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KELLER'S SMACKDOWN REPORT
OCTOBER 19, 2007
TAPED 10/16 IN THE UNITED KINGDOM
BROADCAST ON THE CW
WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR
-After the Smackdown opening, Michael Cole and JBL introduced the show. Then they right to clips of last week's main event finish leading to Undertaker staring down Batista at ringside. JBL said now they know that Undertaker is the no. 1 contender who will face Batista at Cyber Sunday. Cole said JBL has a special interview later with Batista. Cole said viewers should remember the "trilogy of matches" Batista and Undertaker had earlier in the year.
The Great Khali [artist Neal Obermeyer (c) PWTorch]
1 -- THE GREAT KHALI vs. KANE
Cole noted that Kane showed up as C.M. Punk's surprise partner on ECW on Tuesday night as part of a "new business relationship" Armando Estrada established with Vickie Guerrero. Khali head-butted Kane to the mat, then applied a nerve hold. JBL said that hold may not cause you to submit, but it does wear you down and cause numbness. Kane stood and fought out of it with elbows. Khali fired back with a big chop. Kane dropped. Cole sold it like a Samoa Joe ole kick. Kane fired back with some punches and kicks that almost staggered Khali. Kane climbed to the top rope and hit Khali with a flying forearm/chop to drop Khali. When he signalled for the chokeslam, Khali elbowed him, then clotheslined him over the top rope. Khali raised his arms as the sound machine booed (and probably some UK fans, too).
WINNER: Kane via DQ in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- It was surprising watchable. But my expectations couldn't have been lower.
After the match, Khali wrapped a cable around Kane's neck. Ref Charles Robinson called for the bell and DQ'd Khali at 4:00. Khali began pulling apart the announce table. Kane recovered and hit Khali with the ringside bell. At that point, Big Daddy V and Matt Striker walked toward the ring. "How many monsters do we have?" asked JBL. BDV gave the plunge back slam to Kane in center ring, then stood over him. Cole called him "an absolutely huge mass of matter."
[Commercial Break]
-Backstage, Striker said BDV is his ticket to stardom and rocket to the top. He said Smackdown fans will now get to see the most dominant force in WWE. Cole said, "Who can argue with the man?"
2 -- CHUCK PALUMBO (w/Michelle McCool) vs. CHRIS MASTERS
Masters argued with McCool at ringside early, then took a forearm to the face by Palumbo. Back in the ring, Palumbo went on the attack hard and fast, as is his signature. Palumbo hit Masters with a flying shoulder at 3:00. Just when he had Masters where he wanted him, Victoria jumped McCool at ringside. Masters then charged at Palumbo and rolled him up for a three count.
WINNER: Masters in 3:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Basic stuff, although I like that Palumbo is setting himself apart as best he can with the "full throttle" gimmick in the ring to match his motorcycle gimmick
-MVP told Matt Hardy backstage that's starting to dig him and look at him like a teammate. He said they're champions, "Like Michael Jordan and Steve Kerr, like Jeff Garcia and Terrell Owens, like Tiger Woods and his caddy." He said they need to stay focused on the tag titles because that's what's important. Matt said he's looking forward to fans voting for their type of match. He said it's a cool concept. MVP said he's doing all he can to keep the focus on the tag team championships. He said he's going to prove it by watching his back during his match later against Finlay. Matt said he wants to keep his battle his own. He wished him luck against Rey Mysterio later. Hardy added, "I think you're much better than a caddy."
[Commercial Break]
-They showed scenes of the UK outside, then went to the Raw Rebound.
3 -- MATT HARDY vs. FINLAY
Cole said Cyber Sunday is the fans "dream come true." Then he talked more about voting options for MVP vs. Hardy. JBL said he liked the mixed martial arts option. A minute in, Hardy knocked Finlay to the floor, then slidekicked him. When Finlay got into the ring first, he threw Hardy off the ring apron and into the security railing. After extended offense by Finlay, including a half Boston crab and a chinlock, Hardy made a full comeback including a Side Effect for a two count. Finlay yanked the middle turnbuckle cover off. As the ref put it back on, Finlay reached for his shillelagh, but MVP pushed it away. Hardy then gave Finlay a Twist of Fate for the win.
WINNER: Hardy in 6:00.
STAR RATING: * -- Okay. Not particularly exciting, but not bad.
-They showed The Major Brothers heading toward the entrance tunnel.
[Commercial Break]
3 -- DREW MCINTYRE (w/Dave Taylor) vs. BRIAN MAJOR (w/Brett Major)
JBL said he was impressed with McIntyre's debut last week. JBL again said the Majors remind him of the Simpsons. Cole said what he loves about Smackdown is all of the young stars making a name for themselves. JBL called Teddy Long "the Isiah Thomas of General Managers." Cole said he's been released from the hospital. Cole added that Vickie Guerrero is doing well as G.M. so far. When he called her the acting general manager, JBL called Cole the "acting general manager." Drew finished Brian with his finisher, a sweeping face plant.
WINNER: McIntyre in 2:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- McIntyre took a couple indy-show style bodyslams from Brian, but otherwise didn't leave his feet much. Just like last week, he didn't initiate much action in the short time he had.
-A vignette aired on the Batista-Taker series titled "A Rivalry Born." Nice video recapping each of their matches from earlier this year.
-JBL headed to the ring for his interview of Batista mid-ring.
[Commercial Break]
WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR
-JBL went on and on about "The Wrestling God returning to the ring." Batista finally interrupted. Batista entered the ring and asked, "I'm sorry, were you still talking?" JBL said he has heard from his Internet stooges that he's leading in online voting right now. Batista said if that turns out to be the case, "stay out of my way." JBL told Batista, "You've never beaten the Undertaker, have you?" JBL then plugged Batista's book. He said he wrote that he wanted people to know he could stand up to him. JBL said he didn't write that he wanted to show people he could beat him. JBL repeated, "You cannot beat him." Batista said he's not afraid of the Undertaker or anyone else. As Batista turned to leave the ring, JBL called out, "Coward." Batista stopped and turned back to center ring where JBL stood. He gave JBL one of those looks, then speared him hard to the mat. Cole said JBL was right, that he didn't beat Undertaker in any of their three matches, so he has something to prove at Cyber Sunday.
[Commercial Break]
-A red-faced JBL complained to Cole about Batista "taking a potshot at me of all people, a Wrestling God." He said if he's ref, he'll be damn sure Batista doesn't win. He said he doesn't like Undertaker, but he dislikes Batista more. So when the fans vote for one of the others, JBL will be calling the match, but will interfere costing Batista the match either via DQ or costing him the title.
-The Diva Search CPR video aired.
4 -- DEUCE & DOMINO (w/Cherry) vs. JIMMY YANG WANG & SHANNON MOORE
Cole called Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang "The Reject and the Redneck." Then added, "I'm clever every once in a while." Yang and Moore took turns diving onto D&D at ringside in the opening minute. Back in the ring Moore went on a flurry of offense in the opening minute. Moore took Domino out of the ring with a head scissors, then Yang finished off Deuce with a moonsault for the win. Cole played up how much fun Moore and Yang were having during the match and celebrating their win.
WINNERS: Moore & Yang in 3:00.
STAR RATING: * -- Short match, but lots of action and inventive exchanges.
-Vickie Guerrero ordered flowers for Teddy Long. Jamie Noble walked in rubbing his temples. She asked if he was all right. He said, "No, I'm not all right," and cracked me up the way he said it. He tried to control himself as he explained that he doesn't know what he did to make Vickie angry at him. He said he wanted to apologize for whatever it was. Vickie said he understands there's a lot of pressure on her. "You're a woman with your irrational emotions and hormones flying all over the place, so I understand how you'd make some irrational decisions." Noble asked how he can help out the show. Vickie said it'd help the show if he'd wrestle tonight. Noble was concerned. He said he's not physically ready. She told him his opponent would be The Undertaker. He freaked out. He said she's lost her mind and can't wait for Teddy Long to get back to work.
[Commercial Break]
5 -- UNDERTAKER vs. JAMIE NOBLE
Obviously, Noble got in zero offense. Taker dominated him and won with a Tombstone after a minute of beating him up.
WINNER: Undertaker in 1:00.
STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Man, Taker would totally clean up in Ring of Honor!
[Commercial Break]
-More scenes of the streets of the U.K., then a plug for Kasabian for the official theme song of Cyber Sunday. Cole and JBL ran down the announced line-up.
-MVP ring intro took place.
-The "Save Us" video played with the "Borne Identity" like music.
[Commercial Break]
6 -- MVP vs. REY MYSTERIO
After some early back and forth action, Rey ducked MVP flying at him, so MVP landed on the floor. Rey then climbed to the top rope and dove onto MVP on the floor. A minute later, MVP kicked Rey out of the ring and then they cut to a break at 3:00. They're not going to give viewers much of this match at all.
[Commercial Break]
With five minutes left in the show, they returned to the back with MVP on offense. MVP pressed and dropped Rey behind him. Then he gave him an overhead suplex, which Ray bumped for well. Rey came back by avoiding an MVP kick, and then firing back with kicks of his own. He crossbody blocks MVP to the mat for a two count at 7:00. The crowd chanted loudly for a 619, but MVP made a comeback and dove at Rey again. Rey moved and kicked MVP into position for the 619. He hit the move. The crowd popped. MVP stopped Rey in his tracks with a boot to the face followed by a cover for a near fall at 9:00. MVP set up a Playmaker, but Finlay yanked him out of the ring. The ref called for a quick bell. Finlay clotheslined MVP at ringside, getting even for his interference earlier. Finlay then took Rey down with a clothesline at ringside. Back in the ring, though, Rey set up Finlay for a 619. Finlay moved, but Rey sent Finlay to the floor with a head scissors. Cole said that's just a sign of what's on its way at Cyber Sunday.
WINNER: MVP via DQ or No Contest (take your pick, as WWE didn't announce it) in 9:00.
STAR RATING: ** -- A really nice start to a good match, but with the commercial break and interference finish, it didn't really develop into a full-fledged match.
FINAL THOUGHTS: I'd watch Impact over this six out of seven nights of the week (as long as Mike Tenay and Don West weren't yelling at me for two hours, and last night they were better about that). But if I wanted to draw money on PPV or house shows, I'd want this as my show before Impact. The booking is maddeningly logic, but there is hardly a sense of "anything can happen." It's just one of those shows you can read about and not watch and miss almost nothing. There are no great promos guys. There are no great matches. There are glimpses of stellar athleticism and some good talkers (JBL, MVP), but there's just nothing about this era of Smackdown that sticks with you past the next pay-per-view. I suppose that's by design to a degree, but it's not a must-see show. Catch it once a month to see what the main characters look and sound and act like, then check out if you're busy. That said, it's not a bad way to pass two hours, either. It's Wonder Bread. Predictable, soft, bland, but reliable and neutral.
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