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KELLER'S SMACKDOWN REPORT
OCTOBER 12, 2007
TAPED 10/9 IN DETROIT, MICH.
BROADCAST ON THE CW

WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR

-The show opened with clips of Batista "surviving the Punjabi nightmare," as Michael Cole put it, as he climbed over the top of the cage at No Mercy to beat Batista. Then Cole and JBL introduced the show including hype for an odd main event match - Undertaker & Kane vs. MVP & Matt Hardy.

1 -- CHUCK PALUMBO (w/Michelle McCool) vs. CHRIS MASTERS

A clip aired of Masters attacking Palumbo last week after his match. JBL said Masters wants to show Palumbo is not going to ride onto Smackdown and make an impact. Palumbo attacked Masters hard and fast at the bell - full throttle, baby. At 3:00, Masters signalled for a Masterlock. Palumbo blocked it, knocked Masters into the corner, hit him with a clothesline, and after a few punches were exchanged, took him down with an elbow, a punch, a clothesline, another punch, a backdrop, and then a schoolboy for the win. After the match, Masters attacked Palumbo from behind as Palumbo got on his motor cycle. He applied the Masterlock. Palumbo struggled to break it as Michelle looked on concerned and the ref tried to talk some sense into Masters. Palumbo faded out and went limp. Masters let go and dropped Palumbo to the mat.

WINNER: Palumbo in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Really rudimentary, clunky action. Right out of an indy show at a bar with two muscular, not all that athletic guys pretending to be wrestlers. Okay booking for an opening match type of feud. Basic stuff.

-A video aired hyping the Taker & Kane vs. Hardy & Kane main event.

[Commercial Break]

-A video aired on Big Daddy V showing him crushing opponents under his weight. It seemed out of place. Cole plugged that the only place to see Big Daddy V is on ECW. He said it with some pride.

2 -- JESSE & FESTUS vs. CONRAD CARNES & JAY ADAMS

"Biscuits and Gravy" played as Jesse led Festus to the ring. Jesse said before the match that Festus is a little different because as soon as the bell rings, Festus turned into a tiger. But then when the bell rings again, he goes back to his normal, good-natured self. When the bell rang, Festus became Road Warrior Animal. If he was wearing a dog collar, it would have popped off. Cole said it's like Peter Parker to Spiderman, a nerd to a superhero. JBL said, "You're like a nerd to a nerd." Festus tagged in after a minute and just unloaded on Adams, who had a great jobber look with the mohawk and flab-filled singlet. They showed Deuce, Domino, and Cherry backstage. They discussed how you have to watch for Festus because as soon as the bell rings, he goes crazy. Festus launched Jesse off the top rope with a tackle for the win. The bell rang and Festus's tongue fell out of his mouth again.

WINNERS: Jesse & Festus in 3:00.

STAR RATING: *

-They went backstage to Deuce, Domino, and Cherry. They called Festus "the face of stupid." Jamie Noble walked up to them and told them that Jimmy Wang Yang said nasty things at the bar last night about Cherry. D&D bought it entirely and got outraged and burst out of the locker room to find him and make him pay.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- BRETT MAJOR (w/his brother) vs. DREW MCINTYRE (w/Dave Taylor)

An inset interview aired with Drew, with a Scottish accent, said he's applying for duel citizenship because WWE fans like to cheer for their own kind. JBL. Cole said they're building Smackdown around Brett Major, an quick, young, hungry future star. There was literally not one bump in that match until the final 20 seconds. It was like watching Pacman Jones wrestle Pacman Jones for the first two minutes or so. Quite the debut for McEntire. It ended with a distraction by Taylor leading to a schoolboy.

WINNER: McIntyre in 3:00.

STAR RATING: DUD

[Commercial Break]

-Todd Grisham interviewed Diva Search contestants about how many one night stands they've had. One asked him how many he's had. "Hopefully one more when we're done here." He was rejected. Several of the woman said they've had one, others denied having any.

-Backstage MVP talked on the cell phone about having to face Kane & Undertaker later. Matt Hardy walked up and they chatted about strategy. Hardy said they can't fight each other if they've got a chance against Kane & Taker. MVP agreed. MVP offered a handshake. Hardy hesitated, then accepted. MVP told Hardy to follow his lead.

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial aired hyping the No Mercy encore presentations on PPV.

MVP [artist Grant Gould (c) PWTorch]

4 -- MVP & MATT HARDY vs. UNDERTAKER & KANE

Kane opened up against Hardy. JBL and Cole talked about how much MVP and Hardy don't like each other. Taker tried to go to the top early, but Hardy blocked it. When MVP intervened, Taker and Kane set up a double chokeslam. Hardy yanked MVP out of the ring to save him. They cut to a break as MVP shoved Hardy for some reason.

[Commercial Break]

MVP and Hardy took control against Kane after the break. At 10:00 MVP tagged in against Taker and threw punches in the corner. The ref scolded him. That gave Taker a chance to recover and pummel MVP with a barrage of punches and a kick to the face. Taker walked the top rope and came off with a flying forearm for a two count, stopped when MVP put his foot on the bottom rope. Kane tagged in and hit a top rope clothesline for a near fall. The beating on MVP went on for several minutes.

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR

MVP came back at 13:00 with a flying knee and a hot-tag to Hardy. Hardy aggressively went after Kane with a flurry of offense including a legdrop off the second rope to the back of Kane's head, but on his next charge, Kane caught him with a big boot to the face. Hardy responded with a Twist of Fate. MVP tagged himself in and went for a cover. Kane kicked out, clotheslined MVP, and tagged in Taker. Taker snake-eyed MVP, nailed him with a boot, and legdropped his head from behind for a two count. Taker then hit a Tombstone for clean three count.

WINNERS: Taker & Kane in 15:00.

STAR RATING: ** - Solid tag match. Not sure what the point of it was. It came out of nowhere and ended in a way that didn't really help anyone or anything. Just a showcase match for Taker & Kane to establish they're a notch above the tag champs consisting of two mid-card acts with potential to go up if they don't lose these types of matches where there's no purpose or meaning to it other than a thrown-together marquee TV match to draw a rating.

-Cole and JBL plugged the Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay TV main event.

-The mystery vignette played with all of the secret code ending with Save_Us.

[Commercial Break]

-The Raw Rebound aired.

-Cole welcomed Anastasia Rose, the new interview woman. She interviewed Rey Mysterio, looking a few inches down at him. Rey said if Finlay wants to play dirty, he can too. He said he feels like a title shot at Batista is in his future. He looked at the camera and said, "Finlay, you like to fight? I'm going to give you a fight."

-JBL and Cole talked about the TV main event, which Cole said was booked by Vickie Guerrero, the new G.M. filling in for Teddy Long. Remember him? He's hardly talked about. They went to a replay of his heart attack from three weeks ago. Cole said Long has been moved out of intense care, but is still in the hospital. He is improving every day with Krystal by his side.

-Backstage Vickie and Noble were watching a monitor backstage. Noble said, "Poor guy." Vickie said she talked to Krystal who said Teddy should be home by next week. Noble said he got Deuce & Domino fired up to take out Jimmy Wang Yang. Vickie said she'd put him in the ring tonight. He said it'd be some unknown wannabe. Vickie said, "Actually, he's pretty well known around here. The Great Khali." Noble freaked out.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- THE GREAT KHALI vs. JAMIE NOBLE

Khali shoved Noble to the mat at the start, then squeezed his head seconds later to win.

WINNER: Khali in 1:00.

STAR RATING: n/a

[Commercial Break]

-A Cyber Sunday video aired.

6 -- JIMMY WANG YANG vs. DEUCE (w/Domino, Cherry)

Wang won with a moonsault press quickly, but took a beating from both heels afterward.

WINNER: Yang in 1:00.

STAR RATING: 1/4*

-A video package aired on the Punjabi Prison Match at No Mercy, then Batista came out and soaked up the fans' cheers in the ring before joining Cole and JBL at ringside.

[Commercial Break]

-JBL told Batista his win at No Mercy was a career-defining moment. JBL announced fans could choose via online voting who would be the special referee for Batista vs. the winner of this match at Cyber Sunday. The choices are JBL, Steve Austin, or Mick Foley.

7 -- FINLAY vs. REY MYSTERIO - No. 1 Contender's Match

Rey went on early offense, but missed a second rope moonsault when Finlay moved. Rey then dove onto Finlay at ringside just as Finlay reached for his shillelagh.

[Commercial Break]

Cole plugged Batista's autobiography coming out next week. Cole teased the problem Batista had early with some Smackdown wrestlers. Batista was the least talkative guest commentator imaginable, short of a mute. Cole said, "You've got about as much experience as a referee as Hillary Clinton does as a government official." Where did that come from? Finlay controlled the action for several minutes include a Boston Crab. Rey came back at 9:00 and hit a slidekick to knock Finlay to the floor. When he re-entered, Finlay attacked him. Rey fought right back. The ref got shoved down during their struggle, and he called for the bell and DQ'd them both. Cole wondered if they'd both lose their title match opportunity at Cyber Sunday. As Finlay was about to strike Rey with his stick, the lights went out. When they came back on, Taker stood over both Finlay and Rey. He then looked over at Batista. Batista stood and yanked off his headset. Taker signalled for the belt around his waist. Batista looked at his title, then up at Taker, then held his belt in the air as the show ended.

WINNER: No contest in 11:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Eh. Nothing much exciting here.

FINAL THOUGHTS: I'm not sure if it's good or bad that my report on Impact took twice as many words. Less to rant about, but less to be entertained by, too. Taker got a strong, but unnecessary win, over MVP in a tag match to build him up for the show-closing challenge of Batista. Nothing else much happened. Some mid-card wrestlers were featured. Vickie Guerrero's G.M. stint went nowhere. Not offensive, mildly entertaining, but utterly skippable.

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