TV REPORTS 10/9 TNA Impact Review by Wilkenfeld: TNA limps towards Bound for Glory
Oct 9, 2008 - 10:49:04 PM
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By: Daniel Wilkenfeld, PWTorch Contributor
For those who missed the disclaimer last week, I might not get a Bound for Glory update up till late next week. Sorry.
Where We've Been: Sheik Abdul Bashir is the X Division Champion, having won a grand total of, I believe, three matches. This would make sense if he had anything resembling a story-line, a feud, or a point, but so far no dice. The best I can figure is that, with a tweener-tweener main event, they want to have at least one outright heel to be vanquished for a title at Bound for Glory. The person most likely to do the vanquishing would presumably be Consequences Creed, who has been in line for a push ever since having the hell beaten out of him by Booker T a few months back (I don't quite get that logic myself). I do get the reasoning behind having a feel good moment at BFG, and if a Creed title win catapults the belt it might all prove worthwhile; but this is really about as far as the X Division Championship has ever sunk.
The Show: Three Days to Glory
JB is in the Jarrett's realistically swanky office, where Double J has realized that while Kurt's been wrestling around the world he's been getting out of ring shape at home. He still doesn't regret accepting the challenge, since it's personal and he's doing what he has to do. JB notices Kurt's gold medals on Jarrett's desk.
The opening credits are preceded by an unusually elaborate video package, complete with Smashing Pumpkins background music.
Christian Cage comes out to start things off. He says that all he's been hearing lately is how he needs to pick a side, but he's the champ, and he'll pick a side when he wants to. Or maybe he doesn't want to pick a side and, unlike everyone else, he doesn't need to pick a side. Booker T comes down with Sharmell and the mystery briefcase. He says he didn't come out here to fight, but to reason with Cage. They should be on the same page, cause they're from the same school. I don't think even Booker knows what accent he's doing anymore. He says that Christian brought AJ to new heights, and now AJ just wants to shove him aside. AJ comes out, and doesn't believe that Christian can't see through this, since he's supposed to be the master manipulator. He calls Booker out on the accent, but Booker talks right past AJ and to Christian, pointing out the disrespect in AJ's voice. He says AJ doesn't know who he's talking to, but AJ says he knows exactly who he's addressing—he's talking to a washed up has-been who better get out of his face. Booker plays it like AJ said that to Christian. Cornette comes out, and says that he's annoyed that everyone's talking trash but no one's backing it up. Rachael questions the management style of critiquing employees for not throwing random punches. Cornette books Booker vs. AJ, with Cage as special guest referee.
JB is in the rafters with Sting, and he wants to know if this match is about more than the title. Sting agrees that this is one of the biggest matches of his career, because he's representing not just himself but disrespected people everywhere. JB starts to ask about what it'll mean if he loses, but Sting says that that's simply not an option.
This match is no-DQ. Rhino starts things off beating Kip around the ring. He pulls a table out from under the ring, but before he can set it up Kip hits him and whips him into the barricade. There is no way this is an efficient use of time three days before BFG. Rhino reverses an attempted shot to the steps, but Kip retakes control as soon as they roll back into the ring. He starts working the Chin Lock, so Rhino powers out, but rolls right into a choke from the Beautiful People. Kip distracts the ref, which seems like a waste of effort in a no-DQ match. He grabs a paper bag with his picture on it, but the momentary distraction is enough for Rhino to rally with a series of strikes. Rhino sets up the table in the corner of the ring; Kip takes the time to rally, but Rhino puts him back down with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Rhino sets up for the GORE, but Kip sets aside. Rhino stops himself, but The Beautiful People spray something in his eyes, and Kip Spears him through the table for the kill. Remember how three years ago Rhino won the Bound for Glory main event? Oh wait, no one was watching then.
After the match the Beautiful People keep beating down Rhino, so Rhaka Khan and ODB come down, chairs in hand, to make the save. Wow. I really thought Rhino couldn't get any lower.
JB catches up with Kurt Angle as he arrives. He tells him that Jarrett has the medals, but Angle says Jeff uses his brain like Kurt uses his Ankle Lock, and he (Kurt) is not going to be suckered into a trap.
(2) CONSEQUENCES CREED defeats SONJAY DUTT (w/SOCAL VAL), "BLACK MACHISMO" JAY LETHAL, and PETEY WILLIAMS
Lethal, not surprisingly, goes right after Sonjay, who slides out of the ring for a kiss. Lethal follows him out with a Suicide Dive, and Creed goes for a quick cover on Petey. Lethal comes back in with a Missile Dropkick, but Sonjay comes after him and tosses him back out. Creed floors Petey with a Rolling Clothesline, but Sonjay attacks from behind. Creed fights him off, but then Petey hits a Back Breaker-into-a-Neck-Breaker. He holds up Creed to take a punch from Sonjay and, for the first time in wrestling history, that move actually works. Sonjay turns on Petey, who tosses him from the ring. Lethal comes in and hits a Tajiri-like Handspring Elbow, and the action just starts moving way to fast to keep track of. There's some classic X Division chaos, leading to Creed winning with a Back Slide on Sonjay.
Bashir, in the back, thinks it fully appropriate that he'll be facing Creed, who drapes himself in the red white and blue. There's some generic heel ranting here.
Mick Foley is on Karen's Angle. I'm sure this is exactly what he came to TNA for. She says he can talk about whatever he wants. Why did he need to come on Karen's Angle for that? Not surprisingly, he chooses to talk about how excited he is to be here. He thinks this is a place where he could make a difference, unlike in WWE. He's excited to be involved with Jarrett's return, and the match of someone he's argued is the best wrestler in the world. He doesn't know if Jeff will be able to keep his emotions under control, but he's going to have to if he doesn't want to waste energy. He hopes he'll be able to be like a mentor to Jeff, since he knows what it's like to come off a long lay-off. That sounds like it'll be some balanced officiating then.
JB is in the back with Rhino, who says that at Bound for Glory fans will pay to watch him play a game of "Gore the Whore".
Steve "Mongo" McMichael will be the special referee at Bound for Glory. Who? Oh, I guess he was LT's lackey for WrestleMania XI.
Beer Money are in the ring when Matt Morgan's music hits. Or at least I gather it's his music from the fact that he came out to it—it is sadly not the cheap Saliva-knockoff I knew and loved.
(3) MATT MORGAN & ABYSS defeat BEER MONEY INC. (w/JACQUELINE)
Team 3D are on commentary as Morgan starts things out overpowering Roode in the ring. Roode comes back with some Knife Edged Chops, but walks into a Fall Away Slam. Storm tries to come off the top rope with a Cross Body Block; Morgan catches him, but Roode clips the leg from behind and they start working the double team. Morgan fights off a Figure Four attempt by Roode, but gets caught in a Single Leg Boston Crab. Morgan tries to crawl over to Abyss, and connects with the tag while the ref's back is turned. The ref keeps Abyss out of the ring as Beer Money work the double team. They try to hit a Double Suplex, but it's reversed into a Double Clothesline; Morgan makes the tag. Abyss comes in swinging with big right hands and charging Roode and Storm in the corner. Team 3D on commentary suggest that they plan on setting something on fire at Bound for Glory—I would have left that as a pleasant surprise. In the ring Abyss nails the Black Hole Slam on Storm for the win.
Earlier tonight Not-Crystal interviewed LAX. Homicide says that the don't care about the other four gringos in the match, cause they just want revenge on Beer Money. A wise man once told him that when you hit that ring, you need to elevate the hate, and he's going to make sure Beer Money bleed. There's an awkward cut in the middle of the promo, but from all we saw Homicide was fine.
They hype Angle-Jarrett.
Tenay announces that Karen has stepped aside as the host of Karen's Angle. That's very sad under the circumstances, if good for us fans.
Mick Foley comes out, and he's here to address the issue on everyone's mind—why he's wearing a corduroy jacket. He explained that we all saw a few months ago when Brother Ray stole and bastardized the red-and-black flannel, so now we all have to bear with him as he tries to come up with a new wardrobe. He talks about how great last week is, but that you can never predict greatness—you can make sure that all the pieces are there, but then you need there to be some magic in the air. At Sunday all the elements will be there, but no one can guarantee a great match—that's surprisingly honest. What he can guarantee is that if any ally of either side tries to get involved, they will be dealt with swiftly by the enforcer. He calls down Kurt and Jeff for the pre-match instructions. They come down, and the crowd is riotously behind Jarrett. Foley asks if they have any last words, and Jeff said that TNA made a huge mistake in hiring Kurt. He didn't want things to happen like this, but now he sees that it couldn't have ended any other way. Before that, he has something that Kurt earned, so he gives Angle the gold medal and says he'll see him in Chicago. When Mick sees that Kurt's not going to talk, he suggests they shake hands. Jeff extends his hand, and after a moment's hesitation Kurt takes it. They play Jarrett's music, but as he leaves the ring, Kurt grabs the mic. He thanks him for giving him back his gold medal, and asks him to do one more thing. When Jeff gets home, he should tell his three little girls—here Kurt mentions them by name—that Kurt apologizes. The crowd, having apparently never seen a wrestling show before, applauds. Kurt finishes—he should apologize, because, after Bound for Glory, daddy won't be coming home anymore. Angle walks away smirking.
Tenay and West run down the card at BFG. Just added is The Beautiful People with Cute Kip vs. Rhino, Rhaka Khan, & ODB. Seriously? I know you had to get ODB and The Beautiful People on the card somehow, but Cute Kip being on the show is just plain silly.
Booker tells us to cross the line.
Speaking of Booker, JB is in his locker room, and this time the accent's Jamaican-ish. He says that he's confident Christian will be on his side, cause Christian is a champion like him, and AJ is just a field hand. JB asks one more time about the brief case, but Booker says the time to reveal it is still approaching.
We have another Rough Cut about Roxxi, who promises that Kong will receive payback for the cut she inflicted on Roxxi a couple weeks back. She thinks she's earned the top spot. The screen says "to be concluded at Bound for Glory".
(4) RAESHA SAEED & AWESOME KONG defeat ROXXI & TAYLOR WILDE
Kong and Roxxi start things off, and an illegal double team from Saeed lets Kong take control. Taylor blind tags herself in, and comes in with a dropkick off the top rope. Kong tags in Saeed and tosses her onto Wilde for a two count. Kong comes in and tosses Wilde across the ring by her hair. Tenay says that Sting and Samoa Joe have agreed to add a stipulation to their contract later tonight. Saeed grabs Wilde from the outside, but she escapes and makes the tag while Kong and Saeed collide. Roxxi takes Saeed out of the ring and takes down Kong with some move off the top rope. Saeed breaks up the cover, so Taylor comes into the ring to deal with her. They toss Kong, but when Taylor goes for a Standing Ensuguri Saeed dodges and Taylor takes out Roxxi. Kong pulls Taylor to the outside. Saeed tries to put Roxxi away with a Moonsault, but Roxxi rolls out of the way. Roxxi sets up the Voodoo Drop, but a returning Kong nails her from behind with a Mongolian Chop and puts her away with an Implant Buster.
(5) AJ STYLES defeats BOOKER T
Referee Christian Cage keeps Booker from using an illegal fist in the corner, which gives AJ the chance to get a quick School Boy for two. Booker takes him down with a Spinning Heel Kick, but when he picks him back up for some chops he eats a high dropkick for one.
Booker is in control when we come back, working AJ over with Knee Lifts. He goes for another Spinning Heel Kick, but AJ ducks and nails him with a clothesline. Booker reverses an Irish Whip and tosses AJ neck first into the ropes. Booker slowly works AJ over with a Key Lock. AJ powers out, but gets put back down with a Spine Buster for two. Booker works the Reverse Chin Lock, trying to run through the full gamut of world's most boring moves. He goes to put AJ away with the Scissors Kick, but AJ dodges and nails a Pele. Booker tries to strike as they get to their feet, but AJ blocks and hits a couple of clotheslines. A Suplex gets two. He hits his new Rolling Arm Bar, but Booker gets his foot on the bottom rope. Cage breaks up the hold, and after a moment's arguing AJ turns around into a German Suplex from Booker. Christian counts the three, but it's not clear whose shoulders were down. Both men try to get Christian to raise their hands, and after a moment he sides with AJ. Don West claims that both men's shoulders had been down, but AJ managed to get one up just before the three count; I just went back and checked, and damned if he wasn't right. Well done.
After the match, Booker takes issue with the decision, so Cage knocks him from the ring. AJ goes up to thank Christian, but Cage just clotheslines him too. Cornette comes out, annoyed that nothing was settled, and books a triple threat match at BFG. I'm not sure how that will help, but okay.
Jim Cornette is behind a podium in the ring, to which he calls down Samoa Joe and Sting. If Sting was promised a match as a result of re-upping with TNA, why does Joe have to sign? What would happen if he didn't? Cornette reveals that the new stipulation is a no-rematch clause. Sting signs first, followed by Joe. I don't get the point of signing a contract if you don't do it on a conspicuously placed and extremely breakable table. Cornette asks them for last words. Sting says that it didn't have to be this way, but it is what it is, so he'll see Joe at Bound for Glory. Joe responds that Sting can do what he needs to do, but so will he. He bets that Sting is wondering why he hasn't stepped across the ring to beat him up right now. The reason is that if Kevin taught him anything, it's that you be professional. Professionally, Sting's wrong about Joe, cause he does respect him. Joe extends his hand, and Sting takes it. Cornette declares the match made, but suddenly Joe yanks Sting's hand and head butts him. Sting gets back up swinging, and we have a pull-apart brawl.
Where We're Going: Foley said it best—all the pieces are there at Bound for Glroy, but that's no guarantee. That being said, TNA has always come through before in BFG's past (begging the question of why they don't always), so I'm fairly confident. Aside from the Kip James match I mean—Lethal, Dutt, Williams, and The Motor City Machine Guns have to appear in a Steel Asylum while Kip gets to be opposite Rhino? I do not get that booking logic. In any event, they have a pretty well-structured card, with two fairly clearly delineated main events. I usually prefer four or five for these sorts of shows, but AJ vs. Booker vs. Cage should come close enough to make up the difference, and the Asylum and Monster's Ball should both have plenty of the typical TNA mindless action. This isn't the best card they could have put together, but it's a lot closer to that than the worst.
Star of the Night: Kurt Angle. No one really stood out tonight, so Kurt gets it for his great smirk-of-evil after his showdown with Jarrett.
Overall: This was not an especially great show, and certainly not a momentum builder leading into BFG. They spent an absurd amount of time building up a match featuring Kip James, then just announced the triple threat with AJ, Cage, and Booker. The counterpoint with the two handshakes was somewhat nicely done, though I would have preferred one end without either violence or other sorts of jerkiness. C+
Daniel is a graduate student at The Ohio State University. He will have to watch a replay of BFG, so people should most definitely not say anything about results anywhere near him. Non-BFG related inquiries can be sent to email@example.com
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