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KELLER'S ECW ON SCI-FI REPORT
APRIL 1, 2008
AIRED ON SCI-FI NETWORK

-The show opened with extended footage from WrestleMania including Kane squashing ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero with a single chokeslam for a record fast victory.

-Kane walked out to the ring wearing his ECW Title. He actually looked genuinely proud, and as if he expected fans to be proud of him. I didn't expect that. He stood mid-ring and said at WrestleMania he had the luxury and satisfaction of unleashing his violence on 23 other men. He said he earned the right to face Chavo for the title. He said later that night when he finally faced Chavo, he decimated him in a mere eight seconds to win the ECW Title. He said ECW has had some of the most exciting, spectacular, and brutal moments in sports entertainment. Uh, the words "ECW" and "sports entertainment" in the same sentence is a bit of an oxymoron. He said, "You haven't seen anything yet. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha." C.M. Punk walked out with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Joey Styles explained the MITB rules and wondered aloud if Punk was going to cash in the briefcase.

Kane told Punk if he was going to cash in the briefcase now, he won't have a good night. Punk said Kane is a little bit jealous because while he won a chance at a title, Kane won a title. Punk added, though, that he can cash it in for a title shot anytime. He said it could be next year or next week or even right now. Chavo's music played and he stepped out onto the stage. He told Kane what happened 48 hours earlier was a fluke. Punk said that must be a record, then gave him a hard time. Chavo mock laughed. Chavo said he did something that no one else had to do - he had to be prepared for 24 different opponents. He said Kane also attacked him from behind because he knows he can't beat him face-to-face. Chavo said next time he'll be ready for his little game. He said then again all of the fans will be proud to call him their ECW Champion. He said in the mean time, tonight, those two are going to be in a match together. He said he talked to Armando Estrada, and they'll be partners, not opponents. He said they'll be facing him and a partner who has unfinished business with Punk, Shelton Benjamin.

Shelton walked out onto the stage. He asked Punk if he was feeling lucky. He said the only reason he's standing there with that briefcase is because two other men were tipping him over when he was standing at the top of the ladder, and "if a 20 foot drop wasn't enough, trying going through a ladder on the way down." (Shelton's fall was one of the most talked about incidents at the PPV from everyone I talked to in WWE last week.) He said Punk will find out why Shelton is the "Gold Standard." Punk said he looks forward to finding that out. He called him Goldy Locks. He said he can call himself any snazzy nickname he wants except for "Money in the Bank." Punk held up his briefcase. Punk is one of those guys who Vince and Steph may never fully "get," but he's always going to have a bond with fans that's hard to explain. There's an everyman quality with a cockiness that makes him seem like a leader. It's also what makes fans feel betrayed when he turns against them, which is inevitable in his WWE stint.

[Commercial Break]

-A WrestleMania music video aired on the bigger matches on the show hyping the encore presentations on PPV.

1 -- STEVIE RICHARDS vs. MIKE KNOX

Before the mach began, they showed clips of Knox beating up Richards backstage three weeks ago, then Richards jumping him from behind two weeks ago. Styles said, "Stevie can give as good as he gets." Richards knocked Knox out of the ring with an early enzuigiri. Richards leaped off the ring apron toward Knox, but Knox caught him with an elbow. Tazz said Knox is a real throwback. He said his bearhug reminded him of Ivan Koloff. Richards made a comeback and hit a series of roundhouse kicks. Knox finished Richards with his corkscrew face plant.

WINNER: Knox in 3:00.

-Styles and Tazz were shown on camera. They threw to a highlight package from the Hall of Fame ceremony.

[Commercial Break]

-Tazz interviewed Colin Delaney in mid-ring. Tazz asked him what it was like to be part of WrestleMania weekend. Colin said for once he didn't get beat up, but that's because he didn't get a match. He said next week he hopes to be there because he earned a match and s under contract and didn't have to buy a ticket like this year. Armando Estrada walked out. He said he had great news for him. He said he's shown him how badly he wants to become a WWE superstar. He offered him his first official contract. Colin celebrated. Estrada said there is one thing he forgot to mention: "April Fools!" Delaney hung his head in sorrow. Estrada told him all he has to do is defeat The Big Show to earn his contract. As Show walked out, Styles said it took champion fighter Floyd Mayweather seven cornermen, a chair, and brass knuckles to beat Big Show.

2 -- BIG SHOW vs. COLIN DELANEY

Colin tried to slowly walk out of the ring. Show blocked him several times, then somewhat sympathetically put him in a cobra clutch. The ref promptly called for the bell. Show spun him around and let him go.

WINNER: Big Show in 0:12 - I thought Show was going to voluntarily step out of the ring to get counted out as a way of gifting Colin a WWE contract. That would have been truly swell of him.

[Commercial Break]

-Styles and Tazz plugged WWE.com's WrestleMania features. Then they threw to a video package on Ric Flair's weekend through his Raw retirement. Styles called him the greatest wrestler ever.

3 -- CHAVO GUERRERO & SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. C.M. PUNK & KANE

After Punk and Shelton began the match, Kane tagged in and hit Shelton with a basement dropkick. Chavo tagged in and caught Kane with a boot on a charge, then tagged out quickly to Shelton. Kane tossed Shelton over the top rope, then backdropped Chavo over the top rope. With both heels on the floor, they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Kane was on offense against Shelton after the break. Tazz defended Chavo's loss, saying he did have to prepare for 24 possible opponents. At 10:00 Punk went for a GTS, but Chavo held onto the top rope. Chavo made a comeback and tagged in Shelton at 12:00. "Shelton's beating Punk like Punk owes him money," said Tazz. (Note to Self: Never loan Tazz money.) Punk finally hot-tagged Kane at 14:00. He went to work Shelton with a legdrop and a beating in the corner. Kane caught a charging Chavo with a boot as he set up a chokeslam on Shelton. Shelton escaped. Kane gave him another big boot. Kane climbed to the top rope. Chavo charged into the ring and knocked him off balance. Punk lifted Shelton and gave him a GTS for the win. Punk and Kane stood next to each other to celebrate, Kane holding up his belt and Punk holding up his briefcase.

WINNERS: Punk & Kane in 16:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Solid tag match. Not spectacular, but workmanlike solid. This has been Punk's week, huh? He gets a win in a tag match with Kane, extended promo time, and a WrestleMania victory in a high-profile annual concept match given to emerging stars.

FINAL NOTES: Good show. Too much WrestleMania recap. Really, anybody who's watching ECW has already seen Raw and the WrestleMania weekend highlights. An ECW show more densely packed with exclusively original material will actually have a chance to getting to that 2.0 rating mark again. It's not going to happen as long as people have to sit through 30 minutes of recaps to get to 20 minutes of original material. The opening segment on this show did a good job setting up Kane as a proud new champ, Punk as a major player coming out of WM24, and Chavo as a former champ who had an excuse for his loss and motivation to regain his stature and belt.

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