{"id":134401,"date":"2022-03-03T01:34:00","date_gmt":"2022-03-03T07:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/?p=134401"},"modified":"2022-03-03T01:39:22","modified_gmt":"2022-03-03T07:39:22","slug":"2-28-aew-dark-tv-report-bryants-signature-quips-analysis-and-commentator-highlights-with-results-including-lethal-red-velvet-sakura-archer-chaos-project","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2022\/03\/03\/2-28-aew-dark-tv-report-bryants-signature-quips-analysis-and-commentator-highlights-with-results-including-lethal-red-velvet-sakura-archer-chaos-project\/","title":{"rendered":"2\/28 AEW DARK TV REPORT: Bryant&#8217;s signature quips, analysis, and commentator highlights with results including Lethal, Red Velvet, Sakura, Archer, Chaos Project"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"pwtor-2841881954\" class=\"pwtor-before-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><hr \/><b>SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)... <\/b>\r\n\r\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/widget.spreaker.com\/player?show_id=3076978&theme=light&playlist=false&playlist-continuous=false&autoplay=false&live-autoplay=false&chapters-image=true&episode_image_position=right&hide-logo=false&hide-likes=false&hide-comments=false&hide-sharing=false&hide-download=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"140px\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe>\r\n<hr \/><\/div><h3>AEW DARK ELEVATION REPORT<br \/>\nFEBRUARY 28, 2022<br \/>\nTAPED 2\/23 IN BRIDGEPORT, CONN.<br \/>\nAIRED ON YOUTUBE.COM<br \/>\nREPORT BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR<\/h3>\n<p><em>Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Henry, Paul Wight<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts<\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>&#8211; Hi guys! Welcome back! Thank you for visiting PWTorch.com, and thanks for checking out this report. I say it every week, but I also mean it every week: I appreciate you gifting me your valuable time, and I promise to waste it responsibly.<\/p>\n<p>-Tonight\u2019s Dark Elevation taping came to us from the Webster Bank Arena in Bridgeport, Conn. This felt like a perfect-sized venue. It looked good on TV, but it was not so big as to lose touch with the crowd\u2019s enthusiasm. By the way, the card for this show looks stacked, and there\u2019s not a single ten-man tag in sight! (Thank God.)<\/p>\n<p>-Dark Elevation opened with a wide shot of the arena, and the letters AHFO filled both jumbo-sized screens atop the stage. Matt Hardy\u2019s music (\u00a9 Idolo, all rights reserved) played as Hardy walked one of his prodigies, Jora Johl, to the ring. Hardy gave Johl a pep-talk on their way down the ramp by screaming into his face like his nose was a microphone.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTremendous athlete,\u201d Wight said. \u201cTremendous amateur background. The only thing I would caution about Jora Johl\u2019s career is who he\u2019s got managing him right now.\u201d (This was said in an entertaining way because it was said by Paul Wight, and I\u2019ve come to believe Paul Wight could make the phonebook entertaining.) Up next, Jay Lethal came out, and the crowd reacted warmly.<\/p>\n<p>BTW, with his shirt off, Johl looked intimidating AF. I remember thinking the same thing the last time he wrestled on Dark, but it is still surprising somehow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(1) JAY LETHAL vs. JORA JOHL (w\/Matt Hardy &amp; Jose)<\/strong><\/p><div id=\"pwtor-2379534905\" class=\"pwtor-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p>Johl started things off by quickly capturing Lethal in an impassioned side headlock. Lethal backed Johl into the upstage ring ropes and used the momentum those ropes provided to shove Johl toward the downstage ropes. After this, some \u201crope running\u201d ensued. Lethal dropped to the canvas; Johl jumped over Lethal; Johl shoulder tackled Lethal; Lethal shoulder tackled Johl; Lethal crashed off the opposite ropes; Johl dropped to the canvas; Johl leapfrogged Lethal, and then Lethal took Johl down with an arm-drag. (I am out of breath writing that.) Lethal went for a second arm-drag, but Johl saw it coming and lurched backward to avoid Lethal\u2019s grasp.<\/p>\n<p>Johl jumped over the top rope onto the apron, and Lethal knocked him to the floor with a baseball slide. Johl not only fell to the floor but hit his face on the ring apron in the process. (Good work there.) Lethal then pumped up the crowd, ran into the stage left ring ropes, shot across the ring, and executed a tope suicida onto Johl. Lethal landed on his feet and performed his Flair strut. (Okay, but why? As I\u2019ve said, week in and week out, this only brings attention to things you don\u2019t want attended to.) Lethal seized ahold of Johl\u2019s neck and rolled him back into the ring. Lethal mimicked Flair again (I give up.) and ran at Johl. Johl caught Lethal with his shoulder and tossed him into the air.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJay Lethal makes me smile!\u201d Wight said.<\/p>\n<p>Henry chimed in, \u201cYeah, he\u2019s just a happy, happy \u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Lethal landed precariously (which is insider lingo for \u201cballs first\u201d) onto the top rope. Lethal balanced on the rope in stunned agony because, in wrestling, agony aids balance. Johl superkicked Lethal off the rope and sent him crashing to the floor. Lethal lay on his back on the floor, clutching his precariousness, and Johl jumped out of the ring to attack him. Johl grabbed Lethal\u2019s head, pulled him upright, and nailed him with multiple forearms, followed by a stiff chop. Johl then posed and huffed for the camera at ringside.<\/p>\n<p>Hardy became annoyed with Johl\u2019s lack of focus and blustered over to demand he stop showboating and focus on winning the match. (I know Hardy\u2019s a heel, but he\u2019s not wrong.) Jose \u201cThe Assistant\u201d was also at ringside but made a point to keep his cool and stay out of it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe needs to stick to watching the books,\u201d Henry grumbled in regards to Hardy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe better be watching those books cause those books are cooked,\u201d Wight said. \u201cThose books are souffl\u00e9s.\u201d<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-1110037690\" class=\"pwtor-content-1 pwtor-entity-placement\"><!-- Tag ID: pwtorchcom_test_300x600 -->\r\n<div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __300x600\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p>While this was going on, Lethal made his way back into the ring, and Johl followed him. Johl caught Lethal and Irish whipped him into the ropes. Lethal rebounded off the ropes, and Johl caught him on the rebound with powerslam. Johl covered Lethal, but his offense was only good for a two-count. Before Lethal could regroup, Johl grabbed his head in a sleeper hold.<\/p>\n<p>Lethal tried to prevent the hold from being applied, but he was in far too much pain to stop it. Lethal fought his way back to his feet courtesy of a series of blows to Johl\u2019s midsection followed by a chop to Johl\u2019s chest. Johl teetered backward, and Lethal used a backslide roll-up to pin him for a two-count.<\/p>\n<p>Lethal chopped Johl\u2019s chest a third time, and Johl shoved him off with another Irish whip; however, Lethal reversed the whip. Johl ran at Lethal with a clothesline, but Lethal dodged the potential body blow. As soon as Johl turned around, Lethal hit him with a dropkick, followed immediately by a step-up enzuigiri. Lethal then signaled for The Lethal Injection. Lethal enthusiastically springboarded into the ropes, but Johl jumped out of the way. Johl then grabbed a confused Lethal, put him in the fireman\u2019s carry position, and executed a Samoan driver.<\/p>\n<p>However, instead of going for the cover, Johl chose to showboat again, and I don\u2019t blame Hardy for the side-eye he\u2019s giving him. After Johl finished wasting more time, he finally decided to run at Lethal and attempt a pump kick, but Lethal found the wherewithal to evade Johl\u2019s offense and roll him up for a two-count. After kicking out, Johl got to his feet a little bit slower than Lethal did, and because of this, Lethal was able to handspring into the stage left ring ropes and execute his Lethal Injection finisher. Lethal then pinned Johl and got a three-count for the win. (Johl kind of had that coming.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWinners find a way!\u201d Wight said. (Apparently, losers do, too.)<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Lethal in 4:00<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: This was a nice match. Lethal is an exceptional talent, and Johl was no slouch either. I think I would\u2019ve liked the match more if it had been a minute or two longer, but the show is long enough as it is, and they used the time they were given wisely.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, Matt Hardy cut a promo. (Oh, so that\u2019s why this match was shorter than expected.) Hardy grabbed the mic and confronted Johl.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can\u2019t believe you came out here tonight and embarrassed me!\u201d Hardy threw Jose\u2019s tablet at Johl, and it crashed into Johl\u2019s midsection. \u201cAfter all the disappointment I\u2019ve had to suffer with Private Party, you\u2019re going to disappoint me, too?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Jose \u201cThe Assistant\u201d picked up his tablet and looked sympathetically toward Johl. The crowd began to chant \u201cdelete\u201d as Johl tried to explain himself to Hardy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUnless you do something in the future to heavily impress me,\u201d Hardy jammed his finger in Johl\u2019s general direction, \u201cyour spot in the HFO \u2014 I mean, A-HFO \u2014 will be deleted!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hardy began making the \u201cdelete\u201d hand gesture, and the crowd chanted \u201cdelete.\u201d All the while, Johl looked on, indignant. Hardy then threw down his microphone and stormed out of the ring while Jose attempted to assuage Johl\u2019s ego.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(2) RED VELVET vs. SKYE BLUE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cUp next on AEW Dark Elevation,\u201d Wight said, \u201cIt\u2019s Skye Blue vs. Red Velvet.\u201d (Ooo\u2026 The battle of the primary colors!\u201d)<\/p>\n<p>Primary color number one, (Skye) Blue, made her way on stage and stood in front of a backdrop made of blue while wearing blue. Once Blue was in the ring, the color red filled the stage\u2019s screens, and primary color number two, Red (Velvet), made her way down the ramp.<\/p>\n<p>Red (For the purposes of keeping up with which color scheme is winning this match, I\u2019m going to use her first name just this once.) high-kicked her own shoulder on the apron, and it\u2019s insane how limber she is. She could probably kick someone two feet behind her.<\/p>\n<p>Already in the ring, Blue crouched down in the upstage left corner, sizing up Red.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTony, do you have a favorite cupcake?\u201d Henry asked, after having already made me hungry by describing baked goods in lavish detail.<\/p>\n<p>Red and Blue started things off with a collar and elbow tie-up, jumping at one another like they were going for purple. However, this didn\u2019t last long, as Red quickly overpowered Blue with an arm-drag and threw her onto the non-easeled canvas. (Yeah, I\u2019m making art jokes for this one, and I\u2019m pretty sure all of them will be dreadful.) Both colors, I mean athletes, jumped right back up to their feet, circled one another, and pounced into a far more intense color and gel-bow dye-up. This time, it was Blue who ended the lockup by arm-dragging Red. Red (paint) brushed herself off, got back to her feet, adjusted her hair, and mouthed the words, \u201cOkay, okay.\u201d Red then reached out and offered her hand to Blue. Blue looked at it for a moment before leaning in to shake it. To my great surprise and to the chagrin of all of wrestling history, nothing untoward came of their handshake. It was just a handshake. These colors are being very complimentary.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cA little respect there, I appreciate that,\u201d one of the announcers said.<\/p>\n<p>Blue and Red went into a third collar and elbow tie-up, which Red shifted into a side headlock. Blue\u2019s arms flailed until she was able to shove Red off of her and into the stage left ring ropes. Red bounced off the ropes and took down Blue with a hard shoulder tackle. Red ran the ropes; Blue dropped to the (non-mounted) canvas; Red jumped over Blue; Red rebounded, and Blue caught her with an attempted hip toss. Red countered said hip toss by draping her leg across Blue\u2019s neck and priming her for The Final Slice. However, Blue countered Red\u2019s Final Slice by backflipping out of it. Blue drew Red into a wristlock, and Red immediately countered that with another arm-drag. Blue countered Red\u2019s arm-drag with another arm-drag, and then both women superkicked at one another simultaneously. (This whole exchange was presented in the form of \u201cchain-wrestling,\u201d and it looked good. Kudos to both athletes.)<\/p>\n<p>The audience applauded (as they should), and both women drew up to their feet. Red and Blue swirled around one another like strokes in a Van Gogh painting, and then Blue splattered into Red, picking her ankle and pulling her down. (I almost went with \u201cpic-ing her ankle\u201d but thought better of it because it turns out I have standards after all. They\u2019re just extraordinarily low.) Blue went for a superkick, but Red blotted out Blue\u2019s offense by grabbing hold of her foot. Blue then crafted a well-placed enzuigiri. The impact dazed Red, and Red dripped down onto the canvas. Blue water-covered Red and scored another two-count. (Water-covered was iffy.)<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly Hirsch waltzed her way onstage. (Oh, snap. That\u2019s gonna be a horse of a different color!) Hirsch strutted and swaggered as if she were proud of some accomplishment we didn\u2019t get to see \u2014 like helping an old lady halfway across the street or bringing valentines to work for everyone but the person to whom it would\u2019ve meant the most.<\/p>\n<p>Back in the ring, Red rendered a neckbreaker on Blue and juxtaposed that move with a standing moonsault. Red then lacquered her torso over Blue, hooked Blue\u2019s leg, and etched out a two-count.<\/p>\n<p>Meanwhile, Hirsch sauntered down the ramp, looking like she\u2019d just kicked over a baby carriage on purpose. Red got distracted by Hirsch\u2019s ringside villainy, and Blue roller-brushed Red up for a two-count. Blue then planted a museum-quality superkick smack-daub in the middle of Red\u2019s face, and Red dripped down to the canvas. Blue penned Red and got a two-count.<\/p>\n<p>Red spritzed back to her feet and, in a brush-stroke of genius, flung Blue against the ropes, caught Blue\u2019s rebounding body, and erased Blue\u2019s hopes of winning with a picture-perfect Final Slice. With Blue looking up at the RGB lights overhead, Red covered her like a topcoat, hooked her leg, and pinned her for a three-count. (Thus, ending my God-awful jokes.)<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Velvet in 3:00<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: That was a good match. More exciting than I\u2019d expected, and not at all like watching paint dry. And in my opinion, Blue and Red are two of the brightest colors on AEW\u2019s color wheel.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, Red and Hirsch taunted one another. Red looked furious, and Hirsch looked like she\u2019d just helped a kitten get stuck in a tree.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(3) FRANKIE KAZARIAN vs. ALAN ANGELS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(I haven\u2019t seen this match yet, but I bet it\u2019s going to be good.)<\/p>\n<p>Alan Angels came out first with various members of Dark Order, and the crowd seemed appreciative and welcoming. The Dark Order members stayed on stage and watched over Angels as he walked to the ring, mugging for the camera. (His mugging came off a little heelish, but I\u2019m okay with it because his opponent is Frankie Kazarian.)<\/p>\n<p>Kazarian came out next and pointed to his fans as he walked down the ramp. (I hate how casual fans seem to under-rate this guy. They\u2019re really missing out.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere\u2019s no holes in Frankie Kazarian\u2019s game whatsoever,\u201d Wight said.<\/p>\n<p>Angles and White jumped into a collar and elbow tie-up, and Kazarian quickly shifted things into a side headlock. Angels whipped Kazarian toward the ropes, but Kazarian bounced back with a shoulder tackle.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDoes Angels have an earring in?\u201d Wight asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s how you know he\u2019s still young. I\u2019d yank that thing right out,\u201d Henry said with the calmness of a lovable sociopath. \u201cI\u2019d put you in a headlock and tear off your earlobe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kazarian, who is not a sociopath, swept Angels\u2019 leg and went for a cover, but Angels shoved him off, swept Kazarian\u2019s legs, and went for a cover of his own. Kazarian performed a roundhouse kick, but Angels slipped out of the way. However, Angels\u2019 vantage point gave Kazarian an opening, and he quickly rolled up Angels for a one-count. (The commentators are now talking about grinding earrings into their opponents, and I\u2019m making a mental note to never anger Mark Henry.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThen\u2026 we\u2019d get to see the blood dripping down from his ear,\u201d Henry said. (I was looking forward to this match, and I am now distracted by vivid images of mutilated ear-holes)<\/p>\n<p>Kazarian went for a clothesline, but Angels caught him in a waistlock. Angels rolled up Kazarian, who then rolled up Angels, who then rolled up Kazarian, who then rolled up Angels again. (The crowd is loving this!) Both men jumped to their feet. Angels looked like he planned to execute a back elbow but was stopped dead in his tracks by a knife-edge chop to the chest. Kazarian grabbed Angels\u2019 head and ran him toward the turnbuckles. Angels attempted to turn things around, running back toward the center of the ring, but Kazarian dropped him with a side Russian leg sweep. (And now we have even more applause from the crowd!)<\/p>\n<p>Kazarian chopped Angels\u2019 chest, and the crowd \u201cwoo-ed.\u201d Kazarian attempted an Irish whip, and Angels reversed it. Kazarian stormed toward Angels, who avoided him dropping to the canvas, and then stopped him in his tracks with a dropkick and an arm-drag. (Somehow, despite the laws of physics, that dropkick and arm-drag were executed simultaneously. I think.) Angels clamped on an arm-bar and began trash-talking as he wrenched Kazarian\u2019s shoulder. Slowly but surely, Kazarian fought his way back to his feet, grabbed hold of the top rope, and backflipped his way out of the armbar. Upon landing on his feet, his swiftly grounded Angels with an arm-drag that sent him flying out of the ring.<\/p>\n<p>Angels jumped onto the apron, speared Kazarian through the ropes, hopped over the top rope, and sprinted toward Kazarian. However, Kazarian caught him with a hard-hitting clothesline, which turned Angels \u201cinside out.\u201d With Angels reeling, Kazarian caught him around the waist and executed a gut wrench suplex to score a two-count. Angels tried to get back to his feet with a series of blows to Kazarian\u2019s ribs, but Kazarian quickly knocked him down again with a solid forearm to the back.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019re glad to have you back,\u201d Wight said to Schiavone. \u201cExcalibur\u2019s so series; he\u2019s got a stun gun that he shocks Mark and I with when we make a mistake.\u201d (It\u2019s \u201cMark and me.\u201d Get the stun gun!)<\/p>\n<p>Angels regained the upper hand with a step-up enzuigiri followed by a springboard dropkick. Angels then popped back to his feet with a kick-up.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNice kick-up,\u201d Wight said.<\/p>\n<p>Angels kicked Kazarian\u2019s leg, chopped Kazarian\u2019s chest, kicked Kazarian\u2019s leg a second time, chopped Kazarian\u2019s chest a second time, and then landed three more kicks to the side of Kazarian\u2019s hamstring. However, Angels went for one chop too many because Kazarian ducked his last attempt and hit Angels with a knife-edge chop of his own. Kazarian then followed that up with a spinning back kick and a knee lift.<\/p>\n<p>Kazarian went for a clothesline, but Angels ducked out of the way and used the opening to execute a springboard crossbody onto Kazarian. Instead of covering Kazarian, Angels ran the ropes, ducked another clothesline, came back around, and caught Kazarian with a headscissors takedown. Kazarian prudently rolled out to the floor to regroup.<\/p>\n<p>Angels attempted a suicide dive, but he only managed the suicide part because Kazarian caught him in the face with his forearm. Kazarian then ran into the ropes to perform a springboard legdrop, which he might have pulled off, except Angels caught his leg right before it struck him. Angels tied up both of Kazarian\u2019s legs and applied a Native American deathlock. Angels pried one of Kazarian\u2019s legs off his, and Kazarian used that free leg to kick Angels in the face. This knocked Angels backward, and Kazarian re-commandeered both his opponent\u2019s legs to apply a modified heel hook submission hold. Angels brutally kicked at Kazarian\u2019s face to loosen the grip and escape.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKazarian\u2019s got a stone jaw,\u201d Henry said.<\/p>\n<p>Angels pinned Kazarian with a roll-up for a two-count, and Kazarian pinned Angels with a backslide for another two-count. Angels chopped Kazarian, pushed him backward, and went for a second roll-up but couldn\u2019t make the cover. This fast-paced action ended when Kazarian caught Angels in a crossface chicken wing. Angels tried to fight his way out of the submission, but Kazarian\u2019s grip was too much, and he was forced to tap.<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Kazarian in 6:00<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: That was every bit as good as I expected it to be. In fact, I don\u2019t have a single negative thing to say. This match is one of those hidden gems you sometimes find on Dark or Dark Elevation, and I recommend everyone check it out.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>(4) KAYLA SPARKS &amp; LMK &amp; PARIS VAN DALE vs. EMI SAKURA &amp; DIAMANTE &amp; NYLA ROSE (w\/Vickie Guerrero)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m always thrilled to see Emi Sakura and Nyla Rose wrestling, but they have their work cut out for them trying to follow that last match!<\/p>\n<p>Rose\u2019s music hit, and Team Vickie, made up of Nyla Rose &amp; Emi Sakura &amp; Diamante, came out first. All four women looked fantastic, but all eyes in the arena (and by \u201call eyes,\u201d I mean mine, and by \u201carena,\u201d I mean my living room) were on fashion icon Vickie Guerrero. Tonight, Guerrero wore a shimmering, storm-cloud grey top bedazzled with an understated chain-link accent along the neckline. Her lam\u00e9 top was paired with marengo slacks, licorice-black stiletto shoes, and the Karen-ist of Karen-esque hairdos.<\/p>\n<p>Rose humorously reached out and hand-slapped a fan who was giving her a \u201cthumbs down,\u201d and I lived! Guerrero stopped to pose for the ringside cameraman and graciously gave him a free hearing test. (If he wasn\u2019t deaf before, he is now.) Sakura looked regal as she modeled her royal robes in the middle of the ring, and Diamante managed to look angry, flagitious, and larger than life all at the same time. (These women have so much character it bleeds off the screen!)<\/p>\n<p>Team Guerrero\u2019s opponents, LMK &amp; Kayla Sparks &amp; Paris Van Dale, were already in the ring talking strategy and laying out their game plan to lose. While planning how to divide up their pummelings equally, Team LMK was interrupted by Team Guerrero, who attacked all three women before the bell. Amid an absolute hailstorm of fist-shaped hailstones, the referee rang the bell because of course.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThese three women are gonna last about as long as an Oreo cookie in front of Mark Henry,\u201d Wight said, referring to Team LMK. (I almost went with team LSD, but I didn\u2019t want to advocate for drugs.)<\/p>\n<p>Rose double-clotheslined two members of the face team concurrently and tagged in Sakura. Sakura trapped Dale in the downstage right corner and riled up the crowd with her signature stomp-stomp-clap gesture. The crowd eagerly stomped and clapped alongside Sakura as she performed her \u201cWe Will Rock You\u201d chops. Sakura then backed up, ran forward, and nailed Dale with a running crossbody into the turnbuckles. Afterward, Sakura took a quick beat to leer into the nearest camera lens. (This is a perfect example of why I love her so much. She pays attention to all the right details and communicates a novel\u2019s worth of information in a second\u2019s worth of facial expressions. To quote Enzo, \u201cYou can\u2019t teach that.\u201d Or is it nZo, now? In-zoo? End Zone?) Sakura continued to mock Dale as she pulled her to the center of the ring by her hair. Dale then executed a jawbreaker which left Sakura clutching at her face. Dale tagged in Sparks.<\/p>\n<p>Sparks shot out of the face\u2019s corner like the fireworks her name exemplified. Sparks knocked Sakura to the ground with a shoulder tackle, followed immediately by a step-up enzuigiri. Sakura floundered and tumbled perfectly, rolling backward and pulling herself up into the scarecrow position on upstage left turnbuckles. Dale dashed across the ring toward Sakura, but Sakura smartly side-stepped her. Sparks exploded into the turnbuckles and crashed hard. Sakura rolled down the length of the upstage ring ropes until she reached the heel\u2019s corner to tag in Rose.<\/p>\n<p>Rose looked like an illustration of the word murderific. Rose towered over Sparks, bared her teeth, and grabbed Sparks by the neck for a chokeslam. However, Rose\u2019s chokeslam attempt was countered mid-air with a switch and a kick. Sparks scarpered to the face\u2019s corner and hastily tagged in Dale. Dale didn\u2019t make it two feet into the ring before Rose floored her with a hip attack. Rose picked up Dale like she had bubblewrap for bones and rammed her into the heel team\u2019s corner. Rose then tagged in Diamante.<\/p>\n<p>Rose held Dale in place while Diamante clobbered her with a rising knee strike. Ross then executed a crucifix takeover to drop Dale to the mat and assisted Diamante in delivering a flying splash. (Dale looked like the final frame of that blood-drenched Peter Griffin meme.) Diamante went for the cover, but Dale kicked out at two.<\/p>\n<p>Dale hurriedly hobbled toward the face\u2019s corner and desperately tagged in LMK. LMK ran toward Rose with the speed of a freight train but was quickly derailed by Diamante\u2019s shrewd ring awareness. Diamante caught LMK, hoisted her into the air, and executed a belly-to-back suplex that compressed her body like a wad of paper. (I want to take a quick moment to commend LMK on her facial expressions. You could see her panic escalate like a rising tide in real-time.)<\/p>\n<p>Diamante went for a strong cover, but surprisingly, LMK kicked out despite having just received a soul-scorching suplex. During the pin, LMK\u2019s teammates looked poised to break up the count, and in response, Diamante\u2019s teammates knocked both Sparks and Dale off the apron. Then, like a pack of wolves discovering a rabbit, all three members of Team Guerrero slowly encircled LMK. LMK looked up as the horror of her situation slowly dawned on her. Her face went through a multitude of emotions in a matter of moments \u2014despondent dread, trepid terror, and rueful resignation. (OMG. Hire her!)<\/p>\n<p>Rose attacked first, picking up a startled LMK and slamming her to the canvas with a flapjack slam. Sakura joined in and hit a standing senton splash on LMK\u2019s surely brutalized ribcage. Then, like a vulture picking at the bones of a long-defeated foe, Diamante put LMK in a body scissors hold and applied an ude garami submission. LMK tapped out.<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Sakura Diamante &amp; Rose (w\/Vickie Guerrero) in 3:00<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: Welp, before this match, I\u2019d never heard of LMK, and now, I\u2019m following her on Twitter. It turns out LMK stands for Lil Mean Kathleen. That has a nice ring to it! Also, the match itself was very entertaining. I wish it had been longer, but given the limited time they had, all parties made did a fantastic job.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, Rose snarled.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(5) LANCE ARCHER vs. FUEGO DEL SOL<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I wonder who\u2019s winning this?<\/p>\n<p>Fuego Del Sol made his way to the ring while making a lasso motion with his finger. He wasted no time getting down the ramp and into his corner, although he did make sure to acknowledge the fans. Next up, Lance Archer\u2019s music hit, and the man who puts the words \u201cMurder Hawk\u201d in \u201cMurder Hawk\u201d stormed through the heels tunnel (Why does anyone use the heels tunnel? Who self-identifies as a bad guy?) and raced down the ramp.<\/p>\n<p>Del Sol met Archer with optimistic fury, but Archer was more of a glass-half-empty kind of guy and grabbed Del Sol by the throat. Archer attempted a chokeslam on the ringside floor. (OMG!) However, with the luck of a two-sided coin, Del Sol somehow managed to land on his feet. Archer charged at Del Sol with his arm outstretched, but Del Sol ducked, and Archer\u2019s clothesline found nothing but air. Del Sol speedily (and wisely) dove back into the ring, and Archer gave chase.<\/p>\n<p>Archer swung glancing forearms at a frenzied Del Sol and then missed his next offense entirely. Del Sol attempted a tornado IDK because Archer countered his acrobatic offense by setting him up for The Blackout mid-way through the tornado part. However, Del Sol used the momentum of Archer\u2019s Blackout to execute a forward flip out of Archer\u2019s arms and land on his feet!<\/p>\n<p>Archer stepped forward, and Del Sol executed step-up enzuigiri. Despite how spectacular this maneuver looked, Archer was barely phased. Archer then snatched Del Sol off his feet and tossed him into the turnbuckles like tossing liter out of his car window. Del Sol crashed hard but put both feet up as Archer ran toward him. However, Archer caught Del Sol\u2019s feet, regained control, and threw Del Sol over the ropes and onto the apron. There, Del Sol executed an apron enzuigiri on Archer. Archer stumbled backward, and Del Sol mounted the top turnbuckle and dove off. Amazingly, Archer smacked Del Sol out of the sky like he was playing Duck Hunt with a gun-shaped forearm, and Del Sol looked thoroughly and utterly ruined. The crowd burst into applause for Archer\u2019s impressive offense, and Archer looked around bemused. (I\u2019m not sure if he was soaking up the audience\u2019s adulation or confused as to why such evil antics would elicit such an unusual response.) Archer shook off the crowd\u2019s enthusiasm, grabbed Del Sol, and threw the smaller man out of the ring.<\/p>\n<p>Archer seemingly decided, \u201cIf you can\u2019t beat \u2018em, join \u2018em,\u201d and gave in to the crowd\u2019s cheers. He started a rhythmic clap while looking out at the audience, and they excitedly joined in. Archer then signaled for a tope suicida, and the crowd popped big time. Archer nodded in acknowledgment of what the crowd wanted, backed up, ran into the opposite rope, and stopped dead in his tracks to mock the crowd for thinking he would entertain the idea of entertaining them. Finally, he got the boos he\u2019d been looking for. (He understood the assignment.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cArcher likes to launch people; he doesn\u2019t like to fly,\u201d Wight said, forgetting everything we know about Archer\u2019s most recent injury.<\/p>\n<p>Archer stepped over the top rope and hopped down to the floor. He splayed Del Sol across the steel barricade and slammed an open-handed chop into Del Sol\u2019s chest. The sound was deafening, and the crowd \u201cooo\u2019d.\u201d While Del Sol checked to make sure his heart hadn\u2019t fallen out of his butthole, Archer rolled into the ring to break up the referee\u2019s 10-count and immediately rolled back out. Archer held up a finger and asked the crowd if they wanted to see a second chop. The crowd roared with delight, and some fans got to their feet. Archer backed Del Sol into a different steel barricade, nodded at the encouraging fans, pulled back his hand, and tossed Del Sol into the ring. (There\u2019s an old saying in Texas. It goes fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice \u2014 you can\u2019t get fooled again.)<\/p>\n<p>Archer climbed over the top ring rope and into the ring. While he was doing this, Del Sol nailed him with a dropkick midway through, but Archer didn\u2019t so much as blink; he just continued stepping over the ropes. Del Sol then nailed Archer with a hard chop, and Archer looked at Del Sol like he was an unknown number he couldn\u2019t be bothered to answer.<\/p>\n<p>Del Sol attempted a springboard splash, but Archer caught him by his throat and held him several feet off the ground. (Thank God they got the timing right on that one because it looked dangerous.) Archer kept Del Sol in the air, held up only by his throat, and marched him into the upstage left corner. Once there, Archer sat Del Sol on the top rope and went for a Blackout. However, Del Sol tried to counter Archer\u2019s Blackout by clocking him atop his skull, and when that didn\u2019t work, Del Sol bit Archer\u2019s forehead! Archer stumbled forward, holding his bitten forehead. (Did you know that getting bitten by a human calls for a tetanus shot? I didn\u2019t either, but apparently, it does!)<\/p>\n<p>Del Sol leaped off the turnbuckles and went for another tornado IDK because once again, the DDT part got blocked. Archer hoisted Del Sol\u2019s Serpentico-like body into the air for a vertical suplex. Archer followed up his vertical suplex with a chokeslam so big it registered on the Richter scale.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s a huge chokeslam,\u201d Wight said. \u201cAnd I\u2019m kind of an authority on those.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Archer picked up Del Sol\u2019s trodden body and performed a decisive Blackout. Archer covered Del Sol, hooking his leg, and the referee counted to three.<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Archer in 3:00<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: It was nice seeing Archer get to have a longer match on Dark Elevation. Archer\u2019s monstrous character was strengthened by this match despite Del Sol lasting a whole three minutes with the \u201cMurder Hawk\u201d \u2014 and honestly, he wasn\u2019t \u201clasting\u201d so much as Archer was \u201callowing.\u201d I also enjoyed how quickly Archer thought on his feet, read the room, did whatever it took to get the crowd to boo him. Also\u2026 the closed captions kept saying \u201cMurder Hog\u201d instead of \u201cMurder Hawk,\u201d and it sent me.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, Archer leaned over the ropes to leer at a ringside camera. He looked crazed, daunting, and like he might be standing right behind you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(6) LEYLA HIRSCH vs. WILLOW NIGHTINGALE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This also has the potential to be a good match. Leyla Hirsch is improving by leaps and bounds, and her heel turn is a perfect extension of her existing character. I\u2019m also surprised they haven\u2019t done more with Willow Nightingale. They\u2019re looking to strengthen their women\u2019s division, and Nightingale has done a lot on the indie scene. She has experience repping smaller promotions and is a three-time NYWS Starlets Champion and has held tag titles in both Queens of Combat and Chikara. Also, she managed to make Brandi look good!<\/p>\n<p>Hirsch came out first and strutted down the ramp with kind of the malice you\u2019d expect from someone who\u2019d just popped all the balloons at a disabled child\u2019s birthday party. Hirsch cracked her nails on the way to the ring, and once she was in the ring, she stared down her opponent, Nightingale. (Since I already blew my allotment of pre-match blabber hyping up Nightingale, I\u2019ll just skip straight to the action.)<\/p>\n<p>Nightingale went for a collar and elbow tie-up, but Hirsch side-stepped her with the smirk of someone who may or may not have raised all the toilet seats in the women\u2019s bathroom. Nightingale pounced a second time and caught Hirsch with a side headlock. Hirsch fought her way free and whipped Nightingale across the ring. However, Nightingale rebounded into Hirsch with a shoulder tackle.<\/p>\n<p>Hirsch crashed to the ground, and Nightingale celebrated with a brief Guerrero-shimmy. That momentary celebration was all it took for Hirsch to find her bearings and knee Nightingale in the stomach. Hirsch Irish whipped Nightingale, but Nightingale escaped via cartwheel. Annoyed, Hirsch dropkicked Nightingale mid-cartwheel! Hirsch then backed Nightingale into the stage right ring ropes, wrapped Nightingale\u2019s left arm around the top rope, and hammered her chest with a hard forearm. Nightingale collapsed the moment she was released.<\/p>\n<p>Hirsch shoved Nightingale into the upstage left turnbuckles, trapped her there, held onto the ropes, and planted three shoulder blocks into Nightingale\u2019s stomach. Hirsch then sent an ailing Nightingale into the opposite corner and nailed her with a running forearm. Before Nightingale could even process the pain she was in, Hirsch swept her legs out from under her. Hirsch then posed for the crowd with the pride of a roommate waking you up five minutes sooner than you\u2019d asked.<\/p>\n<p>Hirsch did a celebratory forward roll, held out her arms again, and then attempted a Meteora onto Nightingale. However, Nightingale used Hirsch\u2019s untimely showboating to recover and evaded Hirsch\u2019s incoming offense. Hirsch collided with the turnbuckles, getting only a small sliver of what she deserved, and Nightingale walloped Hirsch across the chest with a clothesline. Nightingale attempted a second Irish whip, but Hirsch countered yet again, and Nightingale escaped Hirsch\u2019s counter with another cartwheel. Hirsch ran at Nightingale with a clothesline, but Nightingale ducked, and Hirsch looked horrified and aghast like just she\u2019d seen a puppy.<\/p>\n<p>Nightingale applied a waistlock before whipping Hirsch into the ropes and grounding her with a shoulder tackle. Nightingale celebrated while Hirsch propped herself up on the bottom turnbuckle in the downstage left corner. Nightingale then ran the full length of the ring to deliver a colossal running cannonball.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNice cannonball!\u201d Wight said. \u201cNow pull her to the center of the ring and make the cover!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Due to physics, Nightingale was unable to hear Wight\u2019s advice and decided to position Hirsch for a moonsault instead. With Hirsch in place, Nightingale ascended the ropes and leaped off. However, Hirsch rolled away at the last second, and Nightingale plummeted to the canvas. Hirsch got up and smirked like she\u2019d just slashed the tires of an ice cream truck. Hirsch then hit Nightingale with a running knee strike, pulled Nightingale to the mat, and slapped on an armbar. Nightingale tapped out.<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Hirsch in 2:00<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: Hirsch is quite entertaining as a heel. I love her facial expressions! Half the time, she looks like someone who spikes drinks with battery acid, and the other half of the time, she looks like someone who used up all the ink in a Xerox machine on butts.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, the referee raised Hirsch\u2019s hand, and Hirsch posed with the unfounded confidence of a man letting his kids use sidewalk chalk in someone else\u2019s driveway.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(7) CHAOS PROJECT (Luther &amp; Serpentico) vs. DARK ORDER (Stu Grayson &amp; Evil Uno)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Chaos Project (one of my favs) came out first and used the heel tunnel for some reason. (They were probably just trying to clear up traffic for Dark Order\u2019s entrance.) Serpentico began to walk to the ring, but Luther grabbed his mask by the \u2026 ear? (Do masks have ears?). Luther then recklessly tossed Serpentico into the ring, and the cycle of abuse continues to continue. *sigh*<\/p>\n<p>Once in the ring, Serpentico released his Spiderman-like streamers, and once again, Luther tried to eat them.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou know what I heard?\u201d Henry asked. \u201cI heard today is Serpentico\u2019s birthday! Maybe they\u2019ll let him \u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u2014 not a chance,\u201d Schiavone interrupted.<\/p>\n<p>Dark Order (represented by Stu Grayson and Evil Uno) came out next. Uno looked preciously dignified on his way down the ramp. (It was so adorbs.) I\u2019m not huge on Dark Order as a whole, but I definitely like these two. In the ring, Grayson and Uno put their paws up in support of Lady Gaga, who did not win a SAG award this week, and we should mourn that.<\/p>\n<p>Serpentico and Grayson started off the match. Serpentico puffed up his chest, stuck out his chin, and marched forward like the grown-up big boy he is. (Grayson watched this spectacle with just the right amount of befuddlement.) Serpentico continued sizing up Grayson and motioned to the crowd to indicate he wanted to attempt a bodyslam. Because it\u2019s Serpentico\u2019s birthday, Grayson shrugged and held out both arms so Serpentico could attempt to bodyslam him. Serpentico gleefully grabbed hold of Grayson\u2019s torso and\u2026 did nothing. (Dammit.) Unable to lift Grayson, Serpentico decided to chop Grayson\u2019s chest. He first \u201cshhh-ed\u201d the crowd so they could hear the violent sound of the chop, and the crowd simmered down to listen as Serpentico chopped Grayson\u2019s chest \u2014 it sounded like a water balloon farted.<\/p>\n<p>Frustrated that his WBF chop didn\u2019t phase Grayson in the slightest, Serpentico turned to the referee, who I hope remembers it\u2019s Serpentico\u2019s BIRTHDAY, and he deserves special treatment. Serpentico then turned back toward Grayson, and Grayson lightly swatted Serpentico\u2019s chest, knocking him unconscious.<\/p>\n<p>Stu Grayson picked up Serpentico\u2019s slight form, lifted him over his head for a press slam, and walked him over to Dark Order\u2019s corner. Uno stuck both of his feet through the ring ropes, and Grayson dropped Serpentico\u2019s fragile body onto Uno\u2019s boots. (Birthday or no birthday \u2014 given the size difference, this does not seem fair.)<\/p>\n<p>Grayson tagged in Uno, and Uno hit a pendulum backbreaker on Serpentico. Grayson then tagged himself back in and manhandled all ninety-four pounds of Serpentico, placing him on the ring apron. Then, with a mix of callous indifference and reckless abandon, Grayson performed a slingshot senton onto Serpentico\u2019s recently back-broken body. Proud of being a bully, Grayson posed for the audience and did the Mother Monster hand thing again. Grayson was about to return to the ring, but Luther clotheslined him to the floor because he doesn\u2019t like anyone hurting Serpentico except him. (Which is weird.)<\/p>\n<p>Luther rolled Grayson back into the ring, and Serpentico covered him wholeheartedly, but Grayson kicked out at one because Serpentico is built like my six-year-old niece. Resigned to his shortcomings, Serpentico decided to tag in Luther.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t think there\u2019s anyone like Luther in AEW,\u201d Schiavone said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t think there\u2019s anyone like Luther in the world,\u201d Henry said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey, now. He\u2019s special,\u201d Wight said. \u201cHe identifies mummies in Egypt; he works as a psychic for the police, and he speaks sixteen different languages!\u201d (Impressive\u2026)<\/p>\n<p>Meanwhile, Luther (Ancient Egypt\u2019s newly appointed wizard convoy to the United Nations) hooked Grayson\u2019s leg and went for a cover, but Grayson kicked out at two.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe has a degree in anthropology,\u201d Wight continued. \u201cHe has a degree in astrology! He\u2019s a master of haunted houses.\u201d (Is it crack? Is that what you smoke? You smoke crack?)<\/p>\n<p>Luther tagged in Serpentico, who got on all fours and called for a Poetry In Motion. (Oh, crap.) Luther ran toward Serpentico, jumped onto his back, and flattened him like an elephant falling from the sky. (I feel like I\u2019m watching the world\u2019s slowest snuff film, and I don\u2019t like it.) Luther looked at Serpentico with surprise in his eyes because physics is surprising.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe broke him!\u201d Henry said. (His outrage justified.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s physics 101,\u201d Wight said. (Stealing my shtick.)<\/p>\n<p>Luther and Serpentico attempted a double clothesline on Grayson, but Grayson ducked underneath them, popped back up, and executed a double Pele kick. Grayson tagged in Uno. Uno rammed a back elbow into Luther, which seemed fair because they\u2019re similar in size, and then clotheslined Serpentico, which seemed excessive because his bones are made of porcelain. Uno continued to alternate between fair and unfair offense by pump-kicking Luther and bodyslamming poor Serpentico on his birthday. However, Serpentico landed on his feet! (There is a God!) Luther accidentally clotheslined him into an out-of-body experience. (And he hates me.)<\/p>\n<p>Uno hit Luther with another pump kick, sending him to the apron. He then ascended the turnbuckles and performed a high-angle top rope senton bomb onto Serpentico.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHappy birthday!\u201d Wight quipped. (This is not funny! Serpentico matters.)<\/p>\n<p>Luther covered Serpentico and hooked his leg. Yet, despite everything, this brave, pitiable soul refused to stay down and instead kicked out at two. Uno tagged in Grayson and the two double-teamed poor Serpentico by tossing him onto Grayson\u2019s shoulders and executing a sitout powerbomb.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey\u2019re just rag dolling him all over the place,\u201d Schiavone said. (Stop acting like this is funny! Serpentico is a victim of abuse. We need to come together, reach across the aisle, and do something about it. Is there a ribbon I can wear? Ribbons fix stuff.)<\/p>\n<p>Grayson went for a cover, but Luther broke things up at one. Uno then responded by kicking Luther\u2019s midsection and attempting to Irish whip him. However, Luther reversed the Irish whip and clocked Uno with an enzuigiri.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cVery athletic,\u201d Wight said.<\/p>\n<p>Uno rolled out of the ring, and Grayson ran toward Luther. However, Luther used Grayson\u2019s own momentum against him to dole out a flapjack slam and then used Serpentico as a battering ram. (Why?) With Grayson rammed and Serpentico battered, Luther draped Serpentico across Grayson\u2019s body, and the referee dropped to the mat to count. However, despite it being Serpentico\u2019s birthday, Grayson kicked out at two, and Luther screeched.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat language is he speaking right now?\u201d Schiavone asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m thinking he\u2019s speaking Tibetan,\u201d Wight answered. (Really? OMG, that\u2019s impressive. Which dialect?)<\/p>\n<p>Luther charged at Grayson, and Grayson grabbed the top rope, pulled it down, and allowed Luther\u2019s own force to propel him out of the ring. Grayson tagged in Uno and then executed a stunning summersault plancha onto Luther at ringside. Uno tried to trap Serpentico in a waistlock, but Serpentico executed a standing switch; he then attempted a roll-up. However, Serpentico could not pin Uno because Uno rolled all the way through. Ever the clever fighter, Serpentico popped back up to his feet and superkicked Uno.<\/p>\n<p>Serpentico then ran into the ropes and attempted a Lethal Injection, but Uno caught him mid-air. As Grayson climbed to the top turnbuckle, Uno hoisted poor Serpentico onto his back. Together, Dark Order executed their Fatality finisher on poor, poor Serpentico. Uno covered Serpentico, and the referee counted to three\u2026 on Serpentico\u2019s birthday.<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Dark Order (Stu Grayson &amp; Evil Uno) in 5:00<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: I loved this match, but I don\u2019t know if everyone will. This match was full of comedic spots and over-the-top acting. If you\u2019re like me and enjoy that sort of thing, you\u2019ll love this match; if that kind of thing annoys you, you\u2019ll hate it. It was also really interesting to learn so much about Luther. Here I thought he was some lifelong wrestler trained in the Hart dungeon when he\u2019s actually a polyglot and smart enough to know what that word means! And he\u2019s magic! \u2014 Oh, and happy birthday to Serpentico! Stay alive this year.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>FINAL THOUGHTS:<\/strong> While I enjoyed Chaos Project vs. Dark Order very much, this week\u2019s match of the night goes to Kazarian vs. Angels. Both men put on a fantastic display of athleticism and exceeded my already high expectations. If you only have time to watch one match, watch that one. If you have time to watch two matches, check out Chaos Project vs. Dark Order, and if you have time to watch three matches, check out Team LMK vs. Team Guerrero.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, I\u2019m still working on my sign-off, but until next week, remember, don\u2019t invade sovereign countries to overthrow democratically elected governments. God bless the people of Ukraine.<\/p>\n<div class=\"pwtor-end-article-groups pwtor-entity-placement\" id=\"pwtor-4100536823\"><div id=\"pwtor-4096592973\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\nTHANK YOU FOR VISITING<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>AEW DARK ELEVATION REPORT FEBRUARY 28, 2022 TAPED 2\/23 IN BRIDGEPORT, CONN. AIRED ON YOUTUBE.COM REPORT BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Henry, Paul Wight Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts &#8211; Hi guys! <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2022\/03\/03\/2-28-aew-dark-tv-report-bryants-signature-quips-analysis-and-commentator-highlights-with-results-including-lethal-red-velvet-sakura-archer-chaos-project\/\" title=\"2\/28 AEW DARK TV REPORT: Bryant&#8217;s signature quips, analysis, and commentator highlights with results including Lethal, Red Velvet, Sakura, Archer, Chaos Project\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":117696,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6423,6438,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-134401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aew-dark","category-aew-tv-reports","category-tvshowsandevents"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/post\/2021\/04\/AEW-Dark-Elevation-TV-Logo_3x2.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=134401"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134401\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":134405,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134401\/revisions\/134405"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/117696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=134401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=134401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=134401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}