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CALDWELL'S WWE CYBER SUNDAY REPORT 10/28: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of PPV
Oct 28, 2007 - 9:51:31 PM |
By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
WWE CYBER SUNDAY REPORT
October 28, 2007
Washington, D.C.
By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
They opened with a politically-themed intro package, focusing on democracy in action for WWE fans voting on matches that will alter the course of history. OK, entering TNA over-stating range with that one. Live in the arena, the big screen is shaped like a giant Mac screen. Thumbs up.
Finlay and Rey Mysterio came out for the opening match. Cue up Todd Grisham for the match stipulation announcement. Grisham stretched this out for a time longer than needed. And the results... 40 percent for stretcher, 36 percent for No DQ, and 24 percent for Shillelagh.
1 -- FINLAY vs. REY MYSTERIO -- Stretcher Match
Finlay tossed Rey through the ring directly on to the stretcher in the opening two minutes. The fight continued on the floor, with Finlay suplexing Rey across the stretcher. Back in the ring, Rey came back with a head scissors before chucking Finlay to the floor. Rey tried to push Finlay and the stretcher over the line, but Finlay slipped off and avoided certain defeat. Finlay eyed the shillelagh hanging on a pole, but Rey caught him with kicks to the gut. Rey then dropped a basement dropkick to the family jewels. This led to a sequence of both men trying to grab the shillelagh before Rey landed a sunset flip powerbomb in the corner. Rey then retrieved the shillelagh, but Finlay stole it and started bashing Rey's knee. Rey and Finlay started playing tug of war with the stretcher, but Rey hit a 619 and sentaun splash on the stretcher. Rey had Finlay halfway up the ramp, but a TV chord was caught underneath a wheel, so Finlay flew off to the ground. Rey regrouped, they did another spot sequence, and Rey dumped Finlay onto the stretcher and wheeled him across the finish line to win.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio in 10:00. Good action while it lasted. Crowd responded well to Rey in jeopardy throughout the match. Not as memorable a victory had Rey picked up a pin, though. (**1/4)
Michael Cole and JBL talked about Matt Hardy's severe facial laceration on Smackdown. I just finished off a sandwich and they go close up on Hardy's face being opened up. Thanks. They segued to backstage from earlier in the day where Matt Hardy was all bandaged up and looking depressed. MVP walked in and sat down next to him. He said he agrees with the medics for not clearing him to compete tonight. MVP talked about Hardy possibly being opened up and getting an infected, like the superbug staph infection. Hardy said he heard a rumor from Vickie Guerrero's office that MVP might have to defend the U.S. Title tonight against Khali, Kane, or Mark Henry. MVP panicked and went looking for Vickie.
Ringside, JBL begged the viewers to vote for him as special referee for the World Title match. Cole then introduced new voting for who MVP should defend the belt against: Henry, Khali, or Kane. They cut backstage where divas modeled potential Halloween costumes. They cut to a random backstage set for the divas to model outfits. Maria is a pussycat. Victoria is a sumo wrestler. Kenny is Mr. Fuji or a stooge. One or the other. Ron Simmons is a comedy bit player. Oh wait, he's just here to shout Damn.
C.M. Punk came out to defend the ECW Title. Todd Grisham broke down the voting in slow-motion form. 39 percent for The Miz. No surprise there! Two reasons: He hasn't faced Punk yet, so it's a fresh match-up, and the fans have been trained to see Miz as an easier opponent for Punk.
2 -- C.M. PUNK vs. THE MIZ -- ECW Title match
Styles and Tazz talked about Punk wanting to face Miz, according to their conversation before the show. Suddenly, the PPV went out. Comcast didn't have their house in order with the time change next week, not this week. And we rejoin with Punk in a headlock on Miz. Miz returned the favor a few minutes later and the camera zoomed in tight to see Punk and Miz having a conversation. Punk then tried to comeback with a springboard splash, but Miz was down on all fours and Punk crashed down on Miz's upper back. Punk then hit a corner knee strike and springboard clothesline for a nearfall. Suddenly, Miz scored a nearfall with a hook of the tights, then Punk avoided the Reality Check and nailed the Go 2 Sleep for the win.
WINNER: Punk in 9:00 to retain the ECW Title. A few off moments early on, but a nice final two minutes. Punk with a good win versus an opponent he could actually move around the ring, unlike Viscera. (*1/2)
They aired a promo for ECW on Tuesday night with Henry, V, Khali, and Kane in a Halloween battle royale. Backstage, Mickie James was dressed as an Indian Warrior Princess for the politically incorrect moment of the show. Elsewhere, Torrie Wilson was Clinton Portis. She must not have watched the game earlier today. Sorry, Pat.
Ross and Lawler are on the show. They plugged the WWE Title situation before they aired a video package on the three contenders for Randy Orton's title.
William Regal joined Todd Grisham at CS HQ to determine who faces Randy Orton for the title. Regal said the two losers face each other. They cut backstage where Michaels, Hardy, and Kennedy stared at the camera with tense facial expressions. Voting wasn't even close. Michaels 59, Hardy 31, Kennedy 10.
3 -- IC champion JEFF HARDY vs. MR. KENNEDY -- non-title match
Mr. Kennedy [artist Grant Gould (c) PWTorch]
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Hardy knocked Kennedy to the floor early on and went for a plancha on the floor that both men took the brunt of. Back in the ring, Kennedy dominated Hardy on the mat, until he went up top and accepted a huracanrana from Hardy. Hardy landed a clothesline before taking Kennedy down with the Whisper in the Wind when Kennedy blocked the Twist of Fate. Only a nearfall, though. Suddenly, the match was over when Hardy missed with his elevated dropkick in the corner and Hardy hit the back of his head on the mat. Kennedy made a cover for the win.
WINNER: Kennedy in 9:00. Not a good sign for Hardy's push, but we'll see what happens on Raw. Match stayed in first gear and didn't quite pick up until the end. (*3/4)
Cole plugged MVP's U.S. Title match against one of the three monsters. Cole picked Kane. JBL criticized him for not picking Henry.
Michelle McCool is Eve from Biblical fame. She took a bite from some fruit and didn't say much of anything. Melina is a hot showgirl form Vegas. Mick Foley is a wrestler. Oh, never mind. Backstage, Mick Foley was looking at the Batista and Undertaker fathead posters, then JBL jumped on the mic and started screaming at Mick Foley. Audio was way off and Foley had zero lines. They aired the JBL propaganda video from Smackdown. After the JBL video aired, Foley had lines about being well-experienced in the special refereeing skill. He called JBL a fathead and said he is proficient in counting one, two, three. Yeah.
MVP came out to defend the U.S. Title. JBL changed his attitude about Vickie Guerrero and said she's crazy for booking MVP in a match tonight. He said maybe Jamie Noble is right about Vickie's hormones being out of control. They went to Grisham and Vickie to see who MVP is facing tonight. Looked like a bad couple presenting Best director at the Oscars. Backstage, Henry, Khali, and Kane stood by to see the results. Kane won in a landslide.
4 -- MVP vs. KANE -- U.S. Title match
MVP wanted nothing to do with Kane early on. The match then transitioned into Kane working heel with MVP taking Kane's offense. Kane then wrapped MVP's stomach around the ringpost and MVP collapsed to the floor. He made several half-attempts to re-enter the ring, but he finally collapsed to the floor and was counted out. Cole and JBL debated the merits of MVP's "efforts" to get back in the ring for the match.
WINNER: Kane via count out in 7:00; MVP retains the U.S. Title. Sluggish match that dragged. The count-out fits MVP's character, but the match certainly wasn't a satisfying replacement for the MVP vs. Hardy advertised contest. (1/2*)
The Save_Us video aired ahead of a Survivor Series promo. Edge handled a chainsaw throughout the promo. They went back to the diva backdrop where Leyla is a bad cop with leather whips. Kelly Kelly is a gangster/pimp with a big hat and a giant push-up bra.
Randy Orton cut a promo backstage. Before he finished, they cut to a video on Orton's previous destruction on Shawn Michaels. Back to Orton, who said Michaels had to live with the fans's choice for him facing Orton. And we're off to the Title match as the fifth match on the card. If it's going on this early, Michaels isn't going over for the belt.
5 -- RANDY ORTON vs. SHAWN MICHAELS -- WWE Title match
Michaels nailed a plancha on the floor early on, then back in the ring, Orton regained momentum with a hard uppercut. They went into a standing exchange before moving to the mat where Orton worked on Michaels's taped left elbow. Michaels came back with a kick to the arm in the corner before slapping on a headlock of his own. Michaels picked up a close nearfall at 11:00 when he fell on top of Orton in mid-air when Orton was going for a back drop. Orton came right back with an inverted back breaker, leading to Orton's next round of offensive attack. But, Michaels knocked him off the top turnbuckle and went for an elbow drop, only to find the mat when Orton moved out of the way. Orton had that sinister smile on his face as he looked for the RKO, but Michaels made a quick counter into a backslide for a nearfall. Great reaction from Michaels. He then nailed a flying forearm off the ropes and kipped up. Michaels then went back to the well for a top rope elbow drop and connected this time. Ross predicted a new champion. Uh oh. Michaels pumped up the crowd and started to tune up the band, but Orton ducked the Superkick and punched Michaels directly in the crotch to earn a DQ.
After the match, Michaels was KO'ed on the mat. The ref simply stood there as Orton stalked Michaels for potential further damage. Orton went back to the corner and lined up for the big punt to the head, but Michaels popped up to his feet and nailed Sweet Chin Music for the fourth time, just as he said on Raw.
WINNER: Michaels via DQ in 16:00; Orton retains the WWE Title. Very good final six minutes after a methodical build-up. The only problem is that two out of the last three PPVs have ended with a cheap finish to a WWE Title match. The finish factored into why the match went on early in the card so there's more time for WWE to make up for it, but they have to be careful not to take the crowd out of the show. (***)
Brooke is Jane from jungle fame. Jillian is Britney, bitch. She dropped her two baby dolls on the floor. Jim Ross called this the worst Halloween costume contest of all time.
They went to a video package on the Triple H vs. Umaga match. Todd Grisham gave us the voting that Street Fight won. The fans booed, as they probably wanted a cage.
6 -- TRIPLE H vs. UMAGA -- Street Fight
Hunter came out first, then Umaga walked out and Hunter met him on the entrance ramp. They fought to the giant keyboard on the entrance stage and traded right hand blows. Suddenly, Hunter speared Umaga through the base wall of the giant Mac monitor. They fought into the stands and nearly up the stands, but Hunter dumped Umaga back to the ringside area. They entered the ring for the first time at 3:00 and Umaga ate the ringpost when he missed with a corner splash. Hunter then picked up a trashcan and smashed it over Umaga's head for a nearfall. Umaga came back with a liver-quivering Samoan drop, as Ross put it. Umaga then went on the offensive and they spilled to the floor again. Back in the ring, Umaga slowed things down considerably and nailed the big butt splash in the corner for a nearfall at 10:00. Umaga picked up a chair to rearrange Hunter's face, but Hunter landed a legal low blow. He then DDT'ed Umaga onto the face of the chair for a nearfall. Hunter tried to follow with a Pedigree, but Umaga shoved him into the corner and nailed a Black Hole Slam. They fought to the outside and Umaga started clearing announce tables. Michael Cole got too close to the action, so Umaga shoved him aside and repeatedly slammed Hunter face-first into the table. With Hunter flat on his back on the ECW announce table, Umaga straight ran off the Smackdown and Raw tables before splashing Hunter through the ECW table. Hunter was dead. But, not for long, as he pulled himself up while referees admonished Umaga. Back in the ring, Umaga went up top for another big splash, but Hunter moved. Hunter managed to roll out of the ring and he found his best friend, the sledgehammer. Hunter measured Umaga for a hammer blow, but Umaga ducked. Umaga tried to follow with the Samoan Spike, but Hunter ducked and landed a hammer blow to the head. Umaga was only rocked and didn't go down, so Hunter finished him with the Pedigree for the win.
WINNER: Hunter in 18:00. Good use of the stipulation to create some main event-style drama to carry the match. No one expected Umaga to win, so Hunter wasn't really in jeopardy, but Umaga had plenty of offense to remain credible in nearly 20 minutes of action. (***1/2)
Todd Grisham went to the polls for which WWE diva has the hottest costume. Mickie James won with 21 percent. And the other divas were jealous.
Cole and JBL broke down the Undertaker vs. Batista feud before airing a video package. Todd Grisham announced approximately 13.2 million votes for the PPV. He then listed the potential special referees for the Hvt. Title match. Before Grisham announced the results, JBL interrupted and jumped in the ring. He said it's about time someone with talent handle a mic. JBL said he knows his great fans put him back in the main event. Foley interrupted JBL's assessment and walked out in his button down ref shirt, black shirt, and black sweatpants. Grisham then went to the results. Austin 79 percent, JBL 10, Foley 11. Landslide and a half. JBL was upset and started pounding on Foley with right hand blows. Suddenly, the glass broke and Austin stormed out to the ring. Foley was the first to take a Stunner, but JBL dropped Austin with a clothesline from hell. Austin took a beating from JBL, then JBL went for another clothesline from hell, only to take a Stunner from Austin. Austin did the four-corner salute before Taker's music hit to calm everything down. Austin and Taker had a staredown. Lawler is joining Cole on commentary. Batista came out as the champion for the hometown pop.
7 -- BATISTA vs. THE UNDERTAKER -- World Hvt. Title match
Taker went for old school early on, but Batista blocked and crotched Taker on the top turnbuckle. Batista then climbed up top for a superplex, but Taker knocked him down to the mat. Taker then went for a flying kick in the corner, but Batista moved and Taker smashed his inner thigh into the top rope. They traded control back and forth before Taker went for the snake eyes, only to have Batista counter the big boot with a big clothesline. Taker blocked a Batistabomb and started landing right hand blows. Batista then smashed his left shoulder into the corner ringpost and Taker went for the Old School clothesline, but Batista hit a spinebuster to counter. Taker then countered a pinfall attempt into a triangle chokehold. Batista broke the hold, then broke a chokeslam attempt, only to walk into a second chokeslam attempt. Taker made a cover for a close nearfall. Batista came back with a spear, good for another nearfall. He called for the Batistabomb, but Taker back dropped him. Fans are clearly behind Taker tonight despite it being Batista's hometown. Batista went to the corner for ten punches, but he made a mistake and Taker dropped him with the Last Ride from the corner. Taker took a little extra to make a cover, giving Batista time to kick out before three. He called for the end and scooped up Batista, but Batista countered with a spinebuster for another two count. Taker then sat up and walked into a Batistabomb. Batista made the cover, but Taker kicked out again. The crowd popped and Batista sat up on his knees and stared at Austin in disbelief. Batista growled like a mad man and measured Taker to deliver another Bomb. He covered him and scored the three count this time to retain the belt. Afterward, they recapped the high points of the match. Batista walked out on stage and Taker glared at him from inside the ring.
WINNER: Batista in 18:00 to retain the World Hvt. Title. Very strong main event. Like every other high profile match on the card, they started off slow and built to a strong conclusion. Believable nearfalls playing off each one's signature moves and spot sequences, and Austin played a strong role in maintaining order in the match. (***3/4)
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