TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S WWE RAW REPORT 10/29: Ongoing virtual time coverage of live Raw
Oct 29, 2007 - 10:11:26 PM
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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
WWE Raw Live Report
October 29 from Philadelphia, Pa.
The show opened with Ross and Lawler plugging Triple "Superman" H against Orton and Umaga in a handicap street fight as tonight's main event.
Time for a Halloween costume divas battle royale. Same costumes as last night, except Torrie Wilson is in a Philadelphia Eagles jersey. And Jillian is missing Tony Romo.
1 -- DIVAS HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST BATTLE ROYALE
Ross and Lawler exchanged Halloween contest ideas. Lawler is going to be the perverted magician, David Copafeel. Maria was hung up by her tail in the corner, so Torrie ripped the tail off and eliminated her. The fans were growing restless with the helter skelter action, then Melina eliminated Mickie and herself. Meanwhile, Jillian Hall remained on the floor covering herself, possibly having been injured or having a wardrobe malfunction. With it down to Kelly, Torrie, and Victoria, Torrie and Kelly pushed Sumo Victoria over the top rope, then Kelly quickly eliminated Torrie to pick up the win.
Afterward, Beth Phoenix showed up and Kelly tried to bail, but Torrie and Victoria threw her back into the ring. Beth then put Kelly in a double-arm chicken wing before throwing her down to the mat. Ross pointed out that Beth injured Candice Michelle last week.
WINNER: Kelly in 5:00. A rather interesting decision to start with this rather than a follow-up on one of last night's top matches. (n/a)
They showed footage of Randy Orton low blowing Shawn Michaels to DQ himself and retain the title at Cyber Sunday. Shawn Michaels was shown walking backstage after they showed footage of Michaels superkicking Orton after the match last night.
Shawn Michaels walked out sporting a baseball cap to pick up some merchandise sales, then he took a mic and said he's back in the saddle again. Michaels thanked the fans for voting him into the title match, then said he has some good news and bad news. Good news: he knocked Orton out cold with sweet chin music. Bad news: he does not have the WWE Title. Michaels said he knows there are people who walk around here talking about the size of their grapefruits, but he'll be real that someone has to have pinpoint accuracy to knock his grapefruits, which means Orton did it on purpose. Michaels said he wants a re-match and he wants it now. Speaking of grapefruits, Vince McMahon's music hit and he waddled out with a not-so-pleasant look on his face.
Michaels waited for McMahon to get in the ring and McMahon asked the crowd how many people want to see Michaels in a re-match. Of course, the crowd popped, then McMahon went in close and asked Michaels what he's doing. Michaels didn't play his cards. McMahon said somewhere inside of Michaels, he wants to be WWE champion again. He said he won't squander this opportunity and he'll set records as the greatest WWE champion of all time. "That's what you want!" McMahon shouted. Michaels didn't give. McMahon said he knows Michaels also wants revenge on Orton because he sat at home thinking about how close Orton came to putting him out for good. McMahon said he knows what Michaels is all about, not just reading the Bible once in a while, but there's a part of Michaels that's rotten down to the core. McMahon demanded that Michaels admit he wants to put out Orton so bad.
Michaels shouted back that he admits to it. He said he sat at home for four months on someone else's terms. Michaels said the next time he leaves the industry, he leaves on his terms. Michaels said Orton tried to change that, so he wants to take out Orton in the prime of his career. He demanded to know if he has the re-match or not. McMahon told Michaels to be careful what he wishes for: at Survivor Series. "You got it!" McMahon said. Michaels didn't flinch. McMahon repeated it, then asked Michaels what he's going to do about it. Michaels went for Sweet Chin Music, but didn't connect. McMahon dropped down on his back and stared at Michaels. McMahon rolled out of the ring and Michaels put his fingers together to show "this close". At first blush, it looks like Michaels completely missed and they called an audible to sell it like Michaels was supposed to miss.
2 -- HARDCORE HOLLY & CODY RHODES vs. World's Greatest Tag Team (SHELTON BENJAMIN & CHARLIE HAAS)
Very physical early on, with Holly being cornered by WGTT while Cody stood on the apron looking for a tag. Cody took a tag and went up top for a flying shoulder block on Haas. Cody landed a powerslam as the fans chanted, "Y2J". Cody then nailed Haas with a DDT for the win. Afterward, Cody tried to get a congratulations from Holly, but Holly looked at him like don't touch me, boy. Holly then left the ring and Cody shook his head, unsure what to make of Holly's reaction.
WINNERS: Holly & Rhodes in 3:00. Strange dynamic to this one. The program is still taking shape in the oven, so it won't be ready for a few weeks. (1/2*)
Déjà vu moment with Orton and Umaga talking strategy backstage just like their program two months ago.
Ross and Lawler talked about Candice Michelle's severe injury last week. Ross said she broke her clavicle and will be out several weeks. They went to footage of her going up top, then being dropped straight down on the mat. Ross said Beth "callously" pulled Candice from the corner to make the pin. They went backstage where Todd Grisham interviewed Beth about injuring folks. Beth said she doesn't regret injuring people - she's making a statement. Beth said the divas want to dress up and pretend like they're something they're not. She said Candice spent months trying to improve herself and perfect her skills, but it was all for waste. Beth said Candice can go back to Wisconsin, have some babies, work a waitress job, and tell everyone her career was ended by the Glamazon. Very good heel promo.
They went backstage where Mickie James approached Trevor Murdoch. Mickie thanked Murdoch for saving her last week from impending peril with Lance Cade. Murdoch said it was just instinct and he's not a big fan of seeing an innocent girl getting hurt. Mickie said she's really not that innocent. Cade then walked in to make it a sandwich. Mickie saw Cade and quickly walked away. Cade then asked Murdoch what that was all about, and Murdoch said they're just friends. Cade told him she's out of his league, which Murdoch wasn't so sure about. They transitioned to talking about the tag titles (yes, quite shockingly). Cade said he wants to hold the straps for a long time, so he needs his head in the game. Murdoch said he'd be right there to hold up his end of the bargain.
They went to William Regal talking to Mr. McMahon. Regal warned McMahon about getting in harm's way with Michaels earlier. He said the roster is already depleted, so they don't need any more injuries. Regal asked McMahon why put Hunter in another brutal match after he got beat up last night. McMahon said he doesn't want anyone hurt, but with Hunter, he doesn't mind because it's personal. He transitioned to asking about Hornswoggle. Regal opened up a side door with green light and Hornswoggle emerged. McMahon needed a moment alone with Horny, so they sat down. McMahon said he knows he hasn't been around much for Hornswoggle lately, but he's been trying to get Horny to stand on his own two feet. McMahon said he booked Hornswoggle vs. Coach for tonight because every grown man should be knocked on his ass once in a lifetime. He said a McMahon gets knocked down, and keeps getting up until the other person doesn't have anything left to knock a McMahon down again. McMahon told Horny he has to deal with success and he has to learn how to deal with it as the rightful thing to do: be successful. He said when you're successful, you get it all. And when you're a McMahon, you have to learn how to hate. Hornswoggle's nostril started to flare up. He said if you can't hate, you can't be successful. Hornswoggle got a head of steam and ran away from McMahon.
There was a Save_us video that aired with the X_29 code and a new one, telling us to Break the Code on 19_launch.
Coach walked out for a match, then Hornswoggle followed out. Mick Foley is the special referee for this one and Horny's eyes lit up with anti-hate. Foley dropped down to one knee and gave Hornswoggle a high-five before the match. Foley then checked Coach for foreign objects and got too frisky with his leg.
3 -- THE COACH vs. HORNSWOGGLE
Foley asked for the bell and Coach tried to corner Hornswoggle, who slid underneath Coach's legs before stomping on his foot and landing a dropkick. Horny then hopped on Coach's back and rode him like a horse. Coach picked up Hornswoggle for a powerslam, but Horny bit him on the ear. Foley gave Hornswoggle a head start on a clothesline before Hornswoggle landed a series of splashes. He went for a big corner splash, but Coach moved and stalked Hornswoggle. Coach accidentally hit Foley with an elbow, then Coach snuck a chair into the ring. Foley stole it, though, and he whipped out a mini-Socko for Hornswoggle to utilize. And utilize it he did - right on Coach's sac. He got a handful of testes, then Foley clotheslined Coach to the mat. Hornswoggle followed with a tadpole splash from the top rope for the win.
WINNER: Hornswoggle in 4:00. This won't draw any money, but they've spent so much time on TV with this feud, that it fits the TV progression. Foley is a roleplayer utilized for lighthearted comedy, so no surprise on his role here. (n/a)
Backstage, Todd Grisham interviewed Triple H. Grisham, obviously not used to Hunter's Superman tendency, said it doesn't look good for Hunter against Orton and Umaga tonight. Hunter sarcastically thanked Grisham for reminding him of the certain peril he faces. Hunter said it might not look good for him tonight, but he has an ace up his sleeve tonight. He said Orton and Umaga might be two of the meanest in the game right now, but he is the game.
Paul "uncle Abe" London and Brian Kendrick came out for a singles match against Cade, accompanied by Murdoch.
4 -- PAUL LONDON (w/Brian Kendrick) vs. CADE (w/Murdoch)
Cade knocked London to the floor two minutes in, then Kendrick ran into the ring and ran over the top rope with a big splash on Murdoch. That was random. Back in the ring, Cade with an elevated spinebuster on London for the win. Afterward, the Highlanders showed up and stared down the tag champs before beating up Kendrick and London even more. Cade and Murdoch stared back at the Highlanders once they were done with K&L.
WINNER: Cade in 3:00. No surprise that the crowd wasn't into this one, as Kendrick and London have zero credibility right now. A complete waste of a babyface tag team. (1/2*)
Jeff Hardy came to the ring for a tag match. D.H. Smith came out as his tag partner. He'll never get over running to the ring with a big smile on his face. Paging Maiva, Rocky. Carlito then led out Mr. Kennedy as the opponents.
5 -- JEFF HARDY & D.H. SMITH vs. CARLITO & MR. KENNEDY
Hardy started things off and worked over the heels before Smith took a tag and worked on Carlito. Carlito suddenly fired back like someone lit a fire under him. Smith wasted no time coming back with a big clothesline, taking Carlito over the top rope to the floor. Hardy then chucked Kennedy out of the ring to the floor and the babyfaces got their shine before the break.
Carlito was working on Smith after the break. Lawler said DH stands for Davey (Boy Smith) and Hart (Foundation). The heels continued to work on Smith, who couldn't get the hot tag to Hardy.
Hardy took the hot tag at 10:00 when Smith straight smashed Kennedy in the side of the head with an enziguiri kick. Hardy ran over the heels before touching up Carlito with the Whisper in the Wind for a nearfall. The action broke down and Kennedy went for a big boot on Smith in the corner, but Smith moved and Kennedy spilled to the floor. Back in the ring, Hardy hit the Twist of Fate on Carlito, then went up top and nailed the Swanton Bomb for the win.
WINNERS: Hardy & Smith in 11:00. Hardy gets a little bit of his heat back after losing to Kennedy last night. Crowd was, for the most part, hot for Hardy, but you can sense some of the male anti-Cena hate slowly being transferred to Hardy. Good action in this one. (*3/4)
Santino Marella's music hit and he walked out dressed for the club. Santino walked out and sarcastically thanked the crowd for their applause. He said he is here to make a formal complaint to the WWE travel department for preventing him from making the trip to Cyber Sunday to give him a piece of his mind. He said his only consolation was the in-flight movie not being The Condemned because there aren't enough vomit bags in North America ... suddenly, the glass broke, but a fake Austin showed up on the video screen. Oh, playing with Philly's emotions reached a new peak with no Jericho so far tonight, as it was Santino in a pre-tape standing in front of a Stone Cold logo. Fake Austin said Santino was right about everything: Santino should have been the star of Condemned and he'll open a can of ass whip and stomp a mud pie in anyone who disagrees with him. Fake Austin grabbed a beer and enjoyed it. Santino then thanked him for his honesty. He said the people can learn from Austin - that he may be a lousy actor, but he's honest. Maria showed up and said Austin would be on the show next week. The fans booed, wanting him this week. Santino laughed and said Maria will believe anything, like on those internet chat sites. He said if Austin was going to show up, he would have already been here. Santino said the only place to find Austin is on the cover of The Condemned, right next to Jillian's CD at a gas station. He wrapped it up and then his music hit and he danced with Maria.
They cut backstage to Candice Michelle walking backstage. Oh wait, that's one of the divas. They're revealing the winner of the diva search contest next.
Todd Grisham was on stage to reveal the diva search winner. The fans were already booing during Grisham's intro. Brooke came out first. Eve followed out next. San Diego vs. Los Angeles tonight. Grisham made the mistake of polling the crowd on who would win, and they booed. Grisham then revealed that Eve won the diva search. Brunette over the blonde. Eve, the tall one, celebrated on stage.
Suddenly, the Save_US video came on again. Instead of Jericho, Randy Orton walked out on stage for the main event. Well, it is a handicap match and Hunter said he had an ace up his sleeve. Orton stood in the ring and held up his title belt before they cut to a break.
They aired a video package confirming that Austin will be on Raw next week. Umaga then came out to join Orton. Triple H followed out alone for the handicap match.
[Q9 -- over-run]
6 -- WWE champion RANDY ORTON & UMAGA vs. TRIPLE H
The bell sounded and Umaga wanted a piece of Hunter. Orton stood by as the two big men picked up their feud from last night. Orton got himself some when Hunter briefly took the advantage. They fought to the floor and Hunter played cat and mouse with Umaga. Suddenly, Umaga crashed into Orton on accident. The heels regrouped, though, and started stomping and pounding on Hunter. Suddenly, Shawn Michaels showed up and went after Orton to cause the match to be thrown out. He knocked him to the outside, then Hunter and Michaels dumped Umaga to the floor. Michaels and Hunter did crotch chops at the heels.
They cut backstage where Regal told McMahon that things didn't work out quite how he wanted it. McMahon smiled and said things haven't developed just yet. He then booked the one-night only return of DX next week on Raw. Regal said that was a great idea, then McMahon turned sour on him. He remained sour for several moments until they cut back to the ring where DX posed and stared down at Umaga and Orton.
WINNERS: No Contest in 4:00. Another short match on a weak night for wrestling. No one who's been watching Raw for the last few months expected Hunter to lose, but they couldn't have him win this one, so they went with a no contest. (3/4*)
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