By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER' S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
DECEMBER 21, 2007
TAPED 12/18 IN ROCHESTER, N.Y.

-The show opened with Teddy Long wheeling Vickie Guerrero to the ring in her wheel chair. Long, as usual lately, looked defeated. Clips aired of Edge's WWE Title win at Armageddon when two other Edges (The Major Brothers) showed up to distract and confuse his opponents. Long then introduced Vickie with zero enthusiasm. Vickie said it was her pleasure to introduce the to the love of her life, Edge. Long held up the title belt with the facial expression and body language of a secret service agent. JBL compared them to Bill and Hillary Clinton. Long presented Edge the belt.

Edge said there were so many people to thank. He said he wanted to start with Teddy. He said he's settled in nicely on his new job "and it suits you well." He thanked his fans, "the Edge-heads." He said he wanted to thank two in particular. He asked, "How many of us emulate our heroes, be it Labron James or the Canadian prime minister." That was funny. He then introduced the Major Brothers. They came out dressed as Edge. Edge said they saw the greatness in him and attached themselves to it, "and who can blame them." He asked them to reveal who they really. One of the said he is Curt Hawkins. He said he enjoys listening to music and warm walks on the beach. The other said he is Zach Rider. He said he likes to hike with his family and cuddle with his girlfriend. Edge said, "That's super." Who says "super"? Edge does.

Edge then kneeled and thanked Vickie from bringing him back from the brink of retirement. He then threw to a video of Edge working out to cheesy music as Vickie stood by and tapped his forehead with a towel to wipe his brawl. Then they showed them picnicking afterward. Edge pushed her in a swing, then they teeter-tottered. They carved their initials into a wood post. Then they moved to dinner and wine and Edge presenting Vickie with a necklace. Then they made out in a gazebo. That was really funny.

Edge said he wanted to also thank Batista, the man he'll be defending his title against. He said he did a great job "filling in" as champion when he was injured. "I'm back now. You don't need to worry about carrying this show anymore. That's my job." He promised the fans the last image they will see is him holding the belt over his head.

-Michael Cole and JBL hyped the Batista vs. Edge match and two marquee tag matches. They went back to Edge at ringside chewing out Long for how he was helping Vickie back into her wheelchair. Edge was great throughout the entire segment. Just tone-perfect for his character. Long is really good as the reluctant assistant. I don't get what the Major Brothers thing was all about, though, with the new names and dating classified cliches.

[Commercial Break]

-Cole said he can't believe JBL is breaking up their partnership to go to Raw. They plugged his Farewell Address. JBL said Raw is going to get a farewell gift. Cole asked, "What does Smackdown get?" JBL said he'd find out.

1 -- FINLAY & HORNSWOGGLE vs. THE GREAT KHALI & RUNJIN SINGH

During ring intros, JBL took a series of digs at Cole when Cole said JBL would miss him. "I once had the flu. I got over it and I missed it. You miss things in different ways." Runjin mistakenly got tagged in when he high-fived Khali. As he protested, Hornswoggle yanked his pants down, then laughed. Finlay tossed a distracted Khali over the top rope, then chased Runjin. He then threw a bucket of confetti at him and bashed him with the bucket over the head. Then he pulled out an umbrella to take cover for Finlay throwing a bucket of water all over him. Cole laughed uproariously along with ten year olds across the country. Finlay swung Runjin inside the ring by his legs, then Hornswoggle gave him a big splash.

WINNERS: Hornswoggle & Finlay in 4:00.

-Cole plugged Ric Flair was returning next.

[Commercial Break]

-Next Friday features the Greatest Matches of 2007 on Smackdown.

-Ric Flair walked out in a suit to his intro music. He wished the fans a Merry Christmas. He said it may be the last time he has a chance to say that from a WWE ring. He said he hasn't been on Smackdown in a while. He said he thanked the guys in back for respecting him the way they have since the day he met them. He talked about his 35 year legacy trying to show everyone that he was the very best in the business. He restated McMahon's declaration that when he loses, is career ends. He said it's been a hell of a ride and all he ever dreamed of. He said on Raw a week from Monday, he'll be wrestling the greatest wrestler alive. He said he's saying it because it's a fact, not because he's a friend. He said the irony is that he's told a hundred people if he had his last match, who'd he want it again, it'd be against Triple H. He said on a personal note, five years ago he returned to WWE and "wasn't at himself, if you know what that means." No, we don't. He said Triple H gave him his confidence back. "He never let me forget that I have to be Ric Flair. God knows I love being Ric Flair, but the fact is, what makes him the best is that when we climbed into the ring Monday night at Raw, I know and he knows he will bring everything he has to beat me. There is no sympathy in wrestling. He's the man. There is no sympathy for Ric Flair. I don't want it." He said he wants Triple H to bring out the best in him because if he's at his very best, he's going to be very hard to beat. He said if he loses, he'll walk away, never to be seen again. He said that would be all right because he'd have lost to the best, and he'll have no regrets. A fine promo, but the missing element is Flair's anger at McMahon for putting him in such a position in the first place. I think fans want to see a more unhinged, less introspective and somber version of Flair, even in 2007. Kissing up to Triple H gets a old really quick, too.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- REY MYSTERIO & C.M. PUNK & KANE vs. BIG DADDY V & MARK HENRY & MVP

After a couple minutes of various match-ups, they cut to a break as Punk and MVP battled.

[Commercial Break]

After a few minutes, they went back to Punk and MVP. Daddy V pressed Punk and walked around the ring, then slammed him. Then MVP tagged back in and went after Punk, keeping him from tagging out. MVP tagged Henry in at 10:00. Punk finally hit MVP with an enzuigiri and hot-tagged Kane at 12:00. Kane beat up all three heels, then tagged in Rey. Rey hit MVP with a moonsault off the top rope for a two count. Rey charged at MVP for a 619, but Henry cut him off with a bit boot. Rey avoided a corner splash, then Punk entered and gave Henry a running knee to the jaw. He followed with a dive through the ropes onto MVP at ringside. Rey avoided a Henry charge, then gave him a 619. Kane chokeslammed Henry, then Rey splashed him for the win.

WINNERS: Rey & Punk & Kane in 15:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Basic stuff until a strong final two minutes of coordinated action leading to the finish.

-They went to clips of the Edge-Batista-Undertaker match at Unforgiven.

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR

[Commercial Break]

-JBL talked about his farewell ceremony later being all that matters tonight. He said he's been putting food on Cole's plate by announcing Smackdown next to him. Cole threw to a segment with Michelle McCool's date with Jamie Noble. JBL is trying to turn up the heelish jerkiness of his character now that he's shifting away from a co-host to a main event heel wrestler again.

-They went to an obviously fake restaurant with piano music added to make it seem like a classy place. It was far and away the worst set WWE ever designed for any skit in terms of being even cloes to believable. It was brighter than a library. Noble said his granny couldn't wait to meet her and wants to have her over for Christmas dinner. He asked her about her policy on kissing on the first date. She almost choked on her red wine. He ordered french onion soup, french fried onion rings, french fries, french dip, and then french vanilla. He asked what kind of French restaurant it was. He said the guy didn't realize he'd be speaking German right now if it wasn't for Uncle Sam bailing him out of Desert Storm. He recited other historical inaccuracies and made fun of French women growing their hair out. The server said it's an Itallian restaurant, not French, and they have pasta fare. Noble looked embarrassed, sat down, gulped down some wine, and then bragged about beating Chuck Palumbo three times. McCool said, "That's why I'm here." Noble wanted to impress her by pulling the table cloth out from under their plates. It didn't work out well. He called for the check.

-The Raw rebound aired.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- DEUCE (w/Domino & Cherry) vs. SANTA FESTUS (w/Jesse) - Santa Match

Both were dressed up as Santa. Cole said Festus must be the largest Santa of all time. Festus transformed when the bell rang, pulling his beard down and freaking out. A minute in, Domino clipped Festus from behind. When Domino stood on the top rope to interfere, Jesse shoved him to the floor. Festus then lifted and dropped Deuce face-first to the mat for the win.

WINNER: Festus in 3:00.

-Cole talked about JBL leaving Smackdown for Raw. JBL said, "I'm about to announce the biggest comeback since the resurrection."

[Commercial Break]

-JBL entered the ring. He said his comeback will make the comebacks of George Foreman, Muhammad Ali, Ben Hogan, and Michael Jordan pale in comparison to his. He said his comeback won't be on Smackdown. "Been there, done that," he said. Instead, he said he'd be moving to Raw because of what happened at Armageddon. They went to a clip of Jericho bumping JBL at ringside during his match against Randy Orton. He said, "You play with fire, you get burned." He said he should have apologized for inadvertently "touched greatness." Instead, he demanded him to appear on Raw. He told him he isn't very high on his priority list. He said he got fired and tried to make a career out of reality television and failed miserably, and he dared to call JBL irrelevant. He said he wasn't going to Raw to be "part of the roster" or do opening matches or a swan song, but instead do the only thing he knows to do - win championships. He said everyone on Raw will soon be blaming him for unleashing JBL once again. Good promo for JBL, setting his agenda as doing more than just making a brief out-of-retirement tour.

[Commercial Break]

-Maryse was shown decorating a tree. Is she someone's tax write-off?

-Tazz joined JBL at ringside. He said he's amped up to call the World Title match.

4 -- EDGE vs. BATISTA - World Hvt. Title match

A big negative about this show is that they didn't hype this World Title match with the tone a World Title match between two top tier players on national TV deserves. There was the Edge promo, but other than that and a few mentions, it didn't get built up. Batista came out first, then Edge. Vickie Guerrero walked out and told them to hold on just before the bell rang to start the match. She said it would be a three-on-one handicapped match. Edge applauded. Cole and Tazz wondered what was going on. Curt Hawkins and Zach Rider (the former Major Brothers) joined Edge. After a couple minutes of the heels taking turns beating on Batista, they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Batista continued to take a beating after the break. Cole called it impossible odds. Batista showed the first sign of a comeback at 8:00. Batista speared the various "Edges" around the ring, then powerslammed and pinned Zach. Batista was awarded the World Title and his music began to play. Vickie said she had an announcement to make. She said the only way he could win the title was to pin Edge himself. She demanded the match start over. Batista continued to dominate the match. He set up Edge for the Batista Bomb, but Hawkins attacked Batista with a chair to the leg from behind. The Edge Heads double-DDTed Batista onto a chair. Edge entered the ring with a chair. As the Edge Heads held Batista down, Edge bashed Batista in the head with a chair, conchairto style. Edge then joined Vickie on the stage and wished everyone a Merry Christmas.

WINNER: Edge & Edge Heads in 10:00 to retain the World Title.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- More storyline than match, with Batista taking a long beating and then the restart after his comeback.

FINAL THOUGHTS: One of the more going-through-the-motions Raw in a while. The Noble-McCool skit was a disappointment. The Edge-Batista match was a letdown overall, but the Edge Heads concept set in motion something useful for the Major Brothers to do. Not sure Edge needed anything like that, but we'll see where it goes and how far it goes before judging. There's potential there for some fun. JBL's promo was good. Nothing else stood out.

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