WWE Raw Live Report
October 1 from Cleveland, Ohio

The show started with a plug for the main event of John Cena vs. the returning Mr. Kennedy. In the ring, three rather large individuals sporting basic wrestling gear were in the ring. Vince McMahon's music hit and he entered the ring to accept a mic. He talked up tonight's main event as worthy of a WrestleMania headliner: Triple H vs. the greatest physical specimen in all of mankind, himself. He then guaranteed victory tonight. They rolled footage of McMahon's greatest triumphs in the ring. McMahon then talked up the large men in the ring as an amateur champion, karate champion, and sumo champion. McMahon said they're going to have a little demonstration tonight ahead of his match against Hunter. He then teased fighting all three men before bringing out Umaga to handle the plump individuals. Umaga took out his Wellness frustrations on all three men, including the Samoan Spike on the Ohio state sumo champion. Ross and Lawler plugged Umaga vs. Hunter at the PPV and stacked the deck against Hunter for Sunday night. After appearing to be done, Umaga went back into the ring and delivered a Samoan drop for good measure.

[Commercial Break]

Tomorrow night on ECW, it's Dreamer vs. Burke in the Elimination series.

[Q2]

Jeff Hardy's music hit and the women and kids screamed in delight. He then brought out London and Kendrick with him. They finally figured out how to give the New Rockers some rub. Ross and Lawler discussed the Highlanders attacking London and Kendrick for no reason last week.

1 -- JEFF HARDY & BRIAN KENDRICK & PAUL LONDON vs. CADE & MURDOCH & SHELTON BENJAMIN

Shelton took control early on with a gut buster on Kendrick. The heel trios team then worked on Kendrick to build up the hot tag to Jeff Hardy, who came into the ring with a flying dropkick on Cade. Jeff took over as the superstar in the ring with the Whisper in the Wind on Cade before going up top, only to have Shelton crotch him while the ref was distracted. Suddenly, London flew onto Shelton off the apron with a running shooting star press. Kendrick then hit Sliced Bread #2 on Cade, leading to Jeff nailing the top rope Swanton Bomb for the win.

WINNERS: Hardy & London & Kendrick in 5:00. Sweet goodness, we have some action on the Monday night show. Very exciting action packed into a tight little window. (*1/2)

William Regal was back on the show and on the phone in his office. Vince McMahon then walked in and greeted Regal as the GM of Raw. McMahon said Coach is a bit under the weather tonight. He complemented Regal on his match-making skills on Cena vs. Kennedy. McMahon had one thing to ask Regal, though. He asked him to look after his son tonight. "Shane?" Regal asked. Vince said no, then Hornswoggle entered the lower right corner of the screen and Regal looked down upon him with scorn. McMahon thanked him for looking after him, then Horny disappeared. Regal went searching for him, but could not find him.

We'll hear from Randy Orton on the show tonight.

[Commercial Break]

They went to an interview with Ross and Lawler from ringside with Randy Orton, who was in Chicago via satellite. Orton said he elected not to show up to Raw so he wouldn't have to be around Cena while he's in an unsettled state of mind. Orton said it's not to his advantage to show up tonight, so he'll be waiting. He asked Cena about his state of mind and what his strategy is to keep the belt. Orton said the next time he's on Raw, he'll be the new WWE champion.

[Q3]

Lawler excitedly introduced some of the Cleveland Indians sitting ringside to watch the action. They went to footage from the diva search contest from the beach. They had a slip and slide! This is officially the best diva search of all time.

Backstage, Regal was still looking for Hornswoggle. He found The Highlanders instead. Regal asked them why they refused a tag match with Kendrick and London, then Rory slowly explained they want the tag titles. Regal let him say his piece, then ignored the team and went back to looking for Horny.

[Commercial Break]

They aired a video package on Lillian Garcia's new album dropping next Tuesday.

Cody Rhodes then came out for singles action. They recapped Hardcore Holly dismantling Rhodes last week. Holly then came out for a re-match.

2 -- HARDCORE HOLLY vs. CODY RHODES

Holly landed a high dropkick early on, then Cody came back a roll up attempt for a nearfall. Holly caught Rhodes in the corner and went for the Alabama Slamma for the second consecutive week to score the win.

WINNER: Holly in 2:00. They have the makings of a good program here with Holly and Rhodes. Let's hope they stick with it, as the chemistry and foundation of the program is right. (1/2*)

[Commercial Break]

[Q4]

Beth Phoenix came out and stole the mic from Lillian Garcia. She said it's only a matter of time before she becomes Women's champion. Beth said it's a mere formality that she will beat Candice Michelle at the PPV to win the belt. She asked Lillian to practice announcing her as champion. Beth soaked it in, then Lillian threw in the clause, "assuming you can beat Candice Michelle." Beth took exception to that and threatened to choke out Lillian to hurt her ability to promote her album. She started to choke Lillian before Candice Michelle made the save and cleared Beth to the outside. Candice and Beth had a staredown and Beth made the "belt around the waist" gesture to close the segment.

They showed Hunter taping up backstage, then they recapped Umaga's beat down on the three unknown large men. They cut back to Hunter, who finished taping up his fists.

[Commercial Break]

They aired the Save Us video clip before Vince McMahon walked out for the first of two main event matches tonight. Lillian struggled through her intro after Beth's work on the throat. McMahon then took the mic and went back to some footage from last month when Hunter put Umaga on Wellness dream street with chair shots and sledgehammer shots to the head. Triple H then came out ahead of the top of the second hour. McMahon had enough of Hunter's showboating with the ring entrance and called for the music to be cut. There wasn't a ref, then McMahon demanded that a ref show up. Carlito's music hit and Carlito walked out much to McMahon's surface-level surprise and Hunter's disdain.

[Q5]

3 -- TRIPLE H vs. VINCE MCMAHON -- Carlito special referee

The fans chanted for Hunter while Carlito checked for foreign objects. McMahon used Carlito's check to slap a distracted Hunter across the face. Carlito then called for the bell and McMahon ducked under the ropes to prevent a sudden attack from Hunter. McMahon continued to stall, this time ducking to the outside to force a ten count from Carlito. Hunter had enough of waiting in the ring, so he chased McMahon to the floor. Hunter finally got his hands on McMahon and threw him head-first into the announce table. Carlito and Hunter argued ringside, then Hunter shoved Carlito down on the floor. Hunter went for the Pedigree back in the ring, but Carlito grabbed him and hit the back cracker. McMahon made a quick cover and Carlito applied a fast count, but Hunter kicked out at two. Hunter then low blowed McMahon and smashed Carlito in the face, earning a DQ.

WINNER: McMahon via DQ in 3:00. (n/a)

After the match, Umaga came out and stormed the ring. Hunter waited for him and the two bulls traded right hand blows in center ring. The fans rallied behind Hunter, who ducked a clothesline and staggered Umaga with two clotheslines. Hunter then avoided a Samoan Drop and nailed a DDT, but Umaga no-sold and landed a thrust jab to the throat. Umaga went for a charging splash, but Hunter got a boot up. He then walked into a crescent kick to the throat. Umaga landed a charging rear splash before warming up the Samoan Spike, but Carlito ran into the ring and clotheslined Hunter to the floor. Umaga was pissed at Carlito for fooling around, so Carlito bailed to the outside to avoid Umaga's wrath. Umaga then turned around and found Hunter holding a sledgehammer. Hunter held out his weapon of choice while Umaga pounded his chest in anticipation of a big collision. At the climax of the anticipation, Umaga slipped to the outside and joined McMahon the outside. The fans went from a big roar to a big chorus of boos. McMahon and Umaga slowly walked up the ramp as Hunter challenged him from inside the ring. Ah, we have ourselves a money match. Someone flipped a switch in the writing room for this week's show, although it may be too little too late after weeks of mediocre programming.

[Commercial Break]

Santino Marella is at the Movies this week. Instead of a pre-tape video break down, they had a movie set in the ring with matching director's chairs for Santino and Maria. Santino grabbed Maria by the arm to escort her into the ring, but Maria wasn't too happy about the proximity of Santino to her. Santino took credit for Maria's striking beauty, then Santino introduced the #1 action movie, The Condemned. Maria disagreed with Santino that she likes Stone Cold Steve Austin. Santino said the movie was fun, yes... but they needed a real star such as himself. Charisma. Someone the camera loves. Someone like Santino Marella.

[Q6]

They cut to clips from The Condemned and then showed Santino on a green screen over the footage. Suddenly, Val Venis interrupted Santino's attack on Austin's acting. Venis said he's been in a few feature films himself and Santino ripped on his adult film take-off on Shrek. Venis then asked Maria if she would be in his next feature film: a take-off on Mr. Woodcock. Venis took a shot at Santino's love-making skills, then Santino attacked him and worked on the left knee. Venis clutched his knee in pain as Santino left with Maria, who wasn't very pleased with Santino's actions. The inevitable promo exchange between Santino and Austin might be worth tuning in for.

Backstage, Todd Grisham asked WWE champion John Cena if he's already mentally lost to Randy Orton. Cena said "they" say it's Randy Orton's time and "they" say Cena sucks. He said "they" say Grisham has naked pics of Umaga on his website. OK, he cleaned out the obligatory man-love reference. Cena then said he will keep getting up and Orton could hit him with a chair, a phone, a cell phone, a snow cone, or a student loan. That was terrific. Cena said he will get up against Orton and "they" will never forget it. Great intensity from Cena.

[Commercial Break]

Melina came out for the mid-sixth quarter buffer match and they recapped Melina's run-in with Hornswoggle in the shower. Mickie James then came out in jeans to wrestle.

4 -- MELINA vs. MICKIE JAMES

Mickie landed a back kick to the stomach early on before Melina tossed Mickie into the air for a nearfall. They traded screams and forearm blows before Mickie landed a series of flying clotheslines. Sounds like a long volley in a women's tennis match. Melina then caught Mickie against the ropes with a kick to the face, but it was good for a nearfall only. Melina suddenly started screaming when going for a finisher, but Hornswoggle had popped out from under the
ring and scared Melina. Mickie then rolled up a surprised Melina for the win.

WINNER: Mickie in 3:00. Just a divas match. (3/4*)

[Q7]

After the match, Melina chased Horny under the ring. He then came out with Melina's top and bottom. He danced around the ring while Melina screamed from under the ring. Melina then peeked her head out from under the ring and demanded her attire back. Horny opted to run away up the entrance ramp with his two prized possessions while Melina did her mad face.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Hornswoggle was trying on Melina's outfits before William Regal stormed in and demanded he behave himself. Dr. Steve-O then stepped in and said he's about to find a wussie to turn into a man. Hornswoggle disappeared, then Regal plopped down on the couch and surveyed Melina's outfit with a crazy look of delight. Ross and Lawler were a bit stunned by Regal's demeanor. Lawler suggested Regal take Horny back to the limo and lock him in the glove box. Ross and Lawler broke down the No Mercy PPV card on Sunday.

Backstage, Steve-O found Ron Simmons backstage. He said he thinks Simmons could be a little tougher and more manly. Simmons thought over the offer, then grabbed Steve-O by the pants and chucked him through an exit door. "Damn!" Simmons said. And everyone wins.

John Cena came out for the first time tonight to a huge pop. As Cena made his entrance, there was a long "Cena Please Drop The Belt" sign on the front row facing the hard camera. They didn't go back to the hard camera shot and focused tight on Cena as he walked around the ring before they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q8]

Cena was still pacing the ring when Honey I Shrunk Mr. Kennedy slowly walked out for the main event match and his big return. Kennedy took the ceiling mic and said he really doesn't like Cena. He did his intro while Cena just stood by with a smirk on his face.

5 -- WWE champion JOHN CENA vs. MR. KENNEDY -- non-title match

Cena landed consecutive arm drag take-overs in the opening minute before settling into an arm bar. They moved to the outside and Kennedy rammed Cena into the ring steps. They fought on the outside before cutting to a break.

[Commercial Break]

The first-time ever meeting returned with Cena accepting a DDT in center ring for a nearfall. Kennedy then settled into a reverse chinlock while Cena favored his arm. Cena then escaped and slapped on an STFU. Kennedy suddenly tapped out without much build up.

WINNER: Cena via submission in 8:00. Not much of the match aired, with a quick, decisive finish against Kennedy. Not sure why use Kennedy here for his big return if he's going to tap out quickly in less than 10 minutes. (*1/4)

After the match decision, Cena turned around and Randy Orton suddenly ran into the ring and met him with an RKO in center ring. Orton then walked around the ringside area and grabbed the steel steps. He measured Cena and smashed Cena's hand with the steps. Ross and Lawler screamed at Orton, who started clearing the announce table. Cena then accepted a monitor shot to the face and Cena slumped across the announce table. Women screamed as Orton picked up Cena on the announce table. He stood him up before landing an RKO on the table, but the table didn't break.

[Q9 -- over-run]

Orton got in close to Cena, who was motionless on the floor. He stood within inches of his face and started counting to ten. Orton reached ten and got up, truly happy with himself. Cena remained slumped down on the floor as the fans booed Cena. Ross said Orton may have won the WWE Title six days before the PPV. He said it's beyond personal or a wrestling match; it's about family and survival. Orton stood in center ring and Cena tried to pick himself up with the aid of the ring steps. They closed the show with Orton standing tall, hovering over Cena.

The show appeared to be over, but they cut backstage where Steve-O came back for more and Simmons tossed him through the exit door again.

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