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By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
JANUARY 18, 2008
AIRED ON THE CW

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR

-The show opened, oddly, with highlights of last year's Royal Rumble featuring Undertaker eliminating Shawn Michaels. The went into the arena where the showed a wide angle of the big fist. Oh, how we'll miss thee mighty Smackdown fist. Undertaker's music played as Michael Cole introduced the show. Cole called Smackdown, "The home of the Dead Man." Coach said, regarding winning the Royal Rumble twice in a row: "It's not any easy thing to do, but if anyone can do it, he can." What a stellar start for Mr. Empty Analysis and Tired Cliches. Cole called Taker the favorite. He also said in nine nights, the most star-studded and spectacular Rumble ever would take place. Coach said, "It's like Christmas. It only happens once a year." You couldn't hire a team of striking writers to create a more cliched, vacuous script for Coach to read. He just has nothing to say. He has no point of view to draw from, no special credentials to rest on, no wit to make up for it. This just doesn't appear to be his thing.

-Taker grabbed a mic and said it's not often he steps out and puts a mic up to his mouth. He said on most occasions he just doesn't have that much to say. He said he doesn't talk about taking souls, he just does it. (Pause for cheers.) He said in nine days he'll step into the ring at the Rumble - the same Rumble that he won last year. Same, except with a lot of different wrestlers and different city and different year. He said he was there to issue a warning to the 29 other men who will step into the ring with him. He said to them, listen carefully. "If you stand before me, you fall before me," he said. "If you enter that ring, you will rest in peace."

Big Daddy V and Matt Striker stepped out onto the stage. Striker said there's one big difference between last year's and this year's Rumble - a big difference, that being Big Daddy V. He asked him how he plans to move that man over the top rope and onto the floor. As Taker shot him a look, Striker told him to keep staring at him and trying to scare him, but Daddy V will dominate 29 other superstars at the Rumble at their way to the championship at WrestleMania 24. Daddy V approached Taker. They fought at ringside. Taker reversed Daddy V into the steel steps. Striker backed down, at the urging of Striker. 

-They showed Cole and Coach at ringside. They talked about the Chavo-Rey-Edge storyline from last week with Vickie Guerrero. A video package aired with clips from last week focused on Rey telling Vickie that Edge doesn't really love her and Chavo, just a few days before headlining as a heel against C.M. Punk on ECW and siding with top heel Edge in a two-on-one against the top ECW babyface, telling Vickie it's disgusting that she's involved with Edge and that she's disgracing the family. Storyboard that.

-Cole plugged the Rey & Punk vs. Edge & Chavo tag mach scheduled for later. Not the most logical follow-up tag match to book based on the video package that just aired. Chavo said, and I quote, "How can you sit there, Vickie, and call yourself a Guerrero, when every other member of the Guerrero family is disgusted by what you're doing."
[Commercial Break]

-Cole plugged Batista vs. Mark Henry. Cole said two animals would be colliding in that match. Also, MVP interviewing Ric Flair on the VIP Lounge.

1 -- THE GREAT KHALI (w/Runjin Singh) vs. FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle)

During Khali's ring intro, they aired clips of the Khali-Hornswoggle fight on Raw with Finlay coming to his rescue. As the match was about to begin, Hornswoggle beat up Singh at ringside, then ran fro him. Singh ran right into Finlay's chest at ringside. They immediately cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Khali battered Finlay to the mat after the break. Coach said guys are getting into the mode of knowing it's just about themselves at the Rumble and "they'll be primed mentally and physically for the Royal Rumble match." Finlay fought back, but Khali dropped him with a hard chop to the chest. Coach slipped in a plug for HD, saying you'll be able to see the pain much better. As Khali applied a nerve hold, Coach said, "Great Khali has by leaps and bounds improved, and when you couple how physical he is with in-ring ability, who's going to stop this guy." At 7:00, Khali set up a chokeslam. Hornswoggle distracted the ref and Finlay low-blowed Khali, then hit a shoulder tackle off the second rope. When he reached for his shillelagh, Singh threw it away from him. Hornswoggle hit him with another stick. Finlay rolled Hornswoggle into the ring and dropped him onto Singh on the mat. Coach said, "Hornswoggle may be small in stature, but he's not small in weight." Khali grabbed Finlay and slammed him hard to the mat, then applied the Khali Vice Grip. Coach said: "This could be it." Yes, it could be. And it was.

WINNER: Khali in 9:00 via ref stoppage.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Enough distractions to keep things somewhat interesting.

-Edge flirtatiously chatted with Vickie backstage. He told her he would always be there for her. She said, "That is so sweet." She said she admires how he stood up for her last week. She reminded Edge that she thinks he'll be a great father-figure, and fathers are heroes. Edge asked if she meant it. She leaned in for a kiss. Teddy Long interrupted and asked if they remembered he was standing there. Vickie sent him to get them some food and make himself useful. Chavo walked into the room. He said regarding what he said last week about how the Guerreros feel about their relationship. He said they've decided that she should have the right to move on. He told Edge he's a pretty good guy. He proposed he three of them become one big, happy family. Vickie held the hands of Edge and Chavo and said that's what she hoped for. Edge smiled.

[Commercial Break]

-Coach said after what happened at Raw, "It could be Jeff (Hardy)'s night at the Royal Rumble." The Raw Rebound aired. Cole updated that Randy Orton spent the night in the hospital while boasting that Hardy left the hospital that night without even being evaluated.

2 -- SHANNON MOORE & JIMMY WANG YANG vs. DEUCE & DOMINO (w/Cherry)

Coach said regarding WWE Magazine, "It's new and improved and you never know what you're going to read in there." He just keeps topping himself. Moore sold for a few minutes, then hot-tagged Yang who went on a flurry of offense. Deuce broke up a pin attempt by Wang on Domino. Moore re-entered the ring and knocked Deuce out of it. Cherry distracted Wang, but Wang fired back with a moonsault press of the second rope for the win. Yang and Moore danced in celebration. Coach said it's just a matter of time before they become tag champions.

WINNERS: Yang & Moore in 5:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

-Vince complained to Finlay for calling him liar on Raw when he denied that he sent Khali to the ring. He said he owed him an apology. Finlay agreed. Vince accepted, then proposed Finlay vs. Khali in a rematch next week in a "Belfast Brawl" match.

-They showed Batista heading toward the entrance tunnel.

[Commercial Break]

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR

3 -- BATISTA vs. MARK HENRY

Batista flexed his wellness policy tested massive muscles during his ring intro while standing on the second rope. They aired a clip from the Rumble 2005 of Batista eliminating John Cena to win. After Henry escaped a side headlock by Batista early, they exchanged heated words. They brawled to ringside where Henry headbutted Batista, then sent him into the ringside steps. Henry went for a splash in the corner, but Batista lifted a knee. Batista hit a spear and scored a two count, then hit another spear, shook he top rope, and set up a Batista Bomb. Henry backdropped out of it and went for a splash. Batista moved and spinebustered Henry for the win.

WINNER: Batista in 5:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Suitable action given the two in the match. Clunky, but watchable.

-They went to a clip of Punk vs. Chavo from ECW earlier in the week with Edge interfering. Then they plugged the scheduled tag team main event.

[Commercial Break]

-MVP introduced The VIP Lounge and his guest, Ric Flair. Flair and MVP looked each other up and down, then Flair thanked him for the introduction. He said nobody in the arena or anywhere doesn't know who he is. MVP told him to settle down. Flair said, "When I hear the words VIP Lounge, I want to dance all night. Whoo! I was tearing up VIP Lounges before you were born." MVP said in nine days his career will be over. Flair said he doesn't think he has what it takes to beat him. MVP said June 24, 2007 in Houston at Vengeance, he beat him and he will do it again at the Rumble. Flair interrupted and said he may be half man, half amazing, but he's "the man." He listed Harley Race, Dusty Rhodes, Ricky Steamboat, Buddy Rogers, The Rock, Austin, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Undertaker. He said the loss to him is a blemish on his career he has to correct. He said he may be proud of his resume, but he can't lace the boots of the men he just listed. MVP said when he retires him, it will be the greatest day of his life and the last day of his career. Flair said, "I like you. I like the look. You remind me a lot of a guy named Ric Flair when he was younger, when he was boisterous. But then I look at you and say you ain't nothing like Ric Flair." MVP interrupted and said he's better. Flair said, "Then why wait until the Royal Rumble." He pulled off his jacket. MVP said they're going to save it for the Rumble under the bright lights in New York City, the center of the media universe, not waste it in Birmingham. MVP recited Flair's "jet-flyin'" line, and said he'd meet, "The half-man, half-amazing, corn-row wearing, savoir fairein', jaw-droppin', bottle-topin', modern-day mac." He added, "The whole world will know when he beats him that the Greatest of All Time isn't better than me." Flair picked up his jacket, then launched a chop into MVP's chest, sending him flying over the couch. Coach said Flair just gave MVP added incentive to retire him. Coach said, "Flair better come ready to play at the Royal Rumble" Really fun segment . That had to be a real thrill for MVP. It was a sample of Flair in a role he's comfortable with and that suits him - talking big and reminiscing about his partying clubbing days.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- LAYLA vs. MICHELLE MCCOOL

Coach and Cole speculated on the divas in high-def. Michelle kicked Layla in the face, then lifted and dropped her front-first onto the mat in a new finisher for the win.

WINNER: McCool in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Basic stuff. Okay.

[Commercial Break]

-Backstage, Jamie Noble approached McCool backstage. He said she looked great out there. A backstage worker pointed out that the flowers on a table near here were delivered for her. She began thanking Jamie, but Chuck Palumbo stepped in and said he actually ordered them. He said he feels bad about how he's been acting and said they're best friends and he doesn't want to lose her. Noble stepped in and asked if he really think roses will make up for he did to her last week. They argued and McCool stepped between them. She said they were both being sweet to her and asked them to get along. Noble said for her, he would. Palumbo also agreed, saying he's cool, anything for her.

-Coach and Cole ran down the Rumble line-up.

-As Rey headed toward the entrance, Vickie wished him luck. He shook his head and said he couldn't believe her.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- EDGE & CHAVO GUERRERO vs. REY MYSTERIO & C.M. PUNK

Rey set up a 619 at 2:00, but Edge ducked out of the way. Punk knocked him to the floor. Rey and Punk dove next to one another through the ropes onto Edge and Chavo at ringside. They celebrated in the ring as they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Soon after returning, Chavo had Punk down on the mat with an armbar. Coach actually used the term "kisser" when describing a knee by Punk to Edge's mouth. That should disqualify him from ever speaking again. Punk leapfrogged a charging Edge and then crawled over to hot-tag Rey. He did just as Edge tagged Chavo. Rey went on a high-energy attack against Chavo. Rey also knocked Edge off the ring apron during his flurry. Rey hit Chavo with the 619 at 10:00, but then Edge nailed Rey with a chair to the back, prompting the ref to call for the bell.

WINNERS: Rey & Punk via DQ in 11:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Good tag action. A nice chance for Punk to play on the bigger stage with top stars like Rey and Edge. He fit in just fine, but didn't come across as having great star power, either.

-Edge and Chavo worked together to take Rey and Punk down. They embraced and furthered their alliance. At least they explained the transformation from last week's Smackdown to ECW in terms of the Chavo-Edge relationship by firmly establishing their alliance and acknowledging it was newly formed and Chavo hadn't endorsed or trusted Edge until this week.

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