressive here based on how she was positioned as the largest competitor in the match. There's something not quite right with her character, but that's part of the intrigue as well. Concerning Rhino, at least he has a role these days. (*)
Impact Zone: Some really generic TNA theme music hit, then Mick Foley came to the ring dressed in black. Tenay listed all of Foley's accolades as a wrestler, author, actor, and commentator. Tenay asked what issues Foley will address on Impact. Foley played to the crowd for a while, then he said it's an honor to stand in the same ring ... where a few short minutes ago, Kute Kip just stood. "Absolute honor!" he said. Foley said it's obviously one of the greatest nights of his career. He thanked people who just tuned in from the VP debate. Admitting that the previous 110 minutes of this show wasn't worth watching probably isn't a great thing. Foley did more talking and thanking in between the "Foley" chants before thanking Vince McMahon for presenting him with so many great opportunities. He switched gears and said McMahon made it easy for him to leave.
Kurt Angle's music interrupted, then Angle stormed the ring. Foley cut off Angle and said he told McMahon thanks, but no thanks. Angle said he's sorry to busy his party, but Jeff Jarrett wants to embarrass him with an interview he did about McMahon two years ago. Angle said he has a problem with Foley being called the greatest acquisition in TNA history. He said Jarrett is full of (bleep) and so are the fans for buying into Jarrett's crap.
Angle changed gears and said Jarrett was right about a few things that he lost his gold medal, his TNA Title, and his wife. Angle took off his glasses and said he's not the only one who lost his wife. The crowd groaned. Angle then cut a promo on Foley about carrying the company alone for the last two years. Foley shot back that he's not going to listen to Angle take credit for everything guys like Joe and Styles also accomplished. He then explained why he came to TNA.
Foley put over Edge and The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho, even the great Triple H and John Cena. He then got to thinking about Angle because Angle has defeated all of them before. Foley said maybe Jarrett is wrong; that Angle is the greatest acquisition in TNA. He called Angle possibly the greatest performer in wrestling history. What does "performing" have to do with picking up a win or a loss in the context of a wrestling show? A perfect picture of TNA's inferiority complex brewing here with a mess of insider references and attempts to be relevant compared to WWE.
Foley said he needs to sit ringside and see if Angle is really the best. Angle asked if he just wants to sit ringside and call the match, then he can replace Don West. Foley said he in fact did not come to replace West, although West can be a little unbearable at times. Foley said he really needs to get in the ring. Really get close to the action. Really smell the action. Angle paused and unintelligently (on purpose) asked Foley if he wanted to be in his corner. Foley put an arm around his shoulder and laughed, then said that's not the case. He said he's been named the special enforcer for Angle vs. Jarrett. Angle snapped. Foley said it's true; it's damn true. End show.
We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.
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