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8/21 WWE Velocity review: Akio vs. Charlie Haas, Booker T vs. Shannon Moore, and more

Aug 22, 2004 - 3:05:00 AM

Mike Roe, Torch Team Contributor

WWE Velocity review
August 21, 2004
Taped 8/17/04
Aired on Spike TV
Report by Mike Roe,'s second favorite Velocity reviewer

Hello, true believers! It's your friendly neighborhood Velocity reporter, ready to take you down the road that is Velocity! Excelsior!


OK, before Velocity started, I flipped over to Spike TV and it looked like they were playing a really, really bad King Arthur movie. Yay for not watching non-wrestling/Joe Schmo programming on Spike TV! Anyways, intro. Pyro. You know the drill.

(1) Charlie Haas (with Miss Jackie) defeated Akio at 5:14.

Pre-Match Analysis: Holy crap! It's Akio! Isn't he supposed to be in OVW or something? Anyways, thank God that Akio is back on Velocity, and... wait, can it be? He's taking on one half of the former World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas! I think he's part of the "World's Greatest Dance Team" now, since he always dips Miss Jackie when they're coming out. Maybe "World's Greatest Swing Dancers?" Anyways, this match looks hype. I can't wait! Charlie also had on some sweet silver tights. Bill DeMott made the point on commentary that Charlie Haas used to be very serious, refusing to walk the runway with Rico, etc. However, ever since losing the tag team championship, he has let loose, has Miss Jackie with him, etc.. Good point, Bill!

Match Analysis: Akio threw a roundhouse kick to the air to freak out Haas. Josh Matthews put over the contrasting styles, with the high-flying Akio and the mat-based Haas. Haas looked to be going for some amateur moves, but Akio asked for a handshake. The crowd told him not to, and they were right, as Akio went for a kick during the handshake, but Haas caught his foot, took Akio down and took him to the ropes for the break. Akio shoved Haas, but Haas shoved even harder back, taking control. Haas shoved Akio's head into the turnbuckle before moving into a standing arm submission. Akio tried flipping out, but Haas rolled through, maintaining the hold. Akio went for a punch, but Haas continued the work on the arm, wrenching it and twisting it. Akio Irish whipped Haas and went for the armdrag, but Haas countered and hit an an armdrag of his own, followed by a monkey flip out of the corner for a cover and a two count. Haas hooked the arm for another submission, throwing him into the corner, sending Akio to the mat. Haas went for the top rope and jumped off, but Akio kicked Haas as he came off the ropes, taking Haas down. On the mat, Akio put a submission on Haas's left leg, a unique submission that was in a body leg scissors position. Haas got out of the hold, but Akio kept up the work on the left leg. Akio repeatedly slammed Haas's knee to the mat, followed by kicking the back of the knee. Haas tried to stand up while Akio kept up the assault. Both men began to exchange blows as Haas moved to his feet. Akio went for a spinning leg lariat, but Haas ducked to begin his comeback, hitting a pair of clotheslines, followed by a backdrop. Haas hit a shoulder thrust in the corner into the gut of Akio. Haas followed up with an exploder suplex. Haas with a go behind, went for a German suplex, but Akio landed on his feet, hitting a dropkick to Haas to send him in the corner, followed by a spinning leg lariat and a missile dropkick. Akio covered, but Haas kicked out at two, and the crowd was going insane. Love that! Akio went for Haas, but Haas sidestepped. Haas went to the top rope and hit a high crossbody on Akio into the pin cover for the three count!

Match Grade: A-. Really good work from both men. As Bill DeMott pointed out, Haas has started to expand his repertoire, and Akio truly is one of the best cruiserweights WWE has. The crowd was really hot at the end of this match. I don't know if it was crowd sweetening or people appreciating a good match, but either way, it definitely added a sense of excitement often missing from Velocity matches.

Tonight: Booker T versus Shannon all-that-and Moore!

Still to come: Kurt Angle and his assistant, Luther Reigns, teamed up to take on Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio. Hmm, which of these four is out of place? If you guessed "Luther Reigns," you are correct, sir!

Promo time: John Cena still wants you to vote, or else you ain't a playa, or some such hood talk.

Commercial break: Well, if you like CSI, you should be happy, because Spike is going to be putting two episodes of the show on per night starting September 8th. Yeah, Spike, try heavily promoting a show that goes up directly against wrestling on a wrestling program. That's smart.

Promo time: Tough Enough is back baby, and this time it's for a million bucks! No, it's no longer its own show, but it will be part of Smackdown this fall. It also happens to be a million times better idea than the Raw Diva Search.

(2) Mark Jindrak defeated Wavell Starr at 3:02.

Pre-Match Analysis: Mark Jindrak made his way to the ring, taking on yet another star of the indy scene. Or, at least, someone who WWE thinks is good enough to lose on television. Jindrak walked in and posed for the mirror as usual, though I still miss the Teddy Long promos letting us know about Jindrak's greatness. I wonder if Jindrak really poses like that in front of his mirror at home? Probably not, but I bet Randy Orton does. Wavell Starr was wearing boots with fringe on them, Native American style. He actually had kind of a Steven Segal look going.

Match Analysis: Jindrak and Starr locked up. Jindrak took Starr into the corner and went for a clothesline, but Starr ducked and hit an armdrag. Starr put Jindrak in a side headlock, but Jindrak got out by throwing Starr into the turnbuckle. Jindrak stomped a mudhole in Starr in the corner, choking Starr with his boot until the ref called for the break. Jindrak continued his work in another corner, before Irish whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle. Jindrak hit a series of elbow drops across Starr's chest in the center of the ring. Jindrak Irish whipped Starr, but Starr rolled through into the sunset flip for a pin cover. Jindrak kicked out and absolutely leveled Starr. Jindrak taunted the crowd as Starr tried to stand up. Jindrak went for a dropkick, but Starr had caught the ropes and wasn't there when Jindrak expected him. Starr hit a series of rights and lefts before sending Jindrak into the corner and hitting a series of knife-edge chops as part of a brief comeback. Starr was coming out of the corner, but Jindrak caught him and hit the Mark of Excellence for the cover and the victory. Jindrak stood up on the ropes after the match and posed for the crowd.

Match Grade: C. Really, nothing special at all from this match. Just average all the way. It wasn't a total squash, as Starr did have some nice offense, but he's no Pokerface. Mark Jindrak really needs something to spark him to move to the next level in his work. They need to give him the Randy Orton treatment and let him wrestle talented veterans who can elevate him instead of letting him wrestle squash matches every week.

Up Next: JBL's sweet promo from Smackdown, including the best injury gear I've ever seen.

Promo time: The never-ending Raw Diva Search continues on Raw this Monday. Watch it to see Carmela get kicked out faster than you can say "whore."

Commercial break: A new golf game is out, called Hot Shots Fore! Get it? Fore? Get it? I know you do! And hey, advertising golf games during a wrestling show? Sure, because we all know how perfectly those demographics match up! Great.

Promo time: A local promo for Raw coming to Seattle baby! I won't be there. Instead, I'm going to Unforgiven in Portland. I can't wait to rush the ring during Molly's match!

Josh informed us that JBL fulfilled his guarantee to beat the Undertaker at SummerSlam (albeit through disqualification), but Taker took him out after the match, chokeslamming JBL through the roof of his own limousine.

Smackdown last Thursday: JBL gave a promo on Smackdown this week with a very elaborate body brace, including a halo protecting his head and neck. The best part was that he had his white cowboy hat on top, several inches above his head. That's fantastic! For those who missed it, I'm including the portion of the promo that aired on Velocity in the Veloci-quotes! It was in Canada, so JBL made some cutting comments about the Canadians. They didn't show the first third or so of the promo on Velocity, but it included a really great bad joke from JBL. He laughed weakly, as if every chuckle was putting him in more pain. Good stuff. Orlando Jordan was in the ring attending to JBL as JBL also had some strong words for Taker, telling him that he will never get a rematch, as well as guaranteeing that Taker will never be WWE Champion again. However, just as JBL thought he was safe, the O.D. (Original Deadman, as Tazz called him) started making his way to the ring. JBL didn't know that Taker was going to be there, and he looked about ready to crap his pants. JBL tried to make his way out of the ring, and OJ helped him to get out. Taker moved as slow as molasses, though, as he apparently didn't really care about getting JBL, but just wanted to hear his "mind numbing" (copyright Michael Cole) music. JBL and OJ made their way out through the crowd, including JBL falling on a fan and taking both of them to the floor.

Tonight: Booker T versus Shannon Moore baby! I can't wait. It sounds Mooretastic! And Shannon Moore is way hotter... er, I mean, um, more entertaining than that Michael Moore guy. Wait, was that a homoerotic moment? Thanks, Celian Varini!

Promo time: Kane and Lita kindly invite you to their nuptials this Monday night on Raw! I'm sure this will be a lovely ceremony, with absolutely nothing going wrong at all. At all. Surely, Shawn Michaels and Matt Hardy will stay far, far away, or perhaps buy Kane and Lita some nice dishes, or an ice cream scoop.

Commercial break: A great commercial aired for Nintendo GameCube with some sweet looking games. I can't wait for Metroid Prime 2. And a new James Bond game? Fantastic!

WWE Rewind: Spike Dudley hit the Dudley Dog on Scotty 2 Hotty to retain his title, followed by a beating by Spike and his brothers on poor wittle Scotty.

(3) Billy Gunn defeated Doug Basham (with Danny Basham) at 4:33.

Pre-Match Analysis: It's the ass man! And no Hardcore Holly! He must be busy beating up some wrestling trainee to prepare for the new season of Tough Enough. Gunn is in the green tights that we've all come to know and love. The Basham Brothers made their way out next, the next chapter in their never-ending feud with Hardcore and Billy.

Match Analysis: Doug stuck his finger in Gunn's face. They locked up, and Gunn took Doug to the corner, but Doug reversed out, taking the action back to the center of the ring. They broke, but locked up again as Doug took Gunn back to a corner. Doug went for a clothesline, but Gunn ducked. Gunn looked to be going for a test of strength, which Doug accepted. Gunn seemed to have the advantage, before kicking Doug in the chest. Isn't that a heel move? Doug rolled to the outside. Gunn ran after Doug around the ring, but Danny hid behind the side of the ring at one of the corners, hitting a big clothesline on Gunn. Doug threw Gunn back into the ring, moving to the corner for punches on the second rope. Doug followed up with a big chop before taunting the crowd. Gunn and Doug traded punches before Doug hit a neckbreaker into a cover for two. Doug slapped on a side headlock on the ground. Gunn's arm was bleeding. Gunn started to move to a vertical base. Doug hit Gunn with a clubbing blow to the back, followed by a bearhug in the corner. Gunn hit a boot to Doug, followed by a headbutt out of the corner, sending both men down. Danny cheered on his brother from the outside. The referee began the ten count, with both superstars back to their feet at the eight count. Doug and Gunn traded punches, but Gunn took control, hitting a series of clotheslines. Gunn went for the splash, but Doug reversed. Gunn went for the One and Only, but Doug countered and hit a modified stunner. Danny tried to switch in for Doug, but Gunn sent Danny back to the outside and hit the Crash Landing on Doug. Gunn went into the cover for the three count.

Bill DeMott's Turning Point: Danny Basham tried interfering in the match, but first got stopped by the referee before being thrown to the outside by Billy Gunn.

Match Grade: C. Eh, not much special from these guys. The highlight of the match was Billy Gunn using the Crash Landing (aka the Styles Clash) for the second week in a row. Despite them using his name, there was no mention of how this move was named for the late Crash Holly. One good move, however, does not a good match make.

Josh ran down the info for the million dollar Tough Enough challenge. So, if you're a lover of steroids, sounds like you've got your future planned out for you! They also used Maven's sweet theme music during this promo. Love that!

Up Next: The highlights of that Guerrero/Mysterio versus Angle/Reigns tag match.

Promo time: Chris Benoit's DVD is out, available everywhere. I love how goofy Benoit looks with the mask on back in the Pegasus Kid days. Good stuff.

Promo time: Raw Diva Search. Please watch it, or WWE will start promoting it even more. Please, God, no.

Commercial break: Wait, I swear that one of the moms from the O.C. was in that CSI commercial. Maybe I should watch that show...

WWE Rewind: Wait, didn't they already have the WWE Rewind tonight? OK, whatever. Anyways, Eddie Guerrero suckered Kurt Angle into shaking his hand, but like a classic heel, Eddie turned the handshake into a clothesline, as part of his lying, cheating, and stealing. Luther Reigns ran in to take Eddie down while Kurt came from the other side, but Rey Mysterio ran in to even up the odds.

Smackdown last Thursday: This match was actually pretty good. Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns took on Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero, and Reigns actually did a pretty decent job in the ring. Fun fact: Luther Reigns was "Inspector Impact" back in OVW. No, I am not kidding. Priceless! The ref went down at one point, allowing Kurt Angle to hit a chair to Rey Mysterio's knee as he tried to hit the 619. Kurt Angle pulled the straps down and went for the ankle lock, but Guerrero ran after Kurt with the steel chair, chasing Angle to the back. Guerrero followed up by hitting a low blow on Luther Reigns, allowing Guerrero to tag in and hit the Three Amigos, Rey hit the 619, and Eddie delivered the Five Star Frog Splash for the victory, since Kurt Angle was nowhere to be seen. However, after the match, Kurt Angle ran out and poured paint on "Eddie's" low rider. Does anyone really believe that Eddie owns any of these low riders? And it was white paint, too. Not, like, pink paint, or perhaps puke green paint, or something that might actually look really bad. Tazz tried to claim that it was fifteen thousand dollar metal flake paint. I hope that Eddie had the rental insurance. However, Eddie seemed to be totally insane after the match, yelling that it was "his" car. Yeah, that makes sense, since these shows are all around the country. I'm sure he has a new car flown out for him every week. OK, deep breaths. Must remember to turn brain off while watching nonsensical storylines.

Up Next: Booker T and Shannon go mano a mano. Meanwhile, Shannon wishes that he had kept following Mattitude.

Commercial break: Jessica Simpson is apparently ticklish in her groin. That's pretty hot. Anyways, you can learn this and other fun facts as part of the Maxim 100 special, which is on tonight, but will surely be repeated about five kaguillion times. Unlike Joe Schmo 2, which I was addicted to, went on vacation, missed the season finale, and now can never see it again thanks to the morons in the Spike TV programming department. Fantastic.

Back from break, Josh thanked all the fans who watched Summerslam. You're welcome, Josh!

(4) Booker T defeated Shannon Moore at 3:18.

Pre-Match Analysis: Booker T made his way to the ring. I swear, his intro still looks weird as a part of Smackdown rather than Raw. Josh and Bill reminded everyone that Booker was down one match to John Cena in the best of five series. Moore stumbled out from the back. Well, that's what it looked like. Like he was just sobering up and somebody shoved him out onto the stage. Moore ran down to the ring and stood up in the corner, pointing to the crowd and bouncing to the music. It's good, but it's nothing like the classic Billy Kidman music. Oh, the memories.

Match Analysis: Moore got an early schoolboy for a quick cover. Moore mocked Booker afterwards, looking at his hand, but Booker hit a big boot to Moore, followed by a clothesline. Booker kept the offense up into a cover. Moore hit a springboard high crossbody to Booker into a lateral press for a cover. The action was fast and furious as Booker hit a spinebuster, taking Moore down. The crowd chanted loudly for Cena. Booker looked a little miffed. Booker hit a roundhouse to Moore's face. Booker went for another cover, but Moore kicked out. Booker locked on a side headlock on his knees. Moore started to move to a vertical base, punching his way out. Booker hit a knee lift to maintain his control, followed by a sidewalk slam. Booker stared at his hand, looked to the crowd and went for his signature knee drop, but Moore rolled out of the way. Moore went on offense, hitting a series of elbows. Moore was going for a DDT and let out his Matt Hardy-like scream, but Booker reversed. Moore went up top for the corkscrew moonsault, but Booker dodged it and hit the scissors kick for the pinfall victory.

Match Grade: B-. The highlights of this match were Moore's brief spots of offense and Booker's reaction to the Cena chants. Other than that, pretty much a squash. Shannon Moore is capable of so much more, and it's sad that he doesn't get the chance to exercise his talents. Booker T doesn't seem to have a real fire anymore, and I hope they put him in a feud that can bring that out of him in the near future, once he's done with John Cena.

This week: John Cena vs. Booka T, match two in the best of five series, sucka! Also this week, John Heidenreich (Heidenreich!) will be making his Smackdown debut, with Paul Heyman at his side. I can't wait!

Final Show Grade: B-. Not a great episode of Velocity. The real highlight of this show was the opener with the returning Akio taking on Charlie Haas, which was a really great match. It was mostly downhill after that, with not just one but two squash matches, along with another part of a Velocity feud with no storyline support. Hopefully they can have more matches like that first one next week, along with a main event that is actually competitive and/or has some storyline support.


Veloci-Quotes... Version One-uhhh!

On Charlie Haas and Miss Jackie dancing during their entrance:
Josh Matthews: That's a nice little dance. What would you call that, Bill?
Bill DeMott: A man who shouldn't be dancing! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Matthews: Just keep that camera on Miss Jackie. You gotta love Miss Jackie!
DeMott: What do you think happened to Charlie Haas after losing that tag team championship that he's kept this woman around? He's changed!
Matthews:I don't think Charlie Haas cares as long as he's walking around with Miss Jackie.
DeMott: Well, before he wouldn't dance with Rico, he wouldn't even walk the, walk the uh, runway, everything else, now he's doing this thing, the this, the that, he's got the metrosexual haircut going on.
Matthews: (Spit take)
DeMott: I mean, what's going on here?
Matthews: It's just funny hearing you say "metrosexual."
DeMott: I'm hip like that now. I've been around long enough.
Matthews: I know you are.
- Metrosexual reference of the week! And at the beginning of the show! I can tell this is going to be a great Veloci-quotes.

Bill DeMott: How confident do you think Akio is, coming to the ring in dress pants?
- Good point, Bill. What's up with that? Well, I guess that's what makes Akio so classy.

On Akio's offense:
Josh Matthews: Akio like a pitbull. The pitbull's really popular in Japan.
Bill DeMott: Oh, see, now you're going to go there.
Matthews: Well it is popular! Have you ever been-- You've been to Japan, many times.
DeMott: I've been to Japan, I've never been to Ping Pong.
Matthews: No, I said pitbull!
DeMott: Ping Pong!
- What? I have no idea what just went on, but that's the best I can figure out what was happening.

After a spinning leg lariat from Akio to Charlie Haas's face:
Bill DeMott: What do you think broke first, his shin or his nose?
- I'll go with the nose. Ow. Hurricane feels his pain.

Bill DeMott: You know, seeing Mark Jindrak without the Cape of Conceit is like seeing Superman without the S on his chest.
Josh Matthews: Mark Jindrak thinks he has an S on his chest.
DeMott: Yeah, but what's it stand for? (Laughs) Get it? What's it stand for?
Matthews: I got it, I got it, I got it Bill. (Sarcastically) I thought it was real funny.
DeMott: Thanks a lot, appreciate it.
- The Cape of Conceit! Fear it!

Josh Matthews: You know, Bill, with Tough Enough coming back, you know, it brings back a lot of memories for you and I. You were part of Tough Enough.
Bill DeMott: Yeah, so were you. What memories bring back a million dollars?
Matthews: (Bashfully) I don't have any memories of a million dollars.
DeMott: OK, there you go. Too bad you weren't on my season.
Matthews: Too bad I wasn't.
DeMott: You know, the tough season.
Matthews: I think some people would disagree with that statement.
DeMott: Yeah, I bet everybody in the Bahamas would have disagreed with it.
Matthews: You guys went to South Africa!
DeMott: We went to Iceland!
Matthews: That's close enough, right?
DeMott: That's like being on Mars! And I didn't get a million dollars at the end of the season! I'm mad!
- And that's a shoot, brotha!

After Bill DeMott says Mark Jindrak is mad:
Josh Matthews: I don't think Mark Jindrak's mad, because Mark Jindrak's boy, Theodore Long, is the general manager of Smackdown.
Bill DeMott: Can you say that?
- Yeah, whitey! Some people...

On Mark Jindrak's opportunities with Theodore Long, his ex-manager, as General Manager:
Josh Matthews: The sky, literally, is the limit for Mark Jindrak.
Bill DeMott: Well, lot of good it's doing him so far.
Matthews: What, he's in the ring with Wavell Starr, here on, here on Velocity!
- It was just so sad and pathetic to hear Josh Matthews trying to put over this as some sort of major step for Mark Jindrak.

On Mark Jindrak versus Wavell Starr:
Bill DeMott: ... he's barely holding his own! Wavell Starr is in command!
Josh Matthews: Wavell Starr just got shot into the turnbuckle and is out!
DeMott: Ohhh, you see it different.
Matthews: We're watching the same match!
DeMott: This Tough Enough thing's throwing me off.
Matthews: It's the Million Dollar Tough Enough.
DeMott: It's not even Tough Enough 4! It's the Million Dollar Tough Enough!
- If they don't involve Bill DeMott in the new season of Tough Enough, they're fools.

Josh Matthews: Down goes Tatanka, excuse me, Wavell Starr!
Bill DeMott: Tatanka?! You're comparing Tatanka to Wavell Starr? Now I have to go through, look, go through, my WrestleMania 20 cards, find Tatanka, and apologize.
Matthews: Hey, Bill DeMott's got his own WrestleMania 20 card!
DeMott: Yeah, and it's not next to Wavell Starr! Great athlete, but-- not Tatanka.
- Tatanka?! That was simply perfect. It's Tatanka: The Next Generation!

On Wavell Starr's offense:
Josh Matthews: Wavell Starr just trying to climb the tree that is Mark Jindrak!
Bill DeMott: That's like an innuendo, isn't it?
Matthews: No.
DeMott: Climbing the tree?
Matthews: No, there's no innuendo at all.
DeMott: Oh.
- That was pretty gay. Here, let me grab my innuendo dictionary... Let's see... climbing the tree? Nope, no listing.

On his SummerSlam battle with Undertaker:
John Bradshaw Layfield: Look at what he's done to me! Orlando, would you help me with my jacket, please? (Crowd chants "Ta-ker".) Every inch of my body is wracked with pain. Every piece of me hurts. My bone aches. Every second I am awake is a second full of pain and anguish, all because of the Undertaker. Well, just like the United States of America-- (Crowd boos.) You people quit booing us, we're the ones who protect you. (Crowd boos louder.) You may be our weaker sister, but we're always there for you. I stood up to evil, and I will always do that, so I can promise you this, Undertaker, so you listen to me, you listen to me close: You will not, you will not ever, ever get a rematch. You will get what you deserve, and that is nothing. You can break my bones, but you can't break my spirit, Undertaker. Just like I guaranteed victory at SummerSlam, I guarantee that you will never become WWE Champion again. I am a fighter, I am a soldier, I am an American, (Crowd boos.) and I am your WWE Champion. Thank you, and God bless America. (The gong hits, JBL turns to Orlando Jordan.) You said he wasn't here! You said he wasn't here!
- JBL: Best promo man in the biz. There, I said it. Oh it's true! It's damn true!

On the Bashams and the Dudleys teaming together unfairly:
Josh Matthews: It's nepotism!
Bill DeMott: First of all, I don't talk like that on Saturday nights.
- I think Bill's thinking of necrophilia. No, Bill, that's not the Dudleys and the Bashams, that's Triple H.

On John Cena getting jumped by the Dudleys while doing an interview with Josh Matthews:
Bill DeMott: And by the way, during that interview, why didn't you help Cena? You saw Cena in trouble--
Josh Matthews: I got a phone call, right as they got there--
DeMott: Exactly. Who was it, your brother?
Matthews: No, it wasn't!
DeMott: Everything fine, when Billy Gunn, when his brother Bart was in town, everything was fine. When Eddie Guerrero had his brother, everything was fine. And the Bashams got there-- Now, when Spike's got his brothers, it's good, Spike is Cruiserweight Champion.
Matthews: What would have happened if you were there with John Cena?
DeMott: It would have been four on one! (Laughs)
Matthews: That's nice.
DeMott: I tell you what, coming up soon, I'm bringing my brother to Velocity.
Matthews: And one DeMott is more than enough.
- A Bart Gunn reference?! Evil Bill DeMott? Another DeMott? Fantastique!

On Bill DeMott claiming that anything that happens outside the ring is fair game:
Josh Matthews: So one of the fans could just jump in there and do something?
Bill DeMott: You know what, if they feel froggy, leap.
- So when the security guards severely beat me, I'll blame it on Bill DeMott.

On Booker T's flame entrance:
Josh Matthews: I told you it was getting hot in here, Bill! (Long pause.) OK, nice talking to ya!
- Josh, it really wasn't that funny. I'm sorry. Better luck next time.

A minute later, after reading the sponsors:
Bill DeMott: I get mesmerized by those fire flames.
Josh Matthews: It's cool, right?
DeMott: No.
- Oh, snap! Josh, shot down!

On the fans, during Booker's match, cheering for John Cena:
Bill DeMott: This is why I'm saying they shouldn't let fans in the arena.
Josh Matthews: What?!
DeMott: If the fans aren't in the arena-- If there's no fans in the arena distracting Booker T, he may not have lost that first one.
Matthews: You're kidding me now, right?
DeMott: No, I'm dead serious. This is the outlook I have now.
Matthews: You don't think the fans should be in the arena?
DeMott: Let me tell ya, I don't think there should be a million dollar Tough Enough either, but that's gonna happen, so I don't think we should have fans in the arena. It distracts the opponents.
Matthews: Maybe you should tell our general manager Theodore Long that.
DeMott: What happened the last time I tried talking to him?
Matthews: He walked away.
DeMott: There ya go. At least Kurt Angle listened.
- Sounds like that Tough Enough bitterness is legit.

Josh Matthews: You should be General Manager!
Bill DeMott: Don't think I'm not gonna try!
- General Manager Bill DeMott?! Sweetness!


Thanks for tuning in, folks. Drop me a line with your thoughts, constructive criticism, or birthday wishes (this Tuesday baby!)! Until next time, do good works and remember to smile.

Mike Roe is the junior WWE Velocity reviewer for He's also a Gumgod Pledge and the president of the Dusty Giebink fan club, Dusty's Finishers. He also writes regularly on all sorts of fun stuff on his blog, Tap Out. If you have questions, comments, complaints, or just want a warm body to talk to, drop me a line at or find me on the Torch VIP forum.

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PWTorch editor Wade Keller has covered pro wrestling full time since 1987 starting with the Pro Wrestling Torch print newsletter. launched in 1999 and the PWTorch Apps launched in 2008.

He has conducted "Torch Talk" insider interviews with Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Steve Austin, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Eric Bischoff, Jesse Ventura, Lou Thesz, Jerry Lawler, Mick Foley, Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Bruno Sammartino, Goldberg, more.

He has interviewed big-name players in person incluiding Vince McMahon (at WWE Headquarters), Dana White (in Las Vegas), Eric Bischoff (at the first Nitro at Mall of America), Brock Lesnar (after his first UFC win).

He hosted the weekly Pro Wrestling Focus radio show on KFAN in the early 1990s and hosted the Ultimate Insiders DVD series distributed in retail stories internationally in the mid-2000s including interviews filmed in Los Angeles with Vince Russo & Ed Ferrara and Matt & Jeff Hardy. He currently hosts the most listened to pro wrestling audio show in the world, (the PWTorch Livecast, top ranked in iTunes)


Wade Keller, editor

James Caldwell, assistant editor

Bruce Mitchell (since 1990)
Pat McNeill (since 2001)
Greg Parks (since 2007)
Sean Radican (since 2003)

We also have a great team of
TV Reporters
and Specialists and Artists.


PWTorch offers a VIP membership for $10 a month (or less with an annual sub). It includes nearly 25 years worth of archives from our coverage of pro wrestling dating back to PWTorch Newsletters from the late-'80s filled with insider secrets from every era that are available to VIPers in digital PDF format and Keller's radio show from the early 1990s.

Also, new exclusive top-shelf content every day including a new VIP-exclusive weekly 16 page digital magazine-style (PC and iPad compatible) PDF newsletter packed with exclusive articles and news.

The following features come with a VIP membership which tens of thousands of fans worldwide have enjoyed for many years...

-New Digital PWTorch Newsletter every week
-3 New Digital PDF Back Issues from 5, 10, 20 years ago
-Over 60 new VIP Audio Shows each week
-Ad-free access to all free articles
-VIP Forum access with daily interaction with PWTorch staff and well-informed fellow wrestling fans
-Tons of archived audio and text articles
-Decades of Torch Talk insider interviews in transcript and audio formats with big name stars.


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