{"id":9104,"date":"2016-01-26T13:38:09","date_gmt":"2016-01-26T19:38:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/?p=9104"},"modified":"2016-01-28T09:51:26","modified_gmt":"2016-01-28T15:51:26","slug":"9104","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2016\/01\/26\/9104\/","title":{"rendered":"McNEILL&#8217;s Day-Old Barely Alive Rumble Blog\u00a0&#8211; Walking through the show one quip at a time"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"pwtor-1555644293\" class=\"pwtor-before-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><hr \/><b>SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)... <\/b>\r\n\r\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/widget.spreaker.com\/player?show_id=3076978&theme=light&playlist=false&playlist-continuous=false&autoplay=false&live-autoplay=false&chapters-image=true&episode_image_position=right&hide-logo=false&hide-likes=false&hide-comments=false&hide-sharing=false&hide-download=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"140px\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe>\r\n<hr \/><\/div><p class=\"p1\">We are LIVE at the McNeill North American Command Center for this on-demand blog of Royal Rumble 2016 on the WWE Network.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">How does one work a 14-hour shift, then deliver a coherent running dialogue of a WWE pay-per-view?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I don&#8217;t know, and I doubt we&#8217;ll find out tonight.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">As much as I enjoy the Kickoff shows, I&#8217;m going to skip ahead to the actual match.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I&#8217;m funny that way.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Your announcers are Cole, JBL, and Byron Saxton.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>No, I don&#8217;t spend as much time with Saxton as I do with Mrs. McNeill.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>When we hit that point, it&#8217;ll be time to call the marriage counselor and the people in the freshly-starched white coats.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Damien Sandow gets the Hallelujah Chorus entrance, and the crowd loves it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Either that, or they think Easter has come early.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">It&#8217;s Them Darn Dudleys vs. The Ascension vs. Swagger &amp; Henry vs. Sandow &amp; Young.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Winners are in the Royal Rumble, where Roman Reigns will eliminate them in short order.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We invite you to join the Rumble conversation via social media by using the hashtag #PatIsStillAvoidingSpoilers.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I see some of the Impact Zone regulars got premium seats for tonight&#8217;s show.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Cole introduces the Real Strong Americans by saying &#8220;For those of you who have been watching WWE Main Event.&#8221;<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The crowd, of course, is chanting for Chad Gable.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Swagger is tagged in.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Cue JBL with the Oklahoma jokes.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>All eight guys hit the ring, which means we&#8217;re going to commercial.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Camp WWE is on its way.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I hope Wade&#8217;s assigned that recap to\u2026anyone else.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Saxton points out that D-Von has never worked the Rumble match before.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Pretty sure The Ascension hasn&#8217;t done it either.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The Orlando crowd is watching something other than the match.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;What if Roman Reigns gets eliminated in the first two minutes of the Rumble?&#8221;<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I&#8217;d probably be paying closer attention at that point.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Bubba hits the 3D but Swagger makes the save and Henry pins the Ascension guy.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I&#8217;m one for one!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Swagger and Henry eye each other warily.<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-13940089\" class=\"pwtor-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p class=\"p1\">Jerry Lawler is also one-for-one.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Nice to know somebody reads my preview.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rich Brennan is in the Social Media Lounge with the Social Outcasts.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I presume the newest member of the Social Outcasts is Tom Phillips.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Bo Dallas appears to be the peacemaker in this group.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Are all four of these guys in the Rumble?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>How did that get past Mr. McMahon?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Back to the panel, where Lawler is field testing some jokes from the nineties.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I trust no one will mind if I jump to the pay-per-view?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Then.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Now.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Forever.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Limo.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The show opens with the arrival of Mr. McMahon and his daughter.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Vince remembers JoJo&#8217;s name.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The McMahons talk about the great opportunity Roman has tonight.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>&#8220;It&#8217;s not nice to make fun of JoJo, dad.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;Fate twists its cruel hand.&#8221;<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>That&#8217;s a bit much, voiceover guy.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I&#8217;ve had a long day.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Roman Reigns is &#8220;an empire of one&#8221;<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>fighting &#8220;against tyranny.&#8221;<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>In other words, he&#8217;s G.I. Joe.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We get actual pyro to kick off the program as &#8220;Soundtrack To A Big Budget Movie&#8221; plays.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And we kick things off with Ambrose versus Owens in a Last Man Standing match.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The champion comes to the ring first.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>JBL calls Ambrose &#8220;our resident lunatic.&#8221;<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Mr. McMahon isn&#8217;t a resident?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Cole introduces the Spanish, French, Esperanto, and Klingon announce teams.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Little Naitch is your referee.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">We go straight to the punch-kick stuff.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Owens throws the first chops.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They manage to make this look stiff and not particularly cooperative.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ambrose sends Owens over the announce table into Michael Cole.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Owens broke Cole&#8217;s glasses.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Dean grabs the kendo stick from under the ring and goes to town.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">If somebody can get Cole over to LensCrafters, he&#8217;ll made it back to the arena in time for the main event (maybe).<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Cannonball by Owens nearly ends this match early.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Owens breaks the kendo stick and tries to jab it into Ambrose.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The crowd loves it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Owens finds a &#8220;toy,&#8221; a steel chair.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And another and another.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>All Dean brought was a clothesline.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ambrose back bodydrops Owens onto two sitting chairs.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That looked painfall.<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-1806436559\" class=\"pwtor-content-1 pwtor-entity-placement\"><!-- Tag ID: pwtorchcom_test_300x600 -->\r\n<div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __300x600\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x600\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p class=\"p1\">Ambrose called Owens a &#8220;bear&#8221; on Smackdown.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I&#8217;m guessing Owens had a look in the Urban Dictionary and took offense for some reason.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Also, you don&#8217;t want to know what &#8220;bear trap&#8221; means.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Dean barely survives multiple collisions with the steel steps.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>A few tables and chairs later, Ambrose finally hits his finisher, and Owens gets up at the eight count.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Second time, this time on a chair.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Owens rolls out to the floor.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Good one.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ambrose puts Owens through a table.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Nope.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Nice bit of work, turning Owens babyface like this.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Kev needs some offense.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He hits the package powerbomb.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Nope.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ambrose finally sends Owens over the top rope through two tables for the finish.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That was great.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Unless you&#8217;re a fan of wrestlers not getting injured.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Another commercial for non-wrestling programs on WWE Network.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Can&#8217;t wait.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The tag titles are next.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It&#8217;s The New Day vs. The Usos.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We get a eulogy for Francesca the Trombone, who regularly got more promo time than the United States champion.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Then the champs celebrate their new trombone and shake their rooty tooty booties.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They are All Gold Everything.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I wonder who that&#8217;s a shot at?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">This is a basic three-on-two handicap match, and nobody&#8217;s complaining.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Look, I enjoy some wacky antics, but the cheating champs are the ones with the audience.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Plus, the Usos are talented and charismatic enough to be more than foils for the Kings of Brony Comedy.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Big E. wins it for his gang with the Big Ending after a blind tag.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It was all right.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Two for three.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Seth Rollins has gone samurai.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Again.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And WWE 24 presents the epic tale of Sting&#8217;s first WrestleMania, minus the part where his old WCW buddies sit around backstage and laugh at Sting having to put over Hunter.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Backstage, Bray Wyatt and his sheeple compare themselves to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Yeah, that&#8217;s been done.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Bray wants to sell you insurance or something.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe Sister Abigail is really Flo from the Progressive commercials.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Up next, it&#8217;s Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto for the United States Title.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Let us take you back to Smackdown, where the League bullied Kalisto and nobody came to help him.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">JBL once again calls Del Rio &#8220;Mexico&#8217;s greatest export.&#8221;<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ironically, if Donald Trump becomes President, America&#8217;s greatest export will be Del Rio.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">This match is about Del Rio taking charge, then getting too cute and letting the challenger back into the match.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It&#8217;s also about Kalisto botching his Code Red move. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Kalisto does hit the Salida Del Sol to win the title back.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Wow.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>For Del Rio&#8217;s sake, I hope he reallyis making seven figures.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Over to the All-Star Panel.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Booker takes credit for bringing the U.S. Title to WWE.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Really?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Because I was sure Shane McMahon did that.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They show the pre-show tag match again.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Mark Henry and Jack Swagger win again.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Paul Heyman and Stephanie McMahon meet up backstage and reminisce about old times.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Okay, maybe they did that part off-camera.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Coming soon to the WWE Network, Adam Copeland welcomes us to the end of his career.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Charlotte battles Becky Lynch for the Divas Title.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Jerry Lawler isn&#8217;t around to remind us how all women hate each other.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>But the writers have it covered.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">This match is all corsets and sequins and righteous indignation.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Yes, Charlotte actually hides her dad.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And Ric actually steals a kiss from Becky Lynch.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>JBL compares Charlotte to a few female athletes, but forgets to mention Ronda Rousey this time.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Becky has the match won when Slick Ric throws his killer jacket at Becky.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Charlotte spears Becky for the win off the distraction.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I remember the old days, where the jacket would have had to take an elbow drop from the Nature Boy.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The jacket got off easy tonight.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Charlotte beats up the Lass Kicker?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Who will save us from the Flair Dynasty? <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Cue Sasha Banks&#8217;s music.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Cue the shocking swerve, when Sasha helps her pal beat up Becky.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Cue the other shocking swerve, where Sasha jumps Charlotte from behind and applies the Bank Statement.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Team B.A.D. all the way!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The real winners of the Divas Revolution so far are the hair dye manufacturers.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">WrestleMania season begins now, with our first serious WrestleMania 32 ad.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Big Show threw a huge Chex Mix party at the Performance Center.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Over the years, 811 wrestlers have been eliminated from the Rum&#8230;Okay, 810 wrestlers and Curtis Axel, who is still in from the 2015 Rumble.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Now let&#8217;s see who drew Number One in this year&#8230;Right.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Forgot where I was for a moment.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Did I mention I&#8217;m tired?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Byron Saxton says that Reigns has to be &#8220;comfortably numb&#8221; to survive this match.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I&#8217;m sure someone backstage has some chloroform he can borrow.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Cole draws the duty of explaining why Roman Reigns is going to get booed.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Reigns and Rusev start things off.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We have a Lana sighting!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Out goes Rusev.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Number 3 is FREAKING A.J. STYLES.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Not crazy about the new music, but it&#8217;s A.J. Styles!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The Phenomenal One gets a standing ovation.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They tease their finishers.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Number 4 is Tyler Breeze.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>A sign in the crowd syas &#8220;Push Tyler Breeze.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Reigns and Styles push Tyler Breeze, over the top rope and out to the floor.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Number 5 is Curtis Axel.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This year, Axel makes it into the ring.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Reigns eliminates Slater &amp; Rose.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Styles eliminates Dallas and Axel.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Only one of those eliminations actually counts.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Number 6 is Chris Jericho.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He teases going after Styles, and punches Reigns instead.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Number 7 is Kane.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Kane and Jericho have something in common.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Neither one of them ever wins the Rumble.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Kane tries to toss Jericho.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Jericho takes the slowest bump this side of Mae Young before going back under the bottom rope.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Number 8 is surprise entrant Goldust.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Grab a corner.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And a Snickers bar.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Number 9 is Ryback.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ryback yells &#8220;Feed me more,&#8221; but none of the other wrestlers feed him.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Number 10 is Unicorn Commander Kofi Kingston.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Styles takes a backdrop from Ryback.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The man is paying his dues. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Titus O&#8217;Neil is Number 11.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>As a reward for being Father of the Year, O&#8217;Neil eliminates Goldust.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;I&#8217;m Entrant Number 12.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The ring is right there.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I&#8217;ll be back in a minute, so nobody take my chair!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>What&#8217;s up?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>(What&#8217;s up!)&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Kofi goes over the top, lands on Big E., and gets a piggyback ride back to the ring.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That&#8217;s a lot simpler than the way I booked it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Luke Harper is Number 13.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Mr. McMahon and the League of Nations enter through the crowd, drag Reigns under the bottom rope, and beat up the champ outside the ring.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Hey, great minds think alike.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Number 14 is Stardust.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Pay no attention to the men putting Roman Reigns through the Spanish announce table.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Mr. McMahon gets hugs from Rusev, Sheamus and Del Rio.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That&#8217;s right.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Vince is a hugger.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Number 15 is Big Show.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Out goes Titus O&#8217;Neil.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Out goes Ryback.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Reigns refuses a ride on the stretcher but gets helped to the back.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>So he&#8217;s out, but hasn&#8217;t been eliminated yet.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Neville is Number 16.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Jericho finally eliminates Kofi Kingston.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Bruan Strowman is in at Number 17.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He eliminates Kane.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That was unexpected.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Strowman faces off with Big Show.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>If Show is 7 feet tall, Braun is 6 foot 10.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Strowman eliminates Big Show.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Kevin Owens is Number 18, selling the whole way down the aisle.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Limp, Owens, Limp!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Owens, Styles, and Neville give us a quick triple threat match before Kevin eliminates the Phenomenal One.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Styles gets another standing ovation (and chant) on his way out.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Styles vs. Owens?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I think we can pencil in another WrestleMania bout.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Dean Ambrose is Number 19.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The crowd is deflated by A.J.&#8217;s departure.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Sami Zayn is Number 20.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The crowd is back.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Sami tosses Owens before the crowd can finish its first &#8220;Ole, Ole&#8221; chant.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Erick Rowan is Number 21.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It&#8217;s a regular Wyattpalooza out there.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They join forces to eliminate Neville and Stardust.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Mark Henry is Number 22., with at least three more big men still on deck.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They&#8217;ll need to show up soon, because Henry gets dumped by the Fam in short order.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Out goes Sami Zayn.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ambrose and Jericho are in a handicap match, and they&#8217;re losing.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Brock Lesnar is Number 23.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That gives away who&#8217;s arriving at Number 24.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Lesnar actually gets to knock Strowman down.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The Beast eliminates Rowan.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Jack Swagger is Number 24.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I was wrong.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Lesnar gives Jack an F5 and eliminates him.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I&#8217;m okay with being wrong.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Lesnar stands over a fallen Jericho, then sees Strowman get up and changes direction.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Nice touch.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The Miz is Number 25.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He sees Brock Lesnar waiting for him, and goes over to join the announce team.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Well done.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Lesnar eliminates Luke Harper instead.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Number 26 is former Rumble winner Alberto Del Rio.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Del Rio and Ambrose join forces to attack Lesnar.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That doesn&#8217;t work so well.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Lesnar needs a few clotheslines to eliminate Braun Strowman, but he does.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Bray Wyatt is Number 27.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The Wyatts surround Lesnar.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Lesnar beats up all the underlings again and hosists Bray for the F5.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Nope.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Back in for another four on one.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The Wyatts eliminate Lesnar together.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">(Again, what a great idea!)<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">We&#8217;re down to Ambrose, Del Rio, Miz, Jericho, Bray Wyatt, and Number 28, who is Dolph Ziggler.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Miz finally enters the match, but is unable to get Dolph over the top rope.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Sheamus is Number 29, but Reigns attacks the Pale Rider from behind and beats him down.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Reigns is back in the Rumble.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Roman eliminates The Miz.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And Del Rio.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Bray stops the champ from cleaning house.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Number 30 is Triple H.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>You were expecting Santino Marella?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Hunter takes his time, figuring surely someone can recover to help him out.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Dolph and Bray try to get between them.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They are brushed aside.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Roman gets the advantage, but Sheamus saves Triple H.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We get a quick round of Everyone Hits A Finisher before Hunter eliminates Ziggler.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Bray and Hunter have a staredown before Bray throws the first punch.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Sheamus saves Hunter again.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Hunter and Sheamus eliminate Bray.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Then, we have our shining moment.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>After all these years, Chris Jericho finally catches Triple H by surprise.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Y2J hits his signature move, The Codebreaker, and takes down the Cerebral Assassin.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Jericho takes a moment to celebrate with the crowd.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The moment ends when Dean Ambrose grabs Jericho and sends the 25-year veteran out over the top rope.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We are down to four.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Sheamus misses the Brogue kick and teeters over the top rope, where Reigns hits him with a Superman Punch.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Sheamus is eliminated.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Then Hunter eliminates Reigns for the biggest pop of the night.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">We&#8217;re down to Triple H and Dean Ambrose.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I wonder who&#8217;s going to win?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ambrose gets the advantage, but Hunter hits the knee and&#8230;yeah.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Triple H is champion again!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Who ever would have predicted that?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Triple H is going to WrestleMania.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Assuming, of course that he retains the WWE Title from now until Apr&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Screw it, I&#8217;m going to sleep now.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><i>Pat McNeill of Greenville, South Carolina has been a PWTorch Columnist since 2001. Listen to him as the host of\u00a0Wednesday&#8217;s <a href=\"http:\/\/pwtorchlivecast.com\" target=\"_blank\">PWTorch Livecast<\/a>!<\/i><\/p>\n<div class=\"pwtor-end-article-groups pwtor-entity-placement\" id=\"pwtor-3373910628\"><div id=\"pwtor-1343159718\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\nTHANK YOU FOR VISITING<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>We are LIVE at the McNeill North American Command Center for this on-demand blog of Royal Rumble 2016 on the WWE Network. How does one work a 14-hour shift, then deliver a coherent running dialogue <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2016\/01\/26\/9104\/\" title=\"McNEILL&#8217;s Day-Old Barely Alive Rumble Blog\u00a0&#8211; Walking through the show one quip at a time\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5411,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[58],"tags":[155,693,1460],"class_list":["post-9104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-takes_mcneill","tag-pat-mcneill","tag-royal-rumble","tag-wwe-royal-rumble"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/RoyalRumble_3x2.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9104","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9104"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9104\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9283,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9104\/revisions\/9283"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5411"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}