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CALDWELL'S WWE RAW REPORT 4/21: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of three-hour live Raw
Apr 21, 2008 - 10:05:32 PM |
By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
WWE Raw Live Report
April 21, 2008
Greenville, S.C.
The show started with Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler plugging a big eight-man tag match tonight, and the messages from Clinton, Obama, and McCain. WWE also presents their own version of Clinton vs. Obama. Oh yeah, and a King of the Ring tournament.
In-ring: Lillian Garcia announced the first two participants for the Tournament. Chris Jericho is the first man out. Ross said they're finding out along with the viewing public on who is in the tournament. Jericho's opponent... MVP.
1 -- IC champion CHRIS JERICHO vs. U.S. champion MVP -- KOTR 1st Round match
MVP started things off on the offensive after settling into an abdominal stretch on the mat. Jericho then ducked a clothesline and nailed a Northern Lights suplex for a nearfall. They had a series of pin exchanges before MVP nailed the Chono boot for a close call. MVP warmed up for another boot to the head, but Jericho popped to his feet and nailed a clothesline. Jericho then countered the Playmaker right into the Walls of Jericho in center ring. MVP fought the hold for a few seconds before tapping out.
WINNER: Jericho via submission in 6:00. Fine opening match. Competitive, although a bit sluggish at times. Good start to the show. (*1/4)
Backstage: They showed C.M. Punk warming up backstage. Ross asked whether he's competing in the tournament.
[Commercial Break]
[Q2]
In-ring: C.M. Punk came to the ring with his MITB briefcase and prepared to face... Matt Hardy. Now that's a match-up.
2 -- C.M. PUNK vs. MATT HARDY -- KOTR 1st Round match
Ross and Lawler emphasized the storyline surprise factor tonight, with the eight men in the tournament unaware of their first round opponents tonight. Punk took control in the opening minutes and Ross talked him up as an MMA aficionado. Hardy fought off Punk from the corner with a headbutt, then Hardy landed a double axehandle blow from the second rope. Punk came right back with the corner knee smash and running bulldog for a nearfall. Punk tried to come off the ropes with a springboard dive, but Hardy caught him in mid-air with a side effect for a close nearfall.
Hardy tried the Twist of Fate, but Punk countered into a G2S attempt. Hardy slipped out, though, and Punk blocked a sunset flip into a nice pin, trapping Hardy's legs to the move to score a three count. Hardy simply shot Punk a frustrated look afterward. Punk sat on the throne, then they showed the top-half of the bracket with Jericho vs. Punk in the semi-finals.
WINNER: Punk in 4:00. Good flurry at the end of the match. Short, but that's the way these first round matches are probably going to go. (*1/4)
Announcers: Ross and Lawler talked up the Clinton vs. Obama confrontation "in the ring" later tonight.
[Commercial Break]
Video game: The announcers did a voice-over for video game clips of Obama vs. Hillary. They gave Obama the Batista machine gun entrance. Hillary came out to the divas music looking rather spry. During the "match", Hillary busted out the chokeslam, but nothing was settled. They had a Stalemate!
Announcers: Ross and Lawler talked about last week's main event of Triple H vs. JBL until Randy Orton interfered. Ross then announced the Backlash four-way title match will be an elimination match now. Final wrestler left will be WWE champion.
Backstage: JBL cut a promo from backstage in front of a dark curtain. JBL said Backlash will be the coronation of JBL as WWE champion. He held up the New York Times business page where his energy drink company got some pub. JBL said the torch he passed comes home on Sunday.
[Q3]
In-ring: Great Khali came out as the fifth entrant in the KOTR tournament. Wonderful. Khali didn't even bother coming to the ring, instead, he walked over to the KOTR throne and surveyed whether the seat would contain his large frame. He sat down as they cut to break.
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Khali found his way to the ring during the break. Finlay came out with Hornswoggle as the opponent tonight.
3 -- GREAT KHALI vs. FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) -- KOTR 1st Round match
Hornswoggle tried to interfere during the match, but Khali shoved him away. Khali then wrapped Finlay's leg around the ringpost and kept smashing the knee, drawing a DQ from ref Charles Robinson.
Post-match: Big Show came out to the ring and walked with a purpose toward Khali. He approached Khali, who was standing next to the announce table, but Khali walked to the other side of the ringside area. Show slipped into the ring and told Khali to get in the ring, but Khali shook his head and pointed at Show.
WINNER: Finlay via DQ in 2:00. Finlay will certainly be at a disadvantage in the second round. This was just about promoting Khali vs. Show at Backlash. (1/2*)
[Commercial Break]
[Q4]
In-ring: Finlay was still being helped to the back after the previous match. Raw GM William Regal then came out as the seventh competitor. He stared down Finlay, who was on one leg being helped to the back. Lillian Garcia then announced Hornswoggle as the eight competitor. Hornswoggle shook his head, then Regal walked to the outside and dragged Hornswoggle into the ring.
4 -- WILLIAM REGAL vs. HORNSWOGGLE -- KOTR 1st Round match
The bell sounded and Regal charged Hornswoggle with a forearm blow. He then slapped on the Regal Stretch and forced a tap out in less than seconds. Post-match, Finlay tried to hobble into the ring to check on his son, who was in pain on the mat. Ross said if his bracketology is correct, Regal faces Finlay in the second round. Regal then kicked Finlay in the left knee where Khali softened him up. He left the ring while refs checked on Finlay.
WINNER: Regal in 0:10. Now I know why WWE didn't announce a bracket ahead of time. Because the bottom-half sucks. (n/a)
Backstage: They showed Shawn Michaels walking with a stern look on his face. He's going to confront Batista again.
[Commercial Break]
Video package: Santino Marella did a voice-over leading to a video package on WWE's European tour. They showed various women crying. They appeared to have a show in Spain inside a bullfighting arena/theater in the round. That is officially awesome.
In-ring: Shawn Michaels came to the ring. He said the last thing he expected to do after facing Ric Flair at WrestleMania would be to talk about facing one of Flair's close, personal friends at Backlash. Michaels said he knows Batista is here tonight, and he just has one question for him. After a lengthy pause, Batista's music hit and he walked out to the ring in jeans, a wifebeater tank top, and boots. No shades tonight. Michaels was puzzled by Batista's demeanor and/or wardrobe.
Once Batista finished posing, Michaels addressed him. He said Chris Jericho touched on something on Smackdown, but Batista didn't give him an answer. Michaels asked Batista if this is about Batista wanting to retire Flair at WrestleMania. Batista sarcastically asked if it would make Michaels feel better if he said yes. He said he won't let Michaels absolve himself of blame by going there. Batista said it's not about Ric anymore; it's about their personal deal now. Batista said he's tired of talking about it, so here's the bottom line: at Backlash, he's going to finish this. Michaels smirked and thanked him for his honesty. He said since they're being so honest, he has a confession to make. Michaels said he's everything Batista says he is. He said he's the main event, the Showstopper, and Mr. WrestleMania. "I am the man," he said. Small chorus of boos from the audience.
[Q5 -- second hour]
Michaels said Batista has a big title match on Smackdown this Friday, but before that, Batista needs to think about the guy he's facing at Backlash. He told Batista good luck because he's going to need it. Michaels extended his hand, then Batista shook. Michaels started to walk away, but Batista pulled him back and they had a close encounter. Michaels ripped his hand away, faked a superkick, Batista smiled, then Batista dropped his mic and approached Michaels. He brushed by Michaels before leaving to the ring apron to stare over Michaels's shoulder. Michaels turned around as Batista bounded down the steps to leave the ring. Batista = all smiles. Michaels = not happy. They had a distant stare down to close the segment.
Announcers: Ross plugged the eight-man tag match later tonight. Lawler plugged the presidential candidate messages up next. Hillary Clinton is first.
[Commercial Break]
Hillary Clinton pre-tape message: She said the WWE fans can call her Hill-Rod tonight. She said the Democratic primary is starting to feel like a Last Man Standing match, except a woman could be the last person standing. Clinton said this year is an important election year to get the country back on track. She said she's been knocked down, but always gotten back up. Hillary said she can deliver the People's Elbow if needed. Clinton told fans not to worry about her leaving the political arena, so Randy Orton is safe for now.
In-ring: World tag champs Holly & Rhodes came to the ring. Carlito then came out with Santino for a singles match against Holly.
5 -- HARDCORE HOLLY (w/Cody Rhodes) vs. CARLITO (w/Santino Marella)
Methodical (read: excruciatingly slow) start to the match. Carlito slapped on a surfboard stretch at 3:00, then Holly fought to his feet and accepted a series of forearms to the lower back. Carlito kept working the back to set up the backstabber, but Holly made a comeback with a dropkick. He went for the Alabama Slam, but Holly's back gave out on him. Carlito then nailed the backstabber for the pin and the win.
Post-match: Santino took the mic (yes!) and said Holly and his boy, who is a friend, which makes him a boyfriend, won't have the belts much longer. Holly's boyfriend ripped the mic away and asked Santino why he doesn't shut up. Santino kept talking, so Rhodes smashed the mic into Santino's head. The champs then dumped Santino and Carlito over the top rope to the floor.
WINNER: Carlito in 5:00. Ugh beginning. Fine ending after Carlito worked the back to set up the finish. Post-match was brief, but classic with Santino. Fine from Holly on the mic, although the lines were certainly scripted for the 6-12 year-old demo.
Backstage: They showed Jericho and Punk walking in preparation for their semi-final match.
[Q6]
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Triple H did a promo on the Backlash match standing in front of the dark curtain. Hunter said they can talk and talk, but it's all a bunch of words. Hunter said one man will emerge as the standard bearer and without a shadow of the doubt, the best of the best. Hunter said he believes with every bit of his being that he believes it will be him. He told the other three men it's up to them to prove him wrong.
6 -- IC champion CHRIS JERICHO vs. C.M. PUNK -- KOTR semi-final match
Jericho was the aggressor early, as he hung Punk out to dry across the top rope, then kicked Punk off the ropes when he went for a springboard move. Ross said they have not received an update on Finlay's health for his semi-final match. At 4:00, Jericho busted out a standing huracanrana. They went into a pin attempt exchange for a series of nearfalls until Jericho nailed an enziguiri kick for a nearfall to end the exchange. They had a deal where Jericho went for a lionsault, but Punk got his knees up, except the block was a little off. Jericho improvised and played it off like he avoided the knee block and slapped on the Walls of Jericho. Punk reached the ropes to break the hold, though. Jericho then tried to go up top, but Punk smashed him with an enziguiri kick. Jericho was hung on top of the turnbuckle, so Punk put him in fireman's carry position and nailed the G2S in center ring. Punk then dragged himself on top of Jericho for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Punk in 7:00 to advance to the finals. Good TV match with fast-paced action and a conclusive finish. It would be nice if there was a credible opponent on the other end of the bracket, as this felt like it should have been the finals. (**)
[Q7]
[Commercial Break]
ECW promo: Kane and Edge are doing something on the show tomorrow night. Hey Adamle, it's Edge, not The Edge.
Barack Obama pre-tape message: Obama said it's a historic time for America, and not just because the reign of Randy Orton is about to end. Obama with the obligatory KOTR reference. He said he's running for president to change status quo in Washington. He closed: "Do you smell what Barack is cooking?" Obama smiled to close the segment.
In-ring: William Regal came to the ring for his semi-final match. They recapped Finlay taking a beating earlier in the night. Finlay then hobbled to the ring with tape around his left knee without Hornswoggle's presence.
7 -- FINLAY vs. WILLIAM REGAL -- KOTR semi-final match
Regal went right after the knee, taking Finlay to the outside and smashing him knee-first into the ring steps. Back in the ring, Regal continued to work over the knee. Finlay came back with a Celtic Cross attempt, but Regal slipped out and accepted knee lifts from Finlay. Suddenly, Regal smashed Finlay with a running knee lift to the face. He then applied the Regal Stretch and Finlay tried to fight the hold. Well, then his eyes rolled into the back of his head and the ref called for the bell with Finlay incapacitated.
WINNER: Regal via ref's decision in 4:00. Good, tight fight between the European wrestlers. Fine action. Regal vs. Punk in your finale. (*)
[Commercial Break]
[Q8]
John McCain pre-tape message. McCain said the Mac has finally come back to Greenville. He dropped a Ric Flair, Triple H, and Hulk Hogan reference. McCain said he's going to introduce Osama bin Laden to the Undertaker. He said we watch WWE because wrestling is about celebrating freedom; fighting to be the very best. McCain said you might need a ticket to the "Fatal Four" next weekend, but you don't need a ticket to the cage match in November. He said that's the bottom line because John McCain said so. The lines were forced, but he was the only one tried to identify himself as a wrestling fan.
Backstage: John Cena did his promo in front of the dark curtain. He said we've heard from a Wall Street tycoon and an 11-time champion so far. Cena said that Hunter believes with every ounce of his being that he will become WWE champion. Cena claimed to be a one-man dynasty, but he only has a small chance of winning the belt just like the other three. He said they know they have to go through him to get the belt, though. Cena said he's going to make them earn it, and questions about his resolve will be answered at Backlash. He claimed to be a loaded weapon, then did a salute.
Announcers: Ross and Lawler plugged Clinton vs. Obama up next. They showed the ring being adorned with the red, white, and blue banner thingies you find opening week at MLB ballparks.
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Lillian Garcia couldn't stop laughing introducing the Democratic primary Smackdown. Hulk Hogan's music hit, then fake Hillary and fake Bill came to the ring. That's a real stretch on Hillary. Bill tried to upstage Hillary with his ring entrance, but he fell all over himself. They did the Hogan cup-to-the-ear pose leading into the top of the third hour. Poor Lawler had to play this off as legit.
[Q9 -- third hour]
Hillary tried to cut a promo, but Bill kept trying to pose in front of her. Bill said he was just trying to help out. Hillary sent him to the corner for time-out. She then asked PA what they're going to do when Hillary and the superdelegates run wild on you. Hogan's music hit again. Lillian then introduced Barack Obama to The Rock's theme music. Out came a man sporting giant ears. Ross and Lawler traded ear jokes while fake Obama shook hands with fans on the way to the ring. Obama even did The Rock pose on the turnbuckle smelling the arena. Obama did a "Finally the Barack has come back" intro, which got booed. He asked the Clintons if they really think change can happen. Bill tried to answer, but Obama cut him off with an It doesn't matter what you think. Obama closed with a parting shot. Lawler chuckling during this was priceless. Oh wait, you think this is over. But, oh no.
8 -- FAKE OBAMA vs. FAKE HILLARY (w/fake Bill)
Ref tried to check for foreign weapons on the participants prior to the match, but Bill reprimanded the ref for touching her when no man has touched her like that in years. Hillary dominated early, landing a leg drop. Barack then cut her off with a Rock Bottom and tried to deliver the People's Elbow, but Bill tripped Obama from the outside. Both participants were given a ten count, but Umaga interrupted to end the ordeal. He walked into the ring and gave Obama the Samoan Spike. Bill then walked over to Umaga and tried to play nice. Umaga yelled in Bill's face, though, so Bill bolted out of the ring. Hillary was left alone in the ring to take a Samoan drop in center ring. Umaga left the ring, with the fake candidates flattened in the ring like a crime scene. Ross said the match has been declared a draw. He then tried to make a serious transition into encouraging people to vote in PA tomorrow.
WINNER: No One in the building or watching at home in 3:00. And WWE wonders why no one takes them seriously. I mean, seriously, Triple H did that promo on Larry King before WrestleMania about the sports pages and entertainment pages not covering WWE in the U.S. Well, duh, when you actually get some mainstream pub earlier today for the candidates on Raw, and then you pull out the b.s. from the McMahon playbook, it's no wonder no one wants to cover WWE with a serious tone. (n/a)
[Commercial Break]
[Q10]
Announcers: Ross and Lawler tried to take a serious tone on the candidate appearances, thanking them for appearing, and then encouraging voters in PA to go out and vote.
In-ring: Of course, this was followed immediately by scantily-clad divas coming to the ring. Michelle McCool, Ashley, Kelly Kelly, Cherry, and Maria rounded out the field. Maria said they wanted to celebrate what they never thought was possible. Roll clip of Mickie James winning the Women's Title from Beth Phoenix last week. Ashley said the witch is dead. She then welcomed out Mickie James for a big celebration. Mickie hopped to the ring with the Women's Title in hand while Ross referenced Danica Patrick having a Mickie James moment by winning her first race over the weekend.
Maria said she knows Mickie wasn't expecting a celebration, but they wanted to tell her congratulations. Mickie gave the speech about never giving up and always competing. She said she proved everyone wrong last week. Before she could finish, Beth Phoenix led out the heel divas to the ring. Beth, Melina, Victoria, Natalia, Jillian Hall (w/strange wig and/or facial lift?), and Layla came out. Beth ripped the mic away and said listening to this pathetic lovefest prompted them to come out here and break up the party. Beth said the question is when she's winning the belt back. McCool speaks! She then slapped Beth across the face. This led to a giant brawl, of course. The babyface divas cleared the heel divas from the ring, leading to a diva staredown.
Announcers: Ross and Lawler plugged the KOTR finals up next.
[Commercial Break]
Mr. Kennedy vignette: They aired a video package on Mr. Kennedy to remind us of his presence on the Raw brand. He returns next Monday.
In-ring: William Regal came to the ring first for the KOTR tournament finals. C.M. Punk followed out next with bruises on his face accentuated. He was holding his back as well. The announcers suggested Punk had a much tougher road to the finals than Regal to stack the deck against babyface Punk.
9 -- C.M. PUNK vs. WILLIAM REGAL -- KOTR Finals
Regal tried to attack Punk right away, but Punk avoided him and nailed knee lifts beneath the chin. He nailed a charging knee in the corner, then went for a bulldog, but Regal scooped him up for a suplex on the back of the head. Regal stretched Punk's back, but Punk fought back with leg strikes and a standing roundhouse kick for a nearfall. Punk went for the G2S, but Regal grabbed the top rope to block. He then nailed a kick to the head and went for the Regal Stretch, but Punk resisted. Regal fired forearm blows to the back of the head, then he was able to slap on the Stretch. Punk tried to fight the hold, but Regal scored a submission victory for the win.
WINNER: Regal in 4:00 to become King of the Ring. Well, they have been trying to rebuild Regal as a half-way credible wrestler and not just a lameduck authority figure, so I don't particularly feel strongly one way or the other on the conclusion of the tournament. It just wasn't a credible tournament to begin with.
[Q11]
Post-match: William Regal walked over to the coronation throne on stage and stood in front of the throne. The announcers said they were speechless. Regal then sat down on the throne and surveyed the arena with a blank look on his face.
[Commercial Break]
Video promo: They plugged the Hardy Boys DVD coming out next Tuesday.
In-ring: Randy Orton's music hit. Oh yeah, the WWE champion. Forgot about him. Orton walked out on stage and surveyed the arena. Time for the eight-man tag main event. Before that, he took the mic in center ring and said he's sick and tired of hearing people talk about leaving Backlash as new WWE champion. Orton said he doesn't have anything to say except No Mercy. Armageddon. Survivor Series. Royal Rumble. No Way Out. WrestleMania 24. Orton said they all featured successful championship victories. He said there is nothing that anyone can do about the fact that at Backlash, he will remain WWE champion. Crowd booed that.
JBL's music then interrupted and the white limo appeared, with JBL emerging from the passenger side. JBL slowly made his way to the ring and stared down Orton. They had a close encounter talking in the ring while Chavo Guerrero slowly came to the ring oblivious to the disagreement between JBL and Orton. Edge then came out as the fourth member of the team. He tried to play peacemaker between Orton and JBL before they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
[Q12]
In-ring: Triple H came out first for the babyface four-man team. John Cena followed out next, making his first appearance on Raw in two weeks, when it seems like months. Hunter stared straight ahead at the opposition while Cena stared down Hunter. Kane came out third, then the announcers went silent as The Undertaker made his entrance. Ross interjected that if there ever is a final story written on WWE, the Undertaker will be in chapter one.
10 -- WWE champion RANDY ORTON & JBL & CHAVO GUERRERO & EDGE vs. TRIPLE H & JOHN CENA & ECW champion Kane & World Hvt. champion THE UNDERTAKER
Taker wanted to start things off. Edge feigned that he would start, but Orton jumped him from behind. Edge tried to use the distraction, but Taker quickly shook that off and took down Edge with Old School. He cleared the heels from the apron before they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
They returned with Chavo scoring a nearfall on Hunter. Edge then tagged in and wanted the spear, but Hunter countered with a spinebuster. Hunter then hopped over to his corner and hot-tagged to Cena, who cleaned house. Cena measured Edge for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Chavo pulled down the top rope and Cena fell to the floor. Back in the ring, the heels ganged up Cena while the crowd got hot and hotter.
[Q13 -- over-run]
Cena tried to fight back against Edge, but Edge caught him with a boot to the jaw. Orton instantly took a tag and pounded Cena into the mat. They then had a double-clothesline, leaving both men out cold in center ring. Cena made a hot tag to Kane while Orton tagged out to Chavo, who took a high back body drop from Kane. Kane cleaned house, then went up top. He landed an um...clothesline on Chavo, but the heels broke up the pin. And all heck broke loose. Men battled everywhere while Kane grabbed Chavo around the neck for a chokeslam. But, Edge had taken a blind tag and he speared Kane out of nowhere. Edge covered Kane for the pin and the win.
Afterward, Cena was in prime position to catch a celebratory Edge with the FU in center ring. Hunter and Cena then had a stand-off. Cena went for the FU, but Hunter blocked and went for the Pedigree, but JBL smashed him with a clothesline. Orton then dropped Cena with the RKO. Orton and JBL had a big staredown, then Taker put an end to all that non-sense with a double chokeslam on Orton and JBL. He posed with the blue smoke in the ring. Backlash in six days this Sunday, said Ross to close the show.
WINNERS: Team Edge in 13:00. Fine showcase match to close the show. Not sure if anyone wants to spend $40 on a PPV this Sunday following a satisfying ending with Taker taking out JBL and Orton, and people getting their cable bill for WrestleMania, though. (**1/2)
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