WWE Raw Report KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT 11/1: Orton & Truth vs. Barrett & Otunga with Cena as ref, Pee Wee Herman guest stars, Bryan vs. DiBiase
Nov 1, 2010 - 10:13:13 PM
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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
NOVEMBER 1, 2010
LIVE ON USA NETWORK
-The show opened with Randy Orton walking to the ring to his intro music. I miss the mood-setting opening song and pyro every week they skimp on it. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduced the show and recapped the Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett title match stip with John Cena as special referee.
-Orton entered the ring to his polite reception holding his world title. He said he doesn't think there's a man alive who can take the WWE Title from him, but if someone did, he wouldn't be happy about it, but he would accept it. He said what he can't accept is if he lost it due to a crooked referee, especially if that crooked referee happened to be Cena. He asked Cena to come to the ring because if he's going to screw him over at Survivor Series, he could at least be man enough to say it to his face.
Cena came out and said of all people, he should cut him some slack. He said he has a decision to make because if Barrett beats him, "I am out of Nexus, finally." He added that if Orton wins, he's fired. He said he has to call the match down the middle, "but if there's a situation, if something happens in there..." and he trailed off. He looked down for a few seconds and then looked up, not sure how to admit the tough choice he might make. He looked around at the fans and said he's either free or he's fired.
Orton said he gets that. Orton said this is his bleeding heart way of saying he's going to screw him over at Survivor Series. Cena said that's not true. Orton said if he does cheat him out of his title to keep his job, he's the biggest phony in WWE. He told him not to talk about Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect, especially Respect. He said if he cheats him out of the title, he's disrespected everyone including himself. He told Cena to get out of the ring because he doesn't deserve to be in it. Cena said he doesn't like the situation he's in. He said he worked hard to get where he is. He said Barrett has everyone under control and they're running the show. He then bad-mouthed Barrett, saying he's the one who doesn't know about respect.
Nexus walked out onto the stage as their music played. Barrett stood front and center and said, "Oh Cena, thank you very much for those kind words." He said he's going to give him permission to say whatever he wants about him because ultimately actions will speak louder than words. He said words don't matter because when push comes to shove, he will do exactly as he is told and raise his arm as the new WWE Champion. Cena said in three weeks at Survivor Series it's over one way or another.
He promised Barrett that he'd leave him with a parting gift. He said when it's all over he'll beat the hell out of him. Orton said he doesn't have to wait until Survivor Series. He said as far as he's concerned, he's a scared, little child who has to stand behind others. He said the only thing left for his little stooge Cena to do is raise his arm unless he wants to come to the ring by himself and prove him otherwise. Barrett made his way toward the ring when the G.M. chime sounded.
Cole stepped up to the podium, which was on the right side of the announce desk for the first time ever. He read a statement stating that the G.M. sympathizes with Orton's position. He said later tonight there will be a main event with Barrett and a partner of his choice against Orton and a partner of his choosing. He said the special guest referee will be Cena. The crowd cheered that predictable announcement. The Raw theme music them kicked in as the three key wrestlers reacted to the announcement. [c]
KELLER'S ANALYSIS: Good opening segment in terms of pushing the intrigue over the tough choice Cena has to make in three weeks. It's putting Cena in a position where fans can't imagine either outcome occurring. Barrett really does carry himself like a veteran heel with more experience than he actually has.
1 - HEATH SLATER & JUSTIN GABRIEL vs. THE HART DYNASTY (David Hart Smith & Tyson Kidd)
Three of these four wrestlers can give Raw that needed dose of crisp athleticism. The crawler noted that WrestleMania tickets go on sale in two weeks. First-day ticket sales will be interesting there. Also, a high-flyers DVD will be released. Cole said when DHS and Kidd joined them on commentary it was "a cure for insomnia." DHS snap powerslammed Gabriel at 2:00. Both were slow to get up. Lawler wondered whom Orton would choose to be his partner. DHS fought with Slater at ringside. Kidd dropokicked Gabriel, who rolled to the floor. Kidd leaped toward Gabriel, but Slater shoved DHS into Gabriel first, so Kidd hit DHS. Kidd returned to the ring and was kicked from behind by Gabriel, who then landed the 450 splash for the win.
WINNERS: Gabriel & Slater in 3:00.
-R-Truth asked Cena backstage when the moment of truth arrives, what will he do. Cena said he told Orton what he knew. Truth said he wants to know as his friend what he'll do. Cena just walked away.
-A commercial aired for Smackdown hyping Edge vs. Del Rio for Friday night. [c]
-Cole said he got his picture taken earlier in the night with their guest star, Pee Wee Herman.
-Sheamus made his way to the ring. He said fans may expect he would throw a big fit over Santino beating him last week in the biggest upset ever. He said Santino didn't beat him, he beat himself. He said he gave Santino a week to bask in the glory of his fluke victory, but now he's going to make him pay.
Santino walked onto the stage right away. He said he respects him so much he dressed as Sheamus for Halloween. He said everyone thought he was a ghost, and it was irritating, so he understand why Sheamus is so upset all the time. He said he gets a stomach ache when he eats chocolate, caramel, and nugget together. He said if he wrestles him now, he might throw up in his face. Santino said he doesn't think anyone would want to see that, but he found a suitable replacement. Out walked Vladimir Kozlov. Kozlov said in his heavy accent: "Sheamus, you talk funny! Now I crush you."
2 -- SHEAMUS vs. VLADIMIR KOZLOV
Sheamus scored a two count at 1:00 and continued to dominate early. Kozlov came back with a kick and a two count. Sheamus countered with his thrust kick finisher for the win.
WINNER: Sheamus in 2:00.
-Afterward Santino entered the ring. Sheamus stepped on his hand. Santino slipped free and slid backwards out of the ring. Sheamus then backed him up the ramp. Santino offered him money from his wallet. Three dollars. Sheamus took it, but continued to back him up. Santino pulled out an American Express card. He handed it to Sheamus. Sheamus threw it aside. Santino pulled out his checkbook. Sheamus shoved him and then set up the Cross. John Morrison made the save and knocked Sheamus off the stage. "What's Morrison doing out here?" asked Cole. He suggested Morrison mind his own business. Santino danced in celebration of still being in one piece.
KELLER'S REAX: They really have nothing better for Sheamus than this? Santino is good for some comedy relief, but it's strange seeing Santino sidetracked in something like this.
-They showed Orton backstage. Truth said he feels for him. He said he just talked to Cena and he didn't like what he saw. He said he thinks he already made up his mind. Truth said Cena should have just quit at the beginning. He said he's not going to let himself get tired. He said he thinks in three weeks he's going to look him in the eyes as he counts Barrett victorious. Orton said tonight he'd like to make him his tag team partner. There were actually a few groans in the crowd and no pop. Orton said since he's friends with Cena, he'd like to see how he treats a friend. He said they might find out tonight Cena doesn't have any friends. [c]
-Backstage Mark Henry said on a phone things aren't the same since his tag partner Evan Bourne got hurt. He said he's not just his tag partner, but his friend. The camera panned over to Pee Wee who said he had a similar situation because he had a bad sliver, but eventually it came out in a hot bath and things ended up just fine. Henry said that's a great story, but he still has to find a tag partner. He said he is there to see him. Herman said, "I'd love to be your tag partner." He said he's super-strong and his idol, just the man to give him a big hug. Henry hugged him, but a little too hard. Herman said he realized a little Diva Twister might cheer him up. In came the Divas with a Twister game. Herman began playing out the game. Pee Wee then introduced a big surprise named Lita. In walked Lita, who got a nice crowd pop. She tipped over the Divas who were all twisted on the board. Everyone had a nice laugh. There's a surprise special cameo.
-A video package aired on WWE's support of the U.S. Armed Forces.
3 -- EZEKIEL JACKSON vs. ZACH RYDER
Jackson press slammed Ryder and showed some fire, but the crowd wasn't really reacting much. He one-arm chokeslammed Ryder for the win. Some fans booed. He is talking proof that you can be as massively muscular as just about anyone in WWE history and still pass the Wellness Policy tests, so he truly is the genetic wonder. He flexed afterward, which has been out of vogue in WWE for many years.
WINNER: Ryder in 1:00.
KELLER'S REAX: I suddenly felt transported back in time. That felt like a squash match from decades ago. Jackson just doesn't have a memorable hook right now, and flexing his massive massive musculature isn't really a key to getting over anymore.
-Cole plugged the main event tag of Orton & Truth vs. Barrett & David Otunga. Lawler plugged that Pee Wee's Playhouse would be up next. [c]
-Justin Roberts introduced Pee Wee Herman. He said tonight's secret word is "Ring." He said whenever someone says the secret word, scream out loud. He tried it. He said "Ring." Some fans popped. Cole also popped. He said he feels like a million dollars. The Miz and Alex Riley interrupted and Herman made a cartoon face. Cole stood and applauded. Miz said Raw losing at Bragging Rights may have been the low point in WWE history, but it turns out it's this. He said as a kid he never liked him. He said he was a Hee Man and Masters of the Universe fan. Pee Wee shot back, "Why don't you marry Hee Man." Miz told him to get out of his ring. That's the secret word. Pee Wee popped. Riley told Miz not to say the secret word. Miz said it again and Pee Wee went bonkers. Miz said he's a pathetic excuse for a man. "I know you are but what am I?" asked Pee Wee.
Riley told Miz he would handle him. Pee Wee began repeating instantly everything Riley said, driving him nuts. Miz threatened to beat up Pee Wee. He said Miz was starting to make him angry. He said he's a rebel. They went into a "Really?" "Really?" "Really?" battle. Pee Wee said, "Really infinity." Pee Wee told Miz not to "anger the Pee." Pee Wee said he has his cousin there. Miz said, "That's so funny I forgot to laugh." He vowed to destroy his cousin. Pee Wee said he'll wipe that smirk off his face because he's so awesome. Big Show's music began, but then shifted to Pee Wee's music. Show walked out waving and smiling dressed like Pee Wee with floods and a bow tie. Lawler said he's seen a lot of things on Raw, but this may top it all. He said there is a family resemlance. Show shoved by Miz and Riley out of the ring by their throats. Pee Wee leaped into Show's arms. Pee Wee asked if they had a nice trip out of the ring. The magic word led to more celebrating and cheers. The G.M. chime sounded.
Cole announced that Miz must face Pee Wee's cousin, The Big Pee Wee, next. Pee Wee's music played. Show and Pee Wee did the Pee Wee dance. "This is dumb," Cole said.
KELLER'S REAX: Pee Wee Herman is a brilliant comic and he actually pulled this off better than most out-of-their-element guest celebrities, in part because he's as ridiculous as WWE at it's best in the same endearing ways. His "Pee Wee's Playhouse" series can be watched on several levels by all ages and enjoyed. The crowd could have really rebelled against this, but they seemed to either embrace or at least accept it.
4 -- THE BIG SHOW vs. THE MIZ (w/Alex Riley)
Show dominated the opening minute or so. Miz conferenced with Riley at ringside. Cole complained that Miz had no time to warm up properly for the match. Lawler said neither did Show. Cole said Show doesn't need to because he's huge. Miz worked over Show's legs at 3:00. Miz jumped onto Show's back and applied a chinlock. Show fell backward onto Miz. Cole said that may be a Miz pancake. Lawler said to pour syrup on him because he's done. Show then set up his corner swing splash, but Riley distracted him. That delay gave Miz time to recover and move. Miz covered Show who kicked out with authority before one.
Miz punched Show a few times and then climbed to the top rope. He came off with an axe handle and then repeated it from another corner twice. Miz covered Show. Cole declared it a big win for Miz, guaranteeing a Show kick-out. Riley encouraged Miz at ringside as Miz held Show in another chinlock. Show shoved Miz into Riley when he stood on the ring apron. Miz hit Show with the briefcase, so the ref DQ'd him.
WINNER: Big Show in 7:00 via DQ.
STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Show is limited, but this was very much a watchable match.
-A "Stand Up For WWE" video aired beginning with Dennis Miller saying WWE is populist entertainment at its best.
KELLER'S REAX: There were also soundbites by Ryan Phillippee, Florence Henderson, Bob Barker, Jeremy Piven, Jon Lovitz, Cedric the Entertainer, Jewel, Johnny Knoxville, and Maria Menounos all talking suspiciously transparently similarly about how everyone is "so nice, so professional, and such a family." Could they have made it more suspicious that every celebrity was asked to stress basically the same thing on tape every time they guest hosted.
Miller said he doens't like it when something like WWE is denegrated. He said it's a rite of passage. Cole said Shaq brought his family to the show and said Shaq told him afterward it was one of the best nights of his family's life. Lawler encouraged everyone to stand up for WWE. Cole pushed the 15 videos that are on the site right now.
-Backstage Barrett told Cena after he raises his arm in victory, he wants him to clean his locker room. "I want you to sweep, then mop, then when you've done that you can scrub my back." He laughed and walked away. Otunga walked into the picture and said he will be raising his arm, not Barrett's. He said he has more talent than anyone in WWE, including Cena. [c]
5 -- TED DIBIASE (w/Maryse) vs. DANIEL BRYAN
Bryan attacked DiBiase with a barrage of kicks in the corner at the bell. DiBiase fought back quickly, though, and stomped Daniel in another corner. When the crowd chanted, "Daniel Bryan! Daniel Bryan!" Cole interjected in between, "...is so boring!" Cole and Lawler were diverted, talking about Goldust's wedding with Aksana on NXT on WWE.com live on Tuesday night. The pace in the ring was good, with some fancy leverage near falls by Bryan on DiBiase. Bryan showed fire at 3:00 and threw more kicks as DiBiase in mid-ring. Bryan escaped Dream Street and applied the Lebell Lock and got a clean tapout win at 4:00. Afterward DiBiase yelled in frustration at Maryse.
WINNER: Bryan in in 4:00.
STAR RATING: ** -- One of the better two minute TV matches you'll see on Raw. I'm not sure what's going on with Bryan's push, but no complaints.
-LayCool walked out with mics in hand. They said Natalya is "special" because "she's Canadian." They said they'd give Natalya a title shot at Survivor Series if she beats Michelle McCool tonight.
6 -- NATALYA vs. LAYCOOL
As Natalya walked out, Cole plugged the ticket sales launch for the Royal Rumble on Saturday. When Natalya went for a sharpshooter at 2:00, Layla interfered. Natalya at ringside catapulted Layla into McCool. McCool misfired and kicked Layla at ringside. Natalya then rolled up McCool for the win to earn a title shot.
WINNER: Natalya in 3:00.
-They cut to a scene of a doctor, played by Freddie Prinze Jr., asking how his favorite patient is today. The camera panned to Vince McMahon. "Still in a coma, huh? It's been months. Poor guy is gonna miss the election."
KELLER'S REAX: It's hard to take anything seriously enough to get worked up at all on this show when you have something that corny. Vince, a very public figure lately, plays himself in a coma with a famous actor playing a doctor. Ugh. [c]
-The doctor says that he's sorry he doesn't get many visitors, although his wife visits daily. He said she's quite devoted considering she's running for Senate and has spent $50 million on the campaign. That caused McMahon's heart to race. He sat up and said, "50 million dollars!" McMahon pulled off the covers and revealed he was covered in "Linda" bumper stickers. He said he hates politics, but as long as everything is okay in WWE, he's fine. The doc said speaking as a fan, things aren't going especially smoothly. He said they buried Undertaker. He asked if Nexus had been destroyed. The doc said they're stronger than ever. McMahon said last he heard Cena was going to destroy him. The doc said he's now in Nexus. McMahon's pulse raced again.
Vince asked what else was going on. The doc said Goldust is getting married tomorrow, Paul Bearer is back, and Raw is currently being taken over by Pee Wee Herman. McMahon said, "The next thing you're going to tell me is Daniel Bryan is United States Champion." His heart kept racing. Then he said he had a bathroom emergency. He struggled to get up. He said, "Stand back, I'm going to blow!" McMahon said, "Then again, if my wife can run for Senate, I can run to be the President of the United States of America." He then ohhed and made his way to the bathroom revealing a big Blumenthal towel stuck to his backside.
They cut to Stephanie McMahon without nearly as much make-up as usual. She said she just had the weirdest dream. She asked Triple H if her dad is still in a coma. Triple H said yes, they're pretty sure he's brain dead. She said, "Thank god." She looks so much better without that make-up. Triple H remained under the covers. We just heard his voice.
KELLER'S REAX: Ahh. Uhhhh. Hmmmm... Stoopid? That was a few too many "winks" to the audience. There are a lot of things wrong with doing that unless you have no desire to draw money by drawing people emotionally into your storylines. The fact that Vince, Steph, and Triple H all participated in such a skit without seeing the downside outweighed the upside doesn't bode well for the future of this industry. [c]
7 -- RANDY ORTON & R-TRUTH vs. WADE BARRETT & DAVID OTUNGA
Cena stood in the ring in referee stripes before ring intros began. Otunga locked up with Orton at the start. When pressed by Cole, Lawler predicted Cena will screw Orton at Survivor Series. Cena pulled Orton off of Barrett when he beat on him in the corner. As Orton argued with Cena, Barrett rolled him up for a near fall. Barrett tagged in Otunga. Orton worked over Otunga and then shot Barrett a look. Lawler said it's a really emotional situation for Orton. Barrett worked over Truth for a while, but missed a second rope elbowdrop when Truth moved. Otunga distracted Cena, then Truth tagged in Otunga. Cena didn't see the tag and ordered Orton out of the ring. Orton protested before leaving. Otunga and Barrett took turns beating on Truth. Truth began a comeback at 8:00, then collided mid-ring with Otunga. Orton snuck into the ring and hit his RKO on Otunga as Cena argued with Barrett. Truth made the cover and Cena turned around counted to three.
WINNERS: Orton & Truth in 9:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Just basic stuff. Okay.
-Afterward, Orton smiled off to the side as Cena argued with Barrett over what went down. Barrett acknowledged Orton got the best of them this time. Orton's celebration ended the show.
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