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Roman Reigns is one of the most divisive and talked about WWE performers in history. The company makes desperate play after desperate play to make him their number one star – thus far to no avail. How do they do it? What do they do?
I’m Tom Colohue and this is the Monday Night Reigns-o-Meter.
Monday Night Reigns-o-meter 01/09/2017
The first thing that the WWE wants us to know is just how tough Roman Reigns is. He walks out first into the arena, holds his title high, and is immediately less engaging than the (probably plastic) cage standing randomly on the ramp. It’s a handicap match for Roman tonight; truly impossible odds, but he looks ready, he looks steely.
They show a replay of Roman uniting with Goldberg in taking down Braun Strowman. This is important because without it, how would you know that Braun, Seth, Owens, Jericho, and Goldberg are all involved with Roman Reigns right now? Look how popular he is! Look at him!
Of course, Braun Strowman then wanders out before the match can start and joins the current Universal Champion and former multiple time World Champion in a beat down on Roman that lasts far too long before Seth Rollins intervenes. Roman gets to stand in the ring triumphant in the end, though, leeching off of Seth Rollins’s popularity like the little scamp that he is.
Roman sells an injury, knowing that if he doesn’t he might look weak later on.
About halfway through the show he gets to cut a promo. Tremendous work from him. He remembered the whole minute of a script. What was he doing before the promo? He was showing off his muscles and trying to intimidate his U.S. Title belt.
Also, he ties his hair up when he’s not in the ring and lets it down to wrestle. Bit counterproductive.
Owens and Jericho also get a promo and use it well, mentioning the fact that they were born in a country that isn’t the USA to try and unite this USA crowd behind their USA-born U.S. Champion: Roman Reigns. Solid work by all. The Universal Champion himself isn’t important of course; it’s all about building up Roman Reigns.
The match finally comes back, this time without Braun Strowman involved. He got a coffee and then got distracted by a dog in the back or something. Not important. Roman Reigns returns to the ring. Important. He continues to sell because he’s a hero, or something. Jericho and Owens come out together just in case Jericho’s music would get a pop from the crowd. We all need to know who the real hero is here and it’s not the massively over, insanely popular, supremely talented Chris Jericho. No no no. He’s just a prop here. Much like that shark cage that’s been out-charisma-ing Roman Reigns since the night started.
A match eventually happens two-and-a-half hours after it was supposed to and three months after I’m bored of seeing these three competitors in the same ring, but not before Roman gets thrown into a cage – killing the cage’s chances of a promising singles push – and beaten up a bit more.
He doesn’t give up and stop the match, though, because he’s far too tough, strong, and sexy. That’s definitely what WWE want us to think here.
After making Jericho bleed with his big strong hands, Roman Reigns finally succumbs to a solid beating by two men, two code breakers, and a powerbomb on to the apron. He took that Codebreaker well, though, I must admit.
Thankfully this means that the U.S. Title might actually develop some significance now since Roman Reigns started to drag it through the toilet. And not just any toilet, his own big, strong, manly toilet that’s tough as nails.
-Three man beat down
-Injured earlier in the night
-Pre-match beat down
-Two of the best wrestlers on the roster
Did Roman Reigns beat the odds?
Well, that makes a change.