{"id":98940,"date":"2020-06-12T12:53:47","date_gmt":"2020-06-12T17:53:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/?p=98940"},"modified":"2020-06-12T12:53:47","modified_gmt":"2020-06-12T17:53:47","slug":"nwa-candyland-hits-misses-6-9-strictly-business-mayoral-ads-joe-galli-explains-entice-zicky-dice-jocephus-raps-for-mayor-thunder-rosa-for-mayor-nick-aldis-and-danny-deals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2020\/06\/12\/nwa-candyland-hits-misses-6-9-strictly-business-mayoral-ads-joe-galli-explains-entice-zicky-dice-jocephus-raps-for-mayor-thunder-rosa-for-mayor-nick-aldis-and-danny-deals\/","title":{"rendered":"NWA CANDYLAND HITS &#038; MISSES 6\/9: Strictly Business Mayoral Ads, Joe Galli Explains, Entice Zicky Dice, Jocephus Raps for Mayor, Thunder Rosa for Mayor, Nick Aldis and Danny Deals"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"pwtor-3245722405\" class=\"pwtor-before-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><hr \/><b>SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)... <\/b>\r\n\r\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/widget.spreaker.com\/player?show_id=3076978&theme=light&playlist=false&playlist-continuous=false&autoplay=false&live-autoplay=false&chapters-image=true&episode_image_position=right&hide-logo=false&hide-likes=false&hide-comments=false&hide-sharing=false&hide-download=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"140px\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe>\r\n<hr \/><\/div><div id=\":v2\" class=\"a3s aXjCH \">\n<div dir=\"ltr\">\n<p><strong>\u2022EDDIE KINGSTON INTRO &#8211; HIT:<\/strong> If you ever wanted to hear a great promo cut on racism by a white person without sounding patronising or tone deaf? This is it. I could ticky tack about the usage of the gender binary at the end, but I\u2019m not. Well done, Eddie.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022STRICTLY BUSINESS MAYORAL ADS &#8211; HUGE MISS:<\/strong> This episode is all about wrestlers running for mayor of Carnyland, and here we have Nick, Kamille, and Thom Skyping Royce with their new candidacy advertisements. Thom Latimer has big plans for Carnyland as mayor, well one&#8211;fanny packs are required attire. Kamille was all about how she challenged the establishment (well, spearing Tim Storm counts, no?). Then after two serious ads, Royce Isaacs gets one with a hick accent and farm scenery and doesn\u2019t even feature him. His fellow stablemates apparently put it together but he wasn\u2019t much the fan, I don\u2019t think? This was all very weird. There is some real comedy to be had with Royce Isaacs and Nick Aldis, as they have the capacity to be funny. Sadly though, this was not, although I thought Royce was excellent in this. Yes, I said something nice about Royce.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022JOE GALLI EXPLAINS &#8211; MILD HIT:<\/strong> We need this segment because I have no idea what\u2019s going on with this election riff raff but this is the primary episode and next week, the top two vote getters will run in a general election. Who is voting? I\u2019m not sure. Is it all of us watching? Is it just those who\u2019ve subscribed via Patreon? No idea but I know I\u2019m not voting either way. Galli hits us with some light comedy as the voice of Stu Bennett is stuck in the future (yeah, I don\u2019t know, that\u2019s what they\u2019ve established and it would make sense if I explained it but, come on, yall, it\u2019s Carnyland) sends a cheeky telegram to continue the running gag of Stu insulting Joe. I love Joe as literal babyface straight man with the recognition that he can play to the funny.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022ELI DRAKE MAYORALCANDIDACY SPEECH &#8211; MISS:<\/strong> Eli Drake should be so good at this because talking and being some kind of funny is in his wheelhouse but the spliced in segments from Power episodes past as punchlines just did absolutely nothing for me. They also kept piping in the crowd saying \u201cYEAH!\u201d constantly and it got just as annoying as it does on an actual episode of Power.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022ENTICE ZICKY DICE &#8211; HUGE HIT:<\/strong> Complete with a white oxford shirt, American flag bowtie, and tacky pink glasses, Zicky Dice brings the fun and funny again! He really is killing this Carnyland thing every time. If I were voting for mayor, I\u2019d vote Zicky! He gives us a list of how to help him win the mayoral race, like bring a friend or bring mayonnaise or be able to lick your own back and videotape it for proof! I have no idea what any of this has to do with anything but gosh dang it, I chuckled throughout! Heck, you can even write Zicky a big ole check! Okay, it does get gross when he proceeds to smear mayonnaise all over his mouth but hey, I popped. Zicky Dice saves Carnyland again!<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022QUESTION MARK TALK LINE &#8211; MISS: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT THIS WAS. NONE.<\/strong> I know it wasn\u2019t funny or good though. Man, they are really missing with these Mongrovia and Question Mark spots. I don\u2019t even want to discuss this. Let\u2019s move on.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022JOCEPHUS RAPS FOR MAYOR &#8211; HUGE HIT:<\/strong> Okay, I\u2019m using rap loosely, but Jocephus uses his little bit of time to spit hot bars over a generic rap beat imploring us all to write him in on the ballot. Okay, and by hot bars, it\u2019s mostly not hot and just one bar, \u201cPut my name, put my name, put my name on the ballot!\u201d It sounds goofy, and it is, but it\u2019s the good goofy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022TRUE CARNYLAND STORIES W\/ MAY VALENTINE &#8211; NEUTRAL:<\/strong> Long story short, May had a friend from Brazil who had to go back home but didn\u2019t want to, so they drank their cares away in Vegas. A magician pops up, proposes to the friend, the friend says yes, they drink more and try to get married that night but the chapel was closed. They agree to do so in the morning and overnight May realized that the magician stole the friend\u2019s credit cards and maxed them out. The next day at the chapel, they had him arrested. She told it well enough at least, and without actually seeing her, I wasn\u2019t distracted by her often sleepy look, so it really livened up the story. I\u2019d say you should go try to see this segment but it\u2019s not like Entice Zicky Dice or anything.<\/p><div id=\"pwtor-1338621956\" class=\"pwtor-content pwtor-entity-placement\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280 __336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_test_300x250\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p><strong>\u2022THUNDER ROSA FOR MAYOR &#8211; NEUTRAL:<\/strong> Of all the mayoral ads, this was the most straightforward, I reckon? It was really just her saying she\u2019ll fight for you and then some clips of her in the ring. It had a cute catchphrase at the end, something about she won\u2019t say thank you but we\u2019ll say please? I don\u2019t quite remember. But this wasn\u2019t long and boring like poor Eli Drake at least.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022MONGROVIA UNMASKED EPISODE 3: TRADE AND COMMERCE &#8211; NEUTRAL:<\/strong> I wanted to like this because it started off well. Aron Stevens was looking clearly at cue cards and not into the camera and got to the point saying, hey Mongrovia has no trade partners, so enough of that. That made me chuckle and I thought wow, short, sweet, great! No. Nope! Uh uh! I was wrong. What followed next was about 90 seconds or more of Stevens speaking about the metaphysical rewards of high ranking in Mongrovian Karate as it is Mongrovia\u2019s greatest export. Remember when Question Mark and Shooter were fun? They aren\u2019t anymore. Doing weird for weird\u2019s sake isn\u2019t good and it rarely ever is.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022ESTER ADDINGTON HISTORY PIECE &#8211; HIT:<\/strong> I had absolutely no idea where this was headed nor who Ester, yes no H in this spelling, was but they give a long list of accomplishments like having a secret affair with Cab Calloway! She also tried to run for mayor of Burlington, VT but lost by 10 votes! Now she\u2019s running for mayor of Carnyland, and like the pitch man said, if you want the bester, vote for Ester! (Ester is just Allysin Kay in old lady makeup and clothes. It\u2019s not much but for some reason it all works for a good bit.) After the commercial, Marti Belle and Allysin Kay were shocked she\u2019s still alive, let alone running! Allysin also announces her candidacy but Marti voiced her concerns because Kay has a resting bitch face and icy demeanor. Allysin tries smile practice\u2026 it goes terribly. I laughed too much at all of this.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022NICK ALDIS AND DANNY DEALS &#8211; HIT:<\/strong> Danny comes over to help convince Aldis to be the stable representative in the mayoral race as none of the others have the social skills or poll numbers. Danny plays his ad for Nick Aldis, emphasising him taking a stand against villains (read Scurrl) and issuing change (see defeating Tim Storm). Aldis has the line of the night though when he says, \u201cI know how you feel about politicians; always lying. I don\u2019t lie. I stretch the truth.\u201d After viewing the ad, he smiles and says he\u2019s gonna win! To be fair? He did have the best mix of serious and comedy in his ad, so he probably will win.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2022OVERALL &#8211; HIT:<\/strong> Look, this episode was bonkers. It\u2019s a lot of quick hits on campaign ads for a huge joke mayoral seat in a land of make believe. Some knock it out the park like Royce Isaacs, Nick Aldis, and Zicky Dice, while others don\u2019t. As an entire show though, this episode didn\u2019t dwell on any one segment long enough to make the entire thing feel like a slog and it did have a few chuckles. I\u2019d recommend watching it just for the sheer zaniness if nothing else.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><strong>CATCH UP&#8230;<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2020\/05\/29\/5-26-nwa-candyland-hits-misses-billy-corgan-rumor-one-time-only-theater-jocephus-eli-drake-gardening-tip-allysin-kay-college-heat-101-more\/\">NWA CANDYLAND HITS &amp; MISSES 5\/26: Billy Corgan Rumor, One-Time Only Theater, Jocephus, Eli Drake Gardening Tip, Allysin Kay College Heat 101, more<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"pwtor-end-article-groups pwtor-entity-placement\" id=\"pwtor-1085270601\"><div id=\"pwtor-3364390667\"><div align=\"center\" data-freestar-ad=\"__336x280\" id=\"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\">\r\n  <script data-cfasync=\"false\" type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n    freestar.config.enabled_slots.push({ placementName: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\", slotId: \"pwtorchcom_medrec_3\" });\r\n  <\/script>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\nTHANK YOU FOR VISITING<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>\u2022EDDIE KINGSTON INTRO &#8211; HIT: If you ever wanted to hear a great promo cut on racism by a white person without sounding patronising or tone deaf? This is it. I could ticky tack about <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/2020\/06\/12\/nwa-candyland-hits-misses-6-9-strictly-business-mayoral-ads-joe-galli-explains-entice-zicky-dice-jocephus-raps-for-mayor-thunder-rosa-for-mayor-nick-aldis-and-danny-deals\/\" title=\"NWA CANDYLAND HITS &#038; MISSES 6\/9: Strictly Business Mayoral Ads, Joe Galli Explains, Entice Zicky Dice, Jocephus Raps for Mayor, Thunder Rosa for Mayor, Nick Aldis and Danny Deals\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":97664,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[52,28,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-98940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opnionandanalysis","category-specialists_hitsandmisses","category-specialists"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/post\/2020\/05\/CarnylandLogo_3x2_600.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98940","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=98940"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98940\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":98943,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98940\/revisions\/98943"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/97664"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=98940"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=98940"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pwtorch.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=98940"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}