{"id":169141,"date":"2023-11-14T23:34:12","date_gmt":"2023-11-15T05:34:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/?p=169141"},"modified":"2023-11-15T19:12:08","modified_gmt":"2023-11-16T01:12:08","slug":"aew-collision-hits-misses-11-11-cj-perrys-character-statlanders-promos-garcias-dancing-weiner-punches-hangmans-son-continental-classic-tk-announcement-more","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2023\/11\/14\/aew-collision-hits-misses-11-11-cj-perrys-character-statlanders-promos-garcias-dancing-weiner-punches-hangmans-son-continental-classic-tk-announcement-more\/","title":{"rendered":"AEW COLLISION HITS &#038; MISSES (11\/11): CJ Perry&#8217;s character, Statlander&#8217;s promos, Garcia&#8217;s dancing, Weiner Punches, Hangman&#8217;s son, Continental Classic TK announcement, more"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"pwtor-4121699837\" class=\"pwtor-before-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><hr \/><b>SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)... <\/b>\r\n\r\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/widget.spreaker.com\/player?show_id=3076978&theme=light&playlist=false&playlist-continuous=false&autoplay=false&live-autoplay=false&chapters-image=true&episode_image_position=right&hide-logo=false&hide-likes=false&hide-comments=false&hide-sharing=false&hide-download=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"140px\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe>\r\n<hr \/><\/div><h3>AEW COLLISION &#8211; HITS &amp; MISSES<br \/>\nNOV 11, 2023<br \/>\nOAKLAND, CALIF.<br \/>\nAIRED LIVE ON TNT<br \/>\nBY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR<\/h3>\n<p><em>Commentators: Nigel McGuiness, Tony Schiavone<\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>&#8211; Hey! Welcome to another AEW Collision Hits &amp; Misses column! I am so sorry this column is so late. I live in the a\u2014crack of bumf\u2014-, and my electricity is secretly being controlled by the monster in NOPE. Therefore, this column will be written while my nieces are running around me like hooligans sucking cocaine out of a PEZ dispenser. And despite my natural instincts, I am not going to Christian-Cage them into a basement I dug in the backyard because I love them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>COLD OPEN \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Adam Copeland asked, \u201cWhat happens when an icon, an iconoclast, and a freak walk into a wrestling ring?\u201d I don\u2019t know, but I\u2019m pretty sure the answer is why aliens avoid Earth.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Daniel Garcia asked if we wanted to see him dance over Dalton Castle\u2019s fallen body, and I don\u2019t know about my straight readers, but I\u2019m pretty sure the answer is yes.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; The Righteous asked if we \u201cgot what they were saying,\u201d and I\u2019m pretty sure the answer is no.<\/p>\n<p><strong>DANIEL GARCIA vs. ANDRADE EL IDOLO \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>These are two great athletes who gave us everything we could expect them to give, including a Miz jacket-entrance and a dance inspired by the resting face of a 1980s video game character.<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-2705341703\" class=\"pwtor-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p><strong>C.J. PERRY\u2019s CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT \u2014 MISS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I like C.J. Perry, and I\u2019ve always considered her to be a good actress. (Her Russian heel character is still one of the best-performed wrestling characters of all time.) However, even the best actresses need a good script (according to Joan Crawford, whose ghost lives in Toni Storm now), and whatever script Perry is reading from appears to have been written by 100 percent of Akiva Goldsman\u2019s creative decisions before 1999.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: I feel like I should introduce my nieces to video games. Those involve sitting still, right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>MIRO CARESSES A MONITOR \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>After this match, Miro shook his head and lovingly caressed a monitor so hard that the tips of his fingers left white streaks on the screen. (That man is a very, very strong man.)<\/p>\n<p><strong>DALTON CASTLE vs. NICK WAYNE \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Dalton Castle played with a Persian cat for four minutes, and the cat won.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: My niece just pulled my hair. There is now gum in my hair.<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-899708804\" class=\"pwtor-content-1 pwtor-entity-placement\"><!-- Tag ID: pwtorchcom_test_300x600 -->\r\n<div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __300x600\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p><strong>CHRISTIAN CAGE EXISTING IN PUBLIC \u2014 MEGA-HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>All of it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>HANGMAN PROMO \u2014MISS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My main takeaway from this was that Adam Page wants to watch his son pee on Swerve Strickland. Cool.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: One of my favorite Texas Death Matches was Adam Page vs. Lance Archer (You can watch some of that match <a href=\"https:\/\/m.facebook.com\/AEW\/videos\/495042998668929\/\">HERE<\/a>), and if this match follows a similar formula (crazy but not so crazy it loses the plot to Akiva Goldsman), it could end up surprising everyone. I\u2019m not predicting this match will be Saturday\u2019s match of the night, but there is certainly a universe in which it could be.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RUSH &amp; DRALISTICO vs. J.D. DRAKE &amp; ANTHONY HENRY \u2014 MINOR-MISS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This got more time than Dalton Castle vs. The Persian Cat?<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: Rush is a serviceable babyface, and there are good ways to showcase him, but I\u2019m not sure teaming him with Dralistico and Preston Vance is the best way. However, I\u2019m open to being proven wrong on this, and I hope I will be.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: It wasn\u2019t gum. It was slime my niece says she made herself.<\/p>\n<p><strong>HOUSE OF BLACK PROMO \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I loved Malakia Black\u2019s promise to pursue the AEW Tag Team Championships, and I really liked Julia Hart describing Willow\u2019s ability to overcome the effects of her black mist as \u201crejecting my gift.\u201d My only note would be that Julia Hart shouldn\u2019t cross her hands in front of her in a charming manner while cutting a scathing promo; she looked like what would happen if an American Girl doll were sold at Hot Topic.<\/p>\n<p><strong>STATLANDER &amp; WILLOW INTERVIEW \u2014 MISS<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Kris Statlander forgot what her title belt was.<\/p>\n<p>Listen, all it would take to end this community-theater-car-crash-word-carnival is a manager. So, please\u2026 Get. Her. A. Manager.*<\/p>\n<p>*See last week\u2019s column.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: Have you ever noticed how small children have really sharp nails? Well, my nieces are small children, and they hurt.<\/p>\n<p><strong>DARIUS MARTIN (BROTHER OF SPIDERMAN) vs. RODRICK STRONG \u2014 MINOR-HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Speaking of small children, Dante Martin is still injured, and I hope we get good news on that front soon.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: A highlight of this match was seeing the crowd pop for Rodrick Strong\u2019s \u201cFDR moment,\u201d and unlike the anachronistic movie \u201cPearl Harbor,\u201d this one was being cringe on purpose.<\/p>\n<p><strong>WEINER PUNCH \u2014 MEGA-MISS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>For the love of God\u2026<\/p>\n<p><strong>TONY KHAN ANNOUNCES DANIELSON IS HAVING HIS LAST MATCH AT ALL IN, AND YOU SHOULD BUY TICKETS NOW \u2014 MINOR-HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This did not feel as exploitative as it sounds when typed out.<\/p>\n<p><strong>TONY KHAN MAKES AN UNANNOUNCED ANNOUNCEMENT \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In this segment, Tony Khan announced that AEW was introducing a new round Robin-style tournament called The Continental G1assic.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: Kudos to Tony Khan for not announcing this announcement ahead of time. I cannot emphasize enough how much that helped this segment to not suck.<\/p>\n<p><strong>JULIA HART vs. WILLOW NIGHTINGALE \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This was a stellar match, and I am excited to see Julia Hart wrestle for the Women\u2019s Title. That said, I really hope Tony Storm wins this one. Hart has the perfect built-in excuse because, unlike other wrestlers, Storm is already very familiar with Hart\u2019s black-and-white style.<\/p>\n<p><strong>STARKS &amp; BIG BILL PROMO \u2014 MINOR-HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Bill of the Big family, possibly related to Show, is getting very good at doing words, and I am surprised.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: Speaking of \u201csurprised,\u201d my nieces found a Nerf gun. I did not know they owned a Nerf gun. I am now very aware.<\/p>\n<p><strong>POWERHOUSE HOBBS vs ALEXANDER\u2014 MINOR-HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The main purpose of this squash match was to set up a stare-down between Powerhouse Hobbs and Big Show, who was able to stand up without assistance.<\/p>\n<p><strong>CALLIS CUTS A PROMO \u2014 MEGA-HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m really enjoying Kyle Fletcher as a member of the Don Callis family. Fletcher\u2019s new funeral director look helps to separate him from his old tag team, and that is a good thing. By removing Aussie Open\u2019s colors from Kyle\u2019s presentation, AEW is increasing the chance fans will consider Fletcher\u2019s solo run a byproduct of Fletcher\u2019s own abilities and not a byproduct of his partner\u2019s injuries. Also, Callis\u2019s wood-tick line was terrific.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: I have confiscated the Nerf gun.<\/p>\n<p><strong>FTR INTERVIEW \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>FTR did a stellar job of discussing the value of starting their journey down the road of what I hope will be a future tag team championship victory.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: My nieces and I are discussing the value of starting their journey down the road of what I hope will be a future nap.<\/p>\n<p><strong>STING &amp; ADAM COPELAND &amp; DARBY ALLIN vs. LANCE ARCHER &amp; THE RIGHTEOUS \u2014 HIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This was a quality main event match, and Adam Copeland looked ten years younger tonight. I don&#8217;t know if he accidentally bumped into Beth Pheonix while she was wearing a questionable amount of retinol or if he accidentally bumped into Billy Gunn while he was sweating, but whatever happened, he should do it every week.<\/p>\n<p>Side Note: My nieces have agreed to nap.<\/p>\n<p><strong>FINAL THOUGHTS<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There wasn\u2019t anything wrong with this week\u2019s show, but there also wasn\u2019t much to write home about. Honestly, I don\u2019t find this episode\u2019s lack of newsworthy content to be particularly offensive. Not every show is going to be Grand Slam or Winter Is Coming, and every story needs its share of \u201cdowns,\u201d so that its \u201cups\u201d feel that much higher. That said, if next week\u2019s go-home episode delivers in the same way as this week\u2019s episode, that delivery would be a miscarry.<\/p>\n<p><strong>SHOW GRADE:<\/strong> C+<\/p>\n<p>Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, I\u2019m still working on my sign-off, but until next week, remember, the evil of Nerf guns may come in many foams, but some of them are niece.<\/p>\n<p><em>(David Bryant\u2019s new bathroom-selfies can be found on his \u201cArtist Formerly Known as Twitter\u201d account @IamDavidBryant; a video of David Bryant being knocked unconscious by an exploding television set can be found on his Instagram account @IamDavidBryant, and David Bryant\u2019s Threads account is threadbare and also located @IamDavidBryant because David Bryant sucks at usernames. David is a published author, circus artist, drag promoter, male pageant winner, unrenowned musician, sloppy figure skater, and inventor of the world\u2019s first fork with a stick in it. Less impressively, he studied screenwriting at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts.)<\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><strong>RECOMMENDED NEXT:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2023\/11\/11\/aew-collision-results-11-11-kellers-report-on-sting-darby-edge-vs-archer-the-righteous-garcia-vs-andrade-julia-vs-willow\/\">AEW COLLISION RESULTS (11\/11): Keller\u2019s report on Sting &amp; Darby &amp; Edge vs. Archer &amp; The Righteous, Garcia vs. Andrade, Julia vs. Willow<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>OR CHECK THIS OUT AT PROWRESTLING.NET: <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/prowrestling.net\/site\/2023\/11\/13\/mcguires-mondays-the-five-most-confusing-things-in-pro-wrestling-today\/\">McGuire\u2019s Mondays: The five most confusing things in pro wrestling today<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"pwtor-end-article-groups pwtor-entity-placement\" id=\"pwtor-888708999\"><div id=\"pwtor-663106678\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\nTHANK YOU FOR VISITING<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>AEW COLLISION &#8211; HITS &amp; MISSES NOV 11, 2023 OAKLAND, CALIF. AIRED LIVE ON TNT BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR Commentators: Nigel McGuiness, Tony Schiavone &#8211; Hey! Welcome to another AEW Collision Hits &amp; Misses <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2023\/11\/14\/aew-collision-hits-misses-11-11-cj-perrys-character-statlanders-promos-garcias-dancing-weiner-punches-hangmans-son-continental-classic-tk-announcement-more\/\" title=\"AEW COLLISION HITS &#038; MISSES (11\/11): CJ Perry&#8217;s character, Statlander&#8217;s promos, Garcia&#8217;s dancing, Weiner Punches, Hangman&#8217;s son, Continental Classic TK announcement, more\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":168958,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[46,52,28,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-169141","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spotlightarticles","category-opnionandanalysis","category-specialists_hitsandmisses","category-specialists"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/post\/2023\/11\/F-mzl89WUAAaCKK.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169141","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=169141"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169141\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":169186,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169141\/revisions\/169186"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/168958"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=169141"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=169141"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=169141"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}