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KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
OCTOBER 25, 2007
AIRED ON SPIKE TV
TAPED 10/16 IN ORLANDO, FLA.

WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR

-The show opened with a video about the Fight for the Right tournament with the grandiose music and James Earl Jonesish voiceover with a bunch of highfalutin superlatives.

-Jeremy Borash interviewed Kurt and Karen Angle in the parking area "earlier today." Angle said he hadn't shaved all week (he had a few hours of stubble). Kevin Nash showed up just as Kurt and Karen were going to discuss their strategy for dealing with them. (They had ALL WEEK and they wait until he's about to arrive to discuss strategy?) Kurt pleaded with Nash, saying he needs him beside him in his corner so he can beat Sting for the TNA Title. Kurt presented Nash with a gift. Nash said, "Did you make me a mixed tape?" Angle presented him with an autographed photo that said, "BFF." Angle said, "BFF. Get it, best friends for life. That's more catchy than NWO 4 Life, don't you think?" Nash said the NWO was a shoot. He said, "Pac and Scott Hall, still my friends." He said he's looking forward to the match and will be at ringside watching Sting kick his ass. Karen got upset and asked why he'd say something like that. Nash walked away. Karen asked Kurt if he has any other great ideas. Kurt said it was a good pitch and worth a shot.

-The Impact opening aired. Mike Tenay introduced the show using his indoor voice again for the second straight week. If ratings are down again, he's going to go back to yelling at next week's tapings. Don West was a little louder, but toned down for him. Tenay said tonight is a special night that needs no hype. He then went on to hype the main event match.

1 -- VOO DOO KIN MAFIA (B.G. & Kip James w/Roxxi Laveaux) & TOMKO & A.J. STYLES vs. LAX (Homicide & Hernandez) & RICK & SCOTT STEINER

Tenay and West kept hyping the match that needed no hype, calling Sting vs. Angle a PPV quality match-up. Tenay also plugged LAX challenging Styles & Tomko next week for the TNA Tag Team Titles. Good to see the tag titles being hyped as a big deal by someone on American pro wrestling TV these days. Everyone got a chance to wrestle in the opening six minutes of the match. Tenay then called the match that doesn't need any hype "the biggest match in TNA Impact history."

[Commercial Break]

Roxxi entered the ring, spit in Hernandez's face, and then was dropped with the Fameasser for a two count. A mystery Latino Nation member came to ringside and handed Homicide a loaded sock (it looked like a cucumber inside a dress sock, for those wanting a mental picture) which he used to KO B.G. with Hernandez making the cover for the win.

WINNERS: LAX & Steiners in 11:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Just a bunch of moves.

-Crystal interviewed Sting backstage about facing Kurt Angle later. Sting said, "This has nothing to do with the title. What can be said that hasn't already been said." (Pause: It's a title match, that has nothing to do with the title. Good start. And I'm about to cut a promo by saying something that's already been said. Good second sentence. Way to just totally hook the audience and build anticipation. Unpause.) He stoically then told Angle to get up and look at the screen real close and asked him what he'd do if someone put one of their hands on one of his children. He got intense and said he knows he would have torn that person apart limb by limb. He said that's exactly what he's going to do to him again.

-They cut backstage to Karen and Kurt watching Sting's promo on a monitor. Karen freaked out. "Now what are we going to do?!" she shrieked. Kurt said it's Karen's move. He told her to go seduce Kevin. "Money and sex are the only two things Kevin understands. And I'm not about to part with a penny." Karen couldn't believe the suggestion. He called her Miss Innocent sarcastically, then told her to go act it out. Karen asked what happens if he bites. Angle said it's only one time and he'd get over it. Karen looked at Jeremy like she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Kurt asked Borash, "Was it wrong of me to ask her to do that?"

-The screen had the brackets for the tournament. Tenay talked briefly about it.

-Ring intros aired for James Storm and Eric Young. What better hook to keep viewers than that

[Commercial Break]

2 -- JAMES STORM (w/Jackie Moore) vs. ERIC YOUNG

Storm opened with an eye poke, then as anyone trying to win a match would, put on a loose standing side headlock immediately that Young easily escaped. Young countered Storm and punched away at his head in the corner,then put on Storm's hat and did the Jarrett strut. Tenay and West continued to plug other stuff on the show, as if viewers just sit there waiting for an excuse to not tune out constantly and they need reassurances from the announcers constantly that something better than what they're watching is definitely positively coming up. Storm mistakenly hit Jackie when she stood on the ring apron to distract Young. Young checked on Jackie and then was blindsided by Moore with a superkick for the loss. West said Young is so good-hearted. After the match, Jackie was about to hand Young a beer. Young yanked it away from her. Jackie yelled at him, so he tossed Young the beer. He drank it. I have no idea what just happened.

WINNER: Young in 5:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

-Borash followed Karen into Nash's locker room where she sat on his lap and began rubbing his chest. Nash said he didn't care if the cameras were there because "it'll just give me something to watch back later." He was about to make out with her, but then he dropped her on the couch. He said maybe ten years ago she had a chance, but even with all of her enhancements, she's still an Angle and he's not interested. Borash asked Nash if he was okay. Nash said he's human, but a cold shower would take care of that.

[Commercial Break]

-Tenay had a sitdown empty arena interview with Team 3D. Devon told Tenay they had their tag belts stolen from them and TNA never did anything to fix it. He said they're going to fix the wrong and make it wrong and get back what rightfully belongs to them. Tenay said he's seen them lead a path of destruction in TNA, but they've shifted from wanting to destroy everyone to just the X Division. Tenay asked what was up with that. Ray leaned over Tenay and said, "You make me want to throw up all over your face. Why does anybody care about the X Division." He threatened to hit Tenay. He said he's been touting the X Division for years, then asked what it brings to the table. "They're a bunch of little men - boys in a man's world," he said. "Every single X Division wrestler deserves to be out of this company and not have a job." He said they'd do whatever it took to make it happen. Tenay asked why Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin. Ray said they had the Steiners beat when they came to ringside and distracted them and cost them the match. He said they're going to take it out on them "and all their little boyfriends in the X Division." He said they're going to do that "because we can."

3 -- "THE GURU" SONJAY DUTT vs. HAVOK vs. SHARK BOY vs. PETEY WILLIAMS

Tenay and West hyped the Sting vs. Angle match during the opening minute of this pointless match, other than to wrestle for a few minutes until Team 3D come out and beat up all four. Shark Boy dove over the top rope onto Petey and Havok. Dutt then flipped onto all three. Sure enough. Out came Team 3D, who said, "Yet another crappy X Division match by crappy X Division wrestlers." West said they chose an opportune time to attack them when all of them were down already on the concrete. They gave Dutt a 3D in mid-ring. Ray whipped Shark Boy between his legs with a spiked belt. He whipped the others as Devon got a table. Ray declared on the mic that they are going to destroy the X Division. He said wherever an X Division may be, so will Team 3D. He said they are the greatest team in the history of wrestling. Devon flexed because that's so 2007/2008 cool. They gave stereo powerbombs on Petey and Havok on two tables in the ring.

WINNER: No contest in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

[Commercial Break]

-Crystal interviewed Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks about Roode's match later with Junior Fatu and his attack on Samoa Joe last week. He said what matters to him is the Fight for the Right tournament and the TNA Championship. He said he's tired of seeing the same people each week on Impact. He said the way to become the top dog in the tournament is to take out the top dog. He replied to Fatu calling him a jobroni last week. Roode leaned into the camera and said his name. He said he'll not only learn his name later, but learn "it pays to be Roode."

-Tenay did the "Tale of the Tape" on Sting vs. Angle. It was actually talking points on three key issues in their feud. There were no stats at all.

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR

Kurt Angle [artist Grant Gould (c) PWTorch]

4 -- STING vs. KURT ANGLE (w/Karen Angle) - TNA World Hvt. Title match

Angle came out first, then Sting. Borash handled the ring introductions to give it a "big match" feel. Tenay said, "This is what separates us from everyone else. This is what TNA does best - pay-per-view quality main event on Thursday Night Impact." He said this match headlined Bound for Glory, their signature PPV event and their best PPV event of 2007. We got some lazy, unimaginative side headlocks early by Sting, just filling time. At 3:00 Angle powered out and kicked Sting in the corner, then charged into the corner. Sting moved and went back to a side headlock on the mat. Tenay asked if anyone thought Sting would "out-wrestle" Angle in the early minutes. Angle backdropped out of the headlock. West said perhaps Sting was being too methodical. The crowd was hyped up for the big match-up they were seeing. At 5:00 Sting punched Angle ten times in the corner. Nash walked to ringside to watch the match. They cut to commercials at 9:00.

[Commercial Break]

Tenay called it the biggest match-up they've ever had on Impact. They showed that during the break Angle knocked Sting to the floor when he turned to look at Nash. Back in the ring, Sting avoided a suplex by Angle and slammed Angle's head into the mat with a DDT. Sting then clotheslined Angle to the floor at 12:00. As they fought at ringside, Angle shoved Sting into Nash's lap. Sting turned and punched Nash for no reason. Tenay said he didn't blame Sting because Nash interfered at Bound for Glory and it was just a defense mechanism. West said in that case, though, Nash didn't do anything. Nash slowly stood. Back in the ring, Angle set up a tombstone piledriver. Sting flipped over. Angle slipped down right into an anklelock. Sting powered out. At 14:00 Sting avoided an Olympic Slam and applied a Scorpion Deathlock. Angle teased tapping out. Nash stood on the ring apron and began to climb over the top rope. Angle knocked Sting into the ref Rudy Charles who knocked Nash to the floor. Angle then gave Sting an Olympic Slam. A second ref, Earl Hebner, came out and counted a pin for Angle.

WINNER: Angle in 15:00 to capture the TNA World Hvt. Title.

STAR RATING: ** -- Remember, the babyface champion before his title defense of his newly won and coveted most prestigious title in the land, said, "it's not about the title."

-After the match, Nash reached out to shake Angle's hand, but Angle flipped him off. It was blurred on the screen. Nash shook his head in disgust that Angle didn't appreciate his help. He stormed to the back as the two refs argued mid-ring and shoved each other. Jim Cornette the charged into the ring because if there's one thing the commish of TNA can't stand, it's two referees arguing. Team 3D attacking four wrestlers and ending a match prematurely? That's okay. Nash, with a history of interfering in big matches, coming to ringside for a World Title match - the biggest match ever on Impact? That's okay. But two refs shoving each other? That calls for prompt intervention. Tenay said there's no way that decision could stand, then they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

-The argument continued after the break. Cornette physically separated them. Tenay said he couldn't believe they had to watch the refs and Cornette argue for four minutes during that commercial break. Cornette said they're grown men and they need to act like it. He said he's going to get statements from each ref and watch the videotape and figure out what happened, then he'd make a decision. Tenay said that's ridiculous and called Cornette over to him. He asked Cornette what needs to be reviewed; the decision is obvious. Cornette said they had enough problems without worrying about him. He told him to sit down and shut up.

5 -- ANGEL WILLIAMS vs. AWESOME KONG

As West began talking about the match in the ring, Tenay went off on Cornette talking to him like that. He said he has an opinion and he knows what he saw. He said he hasn't done anything like this in all of his years in wrestling, but he's going to leave mid-match and go protest to Cornette. Of all the outrages over the years, the endless stream of interference finishes, this set off Tenay? If this leads to Cornette becoming a heel manager and Tenay becoming a commissioner who insists on clean finishes and some new play-by-play announcer, that might not be bad all things considered. Kong scored a pin after a powerbomb, then stared at a picture of Gail Kim.

WINNER: Kong in 2:00.

STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Total domination.

-West was shown at ringside handling hosting duties alone. He talked about the Black Reign-Abyss rat-in-a-bag incident last week. They went backstage to Abyss throwing things and yelling. Then Reign attacked him from behind as James Mitchell looked on and made snide comments to Abyss about making a mess and acting like a pig. Reign tied Abyss's hands together with Mitchell's help. Then he squeezed Abyss's head in a vice. A real vice. Abyss yelled in pain and agony. Then Reign set the rat on Abyss's head.

[Commercial Break]

-Nash barged into Cornette's office and interrupted Tenay discussion with him. Nash said nobody flips him off. He demanded a match against Angle or else he could put his head through a wall. Matt Morgan made a move toward Nash. Cornette yelled for order. He said he'd address his problem after he addresses the result of the championship match. He said he is partially responsible for what happened because he came to ringside to watch. Nash said that's fine, he'll just be partially responsible for what happens to Cornette if he doesn't give him the match he wants.

6 -- JUNIOR FATU vs. ROBERT ROODE

Fatu walked to the ring smiling and dancing with fans who were way too easy as they danced with him. If there's a wrestler who ever deserved go away heat, it's Fatu. Christian, sadly underutilized on this show, carried a ladder to ringside, then joined West at the announce table. Tenay was still missing. Christian said he's there to add some personality and real insight to the commentary. Christian said they need to figure out who's going to do color and who play-by-play. West voted for winging it. Fatu sat out on a sunset flip and almost crushed Roode's head; Roode moved just in time.

[Commercial Break]

Roode dominated after the break. Christian said the solution to the Sting-Angle controversy is giving him the World Title because he deserves it. He then plugged his DVD. Fatu came back and went for a splash in the corner. Roode moved and the ref got crushed. With the ref down, Roode went for a clothesline. Fatu ducked and then superkicked Roode into the corner with the ref. Fatu gave both the Stink Face. They showed fans cringing. Roode got up and gave a smiling, celebrating Fatu a low blow. When he grabbed a chair, Joe came out and yanked it from him, then hit him with it. Fatu gave Roode a piledriver, the ref came to, and Fatu made the cover for the win. Joe charged at Christian and chased him to the back.

WINNER: Junior Fatu in 13:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4.

-Afterward they cut to the back where Nash went after the Angles. Kurt sped off in a car, leaving Karen behind.

-They cut back to the ring where Cornette and Tenay entered the ring to announce a decision regarding the TNA World Title controversy. Cornette first apologized to Tenay. Tenay asked him what his decision was. Cornette said he's taken the referee's statements and reviewed the videotape. Cornette said Hebner says Angle was the winner. Charles, the ref of record, wanted to DQ Angle for Nash's interference. Cornette said the problem with that is Nash didn't attack Sting, Sting attacked Nash. He said Nash never struck Sting and wasn't the aggressor. Cornette said he had to rule that for now, Angle is the TNA World Champion. The crowd booed and Tenay made a cartoon face. Cornette said Angle may be champion now, but he might not be for long. He said Angle must defend at Genesis. He said Nash will be really close to Angle at Genesis because Angle is going to defend the TNA World Title in a tag team match and Nash will be his partner. Cornette said Sting would be one of his opponents. As he was about to announce the second opponent, Sting said he'd come up with his own partner. Cornette said that's fine with him, but he should remember that the winner of the match will be the TNA World Hvt. Champion. Sting said the World Champion will not be Angle after Genesis. West said, "I have more questions now than when this thing started."

-A highlight video aired to Bro-kin's "Seperate." Or is it "Separate's" Bro-Kin? This video makes more sense now with a two hour show since some of that early stuff does feel like a distant memory now.

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