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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

ECW TV Super Tuesday Report
February 5, 2008 in Corpus Christi, Tex.
Year 2, Week 35 (Week 87 overall) on Sci-Fi

In-ring: They opened with C.M. Punk coming to the ring dressed in street clothes. No fake moustache this week, unfortunately. Punk took the mic and recapped last week's fiesta for Chavo Guerrero and his own subsequent party-crashing. After the video aired, Punk had a good laugh and pantomimed wearing a fake 'stache. He then got serious and said he wants his title re-match right here, tonight. Chavo came out on stage and showed off the ECW Title belt around his waist. He then slowly made his way to the ring and said that was really that Punk dressed up as a Crazy Mariachi to crash his party. Punk laughed and said that's a good one to use for what C.M. stands for. Chavo cut him off and said Punk won't get his re-match until the No Way Out PPV. He said he doesn't like being embarrassed, so he's going to embarrass Punk tonight.

Chavo then introduced a good friend of his, GM Armando Estrada. On the video screen, they went to an exterior shot of Armando standing outside the arena on the shores of the Gulf of Mexico. He booked the first-ever Gulf of Mexico match where Extreme Rules apply. Armando said the only way to win is to throw your opponent into the cesspool known as the Gulf of Mexico. (That probably applies more to the brown waters in Galveston.) Armando laughed, then they showed some dudes fishing in the water. Back in the ring, Chavo closed with a corny line about making Punk drown in his own tears at the PPV, but making him drown tonight.

Video promo: Before going to a break, they aired a video package on the matches for next week's Raw.

[Commercial Break]

The Mean Girls walked to the ring ready for a divas tag match. Kelly Kelly came out, followed by Michelle McCool as her tag partner.

[Q2]

1 -- VICTORIA & LAYLA (w/Lena) vs. KELLY KELLY & MICHELLE McCOOL

Tazz made an astute observation that it's the blondes vs. brunettes. Team Blondes started things off on the offensive, working over Layla. Kelly hit an OK cartwheel before tagging out to Michelle. After some more tags, Lena tripped Kelly from the outside. Victoria took advantage by nailing the Widow's Peak on Kelly for the pin and the win.

WINNERS: Mean Girls in 3:00. Another loss for Kelly, who is slowly becoming the female Teflon. She seems to lose every week, but still gets a strong reaction the following week. (1/2*)

Broadcast position: Styles and Tazz discussed the Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin opener last week. They talked about Shelton bailing from the match and getting counted out, so this Friday on Smackdown, it's Shelton vs. Kane. Styles and Tazz then plugged the Gulf of Mexico match for tonight. Tazz asked if there are any sharks in the Gulf. Why, yes there are. Read all about them.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: John Morrison came out to the ring with The Miz, who was dressed for a night at the club ... in the Arctic. Miz apparently missed the memo about the 80 degree summer weather here in Texas. They went to a video package on the tag champs taking apart Colin Delaney last week before Tommy Dreamer made the save for Colin. So, what was originally booked as a tag match after last week's show is now a singles match. Tommy Dreamer then came out to the ring to face Morrison. Colin slowly limped along behind Dreamer and surveyed the crowd.

2 -- TOMMY DREAMER (w/Colin Delaney) vs. JOHN MORRISON (w/The Miz)

The storyline is that Dreamer enjoys and gets off on pain, so he's teaching young Colin some fundamentals on how to continue taking a beating. Suddenly, there was a cold war on the outside when Dreamer was knocked to the outside and Miz came over to stare down Colin, who simply held his body in pain. Back in the ring, Morrison went up top for a corkscrew moonsault, but Dreamer moved just in time. Dreamer made his comeback with an inside-out clothesline, before hanging Morrison upside down in the corner. Dreamer went for a running dropkick, but Miz hopped on the apron and distracted Dreamer. Colin then tried to yank Miz off the apron, but Miz kicked him into the guardrail. The scene was enough of a distraction for Morrison to catch Dreamer off guard with his swinging neckbreaker for the win. Afterward, Colin and Dreamer checked on each other on the floor.

WINNER: Morrison in 4:00. Eh. They limited Colin's greatness this week, and the match was so-so. (3/4*)

[Q3]

Video: They went to an interview from earlier in the day when Joey Styles sat down with Stevie Richards. They showed footage from May 1997 when Richards had a guardrail dropped on the back of his head by Terry Funk that gave him his first serious throat injury. Richards said he has had nine surgeries since that time, and next week he'll return to the ring. He said he keeps coming back because he loves to compete. Richards, with tears welling up in his eyes, said next week is the first step toward showing everyone that he is ready.

[Commercial Break]

Video: They aired a promo for the Steve Austin DVD. They included some clips of the early WWE days, WCW (with hair), and ECW.

In-ring: Kofi Kingston came to the ring to face another enhancement talent. Kofi was all-smiles until the bell sounded.

3 -- KOFI KINGSTON vs. JAMES CURTIS

Kofi went into his unique fighting stance, but Curtis didn't want any part of the smile and lock-up. They went into a mat-based exchange of arm bars. Eventually, Kofi made a comeback when the fans became restless and he nailed a roundhouse martial arts kick to the face for the win.

WINNER: Kingston in 3:00. There's just something off three weeks into Kofi's run. He comes to the ring looking pretty cool in the jacket and track pants, but when he gets into his ring gear, he can't pull off the combo of trunks and kick/knee pads. With all the smiles and odd ring gear, it reminds me of when The Rock debuted as Rocky Maivia and the fans eventually turned on him. (3/4*)

[Q4]

Video: They went to another exterior shot of the Gulf of Mexico where the dudes were still fishing.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Justin Roberts was in the ring to introduce the stipulations where the only way to win is throw your opponent into the Gulf. C.M. Punk came out to the ring first dressed for a street fight, followed by Chavo, who was also dressed for a street fight.

4 -- C.M. PUNK vs. ECW champion CHAVO GUERRERO -- non-title -- Extreme Rules -- Gulf of Mexico match

With both men in loose-fitting blue jeans and black t-shirts, it looked like a fight during recess at the local high school. They quickly fought to the outside where Chavo rammed Punk back-first into the guardrail. They brawled into the stands and among the people. They brawled toward the back entrance of the lower level of seats, then down a hallway in the locker room. They lost track of the action momentarily, so they went to a general wide shot of the crowd. The cameras found them brawling backstage and they fought out of the building to the plaza outside. Suddenly, a car pulled up and the driver honked the horn, so Chavo threw Punk onto the hood of the car, breaking the glass. Punk then smashed Chavo with a kick to the face that knocked Chavo backwards, KO'ing the cameraman. Cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q5 -- over-run]

The announcers were silent here. After the break, Punk was on the offensive throwing haymakers. He then picked up Chavo and threw him onto the hood of a randomly-placed SUV. Is this a WWE video game match? Punk then back dropped Chavo onto the hood of the SUV. The wind was whipping really strong here. Reminds me of the drive back home last night. They battled over the guardrail leading to the edge of the pier. Chavo then jumped off the guardrail and kicked Punk while he was down. The dudes fishing just kept fishing. Chavo screamed at Punk that he has to earn a re-match.

Suddenly, the dudes fishing got up and left. Chavo ran over to the edge of the pier and grabbed an ice chest, which he chucked into Punk's stomach. They teased some spots into the water, but Punk held onto the edge of the pier. Chavo kicked him again, then drove a boot into Punk's head. Chavo went for a suplex into the water, but Punk blocked and gave him the Go 2 Sleep right into the water to win the match. Chavo made big splashing motions in green water and Punk was announced the winner. Chavo kept splashing around while asking for help, but Punk simply raised his arms in victory.

WINNER: Punk in 11:00. Interesting match that will probably be duplicated by every 11-year-old kid on his brother after the show. So much for "don't try this at home". It did make for decent TV. At the end of the day, Punk scores another moral victory over Chavo to keep the chase going for the Title. (n/a)

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