By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S SMACKDOWN REPORT
SEPTEMBER 28, 2007
BROADCAST ON THE CW

-They opened with a video package on last week's wedding. The music was upbeat until Teddy Long's heart attack, at which point the music screeched and changed drastically.

-Backstage, Vince McMahon consoled Vickie Guerrero. Vickie said Krystal has been by Teddy's side in the hospital all week and he's not getting better. Vince said they're all concerned, and they hadn't realized he had a history of heart problems - but the show must go on. He promoted Vickie to G.M. (not even with an "interim" tag, out of respect for poor Teddy). Finlay walked up to McMahon. They shared some friendly words about their common Irish heritage. Vince said Hornswoggle has been causing his problems lately. They walked away to concoct a plan.

-The Smackdown opening aired. Then Michael Cole and JBL introduced the show and hyped the Undertaker vs. Mark Henry main event.

1 -- TORRIE WILSON vs. VICTORIA

Cole and JBL talked about Long being replaced by Vickie. Cole said Long has been in a coma since last week. He said he didn't know Cole had a history of heart disease. JBL said he didn't know he had a heart. Victoria sat down on a Torrie sunset flip attempt, grabbed the ropes for leverage, and scored a three count. After the match, a mystery blond attacked Torrie. Cole asked, "Who is that?" She gave Torrie a backbreaker.

WINNER: Victoria in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* - Not much to it, and par for those two.

[Commercial Break]

-MVP came out for the VIP Lounge segment. He took some shots at the comatose Teddy Long, then said he was celebrating his one year anniversary as a member of Smackdown. He turned to insulting Matt Hardy, saying Hardy rode his coattails. Hardy came out and broke up MVP's party. Hardy, with a straight face, introduced a video package celebrating MVP's first year on Smackdown. It was a video of MVP low-lights, such as getting KO'd by Evander Holyfield, being burned by Kane, and getting a Stone Cold Stunner from Steve Austin. MVP wasn't amused. Hardy then gave MVP a champaign toast, calling his tag partner overrated and egotistical. MVP ordered security to eject Hardy from his party. Hardy said he wants his partner to be able to prove what he says, so he signed MVP to a match against his old friend, Kane.

-They hyped the Undertaker vs. Mark Henry match again.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- CHUCK PALUMBO vs. KENNY DYKSTRA

Palumbo controlled early. Dykstra got in a dropkick to tease a comeback. Palumbo came right back with a big boot and Full Throttle for a clean win.

WINNER: Palumbo in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

-They showed Steve Austin signing copies of his DVD at FYE in New York City.

[Commercial Break]

-Jesse, with Festus, talked about debuting on Smackdown next week. Finally. The anticipation has been killing me.

-Cole and JBL hyped the Punjabi Prison match at No Mercy. Then clips aired of the Batista vs. Mark Henry match from last week's Smackdown with Khali interfering. Cole interviewed Batista, who was backstage. Batista said he was at a disadvantage, since this is Khali's specialty match. JBL tried to get Batista to admit he was scared. Batista refused and said Khali would have to pry the title belt out of his hands.

-They showed Kane heading to the entrance tunnel for his match.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- MVP vs. KANE

Some decent back and forth action in the early minutes. MVP was working hard to make this watchable. MVP avoided a chokeslam and then both collided in mid-ring. MVP rolled out of the ring as they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

MVP was on offense after the break. When MVP played to the crowd after a running kick in the corner, Kane recovered and made a comeback. When Kane went to the top rope, MVP climbed up to meet him. Kane knocked him down and then went for a chokeslam. MVP kicked Kane in the crotch to prompt a DQ.

WINNER: Kane via DQ in 16:00.

[Commercial Break]

-JBL interviewed Rey Mysterio from mid-ring. JBL promised to deliver hardball questions that he didn't get to last week. Rey asked him why he has so animosity toward him. JBL said he didn't like talking from an announce desk about people with only half his talent. Rey challenged JBL to put his fists where his mouth is, but JBL told Rey he needs to worry about facing Khali next week. JBL shoved Rey down. Rey got right up and shoved JBL down, then hit the 619. Finlay ran in and jumped Rey.

[Commercial Break]

-Vickie Guerrero told Hornswoggle backstage that his being Cruiserweight Champion is a joke. She said now that he's a McMahon, he'll have a target on his back. She asked him to relinquish the title. Hornswoggle looked sad as she took thebelt from him. She said some day he'll realize it was best for him.

4 -- SHANNON MOORE vs. JAMIE NOBLE

Nice fast-paced action. Moore mounted a string of offense a couple minutes in including a crossbody block and a legdrop. Noble came right back and hit a gutbuster for the win.

WINNER: Noble in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* - The best of this show's short matches.

[Commercial Break]

-The Great Khali and his handler spoke about what he would do to Batista inside the cage at the PPV and what they'd do to Rey before that on next week's show.

-JBL and Cole plugged the entire No Mercy announced line-up.

-Mark Henry headed to the entrance tunnel.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- UNDERTAKER vs. MARK HENRY

After Taker's full long ring entrance, Taker and Henry fought at ringside to start the match. Taker concentrated on Henry's shoulder and arm. Henry came back and hit his knee-crushing splash. Taker later hit a flying clothesline, then followed up with more in the corner. When he went for a chokeslam, Henry blocked it, but the second attempt worked and Taker scored a pin.

WINNER: Undertaker in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- They kept it short at least. After the debacle at the PPV, this seems to be a writing off of Henry as a top act. Then against losing clean to Taker doesn't mean you're exactly being buried since he is Taker, after all.

NOTES: A flat follow-up to the wedding episode. It's as if they didn't really know where they were going with the Krystal-Long relationship all along. After hints that Krystal was seeing someone on the side and was using Long for some reason, now she's bedside all week and there's no hint of her having ulterior motives. And we get a heelish Vickie out of nowhere as the main follow-up. Not a lot to get excited about on this show. This show more than ever is catering to 10 year old boy humor, which is not a "growth strategy" as 10 year old boys will watch a show with adult sensibilities (that doesn't mean sexual content or swearing, but just a more sophisticated set of storylines) and so will adults. But this isn't a show that's particularly compelling to anyone over age 16 at this point.

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