By Wade Keller, Torch editor

TNA IMPACT
OCTOBER 11, 2007
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

Check out James Caldwell's report also on the Main Listing right now...

WHAT HAPPENED: HOUR ONE

-We got the recap of TNA's latest Groundhog Day storyline - a slight tweak on something they already did when the TV show was in a different timeslot or on a different network - this time Sting's family being messed with at long distance by a heel, Kurt Angle. Then they showed Angle walking backstage wearing the football jersey of Sting's son.

-The show opening aired, then pyro blasted in the Impact Zone as Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show. They hyped the Sting vs. Angle match at Bound for Glory and the six-man tag main event - Angle & Team 3D vs. LAX & Junior Fatu.

1 -- BLACK MACHISMO vs. HAVOK

Don West [artist Neal Obermeyer (c) PWTorch]

Machismo came out to his full "Macho Man" Randy Savage style ring intro. I smell incense. Christopher Daniels walked to ringside and kept an eye on Machismo. Tenay and West just yelled at me and yelled at me and yelled at me nonstop, never pausing - just taking turns throwing info at me every single second, with a call of moves one second, a plug for a PPV the next, a note about Daniels at ringside another, then a reminder about Sting's son being stalked by Angle, then back to the match. It seems like they think they're on radio and two seconds of no yelling will cause everyone to think they went off the air. I don't think if a tree was about to fall on someone's head Don West could yell louder or with a greater sense of urgency than he does when screaming that "when Machismo gets momentum, there's no stopping him." Really, did that have to be screamed at the top of your lungs? Machismo favored his ribs during the match, which were taped. In the end, he won with the Lethal Combination and top rope elbow. Daniels picked up the X Division Title belt at ringside and threw it hard at Machismo in the ring, then signalled he planned to win it at Bound for Glory.

WINNER: Machismo in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

-Jeremy Borash walked up to a stressed Karen Angle. She said she was in no mood for questions, noting that sometimes married couples have issues.

[Commercial Break]

-Angle said he did what he did last week stalking his son at his football game for two reasons. One, he wanted to get even for him slapping his wife. Two, he wants to bring out the old Sting, the best Sting there is. He asked him to come out and give him his best shot. Instead, Karen Angle walked out, the other half of the most volatile marriage on all of television. Karen entered the ring and said this past week was the worst it has ever been between them. "How could you go after his family?" she said, fighting tears as she pierced him with a stare. She said he crossed a line. Angle said he decides what crossing the line is. He said she understood what she was doing when she walked out of the kitchen. He said if she's unhappy, she can return home and burp the baby. Angle demanded to know if she was with him or without him. Before she could answer, Sting appeared on the big screen. He said they are both two of the lowest forms of scum he's ever known. "You wanted the old Sting? Well, you've got him," he said. He then vowed to take everything from Kurt. He said, "Let the games begin now." The lights went out and flashed, then a Sting dummy was lowered from the rafters. Angle applied an anklelock on the dummy. The announcers were fooled for several seconds, but viewers certainly weren't. Sting appeared on the screen again and said he'd play the games on his time, not Kurt's.

-Tenay and West were shown on camera plugging several upcoming segments including Raven & Black Reign vs. Abyss & Rhino and a Christian Cage promo. Then they shifted to a plug for the Bound for Glory line-up.

-Borash and Kevin Nash chatted backstage. Nash said he was going to go up the rafters and chat with Sting. Nash called up the steps for Sting. Sting appeared at the top of the steps. Sting invited him up. Nash said he figured he'd be up there. Nash said it feels like old time. Nash asked Sting if he thinks it makes sense to take that path again. Nash said he's known him for 20 years and he doesn't know if this is how he wants to go out. He said he shouldn't want to be champion by acting like a thug. Sting asked Kevin what he'd do if Angle went after his son. Nash said, "Honestly, I'd kill him." Sting said they understand each well and that's how he wanted to go out. He then walked back up to the top, then turned and told Nash, "Don't lose your edge, man."

[Commercial Break]

-A blond lady interviewed Team Pacman. Ron Killings said they don't worry about their competition, competition worries about them. Pacman stood by and watched Killings cut a charismatic wrestling promo, nodding occasionally to show he was listening. Then Pacman said Triple X want to be porn stars. He said they won't have a problem "laying down for the tag team champions." Killings sang "Georgia" in the background.

2 -- PACMAN JONES & RON KILLINGS vs. "PRIME TIME" ELIX SKIPPER & SENSHI

Senshi jump-started the match. Pacman watched blankly on the ring apron as Killings did his flashy sequence of moves. A minute in, Killings tagged in Pacman. They continue to ignore that he has yet to actually wrestle in any of his tag team title defenses. Killings handed him a football as Senshi sat in the corner selling a leg lariat forever. Pacman threw the football at him, hitting him in the crotch. Tenay said, "That gives new meaning to the term ball spike." Regarding Impact being two hours each week, Tenay said, "Get used to it." He almost said it like he was responding to complaints. Killings took on both Senshi and Skipper as Pacman stood on the ring apron looking like a true team player. Senshi and Skipper eventually knocked Killings out of the ring, then taunted Pacman. Before Pacman could do nothing any longer, Killings jumped back in. Pacman tossed money at Skipper which served as a distraction for Killings to hit his scissors kick from behind for the win. Skipper, though, first grabbed a few bills and threw them at Pacman. There might not be a way to throw paper money and look cool, but Skipper took it to a new low. Think Jack from "Will & Grace."

WINNERS: Killings & Pacman in 6:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- This Pacman run with the tag belts is ridiculous. I'm sure the gunshot victim of the nightclub scene finds the money throwing thing really classy. Maybe breast cancer can be the next thing that was part of a real-life tragedy and heart ache that TNA utilizes to get a heel over. TNA, classy as always.

-Tenay and West noted that Pacman and Killings refused to leave the ring. Then Rick & Scott Steiner walked out. They all shared man-hugs. Scott called out Team 3D, saying they tried to take them out, but all they did was piss them off. Rick called Team 3D "backyard wrestlers and champions of nothing." Scott promised to make them bleed at Bound for Glory. Scott said afterward, they'd have a tailgate party with his Freaks of Hot-lanta and roast the two fattest pigs in pro wrestling, Team 3D. He closed, "This goes out to all my freaks; Big Poppa Pump is your hook-up, holla if you hear me."

-Borash interviewed Team 3D backstage. Brother Ray exclaimed, "Pigs? Pigs? Your motha is a pic." He said the only thing they'd be eating at BFG is their fists, then added a peculiar line: "Then we're going to take some Team 3D wood and shove them down your throats." Okay, that was "gayer" than Skipper's money-tossing. He said they're "washed up and useless, just like that dumb bitch Britney Spears. I mean, have you seen her? Ugh. Dear god. That amount of fat and alcohol all rolled up in one body could kill somebody." Ray said he and Devon aren't drinkers. They occasionally have five or six shots of Jack Daniels, but mostly lead a clean, healthy lifestyle. He said when they put the Steiners through tables and then "pull down our zippers and piss on you." This show is just trashy. Not edgy. Just trashy. Not good-natured trashy like Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil, but angry heavy-handed trashy sleazy at this point.

[Commercial Break]

-Nash tried to counsel Kurt backstage. Nash said he'd want to kill Kurt if he did that to his kid. Angle said Sting's kid hit him first. Nash told Karen to talk some sense into him. She said she's tried. Angle got in her face and yelled at her. Nash said, "If you're going to be like this, Sunday night you're completely on your own. I'm not going to be thrown under the Sting train again." Angle called him a wuss. Nash said he's too old for this crap. As Angle dragged Borash somewhere, Nash asked Karen if Kurt's like that at home.

-Christy Hemme, Miss Jackie Moore, ODB, Talia Madison, Angel Williams, and Roxxi Laveau paraded to the ring to watch the next match. All are scheduled for the TNA Knockout Gauntlet Battle Royal at the PPV.

3 -- GAIL KIM vs. AMAZING KONG

Kong is a huge black woman. All of the women at ringside gasped at her size and power as she dominated Kim. Tenay said it might be time to revisit their predictions for the TNA Knockout Battle Royal. Kong missed a top rope splash, but came back with a sitout powerbomb for the clean, decisive win.

WINNER: Kong in 3:00.

STAR RATING: * -- Served it's purpose well of establishing Kong as something other than a fragile pretty diva type.

-Don West decided to dress funny and interrupt Sonjay Dutt's meditation. Dutt told him he loves him being there today. West asked about his change in attitude. Dutt said act the way you want the world to change. "An eye for an eye can make the world blind," he said. I knew I smelled incense. Dutt asked for a contribution to the Sonjay Dutt Humanitarian Fund to help fight starvation and disease worldwide. Dutt asked West to join him in meditation. They hummed together.

[Commercial Break]

-A clip aired from New Japan of Giant Bernard (Prince Albert) & Tomko defending their IWGP Tag Team Titles.

WHAT HAPPENED: HOUR TWO

-New interview segment called "Chattin with the Champ" hosted by Christian with "Ace" A.J. Styles. They stole Carlito's Cabana as the set. He introduced Samoa Joe as his first guest. Christian said at Bound for Glory they'd have their third singles match and Joe has yet to beat him. He asked him if he has plans to change his strategy. Joe said his show's been on the air for two minutes and he's already boring him out of his mind. He said he's not even trying anymore. Joe called Styles "Woody from Cheers behind the bar" and said coconuts are cliche. Joe said some may find him witty, "but at the end of the day, you're just an asshole." West said, "Talk about having somebody pegged." Christian said he didn't appreciate being cut off and disrespected. Joe told him to do something about it. Joe told him to step back behind the bar before he puts him behind the bar. Christian told him to do it. He said this isn't an episode of Jerry Springer, chairs will not fly, furniture will not be ruined. He said to create that set for Joe to make him feel at home, he had to rummage through a ton of yard sales. Joe told Christian that at Bound for Glory, his unbeaten streak ends and he will put him in the hospital. Christian said he invited him out there "to put our differences aside." He said he's going to look him in the eye at Bound for Glory after their match, no matter what the outcome, and say, "I respect you." Christian asked Styles to pour them a couple of drinks. Styles did. Christian proposed a toast to Joe vs. Christian at Bound for Glory "stealing the damn show." joe threw the drink in Christian's face, then attacked him and Styles, destroying the set in the process. Matt Morgan yanked Styles out of the ring, head-butted him, and carried him to the back as Joe continued to beat up Christian at ringside and then in the ring. Christian threw margarita salt at Joe and then broke a coconut over his head. I'm sure Joe just loves coconut-based angles.

-The blond lady interviewed LAX backstage. Homicide is getting to show off some of his mic skills now. He's really good. Totally believable.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- ROBERT ROODE (w/Ms. Brooks) vs. PETEY WILLIAMS

Petey hit a nice flying head scissors over the top rope at ringside. Back in the ring, he played to the crowd, then set up the Canadian Destroyer. Roode blocked it and countered with The Payoff for the win. After the match, Roode held Petey and demanded that Brooks slap him. She refused. It's tough to take her family hardship storyline seriously when she's sporting $20,000 boobs. Kaz ran out and made the save. Roode bailed out and demanded Brooks follow him. Kaz was about to kiss her and when Roode yanked her out of the ring by her legs and dragged her to the back Randy-Liz style.

WINNER: Roode in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Short, but good energy and athleticism.

-Backstage Borash followed Angle around as he searched for Sting. Borash whispered that Sting was really pissed off. Angle whispered, then shouted, "What the hell am I whispering about." Angle pointed at the Men's Room door and said, "If you want to find a piece of crap like Sting, this is the first place you look." Angle looked in the showers for him, then in the stalls. He barged in on Junior Fatu reading a newspaper on the toilet. Angle said, "I'm gonna throw up."

5 -- RAVEN & BLACK REIGN vs. RHINO & ABYSS

No hype for this match at all other than a fleeting mention earlier by Tenay and West. It's just one of those arbitrary matches following up last week's arbitrary match. Four-way action early. They brawled to the floor and cut to a break at 1:00.

[Commercial Break]

Back from the break, Abyss grabbed his black bag. James Mitchell hit Abyss over the head with a trash can lid. Raven kicked Abyss between the legs from behind, stopping Abyss's chokeslam of Mitchell. Raven then DDT'd Abyss face-first onto the thumb tacks in the move that should really, really mean something and be talked about for months and be the centerpiece of a major angle, but instead was a transitional move with no follow up. Just amazing. Rhino sent Raven through a table in the corner with a Gore, then gave Reign a spinebuster on a garbage can. Abyss, "blinded by the thumb tacks in his eyes," picked up Rhino, gave him a Black Hole slam, and left him prey for a pin by Black Reign. Tenay said, "Believe it or not, this was just a preview. Imagine what it will be like at Bound for Glory." Uh, probably exactly like that, but a little longer.

WINNERS: Reign & Raven in 8:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- So much wrong with this on so many levels, just hard to put words to it.

-The blond lady interviewed Junior Fatu backstage. He said it's been nothing but a breath of fresh air since he hit TNA (that was a joke about him pooping earlier, I think). He talked about crazy stuff going on in TNA. "There wasn't this much drama in the WWE," he said. He then talked about the six-man tag next with his new friends, LAX. She asked if he was ready for the Fight for Right at Bound for Glory. He said the next time she interviews him, she'll be talking to him about his title shot.

[Commercial Break]

-The blond lady interviewed Matt Morgan backstage. She asked him if he's ready for Bound for Glory. He said what he's done tonight wasn't personal, it was just business. He said he can't wait for Bound for Glory where he'll referee Joe vs. Christian. He said he's a fair man until someone tries to screw him over. He said he's also special enforcer for the TV main event to be sure when Sting hits the ring looking for Angle, he'll make sure Angle doesn't get out of the ring. He promised that if any of them want to try him, they're not going to get by him.

6 -- LAX & JUNIOR FATU vs. TEAM 3D & KURT ANGLE

That Junior Fatu on-screen graphic during his ring intros has got to go. We got the obligatory close-up of his fatty thighs as he stepped into the ring. Homicide opened against Devon. Later, the camera zoomed in on Fatu bent over from behind. Tenay said that would be tough to get out of his mind.

[Commercial Break]

The match continued and Tenay and West continued to alternate between calling the match and pushing each of the PPV matches at the top of their lungs. It was information overload. Homicide hot-tagged Fatu at 11:00. Fatu scored a near fall on Angle after a powerslam. Even a little thing like that should be a bigger deal - Fatu almost scoring a three count on World Champion Angle. Instead, just a passing forgotten throwaway spot in a match. Chaos ensued with Homicide throwing a barrage of spots against all three heels. I still vote for a Homicide vs. Angle singles feud in TNA. The promos between those two could be a lot of fun, but also intense and believable. Angle reversed the Gringos Killer into an anklelock. Fatu kicked Angle to break up that hold. Fatu then set up the corner butt splash and stink face. West said, "Everyone's gonna love this." Really? How did WWE not trademark the term "Stink Face"? Hernandez did a big dove over the top rope onto D-Von. Homicide got a visual fall on Angle with a small package, but the ref was slow to turn to it to make a count. Angle kicked out and then hit an Angle Slam for the win. Again, Homicide scoring a visual fall on Angle could have been a big deal, too, not just glossed over as a way to give Homicide something to protect his image before taking the fall.

WINNERS: Angle & Team 3D in 14:00.

STAR RATING: *1/2

-Angle called out Sting afterward. Sting appeared on the big screen and told him to take it easy and settle down. He said he must've struck a chord with him. He said he's put a lot of thought into it and thinks it'd be better to wait until Bound for Glory. Sting then appeared behind Angle dressed up as an LAX background player. He put Angle in the Scorpion. Angle tapped as the show faded to a video hyping Bound for Glory.

-The Bound for Glory video featured various TNA players talking about this PPV being the biggest of the year for TNA. West compared it to the Super Bowl and World Series. The tone of this was spot on good, but totally incongruent with the frenzied, trashy, undisciplined, frenetic tone of most of the preceding two hours.

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