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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
February 21, 2008
Taped Feb. 12 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

The show opened with a video package recapping everything that happened last week. Tonight, it's "Alligator Honeymoon".

Backstage: Karen and Kurt were back to arguing with each other about the A.J. Styles deal last week. Kurt told Karen to take care of this tonight. Borash tried to interject, but Kurt told him he'd knock him out if he opens his mouth again. Kurt said he doesn't want the boys in the back laughing about him. Karen screamed that it's always about you. "WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE ABOUT US?!?!?!?!" Karen asked. Kurt told her to take her drama somewhere else, preferably to her other husband. Karen screamed back that she's going to take her drama to someone who appreciates her. Ah, my head hurts already.

Announcers: We get another sit-down interview this week. This time, Tenay sits down with Rhino "like you've never seen him before". West quickly plugged Angle vs. Booker tonight.

In-ring: They're opening with a tag title match. Kip James and Bullet Bob Armstrong came out with B.G. James on crutches. The tag champs, Styles & Tomko, came out next to defend the belts. Styles was all-smiles today, while Tomko simply shrugged his shoulders and laughed at how ridiculous Styles is with his crown.

1 -- TNA tag champions A.J. STYLES & Tomko vs. KIP JAMES & BULLET BOB ARMSTRONG (w/B.G. James)

Styles was dominated in the early going. Tenay and West rattled off all of tonight's storylines, including posing the question of who KO'ed Christian last week. Styles and Tomko then hit a double combo on Kip with a pele kick and clothesline, respectively. Karen Angle came to ringside at 2:00 clapping it up for Styles. The fans then caught onto a, "Karen Styles" chant as Karen and A.J. smiled at each other. Bullet Bob took a tag at 3:00, then ducked a high-low and the champs crashed into each other. Of course, Karen got on the apron to distract the ref, then Kip took the crutch and KO'ed Bullet Bob. Tomko then covered Bob for the win. After the match, B.G. hobbled into the ring, then Kip kicked the other crutch out from under him and broke the crutch across B.G.'s back. Kip snarled to the camera. And cut.

WINNERS: Tomko & Styles in 3:00 to retain TNA Tag Titles. Just another TNA formula match, this time with female interference and a back-stab. (1/2*)

Backstage: Crystal tried to make peace between Gail Kim and ODB in an interview. Gail said they had some communication issues, but they're on the same page tonight. Gail said they have a common goal of taking out Amazing Kong. ODB said she will go through anybody to get to Kong. ... Suddenly, Karen and Styles walked onto the interview set and Karen gushed about Styles. Crystal asked about the kiss last week. Styles played it down and said he got caught up in the moment, but they're not married or anything. Karen tried to convince him that they are married. Styles was concerned about Kurt's feelings on this. Karen seductively told him that she would worry about the legal issues, and Styles just needs to worry about honeymoon. Styles then snapped to attention and said he had a call to make.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

Video replay: Tenay broke down Kip's turn on B.G. James to the tone of a plug for Witless Protection.

Backstage: Crystal tried to interview Kip about turning on B.G., but Kip screamed at her that he just got rid of a 250-pound sack of s---. Kip said he hates everyone, but he was tight with B.G. until B.G. chose to end their friendship for nothing. He said he hopes B.G. brings it all when he decides to challenge him.

In-ring: Jim Cornette was in the ring with Matt Morgan, Sonjay Dutt, Sabin, and Shelley for a special interview segment. Jay Lethal was brought out for a little bit of special recognition. Cornette recapped Lethal's last two years in TNA, including taking Jarrett to the limit and defeating Kurt Angle for the X Division Title last year. Cornette said Lethal saved the X Division at the last PPV, so for that, everyone thanks him for that. Lethal gushed, then took the mic from Cornette. Lethal said he got his smile back at Against All Odds. I think he's doing a normal voice without the Savageisms. He said he couldn't do it alone, so he thanked the founders of the X Division - Christopher Daniels, Jerry Lynn, and A.J. Styles. He said there are two more people to thank: Sabin and Shelley, who did the gracious babyface routine. Lethal cut a passionate promo about them doing what was right at the PPV to help him save the X Division. He said it's a privilege to stand in the ring with his best friend, Sonjay Dutt. Lethal thanked him, then they shared a hug.

Lethal said there's someone else he wants to thank - someone who has inspired him with just one look. Lethal brought in So Cal Val to share in his moment. Val blushed from her ringside position and Lethal brought her into the ring. He said he's so nervous right now. Lethal said he wants to ask her a question. Val started to cry as Lethal got down on one knee to propose ... "Will you go out with me?" The crowd got a chuckle out of that. Val paused to milk the moment, then said, "Oooh yeah." Dutt wasn't too happy about the developments as Lethal and Val shared a hug. So, Dutt is Styles. Lethal is Angle. Val is Karen. Got it.

Backstage: Kaz talked about his feud with Relish in the past, then Eric Young interrupted and said he's afraid of the real-life monster Rellik. Kaz slapped him to calm him down, but Young said he's trying to save his life. Kaz tried to de-monster-fy him and say he's just another wrestler. A man of flesh and bones. Kaz told Young to calm down, but Young couldn't be calmed.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

Announcers: West quickly plugged Angle vs. Booker tonight, as if it's a nothing match. He then plugged the March house shows.

Backstage: Jim Cornette sat down with Samoa Joe in his office to discuss contract negotiations in his private quarters. Cornette said the door is locked and there are no interruptions to be expected. He just needs Joe's signature. Joe stared at the contract and didn't sign, though. He said that over the course of the negotiations, the issue has nothing to do with money. Joe said he wants to be TNA champ, but let's face it, that title shot doesn't mean anything unless he gets a fair shot. He said that he'll never get that fair title shot as long as the Angle Alliance is around. Joe said he wants a tag match at the March PPV, then he can then affix his signature to the contract and win the title at Lockdown. Joe stormed off. So, what just happened? Is the tag match signed? Can Joe make matches?

In-ring: Rellik came to the ring for a match against Kaz.

2 -- RELLIK vs. KAZ

The story early on was Kaz being unable to affect Rellik with clubbing blows, so he knocked him to the outside. Kaz went for a splash into the guardrail, but Rellik got a boot up to smash Kaz in the face. Back in the ring, Kaz applied a Cobra Clutch, but Kaz broke free. Tenay and West talked about the Styles-Karen honeymoon, which Borash will document tonight. Suddenly, Kaz reversed Rellik's momentum on the Cobra and bridged Rellik into a pin for the win.

After the inconsequential match, Black Reign hit the ring and jumped Kaz. He gave him a spin-out slam before Rellik gave Kaz an inside-out clothesline. Reign choked Kaz, then Eric Young's music played. He started to walk toward the ring, but he stopped short in fear of the monsters. Reign and Rellik left the ring, then Young hit the ring once they were gone.

WINNER: Kaz in 3:00. Post-match took precedent over another short TV match. Just storyline developments, and the in-ring action was of no consequence. (1/2*)

Backstage: Crystal interviewed Booker T about concentrating on Kurt Angle tonight. Booker said his first title victory came when Rick Martel forgot his boots and he had to step in and win the TV Title. Booker said he's going to do Angle like he's supposed to be done. He said he's going to make Angle bow down and say daddy don't want none. Booker said Roode isn't here tonight, but Roode will eventually get his. Booker is always good for a solid promo when one is needed.

[Commercial Break]

Video: They plugged the Elevation X match at the Destination X PPV on March 9. ... Another video aired, this one about Abyss getting off on pain and torturing himself. They recapped the barbed wire match between Abyss and Judas Mesias at the Against All Odds PPV. Now, Abyss can move forward with his life. They suggested there is more to this man than the man who lives inside.

Announcers: Tenay and West debated why Abyss walked out of the Impact Zone last week. No one even knows where Abyss is. Tenay then plugged his sit-down interview Rhino later in the show.

[Q4]

In-ring: Sonjay Dutt came out for a #1 contender match to the X Division Title. Johnny Devine and Petey Williams rounded out the field. Wait, doesn't Steiner have the #1 contender briefcase? Did I miss a chapter in the story?

3 -- SONJAY DUTT vs. JOHNNY DEVINE vs. -- #1 Contender match to the X Division Title

Less than 20 seconds into the match, Steiner and his freak came out on the entrance ramp. Devine was on the floor, so he backed toward the ring when he was intimidated by Steiner and Rocka Kahn. Back in the ring, Devine snapped off a suplex on Dutt for a nearfall. Devine then suplexed Petey onto Dutt and covered Dutt for another nearfall. Suddenly, Dutt made a super-fast recovery and dropped Devine with a huracanrana. The action broke down. On the floor, Steiner with a briefcase onto Dutt. Kahn distracted the ref, allowing Steiner to smash Devine, then Petey rolled up Devine for the win. So, now Petey is #1 Contender even though Steiner has the briefcase. Afterward, Tenay said Petey gets the title shot at Destination X. Steiner went for a handshake, and Petey reluctantly shook his hand. They stood tall in the ring.

WINNER: Petey Williams in 3:00. Just another short TV match complete with interference to advance a storyline. (1/2*)

Video: They went to Borash's handheld video of the Styles and Karen honeymoon. They were in some sort of cafeteria/dining hall. Styles put a makeshift candle on the dining hall table and almost burned himself. Styles then pulled out some flowers, which Karen quickly pointed out were fake. Styles then gave her a snowglobe, which Styles said was really precious to him. He told a story about never having snow growing up in Georgia. Styles said that he prayed so hard for snow one Christmas Eve, but it didn't come. So, he turned around to find his grammy giving him snow via the snow globe. Styles said that as long as Karen has the snowglobe, she'll always have him. Aww, a hopeless romantic. Karen was gushing. Styles then snapped out of his romantic mood and said it's time to eat some grub.

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: Tenay said Rhino addressed everything earlier today. They went to the sit-down interview where Tenay asked Rhino where he went. Rhino said he had to get away from everything. He said he doesn't consider James Storm responsible for his own actions, but Storm contributed to his falling apart again. Tenay asked about Elevation X. Rhino said he's going to be afraid, but he has to block out the fear to get his revenge. He said sometimes you have to stand up and be a man. Rhino said Storm is going to fall, but he won't get up. Another heavily-edited TNA video that was rushed and didn't add anything to the same promo we saw months ago from Rhino before his previous comeback.

Backstage: Crystal brought in Curry Man and Shark Boy for an interview. Suddenly, Curry Man started dancing to his music, which led to Crystal busting a move. Curry Man cut off the music and cut a promo in Japanese. Shark Boy didn't understand anything, so he said Curry had just be ready to whip some ass tonight.

In-ring: Shark Boy came out for a tag match. Curry Man then came out and the guys in the truck went nuts on the graphics. They focused on some really bad dancing in the Impact Zone, then West said if you're not entertained by Curry and Shark, then you don't have a pulse. Then how am I writing this sentence? Huh, Don? How about that one? Team 3D then came out and Earl Hebner brought the scale into the ring. And let's cut to a break at the top of the hour.

[Q5 -- second-hour]

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Hebner surveyed the scale as Brother Ray did some deep-breathing exercises before stepping on the scale. Hebner looked at the scale and gave him a double thumbs up. Tenay and West suggested the scale was fixed this week. Devon then stepped on the scale and posed. Hebner gave him a double thumbs down. So, Devon had one too many protein shakes the past six days. Ray called him a fat bastard. He said he caught Devon eating the Twinkies, so he better cut it out.

4 -- BROTHER RAY (w/Brother Devon and Johnyn Devine) vs. SHARK BOY & CURRY MAN (Christopher Daniels) -- handicap match

Ray, trying to apologize to Devon for calling him fat, nearly got pinned in the opening seconds as Curry rolled him up from behind. Ray cut off Curry, though, and did the Worm to show how fit he is. Ray sent Curry to the outside and Devon landed right hand blows to the forehead behind the ref's back. Back in the ring, Ray applied a body scissors on the mat. Ray continued to work over Curry, then Curry finally made the hot tag to Shark Boy. Shark landed the Thesz Press on Ray and dropped a running elbow for a nearfall. Shark with a neckbreaker, then Devine entered the ring, so Curry took him out. Devon tried to use the scale, but Shark Boy gave him a Stunner. The misdirection allowed Ray to smash Shark with the scale once the ref reprimanded Devon. Ray played dead, then came to life and pinned Shark Boy for the win.

WINNER: Brother Ray in 3:00. Another short TV match with interference. At least there wasn't female interference in this one. (1/2*)

Backstage: Crystal interviewed Kurt Angle, who said he doesn't care about A.J. and Karen right now. He said his focus is always on the TNA Title staying around his waist. Kurt said that if Booker thinks he can come into his house and defeat him, then he's sadly mistaken. Kurt said that after he breaks Booker's ankle, it's off to Destination X against the three stooges. Who are the three stooges? Seriously, what is the match? Is anything official? Didn't Joe just suggest something, but Cornette didn't confirm anything?

[Commercial Break]

[Q6]

Video: They went back to Borash covering Styles and Karen's honeymoon. Karen was upset about Styles's idea of a honeymoon, which consisted of them going to a gator place. Styles took her into a gator wrestling pit, and he showed off a gator hiding in the water. Styles poked the gator with a rake, which freaked out Karen. Styles used his charm to help Karen warm up to the whole scenario. Styles talked about thousands of birds being around. So, off they went in search of birds. Tenay said Karen is warming up to Styles's boyhood innocence.

In-ring: Ms. Jackie came to the ring, then Roxxi LaVeaux came out as her tag partner. Tenay brought up the deal from a few weeks ago where Kip fired her from VKM, which has now disbanded. ODB came out, followed by Gail Kim for tag action.

5 -- GAIL KIM & ODB vs. MS. JACKIE MOORE & ROXXI LAVEAUX

Before the match, ODB offered Gail a shot from her flask, but Gail turned it down. More for ODB. The bell sounded and the fans chanted for ODB. Gail started things against Jackie, though, and fired away on Jackie with clotheslines and dropkicks. Roxxi and ODB took tags, then ODB slapped Roxxi across the chest. Roxxi ducked a chop, but walked into an overhead slam. Jackie then caught ODB from behind, leading to the heel divas ganging up on ODB in the ring. They cut to a break with Jackie working over ODB.

[Commercial Break]

Roxxi was working on ODB out of the break. Tenay said we'll hear from Christian later in the show. The ref then disallowed a tag from Gail when he didn't see it, so they went back to work on ODB. Gail eventually took a legit tag at 7:00 and cleaned house. She tossed Jackie across the ring with a running arm drag off the corner ropes, then gave Roxxi a crossarmbreaker for a nearfall. The action broke down, then Gail accidentally gave ODB a missile dropkick. Suddenly, Roxxi gave Gail an overhead slam for the win.

Afterward, ODB and Gail had a shoving match. Things got heated and a catfight broke out in the ring until refs and security hit the ring to break them up. They had a pretty good pullapart brawl that got the crowd into the segment. Suddenly, ODB was on the floor, then Gail came off the top with a splash onto ODB and some security peeps. The fight continued on the floor as they battled onto the ramp.

WINNERS: Roxxi & Jackie in 9:00. See, that's using a match to effectively advance a storyline of gradual dissension between Gail and ODB. Nice action and progression during the match and after the match. Top segment of the show thus far. (*1/2)

[Q7]

Backstage: Crystal finally explained what the main event match is at the PPV. It's Joe & Nash & Christian vs. Angle & Styles & Tomko. Well, that took six quarter hours. Crystal brought in the babyface trio for an interview. Christian cut the first promo about wanting to be on their side, as unlikely as it is. Christian said Styles and Tomko were like family and he always had their best interest in mind, but they threw it all away. Christian said he can't figure out why these things are going on to him. He said at the end of the day, no matter how much he kept them in the spotlight, they were never going to be as good as him, the champ. Christian said at Destination X, three guys without much in common will end the Angle Alliance. It's the Unlikely Alliance vs. the Angle Alliance. Christian walked off, leaving Nash and Joe standing there.

[Commercial Break]

Video: They picked up phase 3 of Styles and Karen on their honeymoon. Styles led Karen to a hotel room door, then said he's kind of confused about the whole thing. Styles said that if Karen were his wife, every day would be a honeymoon. Styles told her goodnight, then gave her a kiss. Styles nervously went into his hotel room and left Karen in the hallway. Karen was a bit flustered and Borash asked if she's OK. Tenay said Karen has fallen for Styles.

Video package: They showed footage from after the show last week when Kurt Angle knocked out the preacher and Borash. ... In-ring: Kurt Angle came to the ring for the main event. Booker T then came out to face Angle. Tenay said it's Booker vs. Roode one-on-one at the PPV. He said this will be therapeutic for Booker to take his mind off Roode and just wrestle.

6 -- TNA World champion KURT ANGLE vs. BOOKER T -- non-title match

The story opened with Booker dominating Angle on the mat. They went to a lock up and Booker drove Angle to the corner with a hammerlock. Booker came back with a clothesline taking Angle over the top rope to the floor.

[Q8]

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Booker ripping off a round of chops on Angle on the floor. West said this match might not be for the title, but you know it will be one day. Back in the ring, Angle took offensive control with a suplex for a nearfall. Booker came back with a suplex of his own at 9:00, then he sat down on Angle's shoulder with a hard yank. Angle escaped and snapped off a textbook belly-to-belly suplex that just looks so smooth. At 10:00, Angle went to the mat with a rear waistlock. He then slipped Booker to the floor to take a breather. Back on the floor, Angle sent Booker into the ring steps. Time for another break.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Booker executing a superplex from the top turnbuckle. They each took a breath, then came to their feet and exchanged blows. Booker landed a flying forearm, then a snap suplex, and sidewalk slam. Angle then ran into a spinebuster, which Tenay called a concussive move. C'mon. Angle suddenly went for the Anklelock, but Booker slipped out and nailed a leaping kick. He called for the finish, but Robert Roode showed up on the apron and Booker tried to attack him. That served as a distraction allowing Angle to catch him from behind with the Olympic Slam for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Angle in 16:00. About 10 minutes aired with the two commercial breaks in the middle of the match. Tough to evaluate a match under those circumstances, but what we saw was good TV action. Not surprising to see interference in the match, though, as it follows every other TNA match that ends with interference or a swerve or a miscommunication. Booker has slowly been brought down to everyone else's level so he's not above any of the other perceived main eventers. Everyone is just right there at the same level so no one stands out. (**1/4)

After the match, Angle and Roode stomped away on Booker, who took a beating. Suddenly, Christian Cage stormed the ring and tried to make the save for Booker, but the heels quickly ganged up on him. Samoa Joe then stormed the ring to make the official save, while Kevin Nash eased himself into the ring ever so gingerly. Tomko came down to stand next to Angle, then Nash took a mic. He said he wants Angle one-on-one next week. "Oh my God! Angle vs. Nash next week on Impact," Don West screamed to close the show. That sell job would be more effective if West didn't scream through every other sales pitch on the show.

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