TV REPORTS KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT 2/22: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Elimination Chamber PPV fallout
Feb 22, 2010 - 10:34:16 PM
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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
FEBRUARY 22, 2010
INDIANAPOLIS, IND. AT CONSECO FIELDHOUSE
AIRED LIVE ON USA NETWORK
-The Raw opening aired. Then clips aired of the previous night's Elimination Chamber with a focus on the two WWE Title changes, plus Shawn Michaels interfering to cost Undertaker his title.
-Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduced the show and hyped the guest hosts, celebrity couple Jewel and Ty Murray.
-Chris Jericho walked out and with a big smile, declared, "I'm going to WrestleMania!" He said ever since he was assaulted and attacked by Mike Tyson a month ago, he said he would never return to Raw again "even though I am the most valuable performer in this company and the true face of the WWE." The crowd booed. He said he changed his mind because he beat five of the top Superstars on Smackdown including The Undertaker. He made a Miz face, then bragged that he beat Taker two times in a row. He said as a result, he's the World Heavyweight Champion. Edge's music then played. Edge surprised Jericho from behind with a spear. He then yelled, "You're going to WrestleMania against me!"
-As Lawler and Cole recapped what happened John Cena came out to his music. He looked distressed. He paced in the ring, then said he should be celebrating tonight, but instead he's mad as hell. Cena said he wants his rematch and he wants it right now. Cena glared toward the entrance stage. Vince McMahon strutted out to his music. Lawler said McMahon is very proud of himself. He said he's all about business, and he made a business deal with Batista. He said he didn't want to soil his well-manicured hands on that "broken down accident prone has-been Bret Hart." He said Bret is in Calgary, Alberta with his ankle propped up, thoroughly humiliated. He thanked Batista. He said in exchange, he told Batista he could have a championship match anytime. McMahon said it wasn't personal, it was just business. He reminded Cena that he told Batista, "If want some, come get some." He said Batista got him some and became WWE Champion. Cena said he hired a mercenary and paid him off with the WWE Title but tonight he's taking it back. McMahon said Batista will not be defending the title until he gets to WrestleMania.
McMahon reminded Cena that Sheamus has a rematch clause in his contract, too. He wonodered aloud who deserves the rematch with Batista at WrestleMania. The fans chanted Cena. The deep-voiced fans booed. He said if Cena wins tonight, he can get the rematch against Batista. If if not, Cena will be in a skybox or in the locker room. Cena told him to shut up and tell him who his opponent is. McMahon dramatically paused and then said, "Batista." Cole said there's no way Cena is 100 percent after all he endured last night. Cena paused and looked concerned with the challenge before him. Quite a newsworthy first segment.
-WWE Fact: Fans from all 50 states and 24 countries have purchased tickets to WrestleMania.
1 -- MARYSE vs. GAIL KIM -- Divas Tournament Finals
Cole explained that Vickie Guerrero delayed this from happening last night, so it's happening tonight on Raw instead. Lawler: "If a man were to ever love Maryse as much as she loves herself, it'd be the greatest romance in history. She is so in love with herself." Strange match. It seemed Maryse was selling a broken ear drug injury, then a nose injury, and then a concussion, all to lure Kim into a false sense of security. Then she surprised Kim by dropping her over the top rope and DDTing her. But when she made the cover, she rolled off of Kim before the third count. Anyway, not sure what in the heck was going on, but Maryse won in a ridiculously short match.
WINNER: Maryse in 2:00 to capture the Divas Title. Seriously, if you can't commit to five minutes - a mere five minutes - of a tournament final for the title, then just get rid of the women's division. [c]
-The Bella Twins were chatting up the Bull Rider guy as Kelly Kelly and Eve chatted with Jewel, who had an ankle injury from riding a mechanical bull. Jillian walked in and told Jewel that people tell her she sings her song better than she does. Jillian began singing. Jewel told her she's great, but then sang it herself. Jillian laughed and asked if she was trying to show her up. Jillian said, "This isn't the Grammys, this is Raw, and if you don't show me respect, I'm going to send you back to living in your car." Jewel laughed and said she may take the advice of her good friend Sharon Osbourne. She then slapped Jillian. Jillian cried, "Why does everyone slap me!?"
-Cody Rhodes told Randy Orton that he knew Ted DiBiase would betray him. He said when he threw him the steel pipe, he intended for him to use it and go to WrestleMania. Cody said DiBiase was talking about wanting to win the Chamber and go to headline WrestleMania the same year his father was inducted into the Hall of Fame. Orton told Cody if anyone was at fault for what happened last night, it's him. He said he taught Rhodes and DiBiase too well. He said he hasn't been the leader he should be. He said in the last year and a half, when he hasn't gotten his way, he's bullied them. He said they've come way too far to fall apart now, so he wants to show everyone they are a cohesive unit. He told Cody to tell Ted that he's sorry. He walked away. Rhodes seemed unsure how to deal with that. DiBiase walked up behind Rhodes and asked him how it went. Rhodes said, "It went really well. Yeah, almost too well." DiBiase asked if they were sticking to the plan. Rhodes said, "Absolutely." At least, two feet from the camera, DiBiase didn't reveal what that plan is. But Orton's going to be might curious if anyone tells him what everyone in the the arena and on TV just watched live. [c]
2 -- TED DIBIASE & CODY RHODES & RANDY ORTON vs. YOSHI TATSU & KOFI KINGSTON & EVAN BOURNE
Lawler said if you're watching Tatsu for the first time, you're in for quite a treat. Cole said Yatsu practices the "Japanese strong style with kicks and punches." With Cody on offense against Bourne, they cut to a break. [c]
After a hot tag to Kingston, Rhodes interfered from behind and stopped Kofi's momentum. Orton tagged back in and worked over Kingston at 7:00. Cody patted Orton on the hip as a soft tag into the ring. As he entered the ring, Orton DDT'dhim. DiBiase got in Orton's face and demanded to know what his problem is. Orton gave him an RKO on the floor. Kofi hot-tagged Tatsu into the ring. He nailed Cody with a roundkick to the chest, then tagged in Bourne who hit his shooting star press for the win.
WINNER: Bourne & Tatsu & Kingston in 10:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2
-Cole plugged the Cena vs. Batista main event. Lawler said Michaels will be present to explain his actions last night against Undertaker. He wondered if Undertaker would be present, too. [c]
-They showed the exterior of the Conseco Fieldhouse. Then Cole threw to the announcement Triple H made at the Slammys that Michaels-Undertaker was the 2009 Match of the Year. It continued through the storyline including Michaels coming up through the platform in the Chamber last night.
-Michaels made his ring entrance. Lawler said the fans have reacted with mixed emotions to his arrival after his actions last night. Lawler said he's anxious to hear his explanation. "My explanation for my actions last night isn't really all that complicated. I did what I had to do. I did what I needed to do," he said. He said he can live with the disapproval of some of the fans. He said he heard rumors that Taker may be present tonight. He said for every action there must be a reaction. "I'm not hoping for a reaction, I'm counting on it," he said.
Undertaker's music played. Taker walked to the ring, but no fireballs shooting up from the floor today. Those started long after he was off the stage and almost to the ring. Still, it had to be a little eerie for him to walk past that part of the stage just 24 hours after last night's incident. Taker walked into the ring and faced Michaels. "You wanted my attention," he said. "Now you have it." Michaels told Taker that last year people said they had the greatest match in WrestleMania history. "Some people even said it was the greatest match ever. As flattering as that is, you have to understand I wrestled a perfect match, I wrestled nearly a perfect match. I made one mistake and it cost me everything. You, better than anybody, should understand that's something I cannot live with." He said he begged Taker for a rematch, but he refused and ignored him. The crowds began the "What?" chant. Lame. It should be legal to punch people who still do that, especially during a moment like this.
Michaels said he knows Taker is angry at him and can't wait to get his hands on him. He said that's okay with him. He told Taker to agree to face him at WrestleMania so he can get his revenge. Taker said, "You're on. I accept." Talk about rewarding bad behavior. As Michaels left the ring, Taker added, "On one condition." Michaels turned back to Taker. Taker said, "This year you have to put up something as well. Your soul. This year if you defeat me, you end The Streak. But if I beat you, your career is over." Michaels blinked a few times. Taker said, "That's it Shawn. The Streak vs. Your Career." That's not exactly his soul, but whatever. TNA fans are excited. Michaels said, "You don't get it. If I can't beat you at WrestleMania, I have no career. You're on." Not much of a pop for the official confirmation of one of the biggest matches ever between two all-time greats with major stips.
-Cole plugged Batista vs. Cena again. Lawler said Christian has officially signed with Raw and he's going to participate in the first Money in the Bank qualifier. [c]
-Cole and Lawler reacted to the Taker-Michaels news. Lawler said it might be the biggest WrestleMania match ever.
3 -- CHRISTIAN vs. CARLITO
An inset soundbite aired with Heath Slater, Christian's protege on WWE NXT. He called himself a One Man Rock Band. He talks with that nasal-inflection reminiscent of the disgraced former presidential candidate, John Edwards. As Carlito came out, they showed an inset soundbite with Michael Tarver. He said he's the son of a preacher and prize fighter. He said in 1.9 seconds, he will have you eating through a straw as he held up his fist. He said the other NXT rookies are in danger when he's around.
As the match began, Cole reviewed the rules of the Elimination Chamber. Christian dominated almost the entire match and won clean with his finisher.
WINNER: Christian with the Kill Switch in 3:00.
-They showed the mechanical bucking bronco off to the side of the entrance stage. They Divas will be bull riding next. [c]
-Jewel and Ty Murray walked out. Jewel said WWE is a "macho sport" and so is bullriding. She said she wanted to bring the Divas into this. Out came Eve Torres first. She lasted eight seconds. Then Kelly Kelly came out. Nikki and Bri Bella walked out. Murray had them ride double. Lawler, in the opposite of the shock of the year, liked that idea. This might be more ridiculous than last week's Jerry Springer segment, though. Miz and Big Show might have agreed. Miz walked out and asked, "This is what this show has devolved to? What's next Jewel, a yodeling competition." Jewel said she's good at that. She gave a sample. Show said riding a bull isn't hard. Anyone can do it. Murray said he bets he can't do it as well as the Divas did it.
Show said he's the world's biggest athlete. "I'd smoke them divas," said Show. Show had trouble getting on it, and then was tossed off short of eight seconds. Miz said that wasn't fair. He claimed the bull was set faster than when the women were on it. Show looked upset, so Miz told him not to let it get into his head. Murray said, "He's taunting you." The bull did appear to be taunting him. Show got into a yelling contest with the bull. Show punched the bull. "That was stuffed animal cruelty," said Jewel. Miz said that was just another guest cohost segment ending with severe disappointment, just like the Colts in the Super Bowl. Murray fired back with the news that they'd have to now defend their tag team titles against MVP & Mark Henry next. Cole reminded viewers that MVP & Henry beat them in a non-title match last week. [c]
4 -- THE MIZ & BIG SHOW vs. MVP & MARK HENRY -- Unified Tag Team Title Match
During Mix & Show's ring entrance, they showed Daniel Bryan watching on the monitor backstage. He has grown out his hair and wore a suit. He looked younger and more like a Wall Street intern than an "indy pro wrestling sensation." They showed a clip of Show shoving Henry through the ringside barrier at the PPV. Cole said the Internet was upset that Miz would be mentoring Bryan, given all of Bryan's experience before getting to WWE. Cole read Miz's blog where he said he's going to turn the bland Bryan into a star.At 2:00 Henry caught Miz in mid-air and powerslammed him, but Show was legal and he KO punched Henry and scored the pin.
WINNERS: Miz & Big Show in 3:00 to retain the Unified Tag Titles.
-A video package hyped the replay of the Elimination Chamber PPV.
-Cole and Lawler threw to a video announcement that Wendi Richter would be inducted this year. A video package aired on the Richter vs. Fabulous Moolah feud including the record setting MTV rating for Richter's win. The narrator said it launched the "Rock & Wrestling Connection" which launched WWE into the mainstream culture like never before. They showed her on the cover of Pro Wrestling Illustrated. Lawler said Roddy Piper would induct her since he was part of that "Rock & Wrestling Connection."
-Cole said Bret Hart's personal physician told them that he suffered ligament and tendon damage. Lawler said they hate to see Bret go out of WWE this way. They went to a video package on the angle.
-Vince McMahon addressed the camera. He said he really was considering facing Bret at WrestleMania. He said he had nothing to do with that accident last week, yet he has enjoyed some of the humility he enjoyed lately. He invited him to show up next week for a proper farewell. He said he'd provide an ambulance to get him to the arena and a wheelchair to get him to the ring. He said he would provide hydraulics to get him into the ring. He will do whatever it takes to give him a proper sendoff. [c]
-Lawler announced that Bret Hart has agreed to return next week for a proper farewell. The co-hosts will be "Cheech & Chong." Lawler chuckled, then announced Orton vs. DiBiase next week.
5 -- JOHN CENA vs. BATISTA -- WrestleMania Title Shot at Stake for Cena
Cena came out first and looked ready for battle. Batista iced Cena for ten seconds before his music began. Then he came out, happy to be wearing the belt. Batista took a very long time strolling to the ring. The announcers said it was mind games. Batista then gave Cena a kick between his legs a minute into the match. That meant Cena won and would get the title shot at WrestleMania. Batista sarcastically applauded over a fallen Cena. Lawler said he doesn't get it. Batista's heel look is really good, with the beard and black elbowpads and overall body language.
WINNER: Cena via DQ in under 1:00.
-Batista stomped away at Cena after the bell. He then smiled and left the ring. Then he came back and beat Cena up at ringside, throwing him into the ringpost and hitting him twice across the back with a chair. Nothing was lost from the angle not including a stiff unprotected chairshot to Cena's skull. I think at least one company finally got the message on those.
FINAL THOUGHTS (7.0): Newsworthy show. It'll take a day to digest everything and try to make sense of it. Not a blockbuster show, in part because the wrestling itself was lacking, and two endings where one person sabotaged himself into losing (Orton, Batista) is probably one too many in one month, much less one show. Good individual performances from many, though, including Cena, Batista, McMahon, Michaels, Undertaker, Jericho, Orton, DiBiase, Rhodes, and some others.
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