By D,E,K & J, The DEJ Experience

Hey it’s back. Yes the “Ask The Experience” is back and we are ready to answer your, the loyal listeners and readers tough questions. You ever want to know what entrance music we’d use or why Deuce and Domino exist; well this is the place to learn. Alright, enough of this awful attempt at hyping this blog, er, column. Here is what you really want to read.

Kirk Angel asks: Who would be a better baseball stadium hot dog vendor, Triple H or Sylvan Grenier? Deuce and Domino, why?

Eric says: What does this even mean? Hot dog vendor? Jeremy, there *were* other questions in this thread. First of all, more often than not, Triple H looks like he'd eat the profits. For those of you who haven't heard this joke 10,000 times, my friend Scotto insists that HHH stands for "Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, and Heavy on the Mayonnaise." I suppose there's an easy joke about Sylvan and hot dogs, too, but I'm not going to fall for such a cheap shot. My guess is that Deuce and Domino would be the kings of the hot dog vending world, as they've probably seen a lot more dog slinging in New York City than the others. At least I think they're from New York City. What in the hell is "The Other Side of the Tracks"? Is that across town from "Anywhere He Damn Well Pleases"? How is it that I come away from this question with more questions? Thanks for nothing.

Dusty says: Triple H would easily make the better hot dog vendor. When you look at that guy, you just know he knows a little something about hot dogs. Big juicy weiners tucked neatly inside a warm bun, you know what I'm talking about? What I'm talking about is that he married the boss' daughter to get his push! Vince McMahon don't care about the people.

As for Deuce and Domino, I actually have been able to see Deuce's evolution of the character from his OVW days till now and I can verify beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has always been this level of useful. That said, at least they're something different in a sea of interchangeable heads. More than anything, that's why. Right there.

Kevin says: Triple H would be a better hot dog vendor. HHH is from Connecticut and could have actually gone out to a baseball game when he was growing up so he would know how to throw the dogs to grumbling customers in the stands. Sylvan on the other hand is from Quebec and didn't go to baseball games growing up as a child. Since he is partially French, he'd turn up his nose at anything as lowly as a hot dog so he would refuse to sell them until he could also sell crepes and baguettes at the ball park.

As for Deuce and Domino, the WWE had a great idea to bring in Patrick Swayze as their manager to make it a complete 'The Outsiders' gimmick, not the group but the 1983 movie, but because of his pancreatic cancer, they couldn't go through with it. They also tried to bring in Ralph Macchio but he is busy filming the Next Next Karate Kid in which he takes over Mr. Miyagi's dojo. Rumor is that Brock Lesnar will be the Next Next Karate Kid. The WWE ended up settling on Cherry because they figured the over protective boyfriend gimmick would be perfect for 'Greasers'.

Jeremy says: By Vendor do you mean a person who dispenses Hot Dogs for profit or gain? If so, I would say Sylvan. I have nothing witty for this as I am still watching what I write. In a better time and a better place I have a slew of double entendres and sly remarks to make but this is not the place. As far as Deuce and Domino go, why not? You have Jimmy Snuka's son and a bumbling Indy guy trygin to make a better living. Pair them together and give them a greaser gimmick and then an average looking woman and………oh wait, I get it now. Yeah, I have no idea.


Captain Evers asks: When WrestleMania comes back to Orlando for Wrestlemania 26, what will you do differently to get the most out of the experience. Remember while thinking of your answer, I'm available for hire @ minumum wage.

Eric says: After wasting our money at Bennigan's and our time at Buffalo Wild Wings, I'm pretty sure I'm going to eat every meal at the hamburger and hot dog (and heavy on the mayo) truck known as After Party. If you weren't keeping up with our WM24 audios, a) I hate you, and b) you know about the debauchery caused because of and at this wondrous meat vessel. It was right smack in between our hotel and the bar where we drank sodas and talked to no female wrestlers all three nights of our vacation. And it was fantastic. Every night on our way home from the tavern (you could set your watch to it), I ordered a hot dog with everything, and by "everything," I mean mayo, ketchup, mustard, oil, maybe vinegar, tomatoes, onions, peas, corn (no, I'm not kidding), and all topped off with shoestring potatoes. You would not believe the percentage of these hot dogs that actually made it into my mouth, too (definitely in the high 90s), so I can vouch for these delicious dogs down to the last bite. So again, you ask, what would I do differently? I'd 86 the lame-o chain restaurants and patronize this paragon of processed virtue, After Party, for every square meal of the day. (This answer was brought to you by After Party.)

Dusty says: Well, for one thing I'd go. That alone would help me get a better WrestleMania experience. But if you were offering yourself for hire, I would gladly utilize you in the same role as the friend who goes to see you doing stand up and laughs at all the jokes so that maybe other people will, too. Basically, I'll need you around to put my sunglasses on and off and tell me how great I am every time a celebrity is nearby. If you could do that, that would be fantastico.

Kevin says: So are you telling us that we stink so much that we'd need to pay you to hang out with us again? That is a massive blow to the egos of everyone at The Audio Experience. I'm not sure I can even address the rest of the question. I'm going to weep in a corner. I'm so upset.

Jeremy says: Well for starters we could plan better. Secondly, we would stay at a hotel with a bar so we wouldn’t have to walk anywhere. Although the 2 a.m. hotdogs and hamburgers were good; the stumbling back a mile to the hotel sucked. However, the base of a palm tree is oddly absorbent. Eric is correct in his assertion we would skip all the chain places and eat at, wait, there were no other places but chain restaurants. I think our beloved After Party is probably a small company owned by McDonald’s. I would also refrain from commenting about how I am a foot taller than the X-Division wrestlers in public. There is also the plan of action to not drink so much before accosting female wrestlers who were much too polite for our dumbasses. If you are offering your services for minimum wage we could add a lackey in to the budget for the weekend.

Blackout asks: What would the four of you use as entrance music

Eric says: Individually or collectively? The way you ask the question, young friend, suggests either or. If it was just myself walking down the aisle, I believe I'd use "Physical" by Olivia Newton John. With my svelte figure and cocky attitude, I'm sure I'd be a hit with the ladies but a sure heel to all the guys. If it was all four of us, I would recommend Bam Bam Bigelow's WWF saxophone theme music from 1987-88, wailing away while we all do cartwheels to the ring. Our team name would be "Inside of a Cheap Watch," and our finishing move would be the Time Stamp, which is where Dusty stands over our opponent, looks at his wrist as though he was wearing a watch, pulls his pants down a little, and sits on the man's face. One, two, three. (J’s note: Oh my god.)

Dusty says: Very good question here. I'd probably need something long and wankery filled, so that I could walk around the arena and acknowledge all of my adoring fans. Something like "Keep On Chooglin'" by CCR. That harmonica solo always brings a tear to my eye...

Kevin says: I already had some entrance music when my roommate and I decided to stage a hard core match at our graduation party from Kent State. I'll save that full and glorious story for another time but for now, I used Pantera's "Hostile". As for a group entrance if we were a stable in the WWE, we'd need to go with "Crazy Train" from Ozzy Osbourne because our conversations, articles and questions get derailed quicker than if you'd put a penny on your local railroad tracks.

Jeremy says: Ok, no one is topping Eric so no point in trying. On an individual note I would use “Natural One” by Folk Implosion. It would set a good atmosphere and is repetitive enough that the audience could get a good groove on. As a group we could use the Benny Hill music. It fits just perfectly but then we would kill in the ring.

Ask the Experience was brought to you by the letters D, E, J and K, is a production of the Experience Workshop. You got a question that has been weighing on your heart and soul? Well, send it to us and we’ll answer it. To submit a question, post it in the "Official Ask the Experience Thread" in the PWTorch.com VIP Forum, or e-mail us at theaudioexperience@gmail.com.