KELLER'S TNA NO SURRENDER PPV REPORT 9/14: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live event from Canada
Sep 14, 2008 - 9:26:10 PM
By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor
KELLER'S TNA NO SURRENDER PPV REPORT
SEPTEMBER 14, 2008
LIVE FROM OSHAWA, ONT.
-A video package opened the show with a James Earl Jones sound-alike talking in hifalutin language. Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show.
-Sting came out first to his full ring intro. He soaked up a chant of "You're a legend! You're a legend!" He announced that he just worked out a deal with TNA management to face the winner of tonight's main event for the TNA World Title at Bound for Glory. He talked about some of the other wrestlers needing to learn about respect. He said there are some true men backstage, but also some snot-nosed rats. He brought up Bret Hart fighting for a cause like his in the past. He said as far as contemplating retirement, he's not going to look at that again until he makes sure Samoa Joe and A.J. Styles understand what he's getting at.
-They showed a clip of Christian Cage arriving in a cool red four-door Chrysler sedan from earlier.
-Tenay and West were shown on camera. Tenay said due to Hurricane Ike, Booker T could not be at the PPV. He said management did all they could, but it just couldn't be arranged. (Same goes for my cohort covering PPVs here, Houston-based James Caldwell, who has no power but is otherwise okay.)
1 -- SUPER ERIC & SHARK BOY & CURRY MAN vs. JIMMY RAVE & LANCE ROCK & CHRISTY HEMME
Eric hit a dive through the ropes onto Rave at ringside at 1:00. Seconds later Eric hit a top rope dropkick on Rave for two count. Eric tagged in Shark Boy after a botched double clothesline where Rock bumped oddly. Shark stomped a mud hole in Rave in the corner, then did the Stone Cold head bobbing. Curry and Christy tagged in. Christy applied an armbar which seemed to frustrate Curry more than hurt him. He easily escaped and then went behind her and put the moves on her. She slapped him and tagged out to Rock. Curry tagged Shark back in, too. At 4:00 Rock and Rave hit a double-team move on Shark. Rock then lifted and dropped Christy onto Shark with a splash. Christy show-boated, so Shark crawled under her and tagged in Curry. Curry took on Rock and Rave at once. He ducked a Christy clothesline, then did what Tenay characterized as "Dancing with the Stars" type moves on her including a kiss. As always in pro wrestling, women love uninvited kisses, and she smiled here. She got a two count on Curry a minute later after a slam by Rock. Christy slapped Shark in mid-ring a minute later. Shark had enough and gave her a Stunner, just like when Steve Austin did it to Stacy Keibler (the low point of his on-camera career, I'd argue). Curry gave Rock and Rave a double Death Valley Driver after shoving Rock head-first into Rave's crotch as he stood on the ropes. Curry moved in and covered Christy for the win, but immediately tried to awaken her. West said he's checking to see if she needs mouth-to-mouth.
WINNERS: Shark & Curry & Eric in 9:00.
STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Better than it had any right to be. Well booked and executed. Curry's act of being a ladies man fit his role in the match.
-A video package aired on Awesome Kong and ODB.
2 -- AWESOME KONG (w/Ryesha Saeed) vs. ODB
ODB swigged a fan's beer before the match in the aisle. Saeed attacked her from behind. West said she may have been trying to get revenge for ODB trying to unmask her a couple weeks ago. He added, in a jaw-dropper, that he was uncomfortable with ODB trying to take off her mask because it's part of her religion. That is an amazing turnaround, and credit to TNA for realizing how inappropriate (or at least not admirable) it was of ODB to be initially applauded for trying to unmask Saeed for no reason. ODB made a quick comeback, but Kong then jumped her from behind. Kong took control at first in the ring. At 2:00 they brawled into the crowd. ODB used a plastic garbage can as a weapon, which always looks silly. Who would ever reach for one of those in an actual fight? Kong dragged ODB by her hair back to the rampway. At 5:00, ODB avoided a charging Kong, who then went head first into a chair wedged in the corner. ODB set up a table. Kong rested and managed to set up an Awesome Kong. ODB fought out of it, but Kong nailed ODB with a clothesline. Kong climbed to the second rope. ODB powerbombed her off of the ropes onto a table. Kong slipped off the table and in a scary bump, landed on her head and neck. ODB was slow to get up and barely moved, instead putting weight on Kong. It looked scary for a few seconds. ODB held her left hand in pain and covered Kong, who did show her neck wasn't broken as she moved into a position to get pinned. Kong kicked out at two. Saeed yanked ODB out of the ring by her leg. ODB splatted onto the floor, but then came back against Saeed and whipped her hard into the security railing. ODB got up and returned to the ring just as Kong also rose to her feet. ODB seemed wobbly and even a tad disoriented. She leaped off the top rope. Kong caught her. ODB small packaged her for a two count. Kong reversed ODB into the corner and hit a clothesline, then dropped her with a spinning backfist. Saeed pulled out a table for Kong. It took her a while, and it appeared to be the first time she had ever handled the large and awkward table, but finally slid it into the ring. ODB plled out her flask and swigged from it, then turned and sprayed it in Kong's face. She followed with some chops to the chest, but Kong caught her and slammed her hard into the table propped in the corner for the win. ODB reached up at her head in pain as Kong got the three count.
WINNER: Kong in 10:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4 -- I can't go higher because I was seriously worried for their well-being at various times and it got sloppy and unrealistic - or too realistic. They made it seem too real to the point of it being uncomfortable to watch, but they put in a real strong effort overall to have a memorable match. There are just some moves they probably shouldn't be doing given their weight-to-strength ratio mixed with sweat and fatigue leading to serious danger for both.
-Lauren interviewed Christian Cage who said when he grew up, people laughed at him saying his dream was to become a wrestler. He said when he did become a wrestler, those same people laughed and said he'd never make it to the top, but they were wrong, too. He said he proved them wrong since he is now a two-time World Champion. He said when he first won the title, all of the 20 hour drives and eating a can of tuna in place of a full meal and sleeping in a corner because he couldn't afford a hotel room were made worth it. He said this will be a new high when he wins the title and his dream come true again. It's doubtful TNA is going to headline Bound for Glory with Christian defending against Sting.
-A video package aired on Team 3D, Abyss, and Matt Morgan.
3 -- MATT MORGAN & ABYSS vs. TEAM 3D
Tenay said an architect building a perfect wrestler would build Morgan. Abyss got the better of Ray and then Devon. Morgan tagged n and too Devon down with a sideslam. When Ray charged into the ring, they double-suplexed him. Morga show-boated like he just did something amazing as Team 3D retreated to ringside, then threatened to walk out on the match. At 6:00 Morgan walked the top rope with a grip on Ray's hand, a "tribute" to Undertaker. The crowd may have seen it as a ripoff as they booed. He leaped off the top rope with a bodyblock on Devon in center ring. Abyss and Ray brawled at ringside as Morgan gave Devon a big boot to the chest. Ray yanked the ref out of the ring. Morga set up Devon for his Elevator. Johnny Devine ran to the ring and hit Morgan with a chair from behind. The ref didn't see it, but did count a near fall on Morgan. Team 3D gave Morgan a 3D for a believable near fall at 9:00. Morgan popped up and nailed Ray and Devon with a double clothesline, then tagged in Abyss. Abyss took care of an interfering Devine with a drop down torture rack. He then turned to Devon and mounted him in the corner with a barrage of punches. They were extremely, extremely lousy looking punches. Ray lifted Abyss onto his shoulders. Abyss didn't look excited about taking this move. He could barely keep his balance as Devon hit a top rope clothesline. Another move they just shouldn't do if they're that unsteady. Morgan got back to the ring and brawled with Ray to the floor. Abyss then hit Devon with a chokeslam center ring for a near fall. Abyss saw a chair and then picked it up. He stared at it and contemplated using it. Tenay wondered if he could pull the trigger. As he paused, Ray entered the ring and hit him from behind. Morgan yanked Ray out of the ring, then Devon grabbed the chair and held is in the air awkwardly long waiting for Morgan to get into the ring. Morgan finally entered the ring and turned Devon around and punched the chair into his head. Abyss then hit a Black Hole Slam for the pin on Devon.
WINNERS: Abyss & Morgan in 11:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Sloppy and clunky a lot of the time, but good enough at other times to be mostly okay.
-As Abyss and Morgan celebrated, Morgan indicated he wanted a tag title shot. Ray gave Abyss a low-blow. Morgan looked, then looked away, as he was supposed to wait to get hit by Ray from behind. Ray smashed Morgan across the back with the chair. Morgan went down and grabbed his head even though he was hit on his back. That whole sequence was a notch short of smooth in several ways. Ray dropped the chair by Abyss and scurried out of the ring. When Abyss got up, Morgan thought Abyss hit him with the chair. Morgan chewed out Abyss angrily and threw a tantrum. Abyss looked sad, then angry at the false accusation. Abyss told him to look him in the eye and believe him. Morgan left the ring, not so sure he could trust his partner. Of course, this misunderstanding will be over within a couple minutes as people backstage inform Morgan of what happened and show him a replay, so at least their disagreement won't exist for long. Right? Right?
-A video package aired on Consequences Creed.
4 -- PETEY WILLIAMS (w/Rhaka Khan) vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED vs. SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR -- X Division Championship match
At 2:00 Creed hit a nice flip dive over the top rope onto Petey and Bashir at ringside. He mostly overshot them, but it was athletic as he landed on his feet. The crowd was mixed, cheering for Petey and booing Creed early, but the crowd did pop for Creed's big highspot there. Bashir took control briefly at 3:00, but Petey cut him off. At 6:00, after nonstop action, Petey signalled for the Canadian Destroyer on both men. They escaped. West said it was cocky and he shouldn't have tried it. Creed came back and pressed Petey and dropped him onto his knees as Bashir jumped him from behind. He went for a quick cover, but only got a two count. Petey came back and signalled for a CD on Creed. Creed escaped. Petey played to the local crowd with a Sharpshooter on Bashir, which got a pop. Tenay and West noted that Earl Hebner was the ref. Bashir was about to reach for the bottom rope, so Petey hooked his arm and dragged him back to center ring. Creed leaped off the ropes and bulldogged Petey for a two count. The crowd booed. Petey set up a Canadian Destroye ron Creed out of nowhere, but Creed reversed it and dropped him down onto his head into a pinning position for a believable near fall. With Bashir knocked to ringside, Petey avoided a Creed charge in the corner, then hit the Canadian Destroyer out of nowhere for near fall. Bashir broke up the pin, threw Petey into the ringside barrier, and then covered Creed for the win.
WINNER: Bashir in 9:00 to capture the X Division Championship.
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good action. The fact that Bashir's music is the sound of airplanes crashing into a building and exploding is among the most scummy promoting tactics in history. Just beyond words how absolutely disgusting it is. It's the type of thing that should put a risk their their deals with Spike TV and InDemand, it's that bad. Coming three days after the anniversary makes it worse, but it really isn't acceptable on any day.
-A video package aired on the TNA Knockouts Title match.
5 -- TAYLOR WILDE vs. ANGELINA LOVE (w/Velvet Sky, Kute Kip) -- TNA Knockouts Title match
Kip's sporting a new dye job with reddish blond spiked hair. Taylor announced before the match she has a "new best friend" to offset Kip's presence at ringside. Out came Rhino. They opened the match with a slapfest. They flashed on the screen that they were live from Osawa, Ont. The font looked like it was out of 1988, not 2008. Traci Brooks walked and took notes on what she was watching. Taylor gained control. Love bailed out to regroup with Sky and Kip at rngside. Taylor chased Love around the ring, but Sky cut her off with a make-up kit. Traci feverishly took notes. The gave Love the opening to take control for a while. At 5:00 Taylor tried to suplex Love off the ropes, but Love raked her eyes and then dropped her to the mat. Taylor surprised Love with a rollup for a near fall. She followed with a roundhouse kick to the head. When Kip entered, Rhino gave him a Gore. Sky then held Taylor. Love swung and missed. Taylor dropkicked Love into Sky. Then she hit a bridge suplex for the win.
WINNER: Taylor Wilde in 6:00 to retain the TNA Knockouts Title.
STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Short, but good action. It's another one of those finishes that TNA does too often because it consciously or subconsciously conditions fans not to believe a match can end until there's some sort of interference or ref bump or whatever.
-A video package aired on So Cal Val's love triangle.
6 -- "BLACK MACHISMO" JAY LETHAL vs. SONJAY DUTT -- Battle to Wed So Cal Val - Ring on a Pole Match
So Cal Val came out first. Sonjay presented Val a bouquet of roses to Val. Lethal countered with a bigger bouquet, and threw Dutt's to the mat. Val didn't seem pleased with the whole situation. West tried to explain Val's method of deciding betwee the two love interests, but he didn't seem sympathetic to the ridiculousness of the whole thing. The action spilled to the floor early. Tenay said he was just told Jackie attacked Selinas in the women's locker room. Lethal backdropped Dutt onto a ladder bridged at ringside. When Lethal climbed the ladder, Dutt met him at the top and threw him face-first over the top rope. Dutt then climbed the ladder. Lethal caught up, lifted him, and smashed hi back-first into the ladder at 6:00. Dutt brought a second ladder into the ring and bridged it between the ladder mid-ring and the top rope, then yanked Lethal onto it. Dutt senton flipped onto Lethal. The crowd chanted "TNA! TNA!" They cut to fans chanting. West said whoever wins this match deserves Val, "or at least a night with her." Hilarious. A chant of "This is Awesome!" broke out. Lethal tried to battering ram Dutt off the ladder with the other ladder, but Dutt dropped down. Dutt set one ladder on top of the other ladder. Lethal catapulted Dutt at the ladder. Dutt missed. The crowd booed as it looked choreographed. West covered nicely for Dutt reaching up to try to reach the ladder mid-air by saying he was instinctively trying to block any contact. The crowd will turn on a match in a second. Geesh. Dutt crotched Lethal over a ladder rung as it was still bridged between the sanding ladder and second rope. Lethal springboarded into Dutt, knocking him onto the standing ladder, which tipped over. Dutt stuck Lethal's head into the ladder and then set him upside down tree-of-woe style, then slidekicked the ladder. Innovative move that didn't look fun for Lethal at all. At ringside Val continued to stare at the match like Festus before the bell rings. Dutt bridged a ladder on two chairs at ringside. Lethal came back and tried to powerbomb him onto the ladder. Dutt slipped free and kicked Lethal in the gut, then gave him a neckbreaker onto it. Nice spot. It seems like these two committed to use all new ladder spots and they're pretty close to succeeding. Val began to break down emotionally at ringside as fans began another "This is awesome!" chant. Lethal and Dutt each set up a ladder mid-ring. "I hope she's worth it. I hope they're not disappointed," said West. I expect him to start naming sexual techniques she better agree to. They each climbed the ladder. Dutt rammed Lethal's face into the top of the ladder, then rode him from behind and applied a camel clutch. Great visual. Lethal snap mared Dutt off of him and to the mat for a long distance flatback bump. Crazy. Lethal moved to the ladder closer to the hanging ring, but he got his leg caught. He asked the ref for help. Val entered the ring and helped Lethal loose. Dutt got up and yelled at Val viciously. She backed off and cried. West almost sounded sympathetic to Dutt. Lethal checked on Val as Dutt climbed the ladder. Lethal cllmbed the other side. Val got up and low-blowed Lethal from behind. Dutt scorede the pin. Dutt and Val made out in the ring, giving Edge and Lita a run for their money for slobbery uninhibited tongue kissing and even face licking.
WINNER: Dutt in 15:00.
STAR RATING: ***3/4 -- Really good ladder match. They managed to really innovate and not rely on the standard ladder spots we've seen so often before. The problem with the finish is that it made no sense that Val would save Lethal seconds before turning on him. It's one of those things that's done for drama that doesn't seem the least bit realistic.
-Jeremy Borash interviewed Kurt Angle. He called Canada a toilet bowl. He said Christian will have a short ambulance ride for him. He then said his Gold Medal means more to him than his kids and A.J. Styles stole it from him. He promised all of the gold would come back to him tonight.
7 -- BEER MONEY INC. vs. LAX (Hernandez & Homicide) -- TNA Tag Team Title match
The first six minutes was just back and forth solid basic action. LAX cleared the ring of both heels after a four-way brawl. Hernandez then backdropped a charging Homicide over the top rope onto Roode at ringside. He came up a bit shot, but made some contact. Storm sprayed beer in the face of Hernandez and powerbombed him off the top rope to the mat. Homicide whipped Roode into the ringside steps. Hector and Jackie argued at ringside. Homicide swung a beer bottle at Roode, but Roode moved and the beer bottle hit the ringside steps and shattered. Hernandez leaped over the top rope onto Storm on the floor. Back in the ring, Homicide and Roode battled. Roode went for a Payoff suplex, but Homicide blocked it and hit his Gringos Stunner. He signaled for the finish and set up his finisher, but Jackie entered the ring and threw powder in his eyes. Roode then gave Homicide the Payoff suplex for the three count.
WINNERS: Beer Money in 8:00 to retain the TNA Tag Team Titles.
STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Basic match. Nothing wrong with it, but despite the highpoints late, it felt like a match to cool down the crowd after the ladder match. Another finish that conditions viewers to never consider a pinfall attempt a serious potential finish until there's some sort of interference - such as powder from Jackie this time.
-Frank Trigg came out with an American flag. He addressed the crowd and said it's not the first time he's come to Canada, but he hopes to God it's the last time. "This country really does suck," he said. He ripped on their Blue Jays and Maple Leafs. (Cheap heat alert.) He said what he does hurts a lot of people, and from the looks of the crowd, he'd love to beat all of the guys up. He said tonight, though, he has someone else in mind - A.J. Styles. He said he'd be happy to make Styles an honorary Canadian because America doesn't want him. He detailed the injuries he was going to inflict on Styles to send him to the hospital.
8 -- FRANK TRIGG vs. A.J. STYLES -- Three Round Submission (MMA-style) match
ROUND ONE: It sure felt real early, with a nice takedown by Trigg. Trigg threw a nice bodyshot and a knee in the corner. Styles shot in. They tumbled to the floor where Trigg took some illegal shots at Styles. Styles punched back. The refs separated them and sent them back into the ring. They returned to the ring. West said Trigg throught this would be his world, but Styles can adjust. Trigg took Styles down immediately and controlled him on the mat. He drove in some knees, then taunted him with some slaps to the face. Styles upkicked. Trigg avoided it and threw a punch. Trigg then went for an armbar, but Styles was tied up in the ropes to force a break. The crowd chanted, "We want wrestling! We want wrestling!" The director actually cut to a close-up of the crowd and amplified the sound. Strange decision, assuming anyone in the truck was paying attention to the actual chant in the first place instead of just instinctively going to the crowd when they heard a chant. At 4:00 the crowd booed as the two circled in the ring. Trigg tossed Styles to the mat again and once again controlled him on the mat. He had Styles's back. A loud "Fire Russo!" chant broke out, as if this type of match is reminiscent of Russo's style. Styles surprised Trigg with a flying armbar takedown. He tried to extend Trigg's arm. but the round ended first to potentially save Trigg. West said, "Un-believable!" Tenay said another ten or fifteen seconds and Styles may have popped Trigg's elbow. Why don't wrestlers incorporate that move into regular matches?
The screen then went blank for two or three minutes. When it came back on, there were two topless women lying together. Unbelievable. That was a system-wide error and there will be a lot of people upset and others pleasantly surprised. When they went back life, Styles pulled out a kendo stick from under the ring and beat on Trigg. His music played as Tenay said the match was ruled a no contest. He said Styles got the last word. Styles left the ring and told Tenay and West that he's a wrestler he doesn't do "that stuff." Tenay said not only did Styles hold his own in Trigg's world, but he almost won.
WINNER: No contest. The brief image of the naked women will be talked about for years as one of the funniest blunders on pro wrestling PPV, and not so funny for parents watching with their kids. Cable companies across the country might be bombarded with irate parents tomorrow.
-Borash interviewed Samoa Joe backstage. Joe said when he came to TNA, he respected Sting, but shortly thereafter he lost his respect for him. Joe said they've been doing "house shows" all over the country, but where has Sting been? He listed all of the cities where Joe has wrestled, but said Sting was at home being one of the highest paid men in TNA who works the very least. He said when he bleeds like him and only has one day to spend with his family per week, he'll respect him. He asked Sting to respect his one request: Beginning, middle, or end, come to ringside during his match and maybe he can learn to respect him. It wasn't really clear what Joe was actually challenging Sting to do.
9 -- SAMOA JOE vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE vs. KURT ANGLE -- TNA World Hvt. Title match
No mention of Jeff Jarrett all show to this point. Christian's ring intro took place first. Then Angle. Then Joe. Then Sting answered Joe's challenge right away, walking down the aisle to go face-to-face with Joe. Sting yapped at Joe. Joe punched him. Then punched him again. As they began to brawl, Styles came out and pulled Joe away. Sting taunted Joe and then walked to the back. Borash did formal ring intros. West said the one person Sting doesn't want to face next month is Joe since he's trying to take him off his game. Tenay said he doesn't know if that's the case. Joe and Christian took Angle out early, then battle each other for a couple of minutes. Angle eventually returned and knocked Christian out of the ring. Then Angle got control of Joe, settling into a chinlock at 5:00. Christian returned to the ring at 6:00. Angle suplexed Joe and then Christian from behind. He scored a two count on Christian. Joe gave Angle a snap powerslam for a near fall. Christian attempted an Unprettier on Angle, but Angle escaped and hit a series of suplexes. Joe went after Angle. As Angle set up a belly-to-belly on Christian, Joe grabbed them both and suplexed them to the mat. Joe covered Christian for a near fall. Can a match end without interference of some kind? The crowd didn't think so by this point, as there wasn't much of a pop for the kickout by their fellow Canadian. With Joe knocked to the floor. Angle stalked Christian. Christian countered an Angle slam attempt with an armdrag. On the ring apron, Angle went for a back suplex. Christian held on to the top rope tightly. Angle leaped into the ring, grabbed Christian's ankle, and went for the anklelock. Joe schoolboyed Angle from behind for a two count. Angle then put the ankelock on Joe. Christian went for a break-up, but Angle grabbed his ankle, too, for a double anklelock. Joe and Christian both tucked and tossed Angle off of them. Joe went right after Christian with some slaps and then a Muscle Buster. Angle held onto the ref as Joe made the cover for a visual three count. By the time Angle let go, Christian was rested enough to break free. West said that Christian was tuned into the hand slapping sound and when he didn't hear it, he didn't bother to kick out. Has any announcer in history ever pointed that obvious fact out before - that a wrestler who suffers a visual pin wouldn't necessarily have been pinned if he heard the ref counting? Great point by West, but it might be against the unwritten rules of wrestling announcing to point that out. Joe dove onto Angle and Christian at ringside at 13:00. Back in the ring, Joe went for a Musclebuster on Angle. Angle raked his eyes and hit an Olympic slam. Christian climbed to the top rope, leapfrogged Angle, frogsplashed Joe, tossed Angle out of the ring, and then set up the Unprettier. He hit it. Joe was KO'd. Christian made the cover, but Angle yanked Earl Hebner out of the ring by his legs and then threw him into the ringside barrier. Hebner went down. Angle brought a chair into the ring. Christian kicked him in the gut. He picked up the chair. Angle low-blowed Christian and then smacked him across the side of his head unprotected with a chairshot. He then gave Christian an Olympic slam out of the ring. Angle smashed Joe across his back with a chair, then applied an ankelock. Jarrett walked out with a guitar in hand. He stood with a guitar in hand. Angle charged at him. Jarrett smashed Angle over the head with the guitar and then left the ring. Joe then gave Angle a Musclebuster. The ref returned to the ring for the pin. The crowd didn't react positively to the finish and didn't seem to care at all about Jarrett, who did not get a star reaction. "But it's Canada," will be the excuse/reason.
WINNER: Joe in 16:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- Good match. The booking made sense within TNA's style, but it's yet another example of a match ending only after obvious outside interference.
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