PPV REPORTS KELLER'S TNA FINAL RESOLUTION PPV REPORT 12/7: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live event
Dec 7, 2008 - 9:52:01 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
KELLER'S TNA FINAL RESOLUTION PPV REPORT
DECEMBER 7, 2008
ORLANDO, FLA. AT THE IMPACT ZONE
LIVE ON PPV
-Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show and ran down the entire line-up of matches. They were reserved in their delivery relative to normal.
1 -- FEAST OR FIRE MATCH
Order of ring intros (they all came out to the same generic song): Cute Kip, Sonjay Dutt (w/So Cal Val), Jimmy Rave, Lance Rock, Alex Shelley, B.G. James (he's the obvious loser since he's mostly a backstage agent now), "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed, Curry Man (last year's loser, Christopher Daniels, under a mask pretending to be Japanese, is another candidate since his gimmick may have run its course), Hernandez, Homicide, and Shark Boy. Tenay said the contents of one briefcase will be revealed tonight, the other three on Impact on Thursday night. Lots of stand up fighting in the ring and at ringside. Dutt had his trunks pulled half way dow in back. At 4:00 Hernandez shot Rave with a Border Toss onto a crowd on the floor, then he grabbed Case #4, the first to be grabbed. Curry Man danced on Kip's back. B.G. entered and went for a briefcase, but Shark stopped him. Tenay said Petey Williams couldn't get medical clearance due to a concussion so he was excluded from the match. Curry grabbed Case #3. Homicide gave a Gringos Cutter to Lethal off the top rope just as Lethal was grabbing for a case. Homicide climbed to get a case, but Dutt met him at the top. Homcide crotched Dutt on the top turnbuckle, then Homicide stood on Dutt to grab Case #1. Shelley gave Rave a Sliced Bread #2 off the to rope with help from Sabin. That prompted a chant of "TNA, TNA." Shelley dropped Lethal from grabbing the final case. Sabin gave Lethal a top rope dropkick off of Shelley's shoulders. Finally, Shelley grabbed the final case, but as he and Sabin celebrated, Tenay pointed out it's not their until they bring it to the floor. Lethal springboarded at them from behind and grabbed the case and rolled to the floor to win it.
WINNERS: Lethal, Curry Man, Homicide, Hernandez in 13:00.
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Entertaining action. Lots of innovative, athletic spots.
-Jeremy Borash stepped into the ring and congratulated the winners gathered at ringside. Shelley and Sabin remained inside the ring. As Borash explained that three of them would get a title shot and the fourth would be fired on the spot. He asked them if they were 100 percent aware of what they were getting into. Borash said he was going to offer just once the chance for any of them to walk away and forfeit their briefcase. Tenay said that's a big decision. It's a little silly to think a wrestler, knowing the rules ahead of time, would fight hard to win the case only to relinquish it. Borash said they're randomly picked a number and that case will be opened tonight. Borash revealed it was no. 2 - Jay Lethal's case. West wishes aloud that someone would get Shelley and Sabin out of the ring. He said they lost and they should leave. Borash said, "Gentleman, please!" He said if they have a problem with the rules, go talk to Mick Foley. Borash opened the briefcase, revealing that Lethal won the tag team title shot. That really stung Shelley and Sabin, since that was the case they grabbed first. Borash finally snapped and said, "The name of the company, Alex, is Total Nonstop Action, not Total Nonstop A-Hole, and that's what you've become." He said when he looks around at the 250 people that TNA employs, he can say without a doubt he is the most annoying person he has to work with. Borash stormed out of the ring, while repeating, "Let me do my job."
-Backstage, Lauren interviewed The Beautiful People, Cute Kip, and Sharmell. She said even though she smells like a lady, "what's beneath the package is something you're not ready for." Velvet Sky said ODB's cellulite disgusts her. She told all of the ladies in the back to quit exposing her to it. She said they do bad things to bad people. She said they never start anything. Instead, they take out of the trash of what others start with them. She said they accepted this match because they wanted another Crib. Angelina Love thanked Booker for his locker room in advance. Kip kept posturing behind them with facial expressions, hamming it up like Rudy Giuliani's son. In mid-sentence, Love got a cell call from Gov. Palin. She told her that they were about to go on a Moose Hunt. Palin told Love that she wants to visit them again at the Impasse Zone. She said she'd put them on the list. Well, "Gov. Palin" was in the top rated segments last Thursday.
2 -- ANGELINA LOVE & VELVET SKY (w/Cute Kip) & SHARMELL vs. ODB & ROXXI & TAYLOR WILDE
The faces cleared the ring of the heels in the opening seconds. The crowd chanted "ODB, ODB." At 3:00 ODB tagged in and wanted Sharmell. She hid behind the ringpost. Kip entered the ring. ODB made a variety of sexually crude gestures toward Kip. Love and Sky jumped ODB from behind as the ref tried to get Kip out of the ring. ODB took a beating for a while, including Kip choking her on the bottom rope as Sharmell distracted the ref. At 5:00 Sharmell tagged in and took a few opportunistic shots at her. When ODB showed a sign of a comeback, Sharmell quickly tagged out to Sky. Tenay aptly called it a "hit and run attack." At 7:00 Sharmell got caught in the ring with ODB. Kip entered the ring and shoved ODB. ODB punched him and then chased Sharmell to the back. Back in the ring Wilde and Love fought. Out of nowhere, Wilde rolled through on a top rope crossbody block by Love for the win.
WINNERS: Roxxi & ODB & Wilde in 8:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Harmless fun, with the various personalities playing off of each other well.
-Borash interviewed Young, who said for a while he was a share of his former self, but he has his confidence back. He talked about having hopes and dreams again. Shelley and Sabin interrupted. They told Young they wanted to borrow Borash for a minute. Young lectured them about getting on board because they are fighting for their futures. Shelley said everyone has to earn his trust other than Sabin. Young left to prepare for his match. Shelley shoved Borash against the lockers. He said he'd give hi a pass this time. Borash, with a soft voice, told him Foley is in Jarrett's office (as usual). Shelley adjusted Borash's suit jacket, then walked away.
3 -- SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. ERIC YOUNG -- X Division Title match
Shane Sewell was again assigned to Bashir's match. West said Young told him the week he held the X Division Title was the best of his life and he wants it back. West said Young was the "daredevil" of Team Canada back in TNA's early days. Bashir threw Young to the floor at 2:00 and then followed him to the floor. He threw him face-first into the steps, then whipped him back-first into them. He scored a two count afterward in the ring. Young made a comeback at 5:00 and hit a top rope elbowdrop for a near fall. Young overshot badly on a moonsault a minute later, leading to a two count for Bashir. They shifted into third gear. Young hit a side slam and went for a pin. Bashir put his foot on the ropes to break up the pin. Viewers pretty much know the match wasn't going to end until Bashir and Sewell got into it. At this point, they did, with an argument and then a shove by Bashir. Sewell made cartoon faces and shook and ran in place. Bashir trned to tend to Young. Young went for a sunset flip. Bashir held onto the top rope. Sewell kicked Bashir's hands free. Young rolled through and scored a pin.
WINNER: Young in 9:00.
STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Solid action.
-Afterward, Bashir slapped Sewell. Sewell made cartoon faces ad then punched Bashir. When Bashir came back after him, he bacdropped him. Bashir then hit Sewell with the X Title belt. When Young moved in, Bashir backdropped him over the top rope to the floor. Sewell came up bleeding. Bashir pounded away at his forehead and then choked him with a white towell. Bashir bit at his forehead, getting Sewell's blood all over his face and lips. Bashir then lectured Sewell briefly and left. West said it was tough to watch. Bashir left with the X Title belt. The camera zoomed in as blood continued to gush out of Sewell's forehead. It was pretty graphic. Jim Cornette stepped out onto the stage and yelled at Bashir. He ordered security guards to take the belt from Bashir. They yelled at each other as security left with the belt.
4 -- AWESOME KONG (Raesha Saeed, Rhaka Khan) vs. CHRISTY HEMME -- Knockouts Title match
A video package before the match painted Hemme as a huge underdog, having lost decisively the last time they battled. Ret. Army Staff Sargeant Leslie Mansur was introduced as a guest ring announcer. West and Tenay complimented TNA's initiative to involve members of the Armed Forces. West said training with A.J. Styles is a good thing, but even if she channelled Lou Thesz he doesn't know if she'd have a chance. He said you can't help but root for her because she has such a spark. She was a blood-shot-eyed strung-out heel rocker just a couple months ago, but suddenly she's irresistible. It doesn't help she still has the same music as Rock and Rave. Hemme hit a top rope crossbody block at 1:00. Kong blocked a kick at ringside and took over. At 5:00 Hemme went for a sleeper on Kong. West said she just doesn't give up. "She's like a pesky little wasp you can't get rid of," said West, trying for a compliment but maybe not quite hitting his target. Hemme hit her top rope legdrop, but when she went for a cover, Saeed yanked her by her leg to the floor. Hemme fended her off and returned to the ring to beat on Kong. Saeed entered the ring and attacked Hemme from behind. The ref called for the immediate DQ. Afterward security intervened to try to pry Hemme and Kong apart. Hemme kept going in for more. West said, "This is kind of fun! Christy Hemme just won't give up. God, you gotta admire that." The crowd chanted, "Let them fight."
WINNER: Hemme in 6:00 via DQ so Kong retained the title.
STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Fine for a short match, but the finish wasn't particularly satisfying. The post-match brawl was good.
-Borash interviewed Kurt Angle backstage. He asked how he's feeling right now, with his TNA career at stake. Angle said it's like the hunter who smells blood. He then went into a description of tearing off the animal's flesh and eating the meat. He said he's "lost it" because he's on a hunt for Jeff Jarrett. He said it's ironic there's a rhino in the way. He looked at the camera and told Rhino he's seen a fire in his eyes he hasn't seen before. He said not only that, but he's lit a fire under the Front Line's asses. He said he commends him for that, but it's just a puff of smoke compared to the fire burning inside of him. He said he thinks of Jarrett morning, noon, and night. He said he sees Jeff and his girls and how they're ruined his entire life. He said next month when he has him in the ring at Genesis, he'll beat him within an inch of his life. He guaranteed him he'd have no mercy for him. Borash asked about Mick Foley's role as special guest enforcer. Angle said, "Mick is taken care of. He's taken care of."
5 -- BEER MONEY INC. (Robert Roode & James Storm w/Jacqueline) vs. MATT MORGAN & ABYSS -- TNA Tag Team Title match
Tenay said Morgan and Abyss were destined for success as soon as they teamed together. Tenay said one of the drawbacks of Abyss is his tunnel vision sometimes. He said he's obsessed with getting revenge on Storm and that could work against him. The heels doubled Abyss before the bell to stop his early attack. Morgan quickly evened the odds. Abyss chased Storm at ringside and then into the crowd to the back. Roode followed behind him. Morgan stood in the ring and looked around. Morgan climbed to the top rope and surprised Roode and Storm with a diving crossbody block as soon as they returned. He then celebrated like he scored a touchdown. Four-way action broke out. Storm and Roode bailed out with their belts and headed to the back. The bell still hadn't sounded to officially start the match. The ref ordered the bell to be rung. He said they'd have until the count of ten to enter the ring or they'd forfeit the tag team title belts. Storm and Roode ran to the ring a slid into the ring, then right out again after breaking the count. Tenay announced that Cornette informed him that they were holding up the X Division Title belt based on the way the match ended. West said Cornette is doing the right thing by taking control of the situation. Morgan tagged in Abyss at 3:00. Storm bailed out. Abyss yanked Roode into the ring and set up a chokeslam. Roode escaped, but Abyss hit a sideslam next for a two count. The heels eventually took control of Morgan. Several minutes later Morgan hot-tagged Abyss. Storm bailed out and left Roode to battle a fresh, motivated Abyss. Abyss set up a Shock Treatment, btu Storm broke it up with a kick to his gut. Abyss no-sold Storm's attack. Storm swung a beer bottle at Abyss, but Abyss blocked it and took it. He wound up, but Jackie stepped between them. Storm then pulled out brass knuckles. He KO'd Abyss with them and then tossed the knux far from the ring before scoring a quick three count.
WINNERS: Storm & Roode in 11:00 to retain the tag titles.
STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Solid basic tag match. Good heelish stalling early to really sell the idea that they were afraid of Abyss. Good to see the old school brass knux finish used effectively.
-Lauren interviewed Mick Foley backstage. Foley said there is pressure all around the match, but there's no pressure on him. He said he intends to keep the Main Event Mafia out of the ring. Shelley and Sabin walked up to him. He told Shelly, "Happy Thanksgiving," ribbing him about the turkey outfit. Shelley said, "I've been doing a bit of thinking and I've realized we're just different people. We're good looking young kids, we're relevant, girls love us. You're, with all due respect, a bit of a dinosaur." Foley said kids love dinosaurs. Shelley said, "Kids also eat dirt. Are you really going to use them as a barometer of intelligence." Shelley said he's figured out a way to mend fences. He suggested Foley go to the ring and overturn that decision from earlier and give them the tag team title shot "and everybody goes home happy." Foley said he's not sure if they're asking or telling him to go out there. Shelley said a little of column A, a little of column B. Foley said he'd take it under advisement. Foley told Lauren one day that kid will get exactly what he's got coming to him. He said it might be as soon as Thursday.
-Tenay and West were shown on camera discussing the big two matches scheduled next. Shelley and Sabin walked out and interrupted them. Tenay said they were interrupted "an on-camera reset," throwing out production side jargon.
-Shelley and Sabin entered the ring. Shelley said because they're out there twice, they might get charged twice for this event on their PPV bill. He said Foley is about to walk out and crown them the no. 1 contenders. Shelley said Foley is taking his time. He said they found chairs with excellent lower lumbar support. They were plain old folding chairs. Shelley said they're sitting in the ring until Foley gets his ass out there. Cornette stepped out and said, "Mick Foley has better things to do than wet nurse a couple of crybabies like you." He said Shelley couldn't whip half of Mick Foley if the other half was helping him. He told him to get their butts out of their chairs and out of the building right now. "Or what, Jim," asked Shelley. "Do we look like a low rent Rock 'n' Roll Express to you? Do I look like a cross-eyed Robert Gibson? Does he looked like Ricky Morton. Are you going to hit us with a tennis racquet." Cornette said he'd send security out there to drag them kicking and screaming out of the arena. Shelley and Sabin leaned back in their chairs. Shelley said they should have brought cards. The lights then went out and Suicide's name appeared on the big screen. He then flew to the ring on a rope like a superhero. He attacked Shelley and Sabin as his theme music played. He left them in the ring wondering what hit them.
-Lauren interviewed Rhino. She said, "I shouldn't be here, should I?" He said, "No, you shouldn't." Rhino said the words Angle has been speaking lately are sick. He called him demented for bringing up Jarrett's girls. He said when he speaks about Jarrett's daughters, it's like he's speaking to his little girl. He said he's fighting for Jarrett's three little girls tonight. He said he's a violent man living in a violent world and tonight he's going to up that violence. Good promo from Rhino, who's far better when he's intense but not yelling (and not treating Lauren disrespectfully).
6 -- KURT ANGLE vs. "WAR MACHINE" RHINO
Foley came out first to be special enforcer referee. Then Rhino, then Angle. Both wrestlers had their game faces on. West said Angle may be the best wrestler ever, but Rhino has really found his game lately. Lots of headlocks early by Rhino. Angle caught a charging Angle with a knee. When Rhino climbed to the top rope, Angle knocked him to the floor. Angle beat on Rhino at ringside for a minute, then settled into a chinlock with a leg bodywrap afterward. Rhino punched out of it at 6:00 and hit a belly-to-belly to flatten Rhino. Angle showboated with his arms extended. They cut to Foley observing from ringside. Angle settled back into a chinlock while riding Rhino's back. Slow, deliberate pace in the opening ten minutes with a few bursts of action. Angle applied an anklelock mid-ring at 10:00. Rhino powered out. Angle charged. Rhino kicked him in the gut. Rhino lifted Angle powerbomb-style, but dropped Angle backward, face-first over the top turnbuckle at 11:00. Angle caught Rhino with an Angle Slam for a two count. The crowd barely popped as it's rare a TNA match ends that way. Rhino reversed Angle into the ref in the corner. Angle stopped short. Rhino shot in. Angle moved. The ref went down. Angle hit a clothesline on Rhino, then rolled to the floor as Foley rolled into the ring to become acting referee. Angle brought a chair into the ring. Foley warned him to put the chair down. Angle dropped the chair. Rhino rolled up Angle from behind for a quick two count. Angle popped back up and went on offense, knocking Rhino down with a running elbow to his face. Foley shoved the other ref out of the ring with his boot, which drew some laughs from the crowd. Rhino and Angle battled on the top rope. Rhino hit a superplex on Angle. Foley counted a near fall. Al Snow walked out to ringside. When Foley leaned through the ropes to talk to him, Snow slapped him. Tenay talked about this being an intriguing selection by Angle given Snow's history with Angle. Angle surprised Rhino with a chairshot and the Angle Slam, then scored the pin. Foley hestitated on the third count. Snow watched from ringside with his arms crossed. Tenay said Foley always cracked jokes at the expense of Foley.
WINNER: Angle in 14:00.
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Disappointing match. Okay, but too much conventional ground work. The surprise appearance by Snow was a good twist. He's a good addition to TNA if he sticks around. He's got name value, he's fresh due to a lack of exposure in recent years, he can cut promos, he can give younger guys valuable experience in the ring with him, and he has a history with Foley for them to play off of.
-Afterward, Angle said when he's done with Jarrett, Foley's next. "You're next, you old son of a bitch. I'm going to beat the shit out of you." He didn't get bleeped. He dropped the mic and walked out. Angle winked and gave a thumbs up to Snow. Tenay said Angle one-upped Jarrett and Foley. Angle raised Snow's arm on the stage.
-Lauren interviewed the Main Event Mafia backstage. Sting said everyone on his team knew this would be a war. He said he has faith in the experience fighting with him tonight. He said they've seen it all and survived it. He added, "Frontline, watch and learn."
-After a video package aired previewing the main event, Borash interviewed them backstage. Borash said the question on everyone's mind is if he could trust Team 3D. Brother Ray interjected and said, "Are you for real?" He said Tenay said it earlier, and now Borash. Styles demanded to know who "everyone" is. He asked if it was Angle. He told Borash to look into their eyes. He said ten years ago they were in the position that Styles and Joe are now in. Styles said they got to where they are by doing the right thing. He said he trusts them like brothers.
7 -- STING & KEVIN NASH & BOOKER T & SCOTT STEINER vs. A.J. STYLES & SAMOA JOE & TEAM 3D -- World Title match
The two teams came out as groups, but were introduced by Borash individually, so the ring intros took a while. Booker and Styles opened against each other. The match began 25 minutes into the third hour, so there was plenty of time for the match. Everyone took turns tagging in and warming up with a few spots before tagging out. Ray went aggressively after Nash with punches. Nash took a couple flat-backs. He splashed him in the corner and then back suplexed him for a two count. Joe tagged in and chopped and kicked Nash, then dropped a knee. Booker broke up his pin attempt at 10:00. Joe took a sustained beating for several minutes. West, hoarse at this point, said Joe is the toughest son of a bitch he's ever seen. Joe made a comeback at 17:00 with a one-arm slam of Steiner. West called it one of the most impressive things he's seen. Styles finally got the hot-tag. He went after Sting. Styles took Nash down with punches and an enzuigiri. He corner splashed Sting and then Steiner, Booker, and Nash. The crowd cheered Styles, but didn't go berserk for the flurry of offense after the hot-tag they had built up for 15 minutes. Joe tagged in and overhead suplexed Sting, who landed awkwardly on his arm. Chaos broke out with all eight. West said it was just a matter of time. Team 3D gave Booker a 3D. Steiner entered and nailed them with clotheslines. Ray gave Steiner a full-nelson sitout powerbomb. Nas gave Ray a chokeslam. Styles springboarded at Nash with a flying forearm. Sting then put Styles in a Scorpion. Joe superkicked Sting and set him in the corner. Nash backdropped Styles to the floor. Nash then gave Joe a low blow as he was setting up the Muscle Buster on Sting. Sting then gave Joe the Scorpion Death Drop for the three count.
WINNERS: Sting & Nash & Steiner & Booker in 20:00.
STAR RATING: *** -- Relatively satisfying PPV main event. It's tough with an eight-man tag match not to have that extended stretch early where everyone tags in and out just to get a few spots in. The storyline of Joe taking a beating and eventually hot-tagging Styles was well done. The finish was fine, as a title change in this match would have been absurd and hurt the stature of the title.
-Afterward, Sting walked away without celebrating with his teammates. Nash and Steiner shouted at him, asking where he was going. Then they blew it off. Tenay and West noted that Sting left on his own as his teammates celebrated. Tenay didn't make a big deal out of it, but the hints of Sting not being proud of his associations at this point continue. Tenay said the Main Event Mafia remain in total control.
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