By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S ECW ON SCI-FI REPORT
MARCH 25, 2008
FAYETTEVILLE, NC.

-Joey Styles introduced the show and hyped the opening match as "perhaps the biggest tag team match we've ever seen." It's a 24 man tag team.

1 -- CHUCK PALUMBO & MARK HENRY & LANCE CADE & TREVOR MURDOCH & THE GREAT KHALI & THE MIZ & DEUCE & DOMINO & JAMIE NOBLE & SNITSKY & ELIJAH BURKE & MATT STRIKER vs. KOFI KINGSTON & HARDCORE HOLLY & CODY RHODES & KANE & JESSE & FESTUS & HACKSAW DUGGAN & TOMMY DREAMER & VAL VENIS & BRIAN KENDRICK & SHANNON MOORE & JIMMY WANG YANG

They only aired a few ring intros: Holly & Rhodes, Kingston, and Kane. The rest were already standing on the ring apron ready for the match to start. After a series of dives by the babyfaces onto the heels on the floor at 3:00, they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Kofi dove off the top rope onto Deuce and Domino in center-ring. Holly then chopped and pounded Miz. Chaos continued on the outside with a variety of wrestlers as Festus tagged in and smooshed Miz wiht a sit-splash. Khali entered and punched Festus. Kane made the save and punched Khali to the floor, then chokeslammed Striker. Kane gave Henry a big boot to the face, then Snitsky gave Kane a blindside boot. He celebrted in the ring, but when he turned and charged Dreamer, Dreamer moved. Henry entered and threw Dreamer into Snitsky's boot for the win. When Snitsky scored the pin, the ring announcer for the first time I can ever remember used shorthand for the winning team, stating, "The winner… Snitsky and his team!" Good judgment.

WINNERS: The heels in 10:00.

STAR RATING: * -- Obviously non-stop action that had no opportunity to turn into an actual match, but not boring. Fine at getting across how many will be in the battle royal to earn an ECW Title shot at WrestleMania. The downside is there just wasn't time to really delve on commentary into the various possibilities of who will get that title shot against Chavo Guerrero.

[Commercial Break]

-Chavo Guerrero approached Tommy Dreamer backstage to rib him about how he couldn't even wait until WrestleMania to lose to all of those guys. He told him to talk to his boy Colin Delaney about what it's like to be in the ring against the champ. Dreamer said the odds of him winning the battle royal are slim, so he's challenging Chavo to a match tonight. Chavo said it'd be non-title. Dreamer said that'd be fine. Chavo asked why bother. Dreamer said a win over the ECW Champ would mean a lot and he just doesn't like him. Chavo responded, "Well, stand in line." When Colin tried to talk, Chavo snapped at him to "shut up!" Dreamer stepped in and protested he won't wrestle him, but he took on Colin after just a couple months in the business. He said Colin has more guts in his little finger than Chavo does in his entire body. Chavo said, "Consider it done." He said this is the closest he'll get to the ECW Title ever again.

2 -- CARLITO vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN -- Money in the Bank Preview

Styles said he doesn't think Shelton's amateur background as a two-time all-American in both track and wrestling prepares him to climb a ladder. Yeah, that's probably true. After some early action, Carlito settled into a three minute chinlock. Shelton broke free, but Carlito followed up with another chinlock, this shorter in duration. They must have been a long span of time to fill. At 6:00 Carlito hit a springboard dropkick on Shelton leading to a two count. Carlito sold the kick out like he was surprised, which really made no sense because there's no reason a wrestler would have reason to think that would actually finish off someone of Shelton's level. Carlito hit a neckbreaker for another two, then settled into yet another chinlock. Shelton blocked the back-stabber, but when he dove at Carlito, Carlito caught him and turned it into a backbreaker. "What a match, baby!" said Tazz. Carlito climbed to the top rope. Shelton met him at the time and drove Carlito to the mat with Pay Dirt for the win.

WINNER: Shelton Benjamin in 11:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4 -- There were some cool spots, but it never had a flow. The early chinlocks were really a drag. Even the highspots just weren't in the context of anything that felt like a real struggle to win, but instead were a series of sequences that felt choreographed. This was a display of why management has hesitated to push either of these guys in a money position. There's just a few things that don't click on a "main eventer" level. Little things like Carlito overreacting to a kickout by Shelton after a mere dropkick is one of those areas where the tone just seemed out of step with a more polished ring general.

[Commercial Break]

-A video aired on John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Randy Orton. Then Tazz and Styles ran down the line-up WrestleMania XXIV. Styles asked, "Will Big Show end Floyd Mayweather's boxing career on Sunday?"

-They went to the final Hall of Fame induction announcement - Gordon Solie. Some really good vintage footage followed dating back to the early-'60s.

-They showed Stevie Richards and Kelly Kelly warming up backstage for their mixed tag match.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- KELLY KELLY & STEVIE RICHARDS vs. LAYLA & MIKE KNOX

Knox kicked Kelly coming off the ropes at 2:00. Layla went for a pin, but Kelly kicked out. She also threw a fit, as if that was enough to score a pin. What's with everyone tonight overestimating the impact of one basic move? She yanked on Kelly's kair afterward. Richards got the crowd to clap for Kelly. Kelly kicked Layla and hot-tagged Stevie. Knox also hot-tagged in. Stevie gave Knox a boot and went for a pin. Layla broke up the pin. Kelly speared her out of the ring and then took it to the floor. Stevie went for a monkey flip, but Knox blocked it and corkscrewed Stevie face-first to the mat for the win.

WINNERS: Knox & Layla in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Decent while it lasted.

-A video aired on Mayweather.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- CHAVO GUERRERO vs. TOMMY DREAMER

The ring was surrounded by the 24 wrestlers who were scheduled to participate in the WrestleMania battle royal. With this match not starting until four minutes after the top of the hour, it was pretty predictable it wasn't going to last long. It didn't. Chavo did find time for a brief headlock in the three minute match, with fans chanting "Chavo sucks" for a few seconds. Dreamer reversed Chavo into the corner and gave him a running bulldog and a clothesline. Dreamer then set Chavo upside down in the corner and gave Chavo a running basement dropkick. Styles wondered what kind of condition Chavo would be in on Sunday. Apparently pretty good as Chavo held onto the top rope to avoid a Dreamer DDT and then got his mojo back immediately, waiting for Dreamer to get up When Dreamer did, he surprised Chavo with a neckbreaker. When Dreamer went to the top rope, Chavo knocked him off balance and to the mat. Chavo followed with a top rope frog splash of his own and scored the pin.

WINNER: Chavo in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* - Short, but fine.

-Afterward, as Chavo held his ECW Title belt in the air. Everyone at ringside charged into the ring for a 10 second brawl as they went off the air.

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