TV Reports
3/20 TNA IMPACT: Parks's Ongoing Alt. Perspective Coverage of the Show
Mar 20, 2008 - 10:02:00 PM |
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By Greg Parks, PWTorch Contributor
Hey all! I’ll be filling in for Daniel Wilkenfeld this week, who is out of town. Word of warning: I generally catch about 5-10 minutes of Impact each week, but at least read the reports online. So you’ll be getting impressions from someone with fresh eyes tonight. (Cheap plug: Catch my real-time Smackdown report tomorrow night and every Friday night as well!)
-TNA open.
-Jeremy Borash was outside Jim Cornette’s office, and he plugged Lockdown in four weeks. He also said Kurt Angle would have his first public workout in the ring tonight. AJ Styles has a special guest and there will be a Knockouts match. Christian Cage walked out of Cornette’s office, followed closely by The Mouth himself. He said Rhino would take on Tomko tonight.
-Impact open.
-Mike Tenay plugged the match just announced, as well as Angle’s workout.
-Booker T came out, all smiles and dressed to the nines. There was a table in the ring, as it was apparently set up to welcome Sharmell “home.” Booker referred to her as his queen. He brought her out, and she carried a strap in her hand. There was a “welcome back” chant for Sharmell. Booker said he’d never put Sharmell in harm’s way again. They embraced to the cheers of the fans. Robert Roode and Peyton Banks interrupted the festivities. Roode assured that Sharmell wouldn’t be in harm’s way, at least tonight. Then Jim Cornette and Matt Morgan came out. He called Peyton “Piggy” Banks. A small chant of that name started up. Cornette said he’s tried to be fair throughout his tenure. He mentioned Sharmell whipping just about everyone (including himself) at Destination X. Surprisingly, Cornette DIDN’T like it. He said Booker would face Roode in the Six Sides of Steel at Lockdown. Oops, spoke to soon....it’s a tag match with Roode & Banks against Booker & Sharmell. Cornette scurried out before Booker could attack him. He knocked over the table in the ring in anger. Cornette was upset at that, so he put Booker in a match tonight with AJ Styles.
-Crystal was backstage with Crown Prince AJ Styles. He was going nuts at the prospect of having to face Booker tonight. Crystal asked him who the special guest was. Before he could spill his guts, Team 3D and Johnny Devine interrupted. Ray told AJ they’d be his partners at Lethal Lockdown, as apparently Tomko asked them. Ray said they’d turn into a well-oiled machine and fight as one. He said they’d destroy Christian and Kevin Nash. Ray said he and Devon would be watching, then looked into the camera and told Booker, “beware.”
-Next, Steiner and Petey Williams face Eric Young and Kaz.
[Commercial Break]
-Tenay sent it backstage to JB, who was with Kaz and “Super” Eric Young. Young was just “regular” Eric Young during the interview. How many alter-egos can you have in one company? Young said he felt better knowing “he” was in the building.
1- SCOTT STEINER & PETEY WILLIAMS vs. KAZ & ERIC YOUNG
They showed highlights of Steiner “hazing” Petey last week. Also included were clips of Steiner shoving Petey’s head into a bucket of water from TNA Today. On his way to the ring, Young felled down after the pyro went off and scared him. Kaz got a quick roll-up on Petey for two, then an arm-drag variation. They traded arm-drags and Kaz got two on a Magistra Cradle. Young tagged in and went to work on the arm of Petey. Young did the Flair Flip corner sell but pretty much no-sold it on the apron. Steiner demanded Petey tag him after Young got a bit too much offense in for his liking. Scotty got some offense in until Eric Young ducked and went out of the ring. That brought Kaz in (no tags?) and Steiner stayed on offense, including a belly-to-belly suplex. Clothesline by Steiner, followed by the flexing elbowdrop. Petey tagged back in and he hit a Codebreaker-like maneuver for two. Kaz hit a seated dropkick and both men were down. Both men made tags and Young went to work on both men. DVD by Young on Petey got a near-fall when Poppa Pump broke it up. Petey came in and set Kaz up for a Canadian Destroyer, but Kaz countered with a reverse piledriver. Young went to the top as Rellik and Black Reign came out of the locker room. “Evil always triumphs” said Reign on the mic. That distracted Young and Steiner hit a back suplex off the top for the victory.
WINNERS: Steiner & Williams, at 5:26.
-After the match, Steiner, still upset with Petey, handcuffed him at ringside once again. Tenay was already plugging the TNA website to find out what happens to Petey. He also, for the first time, plugged the live Impact next week.
-Next, Rhino faces Tomko.
[Commercial Break]
-Earlier today, Mike Tenay conducted a sit-down interview with Christian and Rhino, with Rhino being there at Christian’s request. Tenay threatened Cage that if he embarrassed Rhino in any way, this would be the last time he’d be on the interview set. Christian talked about doing what he had to do to advance his career and how he always considered Rhino a friend, even through the tough times. Christian said he needed Rhino to be a part of Team Cage. Rhino said Christian hurt his family and friends as well as him. Rhino told an anecdote about his daughter crying over watching “uncle” Christian bloodying Rhino. Rhino said he doesn’t care what Christian does to him, but rather, he cares when he hurts people close to him. Good promo from Rhino, but I don’t know if putting the emphasis on his daughter is the right move here.
2- TOMKO vs. RHINO
Rhino hit a series of right hands on Tomko and was all offense early on. Tomko came back with a hard Irish whip. Big boot from Tomko after Rhino attempted a comeback. Rhino clotheslined Tomko over the top rope, and like WWE, decided this was a good time for a break.
[Commercial Break]
Flying clothesline from Rhino and Tomko looks winded. Belly-to-belly from the War Machine. He set up for the Gore, but AJ Styles knocked him in the head as referee Earl Hebner was checking on Tomko. Styles hid at ringside while Tomko clotheslined Rhino and pinned him.
WINNER: Tomko, at 6:10. A clothesline finisher?
-Earl Hebner found Styles at ringside and demanded to know what was going on. Styles, of course, pleaded ignorance. Tomko and Styles proceeded to beat down Rhino when Christian came out and helped his former buddy. Rhino and Cage cleared the ring of Tomko and Styles. Christian helped Rhino up, but Rhino shoved him off. Christian extended his hand and after a brief hesitation, Rhino shook it. Good moment, but I feel like they could’ve extended the tease of whether Rhino would join Christian for a few weeks. As Christian and Rhino turned their attention to Tomko and Styles heading up the ramp, Team 3D came out and beat up Christian and Rhino. That ended when Kevin Nash cleared the ring with a chair. Jim Cornette came out and decreed that Team 3D would face Rhino and Christian tonight. Are they going to somehow dissolve Rhino & Christian already?
[Commercial Break]
-We got updated on the continued courtship of Black Machismo and SoCal Val. Earlier in the week, they were at a seafood restaurant and Lethal told Val to order whatever she wanted. He looked at the menu and said things were a bit pricey. Lethal asked for a kid’s menu, as prices were too high for him. They held hands and Lethal said there was something he wanted to ask. Sonjay Dutt, as the waiter, brought out their waters. He said he works there when he’s not wrestling. He complimented Val and ignored Lethal. To be continued....
3- SONJAY DUTT vs. HOMICIDE- X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH QUALIFIER
Dutt hit an arm-drag and immediately went over to Val to gloat about his prowess. Flying back-elbow from Homicide. T-Bone suplex into a pinning combination for two by Homicide. Dutt’s sideburns are out of control. Sonjay tried a springboard, but slipped on the top rope and grabbed his knee. Val showed concern at ringside. He refused to quit though. Dutt took a step forward to lock up and his knee buckled. Homicide implored referee Slick Johnson to ring the bell. Homicide went over to Dutt, but Sonjay rolled him up for three.
WINNER: Dutt, at 2:20. I thought the win was a bit undersold by Tenay & West. Dutt, with a ton of bacne, hugged Homicide and Hernandez after the match. Hernandez wasn’t happy and did his Border Toss on Dutt.
-Booker and Sharmell were backstage with Crystal. Booker said he was so made, he couldn’t think straight. Booker said he’d mess Roode up if he even thought about putting his hands on Sharmell. He said tonight, it’s all business with Styles. That match is next.
[Commercial Break]
-TNA Rough Cut showed more from Kip and BG James. BG thought “The James Gang” was forced. Kip said he tried to get BG to go to the gym, but BG said he had things going on that took precedence. BG said he thought their relationship was better than ever back then. Kip said he was tired of carrying “Brian” and that he did about 60% of the work. I’m not sure TNA would miss these guys if they disappeared.
-Clips of earlier tonight, Christian saving Rhino from a post-match beat-down.
4- AJ STYLES vs. BOOKER T
AJ got the mic and introduced his special guest. He told people to stand and introduced his own personal princess, Karen Angle. Does she really count as a special guest when she’s bee on TV for months? Booker started with high intensity, going right after Styles, pounding him in the corner and then bodyslamming him. Karen sat behind the railing at ringside. AJ came back with some chops, but missed a corner splash. Superkick for a two-count by Booker. Robert Roode came out to the top of the ramp and jawed with Booker. Booker missed a side-kick, and AJ got a kick right to the head. Don West sounds a bit raspy, but it’s nothing like Darrell Waltrip last Sunday during the Nascar race. Break time.
[Commercial Break]
Booker was dazed outside the ring as Styles came over the top with a cross body. During the break, Jim Cornette and Matt Morgan coaxed Roode back to the locker room. Sidekick by Booker, followed by a snap suplex. He missed the axe kick, and Styles hit a Pele kick. Peyton Banks came to ringside to attack Sharmell, but Sharmell had the strap and beat Peyton with it. They looked like two old ladies, one hitting the other with her pocketbook. It was pretty brutal to watch. Back in the ring (oh by the way...), Booker rolled up Styles for the three-count.
WINNER: Booker, at 9:14. Styles looked to ringside, and Karen Angle was gone.
[Commercial Break]
-Crystal was standing by with Awesome Kong and Raesha Saed. Saed read a message from Kong. She called Gail Kim and ODB swine and said Kong would destroy everything and anything in her path. Is there any background as to why they’re putting a Middle Eastern (Muslim?) character with Kong?
5- ANGELINA LOVE & VELVET SKY vs. ODB & GAIL KIM
We got clips of what happened last week in regards to both teams. ODB and Love started things off. Tenay mentioned, for only the second time tonight, next week’s first live Impact. Both girls went down and both nipped up at the same time. So why does ODB keep patting her boobs? Sky tagged in, and was taken down with a drop-toe hold. Kim came in and hit a nice European uppercut. I think there were some “Gail Kim sucks” chants. The blondes tried some double-teaming, but it didn’t faze Kim. Crossbody off the second rope, but Kim didn’t go for the pin. Arm-drag by Kim. She tried to run the ropes, but Sky kneed her in the back. That allowed Love to get a kick to the face. Double-team elbowdrop and Sky got a two-count. Facebuster out of the corner from Sky. Snap-mare and a seated dropkick by Love & Sky. Blocked kick by Kim, followed by a clothesline. Both ladies were down and Love was able to make the tag first, but Kim eventually tagged ODB. She cleaned house. Faceplant on Velvet Sky for what looked like a three, but apparently Love got enough of ODB to break it up. Sky hit a jaw-breaker on ODB, but she caught Sky on a cross-body attempt and hit a running powerslam for the win.
WINNERS: Kim & ODB, at 5:22. I actually thought they gave the blondes too much offense.
-Tenay plugged the fan voting to see who will face Kong for the title next week. Roxxi Laveaux came out and chased Love & Sky off after the match. Giving her a make-over is one of the best ideas TNA has had in a while.
-JB was backstage with Kurt Angle. Borash said it was nice to see Karen & AJ out there, but Kurt grabbed him and yelled at him. Kurt then addressed Samoa Joe and said he wants to run him out of TNA. He said he’s never been more focused in his life. Kurt said he was going to punish four human beings in the ring tonight.
-Still to come, Team 3D faces Christian & Rhino. But next, it’s Kurt’s public sparring session.
[Commercial Break]
-In a pre-produced video, MMA fighter Marcus Davis talked about training with Samoa Joe. They also had comments from the editor of Real-Fighter Magazine. Davis said the match will be a clash of styles.
-Kurt Angle came out for his sparring session. Efram Sims was his first partner, and he wrestled at Savannah State, so says The Professor. Referee Rudy Charles had a whistle. A side-choke caused Sims to tap less than a minute in. John Davis was next. He trains in MMA at a Jacksonville fight school. This guy did a little better, but after a single-leg take-down, he tapped to a heel-hook. Frank Ciazo was next, a Golden Gloves boxing competitor from Brooklyn. Another plug for the biggest Impact in TNA history next week. Guillotine choke on Ciazo, who tapped quickly. Cory Chavous, wrestler and martial artist, looked hesitant to get in. I’m sure he’s no relation to the football player/draft expert of the same name. Angle headbutted him to start things off, then went on the attack until Rudy Charles pulled him off. Kurt got on the mic and said all Samoa Joe’s training won’t matter. I liked this segment; didn’t outstay its welcome as it could’ve been another Piper’s Family segment. Kurt looked impressive.
-JB was backstage with Team Tomko. Tomko said his team is standing strong, while Christian’s is in shambles. He told Cage that at Lockdown, he was going to break him. Devon said Cage’s team doesn’t have a chance. “Beat us if you can, survive if we let you!” said Devon. Hmmm...that sounds familiar.
-Next, Team 3D face Christian & Rhino.
[Commercial Break]
-A video package traced the history of Christian Cage and Rhino, including some home video footage fo their early days. Good move, but it may have been a tad over-dramatic.
6- TEAM 3D vs. RHINO & CHRISTIAN CAGE
Highlights of Team 3D’s attack on Joel Anderson last week aired during the intros. Rhino tagged himself in before Christian even locked up with Devon. Rhino and Christian worked well early on. Christian nailed Bubba, then hit Devon with a back elbow coming off the top rope for a two-count. Johnny Devine, who was at ringside, tripped up Christian, which allowed Devon to take over. Rhino chased Devine right into a Bubba clothesline. That took us into break.
[Commercial Break]
The show returned in time to see Bubba throw Christian shoulder-first into the ringpost. Tenay announced that Kurt Angle was so happy with how his sparring session went tonight, he’ll do it again next week: with Tomko and AJ Styles as opponents. Christian was able to roll Devon up for two. Inverted DDT by Cage, who struggled to make the tag to Rhino. Rhino met Bubba, who also tagged in, with some right hands. Back-body drop on Devon, then a double-clothesline. Spinebuster on Bubba. Devon broke up the pin. Tenay also said that as Karen was leaving the Impact Zone, she requested a sit-down interview with Mike Tenay next week to discuss her husband. Chaos was taking over as Christian and Rhino worked together. After Christian jumped outside onto Johnny Devine, Rhino gored Bubba. As the ref was counting the pin, Tomko pulled him out of the ring, drawing the DQ.
Team Tomko came out and beat up Cage & Rhino. Kevin Nash came out to defend his team. He did at first, but Tomko’s team went after his knees and that was it for him. Shark Boy and Curry Man, who Devon and Bubba made fun of in their interview earlier, entered the ring to help out. They weren’t much help, so the Motor City Machine Guns entered the arena to try to assist Team Cage. They did well at first, but in the end, Team Tomko stood tall together in the ring while everyone else was laid out. I had flashbacks to the NWO. As they stood in the ring with arms raised, the lights went out and Sting’s music and video played. Somehow, Tenay & West immediately said this meant Sting would appear on the show next week.
WINNERS: Rhino & Cage by DQ, at 8:38.
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