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TNA Impact on Spike TV
October 11, 2007
Taped September 25 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

They opened with a recap of last week's show when Kurt Angle watched Sting's son's football game and promised to slap him on the rear end ass in private. They cut backstage where Angle was walking around with Sting's son's football jersey on.

1 -- X Division champion JAY LETHAL vs. HAVOK -- non-title match

Lethal hit a splash on the floor in the early going, then he took off his jacket revealing the taped ribs from an attack by Team 3D last week. Christopher Daniels was ringside to watch his opponent at the PPV. Havok worked on the ribs, then connected with a moonsault for a nearfall. Lethal came back with the Lethal Combination before dropping the top rope elbow for the win. Afterward, Daniels grabbed the X Title and tossed it to Lethal. He kept pointing to the ceiling.

WINNER: Lethal in 4:00. Just throwing a bone to fans of wrestling without delivering much of substance. (*)

They cut backstage where Karen Angle showed up and Jeremy Borash found her sneaking into the building. Karen said she's not in the mood. Borash didn't press his luck, so he asked about any marriage problems. Karen said sometimes married couples have issues, then she blew him off.

[Commercial Break]

Kurt Angle's music hit and Mike Tenay said Mr. Angle must deliver an apology. He said we were all forced to watch his satellite feed from California. Angle took the mic in the ring and put over Sting's son as a football player. He said he put up a good fight last week, too. Angle said he wants the old Sting to show up, then he asked for him to show up and give him a beat down. Karen Angle came out instead and she didn't look very happy. The camera got a little too close to the action as Karen entered the ring, then Karen addressed Kurt and said this past week has been the worst of all time between them. She asked Kurt how he could go after Sting's kid when they have kids of their own. Kurt said he determines where the line is and where he crosses it. Karen started to go back on their lie about Sting slapping him, then Sting showed up on the screen to interrupt.

[Q2]

Sting screamed that he's going to take everything from Kurt at the PPV because of what Kurt did to his family. Suddenly, the lights went down and out, then a dummy Sting dropped from the ceiling. Kurt slapped on an anklelock, then the real Sting showed up on the video screen and said it would be on his time, not Kurt's. Tenay and West, without any notes or papers on their desk, said the mind games continue.

They cut backstage where Borash found Kevin Nash at the base of some stairs leading to the rafters. Nash said he needed to talk to Sting. He called out to Sting, who appeared from the top of the rafters and told him to come up. They met halfway up the stairs and Nash said it feels like old times with the NWO days. Nash asked Sting if he really wants to go down this road with Kurt. He said he knows Sting isn't a con man, and he doesn't want to become champion like a thug. Sting laughed and asked Nash what he would do in the same position if Kurt went after his son. Nash said he would kill him. Sting said that's his point, and that's how he wants to go out. He turned to walk away, then stopped and told Nash not to lose his edge. Nash held his hands in his pockets and thought about it. Actually one of the better scripted promos in some time on TNA. Very real, poignant, and gave Nash that beginning point for a possible new run as a wrestler.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Crystal interviewed Ron Killings and Pacman Jones about their upcoming matches. Killings said they don't worry about competition; competition worries about them. He proceeded to sing, creating an awkward moment with Crystal. Pacman laughed at the thought of facing a team called Triple X. He said they're a bunch of wannabee porn stars and they would have no problem lying down for them. That's just wrong. Pacman said he's coming home on Sunday to big momma.

2 -- TNA tag champions TEAM PACMAN (PACMAN JONES & RON KILLINGS) vs. TRIPLE X (SENSHI & ELIX SKIPPER)

An amazing coincidence that Pacman started the match on the apron while Killings worked over Senshi with his speed and quickness. Pacman took a tag before stepping into the ring to play football with Killings. He then threw a football into Senshi's crotch, leading to multiple football-related puns from Tenay and West. The match became a game of Pacman not making contact with anyone, leading to a XXX sneak attack on Killings.

[Q3]

After a few moments, Killings came back with a double dropkick for a nearfall. Senshi then broke up a pin attempt and chucked Killings to the floor. XXX stalked Pacman, who stepped into the ring. Nothing happened, as Killings chucked Senshi to the floor. Pacman then tossed a stack of dollar bills to Skipper. Skipper didn't how to react seeing that much money from TNA. Killings then took advantage of Skipper bending over to pick up the money, and he nailed the axe kick for the win.

WINNERS: Team Pacman in 5:00. I can't even explain this. Suddenly, Team Pacman is a babyface team and TNA is glorifying strip club activity. I wonder how the family men in this company feel about that. How about an interview with Tommy Urbanski right about now? I'd like to get his thoughts on this segment. (DUD)

Team Pacman was still in the ring, then the Steiners came out. Everyone shook hands, then Rick cut a promo on Team 3D. Scott followed with a promo telling Ray and Devon to get out now so they don't have to wait for the PPV. Team 3D didn't show, so Scott said they're going to have a big tailgating party at the PPV and roast some of the biggest pigs in wrestling. West proclaimed: "This Sunday is going to be awesome."

They cut backstage where Team 3D had a quick reaction with Borash. Ray repeated "pigs" before saying Scott's mother is a pig. Hooray for originality. Ray said the only thing the Steiners are going to be eating is their fists when they give them wood. Ray, four weeks late, made a Britney Spears reference about how fat she is. He said they don't drink too much, just the occasional shot of Jack Daniels, but they will crack open a few cold beverages and pull down their zippers at the PPV. Let's hope it's not in private with Kurt Angle. Oh, and they're going to piss on the Steiners. Right on cue, the Steiners tried to storm the interview set, but a few security guards held them back. Tenay concluded: "The TNA knockouts are next."

[Commercial Break]

[Q4]

They went backstage where Kevin Nash asked Kurt if he's crazy with his plan to piss of Sting. Kurt made up excuses, then Nash asked Karen to talk some sense into Kurt. Karen said she's tried, but it's not working. Kurt said he only listens to himself because he's Kurt Angle, dammit. Nash said it's dysfunction junction, so Kurt is on his own and he's not getting involved with Kurt's problems. Nash said he's done with him. Kurt said he's going to find Sting with Borash.

Christy Hemme, Ms. Jackie Moore, ODB, Talia Madison, Angel Williams, Roxxi LaVeaux, Gail Kim (with video package intro), and Amazing Kong came out to showcase the participants in the gauntlet match at the PPV.

3 -- GAIL KIM vs. AMAZING KONG

Gail was frightened by the size of Kong, who quickly tossed Gail down to the mat with a two-hand slam. Gail then ducked a series of clotheslines before trying to land forearm blows that had no affect on Kong. She choked Gail against the ropes while the other knockouts ringside watched with terror. Gail went for an octopus stretch out of a head scissors, but Kong dropped her with a sidewalk slam for a nearfall. She then went up top for a flying splash, but Gail moved just in time. Gail went for a cross neckbreaker, but Kong landed a huge clothesline and a powerbomb for the win. The divas ringside shrieked with terror afterward.

WINNER: Kong in 4:00. Nice debut for Kong. She's a terrific wrestler, so it would be nice to see them get her involved in some lengthier matches where she can showcase her skills. (3/4*)

West said he had an enlightening interview with The Guru earlier in the week. They cut to footage from earlier when West and Guru had a session. West was wearing a traditional Indian outfit and he cleared his throat to get Guru's attention while he was in meditation. You can't make this up with West's comedy. West asked Guru about his change in personality. Guru explained he wants to save the world, but he needs your money for the Guru Humanitarian Fund. Sounds like a piece out of Airplane, yet slightly less genius. West pulled out a wad of cash that he was probably saving to make it rain. Guru thanked him for his donation, then they proceeded to have a meditation session. At this point, I'm not sure if I'm watching a serious wrestling show trying to promote a PPV on Sunday or a parody of a really bad wrestling show. At this point, TNA might as well ditch trying to present a serious wrestling show and just turn the show into a parody of themselves because that might get them up to a 1.2 rating by the end of the year.

[Commercial Break]

[Q5]

They went to footage from Japan with Tomko and Giant Bernard defending the IWGP tag titles. Back in the ring, Christian Cage debuted his new talk show, Chatting with the Champ. They cut to crowd footage ringside and spent one second too long on a kid with his arms folded across his chest with a deep scowl on his face, as if someone was forcing him to stand on the front row and watch the show. Christian and Styles entered the set, then Christian explained the island theme. He said the first episode has a special theme for a special guest: Samoa Joe. Joe walked out and Christian welcomed him to the islands. Joe wasn't amused. Christian said he wanted to put their differences aside for a second and ask some tough questions. He said they're going one-on-one at the PPV and there must be a winner. Joe snapped on Christian that the show's been on for two minutes and he's already boring him. He asked where's the old Christian with the smart wit. Joe said the coconut is Jimmy Snuka clichéd. He ripped on the set, then said Christian is just a bleep. Christian reconfirmed that it's show and he doesn't appreciate Joe disrespecting him. Joe told him to do something about it.

Christian and Joe went back and forth before Joe got serious and said Christian's winning streak is over at the PPV, and he will put him in the hospital. Some fans booed. Christian tried to calm the situation down, then said he respects Joe. Christian asked Styles to pour a few drinks, then he offered one to Joe as a peace offering. Christian proposed a toast to their PPV match with there being a winner and them stealing the show. Christian pounded his drink, but Joe wasn't thirsty, so he dumped the drink on Christian. Joe then cleared the set and Styles tried to hit him from behind, but it had no affect on Joe. Matt Morgan then came to ringside and pulled Styles out of the ring. He beat him up, then dragged him away. Remember when Styles was the most important wrestler in the company? Back in the ring, Joe continued to beat up Christian while clearing the island set. Christian caught him with margarita salt in the eyes, then Christian smashed Joe with the rubber coconut to the head. He continued to beat him with the coconut before his music came on to end the segment.

They cut backstage where Crystal interviewed Homicide and Hernandez while a bunch of random men wearing bandanas made chatter in the background. Hernandez said they're the toughest tag team in wrestling and they're taking out XXX at the PPV.

[Commercial Break]

Petey Williams walked out to the ring. He's having a match against former Team Canada stablemate Robert Roode. We're not sure what's on the line here. Tenay explained the deal with Roode inheriting a bunch of money from his grandfather. West explained the deal with Brooks having to put up with Roode to pay for her sick mother. Brooks was despondent about being with Roode.

[Q6]

4 -- PETEY WILLIAMS vs. ROBERT ROODE (w/Ms. Brooks)

Roode quickly went on the offensive while the director made sure there were ample Brooks cleavage shots on the broadcast. Petey came back with a slingshot huracanrana on the floor before the fight moved back into the ring. He landed a DDT then went for the Destroyer, but Roode quickly countered with the fisherman suplex for the win.

After the match, Brooks wouldn't dish out some punishment to Petey, so Roode screamed at her. Kaz then made the save and cleared Roode from the ring. Kelly remained in the ring with Balls while Miz continued to scream at her from ringside. Brooks then smiled and grabbed Kaz's hand before Roode yanked her out of the ring. Kaz shook his head while Brooks scampered up the entrance ramp.

WINNER: Roode in 3:00. Quick, forgettable match. Boy, I could have sworn TNA management said the move to two hours will allow TNA to deliver longer matches. (1/2*)

They went backstage where Angle and Borash were whispering about Sting's whereabouts. Angle went into the men's restroom to find Sting, but he didn't find anyone in the shower. He kicked open a stall while another door made a squeaking noise. He went to the final stall and kicked open the door to find Junior Fatu sitting on the john reading the paper. "Can I help you?" Rikishi asked. Angle and Borash shook their heads no and covered their noises at the sudden smell. I give up.

They quickly went back to the ring for another match. It's the Monster's Ball participants teaming up.

5 -- RAVEN & BLACK REIGN (w/Misty the Rat) vs. RHINO & ABYSS

Reign used a Kendo stick to Rhino's back in the opening minute. The fight spilled to the floor and into the stands as they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

James Mitchell landed a trashcan lid shot to the head of Abyss out of the break, but Abyss no-sold. He then tried to chokeslam Mitchell into some thumbtacks, but Raven took his knee out. Raven then DDT'ed Abyss face-first into the tacks. Suddenly, Reign randomly broke up Raven's pin attempt on Abyss. I don't understand. Raven then tried to give Reign a DDT, but Rhino knocked both of them silly. Rhino suddenly Gored Raven through a table in the corner.

[Q6]

The match continued with Rhino giving Reign a spinebuster into a garbage can for a nearfall. Abyss suddenly nailed the Black Hole Slam on Rhino despite being temporarily blinded by having sharp objects in his eyes. Reign then draped his arm across Rhino for the win.

WINNERS: Reign in 8:00. That just killed Mitchell's heat as a manager with two of his people turning against each other for no apparent reason. Just a random brawl. (1/2*)

Backstage, Fatu was off the john and ready for an interview with Crystal. Fatu said it's been nothing but fresh air since he joined TNA. He recapped all the angles in TNA and said there wasn't this much drama in WWE. Fatu asked if she smells something nasty in the air. She suddenly smelled something nasty, then Fatu said the next time they have an interview, they'd be talking about his upcoming title shot.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Crystal interviewed Matt Morgan about being enforcer at the PPV. Morgan said earlier was all business. He said he can't wait for Bound for Glory to see whether Joe or Christian tests his authority. Morgan said he's been appointed special guest enforcer for tonight's main event. He made one promise that if anyone wants to try him, they're not going to get by him. This was in the third person for what it's worth.

LAX came out, then Junior Fatu as the babyface team for the six-man tag main event. Matt Morgan then came out to stand ringside as the enforcer. Team 3D led the heels out, followed by Kurt Angle.

6 -- LAX (HOMICIDE & HERNANDEZ) & JUNIOR FATU vs. TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON) & TNA champion KURT ANGLE

Each side exchanged control in the opening three minutes before they cut to a break with the heels working on Hernandez.

[Q8]

[Commercial Break]

The heels went for comedy out of the break, with Angle putting on one of the LAX bandanas while they worked over Homicide. The announcers listed the PPV card while Homicide made his comeback and made a tag to Fatu, who cleaned house. Fatu covered Angle, who couldn't even lift his shoulders to kick out of a pin attempt. He then stacked up all three heels in the corner and landed a big splash. Homicide cleaned house, then tagged out to Homicide, who landed a top rope huracanrana on Ray. He landed a move on Devon where Tenay wasn't sure who actually had the offensive advantage, then the action broke down in the ring. Homicide went for the Cop Killer on Angle, but Angle quickly countered into an ankle lock, only to take a kick to the face from Fatu. Fatu then measured Angle for a stinkface and he delivered it. Suddenly, Team 3D snuck up behind Fatu and gave him a 3D. Hernandez then flew over the top rope onto Devon on the floor. Back in the ring, Homicide had a pin on Angle, but Ray had the ref distracted. Angle then came back with an Olympic Slam on Homicide for the win.

WINNERS: 3D & Angle in 13:00. There was a match. The action broke down. There was a finish, with Angle picking up the win. (*1/4)

After the match, Angle celebrated with the TNA title belt, then he took a mic to address Sting. The LAX guys weren't too concerned about Angle, so they checked on Homicide while Angle and Sting had a promo exchange. Sting said maybe they would have their moment at the PPV, or maybe not. Suddenly, one of the LAX guys walked up to Angle. He dropped the bandana covering his face, revealing Sting in a gangster outfit. You can't make this up. Sting then slapped on the Scorpion Deathlock and Angle tapped out as they ended the show.

They went to sit-down interviews with some wrestlers and announcers talking in generalities about the PPV. Too late to make the hard sell by getting serious about what the PPV means after nearly two hours of attempted comedy, short matches, and one guy taking a crap. The show ended two hours before the top of the hour, like last week.

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.

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