{"id":162307,"date":"2023-07-17T12:52:42","date_gmt":"2023-07-17T17:52:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/?p=162307"},"modified":"2023-07-17T12:52:42","modified_gmt":"2023-07-17T17:52:42","slug":"aew-collision-hits-misses-7-15-ftr-vs-juice-jay-soho-vs-willow-q-t-marshall-hobbs-segment-starks-punk-starks-cheating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2023\/07\/17\/aew-collision-hits-misses-7-15-ftr-vs-juice-jay-soho-vs-willow-q-t-marshall-hobbs-segment-starks-punk-starks-cheating\/","title":{"rendered":"AEW COLLISION HITS &#038; MISSES (7\/15): FTR vs. Juice &#038; Jay, Soho vs. Willow, Q.T. Marshall-Hobbs segment, Starks-Punk, Starks cheating"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"pwtor-3765044777\" class=\"pwtor-before-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><hr \/><b>SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)... <\/b>\r\n\r\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/widget.spreaker.com\/player?show_id=3076978&theme=light&playlist=false&playlist-continuous=false&autoplay=false&live-autoplay=false&chapters-image=true&episode_image_position=right&hide-logo=false&hide-likes=false&hide-comments=false&hide-sharing=false&hide-download=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"140px\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe>\r\n<hr \/><\/div><p>Heyyy! Welcome back to the only Hits &amp; Misses column that answers the question, \u201cWhat if words got drunk?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>COLD OPEN \u2014 HIT (BUT MORE \u201cTEE-BALL\u201d THAN \u201cBALLPARK\u201d THIS TIME)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>These opening segments continue to capture my attention, and that is not an easy thing to do because my brain is 30 percent goldfish. My only note is that I wish this one had ended in a cliffhanger like last week\u2019s did. For example, I think it would have added intrigue if FTR and\/or Bullet Club Gold cut their promos while walking to the Gorilla position.<\/p>\n<p>Fun note (depending on your definition of fun): When I produced and promoted drag pageants for National Entertainer of the Year, I called our Assistant Stage Manager\u2019s position the \u201cGorilla position\u201d because it was just off stage, and despite most of the performers not even being alive for the majority of Gorilla Monsoon\u2019s career, a surprising number of them got the reference!)<\/p>\n<p>As for the contents of this cold open:<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; FTR looked like the adults in the room, and Juice Robinson looked like he had restless face syndrome.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Ruby Soho looked like what would happen if Yankee Candle purchased Hot Topic, and Willow Nightingale reminded me of what would happen if someone said they were \u201cmore than happy to help\u201d and then took the \u201cmore than happy\u201d part too seriously.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Ricky Starks looked like the friends I wished I\u2019d had in the &#8217;90s, and C.M. Punk looked like the ones I actually did.<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-3457245533\" class=\"pwtor-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p>Still, I would not have changed any of it because if I wanted normal, I\u2019d watch the news (in a country that isn\u2019t America.)<\/p>\n<p><strong>FTR vs. TEAM \u201cWHITE JUICE\u201d \u2014 OMG!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>After the show, I was on Threads (which is kind of like the \u201cPeloton of apps\u201d \u2014 as in, everybody wanted one but then stopped using it after six days.) and one of the Threaders (that doesn\u2019t sound right) on AEW\u2019s Thread (still doesn\u2019t sound right) called this match \u201cthe greatest tag team match of all time.\u201d They\u2019re wrong. However, I wouldn\u2019t argue with them if they said it was in their top ten because it\u2019s in mine.<\/p>\n<p>While watching this match, I kept thinking to myself, \u201cFTR are not normal.\u201d They look normal; they sound normal, and they even cut normal promos, but they are not normal because normal people don\u2019t sample classics like they\u2019re mixing Beyonce\u2019s latest album. Either these guys won a fiddle-playing contest in Georgia, or they blackmailed a wishing well because there is not enough hard work in the world to account for normal wrestlers having this many classics in nine years.<\/p>\n<p>And while I\u2019m busy praising people, it takes two to tango. Jay White is the total package, and Juice Robinson is far more talented than his facial-tourettes indicates. All four men made this match the masterpiece it was, and I am proud to mark out for it. You know, when I tell my friends that professional wrestlers are artists, a lot of them look at me like I\u2019m stupid, and while they\u2019re probably right, it\u2019s not because wrestling isn\u2019t an art \u2014 it\u2019s because they haven\u2019t seen wrestling like this.<\/p>\n<p>If you think that sounds like hyperbole, it\u2019s not. This match was a work of art. If the Louvre displayed wrestling matches, this match would be there, and if a Hits &amp; Misses column displayed star ratings, you would see five of these: *****.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RUBY SOHO vs. WILLOW NIGHTINGALE \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I feel so bad for Ruby Soho and Willow Nightingale. If I had to follow that last match, I\u2019d have thrown myself out of a window and landed in New Zealand. There ought to be a mercy rule in wrestling, where everyone else gets to go home every time FTR pulls an FTR.<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-4100224959\" class=\"pwtor-content-1 pwtor-entity-placement\"><!-- Tag ID: pwtorchcom_test_300x600 -->\r\n<div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __300x600\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p>That said, this match was good. It wasn\u2019t the greatest women\u2019s match I\u2019ve ever seen; it wasn\u2019t Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka at WrestleMania 34, and it wasn\u2019t Iyo Sky vs. Bianca Belair at Backlash, but it was still a good, solid, and entertaining match that I think a lot of people would have enjoyed if they\u2019d seen most of it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>COMMERCIAL BREAK THREE MINUTES INTO THE WOMEN\u2019S MATCH \u2014 MISS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>How much you enjoyed seeing something happen often correlates to how much of it you saw. Some of the best moments of this week\u2019s Soho vs. Nightingale match happened during the commercial break! (The only reason I know this is because my boyfriend is from Australia, and we watch Collision together on Discord while he eats crocodile burgers from Outback Steakhouse and rides a kangaroo, I assume.)<\/p>\n<p>At one point during the commercial break, Soho grabbed Nightingale\u2019s hair and pointed her head toward the Owen Hart Tournament Trophy, and said, \u201cYou see that? You see that trophy? That trophy is mine!\u201d Soho said this with such conviction that, despite my best judgment (which is only slightly better than Ezra Miller\u2019s approval rating), I actually started to think she would win.<\/p>\n<p>There was a lot to like about this match, including an Oklahoma Stampede by Nightingale, a straitjacket by Soho, Nightingale\u2019s Hart-pink onesie, Soho\u2019s Hart-pink shoes, and an ending that managed to pop me despite the last match leaving me as popped out as a used-up cap gun.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cTOY STORY\u201d TONY IN A WOODY HAT \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That was most the Q.T. Marshall thing I have ever seen that didn\u2019t involve Q.T. Marshall.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Q.T. MARSHALL &amp; POWERHOUSE HOBBS SEGMENT \u2014 MISS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I really liked what they did with Q.T. Marshall and Powerhouse Hobbs last week, and I was really hoping to see Q.T. Marshall get the wonder knocked out of his bread this week. However, despite Q.T. Marshall continuing to prove he is the hotel room artwork of human beings, Hobbs declined to pulverize him into the crumpled pile of Hawaiian shirts and water bottle sweat we all know he is secretly made of.<\/p>\n<p><strong>THE HOUSE OF BLACK vs. ARTEMIS SPENCER &amp; RANDY MYERS \u2014 FINE, IG<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This was what it was \u2014 a quick squash. Black hit a stiff-looking kick; the match ended with a Black Mass, and I loved the names of the two local wrestlers.<\/p>\n<p>Also, if resting witch-face were a contest, Julia Hart should have a heart and stop beating the crap out of Bette Midler.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RICKY STARKS vs. C.M. PUNK \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A guy in the crowd kept holding up a sign that said, \u201cCrying Man-Child Phil,\u201d and I hope his balls get stuck in a car door. (I am not a fan of how Punk conducted himself at the All Out media scrum either, but I\u2019m trying to enjoy a match between two very talented wrestlers. It\u2019s fine to express your disdain for Punk\u2019s misconduct but do it to a cashier at Wendy\u2019s.)<\/p>\n<p>Despite Rudey Von Plungerdick\u2019s attempts to distract the world with his personal grievances, I enjoyed the heck out of this match! The dueling chants of \u201cLet\u2019s Go Ricky!\u201d\/\u201cC.M. Punk!\u201d added a lot to the electric atmosphere, and both Starks and Punk know how to get the most out of their offensive moves.<\/p>\n<p><strong>STARKS\u2019 HEEL TURN \u2014 MISS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not going to entirely write off the possibility that AEW can make Starks\u2019 heel turn work, but I feel like it would have gone better had he screwed over someone besides the one person the audience wanted him to screw over.<\/p>\n<p>Also, the Australian feed of the show missed Starks yanking his trophy out of Jushin \u201cThunder\u201d Liger\u2019s hand, and I felt like that was an important part of the night. Luckily, I was able to rewatch this on the U.S. American feed, which sadly isn\u2019t something I can say about the Taya Valkyrie vs. Toni Storm vs. Satellite Storm match on Battle of the Belts.<\/p>\n<p><strong>FINAL THOUGHTS:<\/strong> This show was a different format than last week\u2019s show, and it will be interesting to see if the ratings for this week\u2019s show builds throughout its progress like last week\u2019s show did. It is my personal opinion that the second half of the show should have followed last week\u2019s format so that there was something for everyone, including those who did not enjoy the FTR vs. Bullet Club match because they like being wrong about things.<\/p>\n<p><strong>SHOW GRADE: A<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, I\u2019m still working on my sign-off, but until next week, remember, when you\u2019re making a serious point, don\u2019t do it in a room full of balloons.<\/p>\n<p><em>(Unsettling selfies of David Bryant flexing in a mirror can be found on his Twitter page @IamDavidBryant; videos of David Bryant\u2019s not-so-great figure skating can be found on his Instagram page @IamDavidBryant, and a profile picture sitting above an empty void of absolutely nothing can be found on David Bryant\u2019s Threads page @IamDavidBryant. Also, having just now read back over this paragraph, I feel like I could have written about myself in a more concise manner, which, coincidentally, is also the working title of everything I\u2019ve ever written.)<\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><strong>RELATED&#8230;<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2023\/07\/15\/aew-collision-results-7-15-punk-vs-starks-soho-vs-willow-in-owen-hart-cup-finals-ftr-vs-jay-white-juice\/\">AEW COLLISION RESULTS (7\/15): Keller\u2019s report on Punk vs. Starks, Soho vs. Willow in Owen Hart Cup Finals, FTR vs. Jay White &amp; Juice<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"pwtor-end-article-groups pwtor-entity-placement\" id=\"pwtor-1217839101\"><div id=\"pwtor-1249943963\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\nTHANK YOU FOR VISITING<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>Heyyy! Welcome back to the only Hits &amp; Misses column that answers the question, \u201cWhat if words got drunk?\u201d COLD OPEN \u2014 HIT (BUT MORE \u201cTEE-BALL\u201d THAN \u201cBALLPARK\u201d THIS TIME) These opening segments continue to <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2023\/07\/17\/aew-collision-hits-misses-7-15-ftr-vs-juice-jay-soho-vs-willow-q-t-marshall-hobbs-segment-starks-punk-starks-cheating\/\" title=\"AEW COLLISION HITS &#038; MISSES (7\/15): FTR vs. Juice &#038; Jay, Soho vs. Willow, Q.T. Marshall-Hobbs segment, Starks-Punk, Starks cheating\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":162112,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[52,28,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-162307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opnionandanalysis","category-specialists_hitsandmisses","category-specialists"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/post\/2023\/07\/Screenshot-2023-07-14-at-12.32.28-AM.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=162307"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162307\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":162308,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162307\/revisions\/162308"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/162112"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=162307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=162307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=162307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}