{"id":53966,"date":"2018-01-13T14:21:29","date_gmt":"2018-01-13T20:21:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/?p=53966"},"modified":"2018-01-13T14:21:29","modified_gmt":"2018-01-13T20:21:29","slug":"impact-hits-misses-1-11-garzas-opponents-shocked-rips-off-pants-lax-continues-highlight-entire-company-jimmy-jacobs-lack-impact","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2018\/01\/13\/impact-hits-misses-1-11-garzas-opponents-shocked-rips-off-pants-lax-continues-highlight-entire-company-jimmy-jacobs-lack-impact\/","title":{"rendered":"IMPACT HITS &#038; MISSES 1\/11: Why are Garza&#8217;s opponents shocked when he rips off his pants? LAX continues to be highlight of entire company, Jimmy Jacobs lack of impact"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"pwtor-1983305752\" class=\"pwtor-before-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><hr \/><b>SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)... <\/b>\r\n\r\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/widget.spreaker.com\/player?show_id=3076978&theme=light&playlist=false&playlist-continuous=false&autoplay=false&live-autoplay=false&chapters-image=true&episode_image_position=right&hide-logo=false&hide-likes=false&hide-comments=false&hide-sharing=false&hide-download=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"140px\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe>\r\n<hr \/><\/div><h3>HITS<\/h3>\n<p><strong>LAX and OVE:<\/strong> Sorry to repeat myself for months on end, but LAX is doing the best work in this company by a mile. Everything else is flat, boring, and almost entirely uninteresting, yet every week LAX delivers. They\u2019ve also made OVE a cool act (with the help of Sami Callihan) and together the teams have given Impact its best feud since Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards.<\/p>\n<p><strong>That ATT Guy that Always Gets Hurt Gets Hurt Again:<\/strong> The neck brace guy got knocked off the ring apron and I had a good chuckle. It\u2019s unfortunate they didn\u2019t wait longer to do the spot, as that was the most fun part of the match. And for those keeping score at home, yes, these are the exact same hits I gave last week. Nothing else for me on the show moved into the territory of \u201cgood.\u201d Ah heck, I\u2019ll come up with another one. Hold on\u2026<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dezmond Xavier:<\/strong> In the Don Callis era, these random six-man X-Division matches need to end. Nobody looks all that good coming out of them; it\u2019s just a bunch of random spots with no storyline support. However, if someone did shine on Thursday, it would be Xavier, who busted out a few crazy athletic moves with ease. It\u2019s too bad the commentary team wasn\u2019t all that impressed.<\/p>\n<h3>MISSES<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Turd Cutters:<\/strong> The lamest wrestling insult of 2017 for me was Mickie James\u2019 repeated \u201cbiscuit butt\u201d attack on Alexa Bliss. I don\u2019t know what a biscuit butt is. Is that even a bad thing? Anyway, Johnny Impact set a really high bar for lameness by calling Eli Drake and Alberto El Patron \u201cturd cutters.\u201d I simply can\u2019t imagine a fully grown adult, who is an entertainer, coming up with that line in his free time and thinking it\u2019s so clever he has to use it on air. Turn this man heel now!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bad Advertising:<\/strong> Impact\u2019s own website promoted a tease of someone challenging EC III for his Grand Championship. That didn&#8217;t happen on TV. Instead, we got a regular match with Carter vs. Petey Williams and then babyface Matt Sydal interfered. Also, they couldn\u2019t find any spot on the show to work in Fallah Bahh? He had the best crowd reaction of his career in Impact so far on the previous week\u2019s show and this week he was nowhere to be seen.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Garza\u2019s Pants:<\/strong> This has made the misses multiple times now, but this was the worst example yet of how stupid this spot is. The one-armed Garza got Caleb Konley and Trevor Lee to stop in the middle of the ring while he ripped off his pants. The shock on their face led us to believe they saw something genuinely&#8230; shocking, not something Garaza does in every week. It would be far more shocking if his pants stayed on for an entire match. They were then so stunned it took them seconds to recover, where they then turned around into a double dropkick. It\u2019s about as dumb as it gets.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Spinelli vs. Van Ness:<\/strong> This was a lousy match that was nowhere near what the top talent in WWE\u2019s women&#8217;s divisions can offer. KC Spinelli went for a pin after a suplex type move, even though Van Ness wasn\u2019t even close to having her shoulders on the match, but she kept on trying for a few seconds. Everything else was various levels of clunky too, and then babyface Allie also went for a cheap attack on a heel. I guess you could say she\u2019s getting even, but I\u2019d still rather have the hero just stand up to the villain and tell them to meet them face-to-face.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Chandler Park:<\/strong> It\u2019s time to end this angle and reveal that Park and Park aren\u2019t actually cousins. Ethan Page is Canadian, so my working theory at the moment is that he is basing the Chandler act off the Harold character from the Red Green show (it used to air on PBS stateside). Their mannerisms and look are just too similar to be a coincidence. Even if it\u2019s not, whatever he\u2019s doing doesn\u2019t make for entertaining TV. It\u2019s far too cartoonish and obnoxious at the moment to have any staying power.<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-293030238\" class=\"pwtor-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p><strong>Jimmy Jacobs:<\/strong> It doesn\u2019t seem this long, but Jimmy Jacobs has been in Impact for over two months now. To this point, they haven\u2019t done a single interesting thing with him. He showed up briefly on commentary a couple times and now he\u2019s randomly affiliated with Kongo Kong. Can\u2019t this guy still wrestle? Can\u2019t he write a script and make this show better? Whatever buzz he generated from joining the promotion is long, long gone.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Obligatory Awful Announcing Miss:<\/strong> Desmond Xavier ended the six-man tag by busting out an incredible looking Spinning Corkscrew Senton. All Jeremy Borash had to say was \u201cspinning corkscrew senton\u201d with the enthusiasm of finding out his driver\u2019s license was about to expire so he\u2019d have to go to the DMV that day. Not showing any excitement badly hurts the innovative and dangerous moves performed by the wrestlers. If J.B. can\u2019t find it in himself to care about what\u2019s going on in front of him, then he should step aside so someone else can do the job. Keep him on as a director of backstage segments, just don\u2019t let him be the voice of the company anymore.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><strong>NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK&#8217;S COLUMN:\u00a0<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2018\/01\/05\/impact-hits-misses-1-4-ovw-vs-lax-x-division-title-change-grand-championship-james-storm-swan-song-chandler-parks-debut\/\">IMPACT HITS &amp; MISSES 1\/4: OVW vs. LAX, X Division Title change, Grand Championship, James Storm swan song, Chandler Parks debut<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"pwtor-end-article-groups pwtor-entity-placement\" id=\"pwtor-206442724\"><div id=\"pwtor-4196191279\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\nTHANK YOU FOR VISITING<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>HITS LAX and OVE: Sorry to repeat myself for months on end, but LAX is doing the best work in this company by a mile. Everything else is flat, boring, and almost entirely uninteresting, yet <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2018\/01\/13\/impact-hits-misses-1-11-garzas-opponents-shocked-rips-off-pants-lax-continues-highlight-entire-company-jimmy-jacobs-lack-impact\/\" title=\"IMPACT HITS &#038; MISSES 1\/11: Why are Garza&#8217;s opponents shocked when he rips off his pants? LAX continues to be highlight of entire company, Jimmy Jacobs lack of impact\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":53970,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[52,28,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53966","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opnionandanalysis","category-specialists_hitsandmisses","category-specialists"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/post\/2018\/01\/JacobsJimmyWK3x2_600.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53966","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53966"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53966\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":53972,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53966\/revisions\/53972"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53970"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53966"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53966"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53966"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}