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KELLER'S WWE NO MERCY PPV REPORT 10/7: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live PPV event
Oct 7, 2007 - 10:05:06 PM |
By Wade Keller, Torch editor
KELLER'S WWE NO MERCY REPORT
OCTOBER 7, 2007
CHICAGO, ILL.
LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW
-The show opened with a dramatic video about John Cena's injury. Then the PPV opened with Vince McMahon and William Regal walking to the ring. McMahon explained that Cena suffered a "debilitating" injury on Raw last Monday, so he will miss six months to a year of action. As a result, the WWE Title was vacated. He said tonight he would make news by crowning a new champion and giving the fans what they want - a WWE Title match. The crowd began to loudly chant "Y2J, Y2J." Vince didn't like that. He paused and said in his heelish grovely voice, "I'm not giving you that!" The crowd, feeling deflated, booed. Instead, he announced that Randy Orton was the new WWE Champion. Orton came out to a his intro song. McMahon awarded him the belt. Regal told Orton he would defend the title against a challenger of his choosing.
As Orton was about to speak, another "Y2J" chant broke out. McMahon yelled, "Shut up! The champion is about to speak." Orton said that Cena is watching from home tonight and that it's better off that way because it saves him taking a beating and losing the belt in person. "There is nobody, nobody in that locker room, in this industry, in this business, that comes anywhere close to me," he said. At that moment, Triple H's music thundered through the arena speakers and he made a ring entrance. The crowd popped for him. Ross said some fans liked Cena and others didn't, but everyone in this arena is welcoming Triple H to the ring with cheers.
Hunter said he wanted to be the first one to congratulate him on becoming the new WWE Champion. He said he's known him a long time and thus knows he'll be a fighting champion. He said, "Since you have to defend the title anyway, what do you say Randy Orton and Triple H for the WWE Championship right here, right now." The crowd chanted "Triple H, Triple H." Orton put the mic up to his mouth and said, "No!" Hunter said he expected him to say that because if he were him, he wouldn't want his second title reign to be shorter than his first. Vince said, "He said no!" Hunter asked the crowd if they wanted to see it. Hunter said it seemed like everyone cheered. He told Vince if he does it all for them and what's in their best interest, then that's the match he should give them.
Hunter turned to Vince and spent two minutes playing head games with him. He said he's scared and doesn't have any balls. He said beneath his 5,000 suit isn't a big set of grapefruits, it's a small set of raisins. It worked, as Vince finally exploded and said, "You're on!" Orton looked shocked as Vince threw a tantrum and yelled for it to start right now.
1 -- RANDY ORTON vs. TRIPLE H - World Hvt. Title match
The match opened Hunter pummelling Orton in the corner. Ross said the title being on the line in the opener was historical in and of itself. Hunter went after Orton at ringside when Orton tried to grab his belt and run. Orton took control for the first time at 3:00. He hit a powerslam for a near fall, then settled into his signature chinlock at 5:00. Hunter took Orton down with a clothesline, but was slow to get up himself. Hunter followed up with a superplex at 7:00. Orton charged at him a minute later, but he turned it into a spinebuster. The action spilled to ringside again at 8:00. Orton DDT'd Hunter into the ring off the middle rope. Orton went for an RKO, but Hunter blocked it and set up a Pedigree. Ross's excitement level rose for a moment to maximum, but Orton powered out. He went for a kneedrop, but Hunter moved, then Hunter applied a figure-four leglock in mid-ring. Orton grasped the bottom rope to force a break. Hunter went to the top rope, but Orton knocked him off balance. Orton charged, but Hunter ducked. Orton went shoulder-first into the corner. Hunter schoolboyed him for the pin. Hunter celebrated with the belt as Orton struggled to come to terms with what just happened.
WINNER: Triple H in 12:00 to capture the WWE Title.
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Short for a world title match, but good action while it lasted. Hardly a "classic" to reset things in WWE, but we'll see what else if anything they have up their sleeve to make the evening more special. Transitioning the belt from Cena to Orton to Hunter is newsworthy, but a 12 minute only a little above average title match opener isn't a show-making half hour stretch by any means.
-They went backstage to a close-up of Orton, still breathing hard and trying to cope with his loss. Vince walked up to him, looked sad, and then just walked away without saying anything. It wasn't clear what his reaction was - disgust, anger, or disappointment.
-A quick promo aired for WrestleMania 24 on Marc. 30, 2008 in Orlando, Fla.
2 -- PAUL LONDON & BRIAN KENDRICK & JEFF HARDY vs. LANCE CADE & TREVOR MURDOCH & MR. KENNEDY
Kennedy was announced as the special surprise partner of Cade & Murdoch. Kennedy said he was a special treat for the Chicago fans, then taunted them about being from Green Bay and being 5-0. Not yet they aren't. Murdoch stood on the middle rope to create a gap as Kendrick was charging to the ropes, leading to Kendrick spilling to the floor. Lawler laughed and called Murdoch clever. At 5:00 Hardy got tagged in and he went to work on Murdoch in rapid-fire fashion. At 7:00 Kendrick dove onto Murdoch with an awkward looking collision and crash to the floor. Kennedy caught London on the top rope and gave him his cannonball for the win.
WINNERS: Kennedy & Murdoch & Cade in 8:00.
STAR RATING: ** -- Good action and good pace. Nice dose of athleticism.
-They went backstage to Triple H crossing paths with Batista, both sporting World Title belts over their shoulders. There's your foreshadow of WrestleMania 24's new main event. Batista said it's easier to win it than lose it, then added, "Game on." Hunter chomped on gum and wished him luck in his Punjabi Prison match later. Hunter turned and there stood Vince. Vince said there was one thing he said out there that was true - which is that he gives the people what they want. He said if memory serves him, they had advertised earlier Triple H vs. Umaga. He said they're going to have that match after all - and the belt will be on the line.
-Ross said regarding Hunter having to defend the title, "Is that fair? It doesn't matter. It's happening here tonight. Another WWE Championship match."
3 -- C.M. PUNK vs. BIG DADDY V (w/Matt Striker) - ECW Title match
Joey Styles and Tazz made their first appearance. Styles said it was supposed to be Tommy Dreamer getting a shot at Punk, but it didn't work out that way. Daddy V tossed Punk around early and then smothered him on the mat. Punk avoided a corner splash, then climbed to the top rope and hit a dropkick. Striker jumped into the ring and attacked Punk, prompting a DQ. Tazz said he didn't understand why Striker would cost Daddy V the title. After the match, Daddy V crushed Punk with multiple elbow drops. Punk coughed up blood and clutched his ribs as he was helped to the back.
WINNER: Punk via DQ in 2:00 to retain the ECW Title.
STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Not much to it. A ripoff for those who invested in ECW the past month or so and purchased the PPV in part to see how Punk would fare against the much larger Daddy V. Also: They flew in Styles and Tazz for that?
-A long recap aired of MVP and Matt Hardy's rivalry and various challenges.
-Tazz entered the ring and stood in front of a table stacked with pizzas. After talking about New York pizzas being "nice, flat, and greasy" compared to Chicago's deep dish pizzas, he introduced Melina and then Maria. "You can't have a pizza eating contest without a couple of tomatas!" he said. Then he introduced Matt Hardy and MVP. Maria said he doesn't have to worry about being fat "because my DNA makes me better than each and every one of you." He did say he was worried about Hardy, though. He said he's slower than him, older than him, and not in half as good shape. They argued about whether MVP had actually won any contests so far. The competition finally began and the pieces were not being consumed quickly. Tazz gave them a hard time as they tried to wash down their first piece. It was not a pleasant sight nor was it interesting to watch. Tazz did his best to fill time. It was clear the stack of other pizzas in boxes would be enjoyed in the back and not needed for the competition. Tazz declared Hardy the winner. Hardy began coughing up his pizza, so turned and spit it up all over MVP's white workout outfit. The camera gave us a nice close-up. PPV parties everywhere took a turn for the worst as people gagged on their own pizza. Cole laughed as he said his own lame one-liner (presumably fed to him in the headset by Vince McMahon), saying MVP stands for "Most Valuable Puke." They did a slo-mo replay of Hardy throwing up the pizza all over MVP. Unpleasant all around.
4 -- TRIPLE H vs. UMAGA - WWE Hvt. Title match
After no-selling a match-opening DDT by Triple H, Umaga controlled the opening minutes, battering Hunter in the ring and at ringside. At 4:00 he applied a bearhug for the first pause in the action. At 6:00, Hunter moved out of Umaga's path as he charged him butt-first in the corner. Hunter caught him with a boot to the face on a second charge. On a third charge, Umaga went head-first into the ringpost. Hunter then snuck in a quick Pedigree for the pin. Hunter didn't let the ref lift his right arm in victory, selling hard a rib injury, gasping for breath. Lawler acknowledged it.
WINNER: Triple H in 7:00 to retain the WWE Title.
STAR RATING: *
-A plug aired for the Bret Hart DVD documentary airing on PPV this month.
-Great Khali meditated backstage as his spokesman talked about the Punjabi Prison match. Khali eventually rose up and stretched his arms to the ceiling.
5 -- FINLAY vs. REY MYSTERIO
Rey went for a sunset flip of Finlay off the ring apron. Finlay held on and then wrapped the ring apron over Rey's head and battered him. JBL said, "That's a clubberin'." Finlay dominated the match. At 5:00 he removed the turnbuckle. The ref told him that was his first and only warning. When he grabbed his shillelagh, Rey countered with a head scissors, sending Finlay to ringside. Rey went for a 619, but Finlay ducked. Rey went to plan B, a roundhouse kick to the head which did connect. Rey then legdropped Finlay on the back of his neck. Finlay fell to the mat. The ref checked him for consciousness. Finlay didn't respond. When the ref walked away, Finlay opened up his eyes. The ref called for belt from the back. The ref informed Rey that they were getting help for him. Cole said it was a sickening thud when Finlay's head hit the mat. A stretcher was brought to ringside. JBL and Cole ignored that Finlay had opened his eyes right after the ref stepped away, which was unfortunate. Viewers should never feel that the announcers' loyalty is toward a cover-up rather than relaying info on behalf of the fans. They replayed his landing, which was an ordinary flatback bump to the mat off the apron without anything awkward. Finlay was lifted onto the stretcher after about two minutes. Cole said, "Obviously Rey didn't want this to happen to Finlay." Really? Finlay was going to ram Rey's head into an exposed metal turnbuckle or hit him with the shillelagh, so why would he be so upset with Finlay getting KO'd on the floor? The crowd actually chanted "Finlay," seeming to be legitimately concerned for him. Finlay eventually popped off the stretcher. Cole acted surprised even though he knew as well as the viewers that Finlay had opened his eyes wide open right after the ref checked on him. Just sloppy execution. Finlay attacked Rey for a minute at ringside and left him clutching his ribs. JBL claimed Finlay didn't have it planned, he just thought of it on the fly. Cole was outraged at the suggestion.
WINNER: No decision in 7:00.
STAR RATING: * -- Fine start. Nothing spectacular, because it was so one-sided, but still okay. The angle for a finish might have been okay if not for the Striker interference earlier in the night and the trend in general of such non-finishes.
-The mysterious video clue segment aired again.
-They went backstage to Hunter getting his ribs iced. Vince walked up and told Hunter he's had a hell of a night. He said it's not over as Orton has triggered his rematch clause for later tonight in a Last Man Standing match. That explains why Hunter's matches have been so short so far. And it keeps Smackdown's streak alive of not having it's heavyweight title headline a PPV and being trumped by Raw's belt.
6 -- CANDICE MICHELLE vs. "GLAMAZON" BETH PHOENIX - Women's Title Match
The crowd was pretty quiet early on, to the point that individual hecklers could be heard. Phoenix dominated the early minutes, but Candice came back with a crossbody off the top rope for a two count. Beth clumsily charged at Candice and sent her into the corner hard. Candice came back with a sloppy sunset flip for a two count. Beth came right back with a backbreaker and cradle suplex for the anticlimactic clean pin. After the match, Phoenix told Lawler she had something to say. She said when McMahon said it would be a historical night, she has made it so. She said this was a new era for women's wrestling. She said she is the most perfect being on the face of the planet, the perfect combination of beauty and strength.
WINNER: Glamazon in 4:00 to capture the Women's Title.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- I'd like to see her hold the title for at least a year or two to really give the division some identity rather than the belt being passed around. She stands out enough so far that it would be believable for her to fend off challenger after challenger. Then, perhaps for the first time in many years, the eventual women's title change would be memorable and mean something.
7 -- BATISTA vs. THE GREAT KHALI - Punjambi Prison Match for World Hvt. Title
It took a long time for the preview video to air and the cage to lower and ring intros to take place. Once the match began, Batista got in some early blows, but Khali stopped him with a chop. He went for the door at 1:00. The cage door opened for 60 seconds. Khali had that long to escape the cage to the perimeter. They should have brought Mike Tenay and Don West in to explain these rules since they're used to convoluted gimmick matches. The cage door dropped closed after 60 seconds. They lumbered around the ring hitting each other with forearms and choking each other in slo-mo - and that description is more exciting than reality, actually. Khali whipped Batista with a leather strap at 5:00. Khali called for the third door to open (there are doors on each side of the ring). Batista hit a spinebuster out of nowhere and tried to escape the door. Khali prevented it. That left one more door (or else they'd have to stay in the cage forever, the fans would have to stay in the arena forever, and fans at home would have to watch those two fight inside the inner-cage forever). At 7:00 Batista began to climb the side of the cage. When Khali followed, Batista dropped down and attempted to powerbomb him to the mat. There was a touch of actual drama at that moment. Khali punched Batista until Batista let go and dropped to the mat. At 8:00 Khali applied his head vice. Khali called for that fourth door to open. Batista escaped the head vice with a low-blow. Khali clutched his crotch in pain as Batista crawled toward the fourth door. Khali got up and jammed the door down across Batista's back. It didn't really look all that painful. The buzzer rang and the fourth door was closed and locked. An upset Khali hit the ref who locked that fourth door. JBL explained that now the only way out is to climb the side of the cage with the razor sharp bamboo on top. They each tried to climb the side of the cage for a couple minutes. Khali climbed over the top first as Batista lay hurt on the mat inside the ring. Khali then had to climb the outside cage and escape over the top to win. He began to climb as Batista came to and began to climb the inside cage himself. The crowd cheered as Batista made his way over the top. Khali made it to the top, so Batista took a chance and leaped to the outside cage himself. Batista then quickly climbed down and beat Khali to win, managing to land without breaking his leg or ruining knee. JBL said, "What a spectacle we just witnesses, Michaels. That's what the World Championship is all about."
WINNER: Batista in 14:00 to capture the World Hvt. Title.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- The last minute or two had some drama. Otherwise, it was really drawn out without much of anything happening other than the spectacle aspect of it. The whole thing was a bit convoluted. It might be a fun match with two guys with athleticism to utilize the cage more and actually have entertaining exchanges otherwise. It was all spectacle, and the jump by Batista from one cage to the other was the saving grace because it provided one memorable moment and helped Batista fans feel he did something heroic to win. They made the best of their assets, but it still was a lot of lumbering, crawling, grabbing, clubbering, and climbing at slo-mo speed.
-Ross and Lawler recapped the WWE Title events throughout the night so far. Then Todd Grisham interviewed Triple H backstage. He said the game is not over. "I'm just getting started," he said. He told Orton this is a dangerous business, so "get ready to get hurt."
8 -- TRIPLE H vs. RANDY ORTON - Last Man Standing WWE Title Match
Triple H made his third ring introduction of the night. Orton took initial control as Hunter continued to clutch at his ribs and struggle for breath. At 1:00 Hunter went for a Pedigree on the rampway, but the fresher Orton easily blocked it and shoved Hunter to the floor. Back in the ring at 6:00 he took Hunter down with an inverted backbreaker. The ref began to count toward ten. Hunter was slow to get up, but he did. Orton brought a cable into the ring and choked Hunter with it. The no-DQ stip meant he could get away with it. He eventually threw Hunter to ringside and set up an RKO on the Raw announce table. Hunter powered out and shoved Orton onto the ECW announce table next to the Raw table. The ref counted as Orton struggled to get to his feet. He did at the count of nine at 10:00. Hunter gave Orton a spinebuster at ringside. He then lifted the ringside step and rammed it into Orton's head. Orton went down and the ref began to count again. Orton stood just in time and rolled into the ring. Ross was making this three times better than it was with his call, and it was pretty good for this style of match as it was. Orton managed to DDT Hunter onto a chair in center ring before collapsing in exhaustion himself immediately at 12:00. Both got up just before the count of nine. Orton had a surge of energy, battering Hunter in the corner with punches and stomps. Lawler said he doesn't know where Orton got it, but he reached down inside for that flurry. Orton clutched the chair, set it up in center-ring, and executed an RKO on the chair. Orton threw the chair to the floor. Hunter bled from the forehead and otherwise barely moved until the ref got to six. He stood just before ten once again. Orton looked on his shock. Hunter, who had climbed to his feet by the ropes, collapsed seconds later. Orton then set up the Legend Killer Punt. Hunter blocked it and clutched Orton's right leg. He looked up at Orton, shaking with intensity, rose to his feet, and took Orton down with a hard clothesline. He tossed Orton to the floor and threw him face-first into the ring barrier, then the steps, and then the Smackdown announce table. He threw Orton onto the Raw announce table to go for a Pedigree. Orton slipped to the floor. Hunter grabbed him and set up a Pedigree on the floor. Orton reversed it and catapulted Hunter into the ringpost. The ref began a count on Hunter. Orton lifted the steps again. Hunter blocked it with a low blow. Orton fell face-first onto the steps. Hunter then smashed the steps with a chair, supposedly crushing Orton's skull in the process. The ref began to count Orton down at 19:00. Orton made it up just before ten once again. Hunter shoved Orton back onto the Raw announce table. Orton surprised Hunter with an RKO on the table. Both men were down for several seconds. Orton rose first and rolled into the ring. Hunter flopped to the floor at eight, but couldn't stand before ten.
WINNER: Orton in 21:00 to capture the WWE Hvt. Title.
STAR RATING: ****1/4 -- That was a really good main event. Really good. There were numerous convincing near finishes and plenty of times where it appeared either wrestler was going to win. Ross was spectacular - absolutely spectacular in calling this. Orton and Hunter had the right facial expressions and body language throughout. Their battle fit the circumstances of the evening. It all came together nicely. It was a one-match show, as nothing else was "must-see," but this match might make it a recommended show. Might.
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