{"id":139750,"date":"2022-05-18T15:04:59","date_gmt":"2022-05-18T20:04:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/?p=139750"},"modified":"2022-05-18T15:04:59","modified_gmt":"2022-05-18T20:04:59","slug":"5-16-aew-dark-elevation-report-bryants-famous-asides-henry-wight-quips-martinez-vs-adora-in-roh-title-match-cutler-vs-bear-bronson-acclaimed-team-with-gunn-club-more","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2022\/05\/18\/5-16-aew-dark-elevation-report-bryants-famous-asides-henry-wight-quips-martinez-vs-adora-in-roh-title-match-cutler-vs-bear-bronson-acclaimed-team-with-gunn-club-more\/","title":{"rendered":"5\/16 AEW DARK ELEVATION REPORT: Bryant&#8217;s famous asides, Henry &#038; Wight quips, Martinez vs. Adora in ROH Title match, Cutler vs. Bear Bronson, Acclaimed team with Gunn Club, more"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"pwtor-1160921938\" class=\"pwtor-before-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><hr \/><b>SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)... <\/b>\r\n\r\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/widget.spreaker.com\/player?show_id=3076978&theme=light&playlist=false&playlist-continuous=false&autoplay=false&live-autoplay=false&chapters-image=true&episode_image_position=right&hide-logo=false&hide-likes=false&hide-comments=false&hide-sharing=false&hide-download=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"140px\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe>\r\n<hr \/><\/div><h3>AEW DARK ELEVATION REPORT<br \/>\nMAY 16, 2022<br \/>\nTAPED 5\/11 IN LONG ISLAND, NY<br \/>\nAIRED ON YOUTUBE.COM<br \/>\nREPORT BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR<\/h3>\n<p><em>Commentators: Paul Wight &amp; Mark Henry &amp; Tony Schiavone &amp; Anthony Ogogo (for some reason.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts<\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>&#8211; Welcome back! Assuming you aren\u2019t new. If you\u2019re new, that\u2019s also great! I love new readers. Stay new forever! To all my readers, old and new, I know you have choices, and I thank you for choosing PWTorch.com. The contributors here at the Torch may not always agree on wrestling-related things, but the one thing I\u2019m sure we all agree on is our appreciation of you.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; If you want to see me play guitar, attempt trapeze, figure skate, or juggle fire, please follow me on Instagram or Twitter @IamDavidBryant. If you don\u2019t want to see those things, please follow me on Instagram or Twitter @IamDavidBryant and switch to T-Mobile.<\/p>\n<p>-Tonight\u2019s AEW Dark Elevation taping emanated not-live from the USB Arena in Long Island, N.Y. I\u2019ve been to both Long Island and New York City on multiple occasions, and I love how they\u2019re so close to each other yet feel so different. New York City feels like an inverted roller coaster ride through a hailstorm of paintballs, and Long Island feels like a Ferris wheel with a breathtaking view of a party that sparkles all night long. I like both cities and all kinds of rides, but no adrenaline rush can ever beat the thrill of watching fireworks from the top seat of a Ferris wheel.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Before the show started, an advert for Draft Kings aired. I think this is the first external advertisement I\u2019ve seen on Dark Elevation since I began writing these reports last fall.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(1) BRANDON CUTLER vs. BEAR BRONSON (w\/Bear Boulder)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(This summer, I met a concierge in Tennessee named Bear, and I made it through the entire conversation without mentioning Bear Country. Given my maturity level and innate impulsivity, you should be proud of me.)<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-983066098\" class=\"pwtor-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p>Brandon Cutler\u2019s music filled the arena (son of a\u2026), and his acid trip of a music video filled the screen. Cutler himself walked out on stage, spraying cold spray into the air, and looked exactly like what I imagine the director of the music video for \u201cThe Gummy Bear\u201d song looks like.<\/p>\n<p>Once in the ring, Cutler paraded around, spraying cold spray at the cameraman, and looking like he was proud of his appearance. (Does he not have friends who can pull aside and tell him\u2026 Oh, wait. NVM. I\u2019ve seen what the Young Bucks wear in public.) When Cutler had finished subjecting us to his irresponsible, reckless, delinquent fashion choices, Bear Bronson\u2019s music hit.<\/p>\n<p>Bear Bronson and Bear Boulder came out wearing pelts harvested from a plastic forest and reverse beartraps borrowed from the set of &#8220;Saw.&#8221; This look was a vast improvement over whatever Brandon Cutler thinks he\u2019s doing.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow would you describe the outfit here of\u2026\u201d Schiavone trailed off.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBrandon Culter?\u201d Wight asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>(Are they reading my stuff? I feel like they might be reading my stuff. If they are, I apologize in advance.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBrandon Cutler looked like he was in a paint building, and it exploded,\u201d Henry said.<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-1158661436\" class=\"pwtor-content-1 pwtor-entity-placement\"><!-- Tag ID: pwtorchcom_test_300x600 -->\r\n<div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __300x600\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p>\u201cYeah, that\u2019s a good way to describe it,\u201d Wight said, \u201cand right now, he looks like a guy who\u2019s getting his arm ripped off by a bear.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Wight was right. The match had started the moment both men hit the ring, and their collar and elbow tie-up had quickly devolved into a one-sided wristlock. Bronson continually wrenched and yanked on Cutler\u2019s arm, even after Cutler was on one knee apologizing for his outfit.<\/p>\n<p>Somehow, someway, with the unfettered determination of a Girl Scout selling cookies, Cutler managed to flip his way out of the wristlock and land on his oversized feet. Cutler then slapped Bronson in the face because he\u2019s an idiot\u2019s idiot.<\/p>\n<p>Bronson chased Cutler out of the ring and then around the ring. Cutler ran with the mannerisms of an amphetamine-laced mime.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGovernor,\u201d Schiavone addressed Ogogo, who was there for some reason, \u201chow silly is this?\u201d (Silly enough that I hope he doesn\u2019t team with Hook anytime soon.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s silly,\u201d Ogogo said, \u201cbut look, we\u2019re in New York, and New York is a poor man\u2019s London.\u201d (New York is a state, London is a city, and while New York City is a city, you\u2019re in Long Island.)<\/p>\n<p>Bronson jumped into the ring, and Cutler continued running around the ring. Bronson then executed a tope suicida (OMG) onto Cutler, who was amazingly not dead. Bronson then threw Cutler back into the ring.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBronson is looking good lately,\u201d Ogogo said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah, he\u2019s lost a few pounds,\u201d Henry said. \u201cHe\u2019s gonna mess around and become a cruiserweight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bronson splashed Cutler in the upstage right corner with a body avalanche, and Culter fell into Bronson and appeared to take a nap on Bronson\u2019s shoulder. Bronson grabbed Cutler\u2019s face-mask-wearing head and tossed him into the opposite corner. Bronson then attempted a second body avalanche, but Cutler moved, jumped onto the apron, and executed an apron enzuigiri.<\/p>\n<p>Culter mounted Bronson in the upstage right corner and began punching his head 10 times. Between punches 4 and 5, Bronson grabbed Cutler\u2019s legs and carried him to the middle of the ring. Much like Wile E. Coyote, Cutler didn\u2019t know he was \u201coff the cliff\u201d until he looked down, but once he did, the ride was over.<\/p>\n<p>Bronson dropped Cutler with a huge overhead spinebuster (Beep, beep) and picked Cutler up for a bodyslam. However, Cutler managed to squirm his Day-Glo torso over Bronson\u2019s shoulder and shoved Bronson from behind. Bronson almost ran into the referee but stopped himself just in time.<\/p>\n<p>The referee seemed dazed, and Bronson checked to see if he was okay. This distraction allowed Cutler to grab his cold spray and approach Bronson with the stealthiness of an elephant stampede. Bronson turned around, took hold of Cutler\u2019s waist, and executed a Black Hole Slam. Bronson then covered Cutler and picked up the win.<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Bronson in 2:00<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: These Cutler matches are cute, but they\u2019re also the reason I don\u2019t tell certain friends I watch pro wrestling.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, an advert for Double or Nothing aired, and I kind of wish they\u2019d rename it to All-In.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; The camera cut to the announce booth, and Tony Schiavone reminded us that Draft Kings was the official sponsor of tonight. (Are we sure they know what they\u2019re sponsoring?)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUse the code \u2018Dark\u2019 when you sign up to play,\u201d Schiavone said. (Oh, wow. I guess they do.)<\/p>\n<p>Wight and Henry then bantered back and forth for a bit about possibly playing the game, and I don\u2019t know why, but it sent me. That moment of pure, innocuous, friendly banter might just be my AEW highlight of the week. I would watch a talk show hosted by these two, and I hate talk shows.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(2) BRODY KING vs. ALEX REYNOLDS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The lights in the arena went out, and somewhere backstage, at least one person went, \u201cNot again!\u201d However, it was not another showstopping blackout. It was The House of Black, or more specifically, Brody King, who entered alone, but did not look any less intimidating because of it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou talk about an intimidating entrance\u2026\u201d Wight said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSomebody hold my hand,\u201d Henry said. (These two are smol precious beans and must be protected at all cost.)<\/p>\n<p>The Dark Order\u2019s music hit, and the words \u201cJoin the Dark Order\u201d echoed throughout the arena. Alex Reynolds came out, followed by his cohort of merry spooky-men. Alan Angels, Evil Uno, and Preston Vance stood onstage with Reynolds but headed to the back while he headed to the ring. Once Reynolds reached the ring, he climbed onto the apron and smiled as he executed a Mother Monster\/Dark Order salute to the delight of all his Little Monsters in the audience.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis is gonna be a great contest,\u201d Wight said. \u201cAlex Reynolds, with all his experience and athleticism \u2014 and right now, it\u2019s like he\u2019s facing off against an ogre in the ring.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The match began with King seizing Reynold\u2019s neck and launching his body into the upstage left turnbuckle. King then ran at Reynolds and hit him with a body avalanche. (Damn.) Reynolds collapsed in the corner, and King revved up to execute a massive running cannonball.<\/p>\n<p>Reynolds crawled the length of the ring, using the bottom and middle rope to hold himself up. King trapped Reynolds in the upstage right corner and hit him with an explosive-looking forearm and a blistering-looking chop. Reynolds crumbled yet again.<\/p>\n<p>King pulled Reynolds onto his shoulders, but Reynolds fought his way off. However, before Reynolds could execute even a modicum of offense, King slammed him in the chest with three rising knee strikes and executed a back body drop.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere\u2019s a lot more to him (King) than intimidation,\u201d Schiavone said. \u201cI can tell you that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Reynold\u2019s pulled himself into the scarecrow position in the upstage left corner, and King charged toward him for a body avalanche. However, Reynold\u2019s got his foot up in the knick of time. King attempted his body avalanche a second time, and Reynolds dodged out of the way, ran the ropes, and came back with a rope-assisted, running back elbow.<\/p>\n<p>The force of Reynolds\u2019 back elbow caused King to stumble out of the corner and into the center of the ring. As King teetered mid-ring, Reynolds bounced into the ropes and rebounded with a svelt diving corkscrew elbow.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWow, that diving elbow just rocked Brody,\u201d Wight said.<\/p>\n<p>King lumbered forward, and Reynolds stopped him with a dropkick to his left leg. When King didn\u2019t topple over, Reynolds popped back up and hit him with a forearm, a kick, and three more forearms.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe still can\u2019t get him off his feet!\u201d Wight said.<\/p>\n<p>Reynolds took off his elbow pad, and this momentary respite was all King needed to recover enough to shove Reynolds into the stage right ring ropes. Reynolds bounced off and attempted to run the ropes, but King caught him with a killer clothesline.<\/p>\n<p>King lifted Reynolds into the air and executed his Gonzo Bomb finisher. (That move almost always looks like someone\u2019s going to die.) Thankfully, nobody died, but Reynolds was definitely out of it. King covered Reynolds, hooked his leg, and the referee counted to three.<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: King at 98 seconds<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: that was a lot shorter than I expected; it was essentially a squash, but it made King look like a million bucks. There isn\u2019t much negative to say here, except I wish the match had been a little longer, but if they\u2019d made it longer, then they wouldn\u2019t have made their point as effectively.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, an advert for Dynamite aired, and it followed the same template as the advert I complimented last week. Instead of merely mentioning that Dynamite happens on Wednesdays, the advertisement ran down the lineup for this week\u2019s Dynamite.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(3) ANNA JAY &amp; YUKA SAKAZAKI vs. EMI SAKURA &amp; NYLA ROSE (w\/Vickie Guerrero)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Nyla Rose\u2019s music hit, but the first one out of the tunnel was not the \u201cNative Beast\u201d but the \u201cOpticative Feast\u201d Emi Sakura. Sakura wore regal attire, Rose wore evil attire, and fashion icon Vickie Guerrero wore exceptional attire.<\/p>\n<p>Tonight, Guerrero sported a form-fitting, runway-ready black t-shirt courtesy of the Haus of Pro Wrestling Tees and breathtaking white leggings courtesy of grand couturier T.J. Maxx. Guerrero modeled this ensemble down AEW\u2019s oddly-angled runway as firey flashbulb-like flames burst behind her; these flashes illuminated her exclusive look available only to everyone on shopaew.com.<\/p>\n<p>While typing all of this, Anna Jay &amp; Yuka Sakazaki definitely came out at some point. Sakazaki\u2019s outfit is actually kind of the ish, but since all clothes were invented to be worn by Vickie Guerrero, I can\u2019t comment further.<\/p>\n<p>Incensed by Sakazaki\u2019s discourteous attempt to upstage Guerrero, Sakura and Rose were left with no choice but to righteously attack Sakazaki and Jay from behind. To keep things fair, the referee rang the bell as soon as both women were clearly knocked to the ground. Rose and Sakura maintained their hard-earned advantage by stomping on Jay\u2019s back and choking Sakazaki on the middle rope. The referee started counting Rose\u2019s choking, and she stopped to argue with him over his sudden recollection of rules.<\/p>\n<p>(A lower third graphic just popped up advertising Hook for the Double or Nothing Buy-In pre-show, and ugh\u2026 Why does Hook have to be on the Buy-In again? He is one of AEW\u2019s best merch sellers and gets such a raucous reaction that he is consistently brought out at the end of the show to \u201csend the crowd home happy.\u201d In what world does someone look at an asset like that and think, \u201cPre-show material!\u201d)<\/p>\n<p>This reprieve allowed Sakazaki to turn the tables by stomping on Rose\u2019s foot. Rose lurched toward Sakazaki, but Sakazaki rolled underneath her and tagged in Jay. Jay (of Lady Legasus fame) flitted across the ring and used her leg(asus) to kick Rose. Jay then cheap-shotted Sakura and knocked her off the apron, thus abusing the great responsibility that comes with the great power bestowed upon comic book characters.<\/p>\n<p>Rose grabbed Jay\u2019s neck and tossed her into the downstage right corner. Rose went for a back body splash, but Jay sidestepped her, allowing Rose to crash into the turnbuckles. Jay smashed Rose with a back elbow and five forearms. With Rose left crouched in the corner, Jay raced across the ring to tag in Sakazaki.<\/p>\n<p>Sakazaki jumped into the ring and ran to the corner opposite Rose. Jay slammed a leg lariat into Rose\u2019s chest, and Sakazaki ran across the ring, clocking Rose with a running leg lariat of her own. Sakazaki then jumped from the ground to the top turnbuckles (almost in a single bound) and waited for Rose to turn around. As soon as Rose did, Sakazaki nailed her with a flying missile dropkick. Sakazaki covered Rose, but Rose powered out at two.<\/p>\n<p>Sakazaki jumped onto the apron for a slingshot of some kind, but Guerrero noticed that something was amiss with Sakazaki\u2019s wrestling boot and grabbed her ankle to help fix it. Unfortunately, Guerrero was forced to let go of Sakazaki\u2019s leg when Rose interrupted them with a body avalanche.<\/p>\n<p>Rose draped Sakazaki across the middle of the top rope and climbed the turnbuckles. Rose then jumped off the top turnbuckle and hit Sakazaki with a flying knee strike. (WHOA. I did not see that coming.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMy goodness!\u201d Schiavone said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe almost took her head off,\u201d Henry exclaimed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI hope she\u2019s okay,\u201d Schiavone added.<\/p>\n<p>Rose covered Sakazaki, hooked her leg, and would have gotten the win had it not been for that meddling Lady Legasus. Jay broke up the pin at two with a falling axe-handle. As soon as Jay\u2019s dirty work was done, she rolled out of the ring, and Rose tagged in Sakura.<\/p>\n<p>Sakura, a truly excellent wrestler, made her way into the ring, forcing Sakazaki into the downstage right corner. There, Sakura stomped and clapped until the crowd was stomping and clapping along. Sakura then executed a crowd-pleasing \u201cWe Will Rock You\u201d chop to Sakazaki\u2019s chest. Sakura backed up and threw her arms out wide as the crowd continued to stomp and clap, and then she ran toward Sakazaki to execute a running crossbody.<\/p>\n<p>Sakura delivered a Queen\u2019s Gambit to Sakazaki (who made it look like a million bucks) and covered her for a two-count. The only reason it wasn\u2019t a three count was that Sakura pulled off at the last minute because she saw Jay running toward her. Sakura pointed the referee toward Jay, and Jay scarpered back into the \u201cface\u201d team\u2019s corner.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe seemed more worried about Anna Jay than making a cover,\u201d Schiavone chided. (I wonder why?)<\/p>\n<p>Rose had gotten into the ring in response to Jay, and Sakura decided to hold Sakazaki in place while Rose ran toward her with a clothesline. However, Sakazaki jumped out of the way, and Rose smashed into Sakura. (Nooo!)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh! Miscommunication,\u201d Wight said. \u201cI love to see that.\u201d (I\u2019m sticking \u201cNooo!\u201d)<\/p>\n<p>Jay jumped in to help her tag team partner and jumped onto Rose\u2019s back. Jay then applied her Queen Slayer chokehold while Rose blundered backward toward the upstage left turnbuckles. Sakazaki lifted Sakura onto her shoulders and began to spin around.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHere we go!\u201d Wight said. \u201cWe\u2019re going for the Magical Merry Go Round!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sakazaki kept spinning Sakura, faster and faster, picking up a dizzying speed. (That looked quite impressive.) Sakazaki then released Sakura into the air and executed her Magical Merry Go Round finisher. Sakazaki covered Rose, hooked Sakura\u2019s leg, and picked up the win.<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Jay &amp; Sakazaki in 4:00<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: This was a very enjoyable match. I\u2019ve said a lot about how much I appreciate the work of Sakura, and she delivered, yet again, but I feel like I\u2019ve not said enough about Rose and how much she\u2019s improved since her debut. The folks still judging her based on those early months need to watch her recent work more closely. She\u2019s not yet Charlotte Flair, but she\u2019s not Eva Marie either. She\u2019s a constantly improving talent with a unique look who works hard to add something to every match she\u2019s in.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, Rose attacked Sakazaki from behind and threw her out of the ring. Rose then stomped around the inner perimeter of the ring and shouted things that were probably not very nice. Jay pointed to Sakazaki and retorted, \u201cShe won!\u201d The cameraman then cut to a close-up of Vickie Guerrero to send the fans home happy.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the post-match scuffle, an advert aired for Forbidden Door, which will emanate live from an absolutely jam-packed United Center. While the United Center is tied with the Greensboro Coliseum for the distinction of being the U.S.\u2019s largest indoor arena, the ticket sales for this event has me thinking they should\u2019ve booked a bigger place. WrestleTix claimed there were \u201cwell over 20,000 people in the queue\u201d when the presale sold out at 11,000 tickets. AEW has since expanded their capacity to just over 15,000 tickets by selling the seats directly behind the stage. Without a stage of any kind (which is not a feasible possibility), the maximum capacity is 23,500. In hindsight, I think this event could have sold out a small stadium.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After this advert, a clip from AEW\u2019s interview show \u201cHey (Ew)\u201d aired. It featured Power House Hobbs and Ricky Starks. They discussed the use of the word \u201cstroke\u201d in Starks\u2019s chosen nickname, \u201cStroke Daddy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>(4) THE ACCLAIMED &amp; THE GUNN CLUB (w\/Billy Gunn) vs. ZACK CLAYTON &amp; LUCAS CHASE &amp; GKM &amp; BRYCE DONOVAN<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The first men out were the not-Ass-Boys accompanied by their father, who looked like their brother. (After seeing Billy Gunn live, my new life goal is to look 38 at 58, and now I\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019ve torn my TFCC again.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYo,\u201d Max Caster\u2019s voice screeched out of the speakers. \u201cYo, listen!\u201d (This feels like how I imagine banshees capture their prey.)<\/p>\n<p>Anthony Bowens (looking like a man who still goes to frat parties in his thirties) put his face in the camera and had an irksome seizure that involved his tongue.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe Acclaimed and the Gunns \u2014 it\u2019s about to go down,\u201d Caster did an imitation of what a ten-year-old thinks rap music sounds like. \u201cI\u2019m Platinum Max; I\u2019m back in my hometown.\u201d (I imagine a lot of people are sinking in their seats and wishing they were turtles right now.)<\/p>\n<p>The director cut to the audience, which suddenly felt like a new form of identity shaming.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you all really have a shot?\u201d Caster asked of his opponents, who were already waiting in the ring. \u201cGonna send you packing like Barry Trotz.\u201d (None of this rhymes, and it\u2019s less coherent than a toddler chewing gum.)<\/p>\n<p>Zack Clayton &amp; Lucas Chase &amp; GKM &amp; Bryce Donovan (The Acclaimed &amp; The Gunn Club\u2019s opponents) collectively rolled their eyes.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou mess with us \u2014 it\u2019s a bad choice,\u201d Caster continued causing permanent damage to the performing arts. \u201cGetting beat by The Acclaimed and the Ass Boys.\u201d (Why are these two teams together again?)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBurp-Basket\u201d Bowens commandeered the mic and said, \u201cWhen I say \u2018ass,\u2019 you say \u2018boys!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The Ass\u2014I mean Gunn Club looked very displeased as Bowens led the crowd in a call-and-response chant of \u201cass\u201d and \u201cboys.\u201d (I am displeased but for a very different reason.)<\/p>\n<p>Colton Gunn stole the mic from Bowens and said, \u201cWhen I say \u2018Gunn,\u2019 you say \u2018club!\u2019 Gunn! \u2026\u201d Colton waited. This did not go down the way he was hoping, and it went down exactly the way you\u2019re thinking.<\/p>\n<p>Anywho\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLooooong Iiiiisland!\u201d Bowens verbally assaulted the mic. \u201cThe Acclaimed have Arrriiiived!\u201d (I would love to see how he spells that out in guest books.)<\/p>\n<p>Bowens and Castor scissored in the ring like they were about to star in a porno called Forbidden Door. (Actually, you know what? I hope they are on Forbidden Door, and I hope they face the tag team of Tomohiro Ishii &amp; Bob Holly in Tough Enough-mode.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCrust-Cabinet\u201d Caster started the match off by facing down GKM. However, the crowd chanted loudly for the \u201cAss Boys,\u201d and so Caster tagged in Austin. Austin immediately turned around and tagged Caster back in. Caster trapped GKM in a wristlock, and Austin then tagged himself back in. (All of this happened in about 10 seconds.)<\/p>\n<p>Austin threw GKM to the mat with a hair-mare and mugged for the crowd. GKM jumped back up, caught Austin\u2019s arm, and attempted to whip Austin across the ring. Austin reversed GKM\u2019s whip and ran the ropes. GKM dodged Austin the first time with a canvas drop, but Austin caught GKM on his second go-round, taking out GKM\u2019s legs.<\/p>\n<p>Colton blind-tagged himself in, and as soon as Austin was out of the ring, he ran around to the face team\u2019s corner, grabbed Donovan\u2019s leg, and yanked him off the apron. (This is happening even faster than it reads.) Bowens applauded Austin\u2019s actions from the corner, and Colton tagged in \u201cBurp-Basket\u201d Bowens, a man whose existence raises questions about the theory of natural selection, and Bowens tagged in Caster, the human equivalent of stepping on a Lego.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cChlamydia-Connoisseur\u201d Caster hot to the top rope (SHOT! He shot to the top rope. I meant to say shot.) Colton executed a Colt 45 on GKM, and Caster leaped off the top rope to execute a Mic Drop.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cClown-Clunker\u201d Caster tagged in Bowens, who has hot done a single move (I mean not. He has NOT done a single move \u2014 Let\u2019s just forget that happened and try this again.) Bowens, who has not done a single move in this entire match, hooked GKM\u2019s leg, went for the cover, and hot the win. (DAMMIT! I\u2019m starting to see the merits of chemical castration.)<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: The Acclaimed &amp; The Gunn Club (w\/Billy Gunn) at 79 seconds.<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: That was quick. In fact, the other team never got so much as a tag! I didn\u2019t even have time to think of any half-decent insults! I guess I get it if they were running short of time, but because I actually enjoy rooting against The Acclaimed, I wish this match had been longer.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, four muscular men, two of whom are regularly referred to as \u201cass boys,\u201d fingered each other in the ring. *nose pinch*<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI gotta be honest with you, Mark,\u201d Wight said. \u201cI like it when they do that. I think it\u2019s great television.\u201d *nose break*<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After Wight\u2019s deeply disturbing confession, AEW played their advert for Double or Nothing again.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(5) DARK ORDER (Preston Vance &amp; Evil Uno) vs. ERIC JAMES &amp; VSK<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The words \u201cJoin the Dark Order\u201d filled the arena for the second time that night, and a wide shot of the arena showed purple and green lights illuminating both the stage and the ring. It almost looked like a slightly sinister rave or a slightly less sinister episode of Euphoria.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHands up, Mark,\u201d Henry said. (I guess he\u2019s going with \u201cslightly sinister rave.\u201d)<\/p>\n<p>Alan Angels accompanied the team of Preston \u201cNumber 10\u201d Vance &amp; Evil Uno onto the stage. However, Angels returned to the back once the match started. (Despite disliking tag matches with more than two men, I\u2019m oddly disappointed Angels isn\u2019t wrestling. I guess I enjoy his stuff enough to put up with six-man tag matches, which says a lot.)<\/p>\n<p>Vance flashed his fingers like a young Shawn Spears. (Or an older Shawn Spears.) (Or last week\u2019s Shawn Spears.) Uno walked down the rampway side-by-side with Vance, and he held his arms behind his back in a dignified manner that always seems jarring given his mask. Once Uno and Vance made it to the ring apron, they both posed for the hard camera and saluted Lady Gaga.<\/p>\n<p>Dark Order\u2019s opponents, the team of Eric James &amp; VSK, were already awaiting their arrival in the ring. James and VSK high-fived one another before the match started, and VSK stepped through the ropes and onto the apron. Uno and James started the match for their respective teams.<\/p>\n<p>James immediately went for a big boot, but Uno caught his foot, holding him hostage in the middle of the ring. James tried to beg off, but Uno used his leg to throw him to the canvas. Uno then stomped on both of James\u2019s hands and tagged in Vance.<\/p>\n<p>Vance picked James up in a very delayed vertical suplex, and Uno climbed to the second rope to lead the crowd in a countdown (or countup) of how many seconds the \u201cdelayed\u201d part of the vertical suplex lasted. At around \u201cten,\u201d Vance transitioned from \u201cdelayed\u201d to \u201csuplex,\u201d James splattered onto the canvas.<\/p>\n<p>Vance tagged in Uno, and Uno quickly snatched up James. Uno then executed a (slightly) delayed vertical suplex of his own. Uno picked James up off the mat by his trunks and almost accidentally increased the show\u2019s TV rating in the process. James tried to tag in VSK, but Uno pulled him backward and trapped him in a waistlock. James then escaped the waistlock by planting multiple back elbows into Uno\u2019s jaw. With Uno reeling, James executed a step-up enzuigiri and tagged in VSK.<\/p>\n<p>VSK entered the match via a slingshot senton over the top rope, smashing his back into Uno\u2019s chest. VSK then kicked Uno in the head twice. However, the second kick seemed to knock Uno\u2019s senses back into him (odd), and Uno rose to his feet. VSK went for a third kick, but Uno caught his boot. Uno shoved VSK\u2019s leg so that he turned around backward, and Uno executed a swift neckbreaker. Uno then tagged in Vance.<\/p>\n<p>Vance exploded out of the face team\u2019s corner and ran down VSK with a clothesline. James jumped into the ring to save his partner (rules?), and Vance plowed through James with a second clothesline. VSK tried to take advantage of James\u2019s distraction by clotheslining Vance, but Vance ducked underneath VSK\u2019s arm, grabbed VSK around the waist, and executed a suplex. (I couldn\u2019t make out what kind it was.)<\/p>\n<p>James tried to jump onto Vance, but Vance caught him in the \u201cwheelbarrow\u201d position. Vance then walked James to the upstage ring ropes and executed a rope-assisted wheelbarrow suplex on VSK. Vance then hit a devastating-looking spinebuster and roared for the crowd. Uno climbed onto the second rope and implored Vance to tag him in. Vance tagged in Uno.<\/p>\n<p>Together, Dark Order executed an assisted powerbomb that Wight told us would be called \u201cThe Dark Reckoning\u201d from now on. (I wish Grayson hadn\u2019t left.) Upon executing their new Dark Reckoning finisher, Uno hooked both of VSK\u2019s legs and pinned him to pick up the win.<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Dark Order in 3:00<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: This was another fun but short match. So far, all of the matches have been really short, and we\u2019ve got a quarter of the show left with only one match still to come.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, they aired another advert for Dynamite. This ad was more generic, and I feel like a lot of people watching Dark are already generically aware that there is a show called Dynamite on Wednesday nights.<\/p>\n<p><strong>(6) MERCEDES MARTINEZ vs. TRISH ADORA &#8211; ROH Women\u2019s Championship match<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(Note to the reader: Because this is a championship match, I will not be making jokes while reporting on the actual match itself. I reserve the right to make jokes before and after the bell, but once the bell rings, my reporting will become serious because championship matches are inherently serious\u2026 even if they\u2019re on Dark Elevation.)<\/p>\n<p>Okay, sooo\u2026 that\u2019s why the other matches have been so short. We\u2019re getting an ROH Women\u2019s Championship match on Dark Elevation because I guess it got lost somewhere between here and Dynamite? (Sure. Whatever. Why not? We\u2019re only on YouTube here.) However, I suppose I shouldn\u2019t look a gift horse in the mouth. I have to admit. It is kind of exciting to report on my first title match, even if it is on YouTube.<\/p>\n<p>Generic music filled the arena, and the AEW Dark Elevation logo lit up the screens as Trish Adora (whose long and grueling path to the number one contendership has finally culminated in this random match on Dark Elevation) came out of the tunnels. She actually looks like a total badass. Her face is determined and ready to go, and if her resume, time spent in ROH, brief stint in NXT, and training at the prestigious Team 3D Academy is any indication, she can definitely \u201cgo\u201d with the best of them.<\/p>\n<p>Mercedes Martinez\u2019s non-generic music filled the arena, and her name and logo lit up the screens. Martinez came out with the ROH title around her waist. She posed atop the stage and then shouted, \u201cLet\u2019s go!\u201d She looked every bit as determined to keep her title as Adora looked determined to take it. This match may be taking place on Dark Elevation (???), but these two competitors are selling it like it\u2019s a PPV, and I\u2019m starting to buy what they\u2019re selling.<\/p>\n<p>Once in the ring, Martinez ascended the turnbuckles and held up her gleaming title belt for all to see. (The crowd gave Martinez a nice ovation and seemed excited to see her wrestle \u2014 that usually bodes well. I\u2019m definitely rooting for Martinez here because I\u2019ve been high on her since long before she debuted in AEW, and I\u2019m happy seeing her hold a championship belt on AEW television.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLadies and Gentlemen,\u201d Justin Roberts said, \u201cyour AEW Dark Elevation (are you absolutely sure?) main event, set for one fall, is for the undisputed Ring of Honor Women\u2019s World Championship!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Man, Roberts is good. Had he not gotten into sports and wrestling, Roberts would have made a spectacular ringmaster, and I don\u2019t say that lightly. I\u2019ve heard more ringmasters than I can count, and very few could even touch Roberts\u2019s masterful mic work. He\u2019d be up there with Norman Barrett and Kit Haskett. Heck, he\u2019d even give John Lee Iverson a run for his money, and to my knowledge, Roberts doesn\u2019t even sing. (Sorry for this random aside; I\u2019m a circus person; we\u2019re weird.)<\/p>\n<p>(Also, the captions keep saying \u201cchimpanzee\u201d instead of \u201cchampionship,\u201d and it\u2019s throwing me.)<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, Adora got a nice ovation when she was announced. It didn\u2019t match Martinez\u2019s ovation, but it was surprisingly loud for someone not currently signed to the AEW roster. (An interesting note\u2014Martinez smiled at Adora\u2019s ovation. She seemed glad of it.) However, Martinez\u2019s ovation was by far the biggest of the night. You could see people on their feet cheering, and Martinez looked appreciative without compromising her steadfast expression of determination. (Also, I like the custom chyron. That makes this feel more special.)<\/p>\n<p>The referee held up the title, and the camera zoomed in on it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBeautiful look,\u201d Schiavone said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWow. Beautiful title,\u201d Henry agreed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAbsolutely,\u201d Wight said. \u201cThat is a beautiful title, and how lucky are we to have this championship match on our show.\u201d (Again, are you sure there wasn\u2019t a typo in the lineup?)<\/p>\n<p>Martinez and Adora shook hands and began circling one another, sizing each other up. Both women cagily entered a collar and elbow tie-up, and Adora made the first move of the match, attempting to trap Martinez in a wristlock. While it appeared Adora succeeded in applying the wristlock, Martinez used her other hand to grab Adora\u2019s arm and prevent her from wrenching the wristlock any further. This had the effect of leaving Adora trapped behind Martinez and unable to come around to Martinez\u2019s front side so as to ascertain a more domineering grip. Martinez managed to muscle Adora away from her back just enough that she could ring Adora\u2019s arm over her shoulder. The pain from the arm-ringing caused Adora to loosen her grip, and Martinez took advantage of this momentary diminishment by reversing the wristlock.<\/p>\n<p>Adora then used Martinez\u2019s own momentum against her and rang Martinez\u2019s arm. This allowed Adora to reverse the wristlock once again, this time to her favor. Martinez struggled against Adora, but when she realized she could not overpower Adora via her strength alone, Martinez rolled through the wristlock to break it up. Martinez then went for a low-level single-leg backdoor takedown. Martinez went for a leg lock from underneath Adora, but Adora used her left arm to lift her body off the mat and prevent Martinez from gaining the leverage she needed to execute the hold effectively.<\/p>\n<p>Martinez tried to trap Adora\u2019s neck with one leg, but Adora twisted her torso away from Martinez just enough to thwart her attempt. However, the strain of holding herself up while twisting her torso became too much for Adora, and while Adora did not fall, she loosened her joints enough to allow Martinez the opening she needed to apply her headscissors effectively. Adora escaped by contorting her body so she could roll over Martinez\u2019s, and once on top, Adora began punching Martinez\u2019s upper back. Martinez countered Adora\u2019s offense with blows of her own and was able to force Adora\u2019s head into a firm front facelock.<\/p>\n<p>Using the sheer might of her muscles, Adora pried Martinez\u2019s hands apart, rolled underneath Martinez\u2019s arm, and reversed Martinez\u2019s front facelock, turning it into a wristlock. Martinez bent her elbow and lifted her arm, improving her leverage enough to turn the wristlock into a Greco Roman knuckle lock. Adora began to heave Martinez toward the stage left ring ropes, but moments before she was able to press Martinez into the ropes, Martinez countered by snatching Adora in a side headlock. Adora struggled against the headlock, but Martinez refused to let go and executed a side headlock takeover.<\/p>\n<p>To counter this, Adora contorted herself until her legs were almost entirely over her head and grabbed Martinez\u2019s neck in a headscissors neck lock. Martinez struggled but was unable to escape. While maintaining the headscissors, Adora lifted her body off the mat using both arms. This gave Martinez an opening, and she strained her shoulders enough to squeeze underneath Adora\u2019s body and turn Adora over. This allowed Martinez to sit up. However, Martinez was still trapped in Adora\u2019s headlock. Martinez pulled at Adora\u2019s leg with her hands but could not free herself. In a last gasp effort, Martinez threw her torso backward and, in the process, threw Adora off balance. At first, I was sure this would be enough for Martinez to escape, but Adora held on, once more lifting herself off the mat with her hands.<\/p>\n<p>Adora began doing pushups while holding Martinez in the headscissors lock. This showboating succeeded in giving off the appearance of arrogance while making the headscissors look even more painful. Realizing how close she\u2019d come to escaping the first time, Martinez sat back up and once more threw her torso backward. This time, Martinez came close to escaping, but close was not enough, and Adora maintained her vice-like headscissors.<\/p>\n<p>Martinez then lifted her legs and threw them backward, much like she\u2019d done with her torso. This new variation of Martinez\u2019s defense was enough to turn Adora\u2019s iron-clad headscissors into a loose front facelock. With both women still on the mat, Martinez managed to rip her head away from Adora and clocked Adora with an open-handed strike. This sent Adora tumbling sideways. Martinez carted Adora off the mat and returned her to an upright position. However, before Adora could get in any offense of her own, Martinez slammed a fist into Adora\u2019s face and lit up her chest with a stiff knife-edge chop.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLooks like all that wrestling\u2019s out the window now,\u201d Henry lamented as Martinez\u2019s and Adora\u2019s aggression began to build steam.<\/p>\n<p>Martinez plowed three forearms into Adora\u2019s face.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI liked the unifying of those championships,\u201d Wight said. \u201cIt simplified who was the champion.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Martinez attempted to whip Adora across the ring, but Adora countered with a short arm reversal into a wristlock, followed by a roll-up in which Adora held onto Martinez\u2019s arm, forced Martinez\u2019s legs over her head, and then rolled across the backside of Martinez\u2019s legs, pushing herself into a bridge. She then used the backside of that bridge to pin Martinez while peripherally hooking both of her legs. (You don\u2019t see that every day.) Martinez kicked out at one.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLook at that!\u201d Henry exclaimed in response to Adora\u2019s unique pinning predicament.<\/p>\n<p>Adora lunged into a single leg takedown, this time without the backdoor push through, and took command of Martinez\u2019s leg. Then, with Martinez on her back, Adora tucked Martinez\u2019s leg under her arm, planted her foot into Martinez\u2019s waist, and allowed her body to fall backward. This pulled Martinez\u2019s left leg over her head and forced her shoulders to the mat in a way that looked impossible to get out of. (I have no idea what to call that pinning predicament because I have never seen anything quite like it in my life, but it looks both effective and excruciating.) Martinez tried to kick out at one, but the hold was too strong. Martinez tried to kick out at two, and this time, she managed to do so\u2026 barely. (You guys need to see this. Even if you read the report, you need to see it. If you don\u2019t have time. Make time.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat was called a stump puller,\u201d Henry named the pinning predicament Martinez had just escaped.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cReally loving the style of Trish Adora,\u201d Wight said, sounding remarkably sincere. \u201cPutting in new wrestling maneuvers and pinning combinations\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI love it!\u201d Henry interrupted.<\/p>\n<p>Martinez and Adora returned to their feet, and Adora instantly trapped Martinez in a vertical belly-to-back double underhook body lock. Martinez tried to stomp Adora\u2019s foot to escape the hold but was unsuccessful. Not panicking but definitely taking nothing for granted, Martinez coercively backed Adora into the upper left corner. There, Martinez clocked Adora with three stiff back elbows, and Adora was forced to relinquish her underhook body lock. Martinez slammed a barely open-handed punch into Adora\u2019s face. (These two were not holding back.)<\/p>\n<p>The referee immediately stepped in to make the count, but Martinez put her hands in the air and walked away, frustrated but determined to keep the match clean. Once Adora had been granted a reasonable moment to recover, Martinez ran back toward her, executing a back body splash, but Adora lurched out of the way at the last second. Martinez had no time to stop her momentum and crashed back-first against the upstage left turnbuckles.<\/p>\n<p>Adora attempted a running forearm, but Martinez caught her with a rising knee strike. Adora clutched her jaw, and Martinez sprinted out of the corner, taking Adora down with a high-angled clothesline. Adora got right back up, and Martinez took her right back down with a second clothesline. Martinez let out a battle cry as she went for a big boot, but Adora managed to shove Martinez\u2019s leg aside and went for a running knee strike. However, Martinez caught Adora mid-strike, hooked her leg, picked her up, and executed an exploding suplex. Upon impact, Adora howled and grimaced in agony.<\/p>\n<p>Adora used the middle rope to aid her as she crawled toward the downstage right corner turnbuckles. Adora pulled herself up into the scarecrow position, and Martinez took full advantage of Adora\u2019s prone position. Martinez connected with a running flying forearm, a running rope-assisted big boot, and a running rope-assisted basement dropkick. This offense left Adora crumpled in a heap, partially leaning on the turnbuckles and partially leaning over the bottom rope. Martinez grabbed Adora\u2019s left leg and pulled her out of the corner. She then hooked both of Adora\u2019s legs and covered Adora with all her might. However, Adora found the strength to kick out at two.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWow, that\u2019s some strong resilience right there,\u201d Henry said, emphasizing the word \u201cstrong.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Adora seemed only marginally with us, and Martinez wasted no time placing her in a sitting abdominal stretch. Adora reached out in vain for ropes that were not there, and Martinez tried to amplify the pain of her abdominal stretch by smashing her forearm into Adora\u2019s torso multiple times. After four stiff forearms (You could literally hear the thudding impact.), Martinez reached all the way across Adora\u2019s torso with both arms, tightening her torturous stretch and choking Adora with her shoulder in the process.<\/p>\n<p>Adora\u2019s hands flailed as she grabbed at thin air. Adora then managed to hook the crook of her arm around the top of Martinez\u2019s neck and used the leverage that positioning provided to roll herself out of the abdominal stretch. However, Martinez was quick to recapture Adora in a front facelock. Adora slowly countered Martinez\u2019s facelock into a wristlock and pounded at Martinez\u2019s face with six forearms. This allowed Adora to bulldoze Martinez into the upstage ring ropes.<\/p>\n<p>Adora used the momentum provided by the spring of the ropes to attempt an Irish whip, but Martinez reversed the whip, sending Adora into the downstage ring ropes. Martinez attempted a back body drop, but Adora executed a smooth float-over and landed on her feet. Adora pummeled Martinez from behind with a bevy of forearms, a wristlock, and a step-up enzuigiri.<\/p>\n<p>Both women looked devastated by the brutality of the fight, but neither looked anywhere close to giving up. Adora seized Martinez around the waist and executed a slow-motion bridging German suplex to earn a two-count and a \u201cWow!\u201d from Henry. (That \u201cWow\u201d was deserved.)<\/p>\n<p>Adora set back on her knees, frustrated and exasperated. Adora seized Martinez\u2019s arm and applied an over-the-top armbar which quickly turned into a top wristlock. The crowd began to clap in hopes of giving Martinez the extra motivation to get to her feet. Martinez fed off the crowd and muscled her way back up, unable to break Adora\u2019s lock.<\/p>\n<p>Martinez then spun 360 degrees, ducked underneath Adora\u2019s arm, hooked Adora\u2019s leg, and placed her in a fireman\u2019s carry. Before Martinez could execute her next offensive move, Adora writhed her way off Martinez\u2019s shoulders and landed on her feet. Adora swung a clothesline at Martinez, but Martinez ducked, captured Adora\u2019s torso, and executed The Three Amigos suplex combination.<\/p>\n<p>Martinez kept Adora in a front facelock as she pulled her back to her feet. Martinez then punched Adora\u2019s torso, draped Adora\u2019s shins over the top rope, and executed a toprope neckbreaker. Martinez locked Adora\u2019s legs around her own, punched Adora\u2019s ribcage hard enough the mics picked up the sound, and applied her Brass City Sleeper submission hold. Adora tried her best to not give in to the pain, but the submission hold was too much, and Martinez forced Adora to tap out.<\/p>\n<p>WINNER: Martinez in 6:00 to retain the ROH Women\u2019s Championship<\/p>\n<p><em>(David\u2019s Analysis: This was by far the best match on the show, and it was the best match Dark Elevation has seen in a good while. You should go out of your way to watch this. Not only is it an ROH Women\u2019s World Championship title match, but it was a well-fought contest between two resolute individuals bent on winning decisively. This match surpassed my expectations, and I hope it will surpass yours when you see it. This should have been on Dynamite, Rampage, or a PPV.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After the match, Martinez helped Adora up and shook her hand.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; After that, another advert for Dynamite aired.<\/p>\n<p><strong>FINAL THOUGHTS:<\/strong> The first five matches were mediocre affairs, but the night\u2019s final match was stellar. If I gave star ratings to Dark Elevation matches, this would easily be three to three-and-a-half stars. Based on this match alone, I think they should consider signing Adora. Her chemistry with Martinez is good enough that I would love to see a rematch. If you only have the time to watch one match on AEW Dark Elevation this week, watch the ROH Women\u2019s Championship bout. If you have time to watch two matches, check out Sakura &amp; Rose vs. Jay &amp; Sakazaki, and if you have time to watch three matches, watch The Acclaimed &amp; The Gunn Club vs. Clayton &amp; Chase &amp; GKM &amp; Donovan. However, I would like to emphasize one last time that you should find a way to make the time to see this ROH title defense. It only went 6 minutes, but Adora and Martinez made the most of every single second.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, I\u2019m still working on my sign-off, but until next week, remember, reading my columns will reduce your lifespan by the exact number of minutes it took you to read them.<\/p>\n<div class=\"pwtor-end-article-groups pwtor-entity-placement\" id=\"pwtor-1859780385\"><div id=\"pwtor-3403420681\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\nTHANK YOU FOR VISITING<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>AEW DARK ELEVATION REPORT MAY 16, 2022 TAPED 5\/11 IN LONG ISLAND, NY AIRED ON YOUTUBE.COM REPORT BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR Commentators: Paul Wight &amp; Mark Henry &amp; Tony Schiavone &amp; Anthony Ogogo (for <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2022\/05\/18\/5-16-aew-dark-elevation-report-bryants-famous-asides-henry-wight-quips-martinez-vs-adora-in-roh-title-match-cutler-vs-bear-bronson-acclaimed-team-with-gunn-club-more\/\" title=\"5\/16 AEW DARK ELEVATION REPORT: Bryant&#8217;s famous asides, Henry &#038; Wight quips, Martinez vs. Adora in ROH Title match, Cutler vs. Bear Bronson, Acclaimed team with Gunn Club, more\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":87359,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6423,6438,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-139750","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aew-dark","category-aew-tv-reports","category-tvshowsandevents"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/post\/2019\/10\/AEWDARKLOGO.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139750","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=139750"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139750\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":139753,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139750\/revisions\/139753"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/87359"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=139750"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=139750"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=139750"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}