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KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 6/6: Vickie picks Batista's partners for an eight man tag match, Vickie creates a new Smackdown Title
Jun 7, 2008 - 2:13:31 AM
KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
JUNE 6, 2008
TAPED TUESDAY IN LOS ANGELES, CALIF.
WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR
-Clips aired of Edge defeating Undertaker to "banish" him from WWE.
-In the ring, Vickie Guerrero sat in her wheelchair and celebrated with Bam Neely, Chavo Guerrero, Zach Ryder, and Curt Hawkins with champaign. She milked the boos, which just got longer the more often she stopped in protest. Chants of "Undertaker" and then "You suck!" rang out. She introduced, with great pleasure, the man responsible for "banishing" the Undertaker from WWE. Edge then came out to his ring intro. Then he made out with Vickie Guerrero. Edge saluted the entire family. He said he couldn't ask for a better group of friends than them. Edge said he hears the kid from Jerry Macguire is in the audience, but with all due respect, he told Vickie, "You complete me." He then congratulated himself for doing what nobody else could do - he ended the career of Undertaker and became the new World Hvt. Champion.
He said nobody should feel bad for Undertaker because he did him a favor. He said had Undertaker managed to beat him, he would have hunted him down and left him a shell of himself and a beaten man. He said this way he got to leave with dignity - losing a TLC match to the master of the TLC match. He said he may just be the greatest superstar in the history of WWE. He said Undertaker should thank him. He proposed a toast to the Dead Man: "May he rest in peace." As they raised their champaign glasses, the lights went out. The crowd popped. When the lights came back on, Edge acted scared. Then he broke into laughter and said, "You all fell for it." Everyone in the ring laughed along with Edge. He said he had to do it. "LIfe works in mysterious ways," he said. "As something dies, something else blossoms." Vickie then said she had an announcement to make. She said in five weeks on July 11, she and Edge will be pledging their endless love in holy matrimony on Smackdown. Everyone poured champaign over Edge.
Batista's music played (because there's no one left on Smackdown who has the credibility to feud with Edge now that Undertaker is gone). Vickie asked him what the hell he thinks he's doing. Batista told her to relax. He said he wanted to know why he wasn't invited to the party. "I like to party," he said. He wished them luck in their upcoming wedding. He said they deserve each other. He said he hopes they live happily every after. Then he yelled, "I'm just kidding. I hate each and every one of you." He wished them ugly kids and hoped they made each other miserable. He added that last week he said he was going to challenge the winner of the TLC match, and that's what he's doing right now. Vickie said she was going to announce this later, but she'd go ahead and do it now. She said she doesn't take orders, she gives them, She said he'll have to earn a title match, so he'd be in an eight-man tag match: Edge & Chavo & Hawkins & Ryder vs. Batista and three partners of her choosing. Edge said he better hope he wins or gets drafted away because if he loses, he'll never get another title shot against him again.
Michael Cole spoke for the first time and commented on the challenge Vickie's put in front of Batista. Mick Foley said he's sure Vickie will pick an all-star case to face Batista.
Palumbo rode his motorcycle to the ring. He still has no tattoos. Palumbo ripped off Hornswoggle's jacket. Finlay slidekicked Palumbo to get a jump-start on the match. Palumbo bailed out of the ring again just as the bell rang. Finlay threw Palumbo's head into the security barrier, but Palumbo reverse whipped Finlay into the ringside steps. Palumbo pulled out a garbage can, but Finlay slidekicked it into Palumbo. Palumbo got the better of a ringside brawl, then threw Finlay back into the ring. At 5:00 as Palumbo wrapped his fist in a chain, Hornswoggle came up behind and low-blowed Palumbo. Finlay then hit Palumbo with the chain as Palumbo had turned to go after Hornswoggle. Finaly scored a pin. They showed MVP watching from a luxury suite. He didn't look happy. Hornswoggle and Finlay danced in celebration.
WINNER: Finlay in 5:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4
-Cole plugged Jimmy Kimmell's Cousin Sal vs. Santino. Foley said it is everyone's dream match.
[Commercial Break]
-The Big Show walked to the ring with a big black swollen eye. He had a big smile on his face and shook hands with a little boy in the crowd who apparently forget Show ended his favorite wrestler Rey Mysterio's career a few months back. Show said his career as America's Next Top Model is out, but he's now the no. 1 contender for the ECW Championship. A clip aired of his win in the Singapore Cane match at One Night Stand. He talked about facing Kane, whom he said is a champion for a reason. Mark Henry interrupted what sounded like it was about to be a mind-numbingly boring interview. Henry said he had the audacity to come out there a few weeks ago and talk about how Henry should pick on somebody his own size and somehow tied that into the singapore cane match and beating up people smaller than him with a stick. Henry introduced a clip of Show's eye socket landing on the ringside steps. Show said, "There's nothing between you and I but air and opportunity." He sucked in, then said, "There went the air." Henry said he was up a for a fight. Show stood in the ring in a fighting stance. Henry walked to ringside, but then retreated.
-Roddy Piper warmed up Cousin Sal by having him slap him.
-Cole and Foley hyped the eight-man tag main event.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed the exterior of Staples Center, then went to a video package of the GI Film Festival where WWE received an award as a Corporate Patriot. Ric Flair accepted the award on behalf of WWE.
2 -- DEUCE & DOMINO vs. THE GREAT KHALI
They showed music producer Rick Rubin in the front row. Rubin was the secret owner of Smoky Mountain Wrestling in the early-'90s and hired Jim Cornette to operate and book it. Foley said it was a surprise to see Khali back on Smackdown. He said Khali received a hero's response in India when he returned home. Khali won with two Khali Bombs.
WINNER: Khali in 2:00.
-Backstage, Vickie invited the women wrestlers into her office. She said she is a woman with power in a male-dominated business. She said she tends to compare herself with another woman in the business, The Fabulous Moolah. She said she is disappointed that her show doesn't have a woman's champion. She said she is going to crown a Smakdown Women's Champion. The women got excited. She said there'd be a match later to determine one of the two women who will wrestle for the Smackdown Women's Title.
-At ringside Cole said it's a great decision by Vickie. Foley said it's about time. They threw to a video package on Cousin Sal.
[Commercial Break]
WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR
3 -- SANTINO MARELLA vs. COUSIN SAL (w/Jimmy Kimmell, Roddy Piper)
Sal disrobed to a a singlet. Foley touted his high school wrestling experience. Couldn't they have come up with some explanation for Santino being on Smackdown? Just something as simple as tying it in to Los Angeles being where Smackdown was this week and Kimmell being based there, thus an exception was mad for him. Just ignoring it makes the brand split feel soft and the upcoming draft feel less relevant. Sal actually got an airplane spin in on Santino. Cole said it's obviously he's been working with Piper. Santino charged at Sal, but Sal moved and Santino ran into the corner. He then vertical suplexed Santino. Santino came back with a bodyslam that looked really sloppy, showing how important it is with that move for the victim to be skilled. As Piper distracted Santino, Sal schoolboyed him. Kimmell entered the ring to celebrate. Santino interrupted the celebration. Piper intervened to be sure Santino didn't hurt Kimmell. He stood and raised the arms of Sal and Piper. They showed Sarah Silverman in the crowd. I still can't believe Silverman is with Kimmell. It's just wrong. Cole and Foley said they hope Santino doesn't get drafted to Smackdown.
WINNER: Cousin Sal in 3:00. Not a total disaster in the ring, but it felt like something that was there more for WWE p.r. on Kimmell (and vice-versa) than anything of value for viewers of the program.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed a wide shot of the Staples Center interior. Cole said over 14,000 were present for Smackdown. They showed MVP sitting alone talking on his cell phone in the luxury suite.
-Backstage Eve tried to interfere Sal, but Kimmell kept speaking for him. Kimmell said he has another fight scheduled against Big Show. Big Show walked in. Sal put Kimmell in a headlock. Show picked him up and pulled him away. Kimmell said Sal smells really bad, but they're going to make a lot of money. That wasn't funny even a little.
-Miz and John Morrison were teasing Hornswoggle backstage. They took his hat and laughed as he tried to grab it back. Finlay came to his defense, then Hornswoggle sprayed them with a water gun.
-Edge talked strategy backstage with La Familia. He talked one-on-one with Chavo when the others left. He asked him to be his Best Man. He said they might create another wrestling dynasty of boys and girls together. He said they'll be his cousins. Edge hugged Chavo, who seemed uncomfortable with everything for some reason.
[Commercial Break]
4 -- LAYLA vs. MICHELLE MCCOOL vs. MARYSE vs. CHERRY vs. NATALYA vs. VICTORIA vs. KELLY KELLY -- Golden Dreams Match
They all tried to climb a pole to get a golden star to earn a spot in the title match. The women tossed each other around and out of the ring, then Natalya knocked Victoria off the top rope and grabbed the star herself.
WINNER: Natalya in 3:00.
[Commercial Break]
-A video package aired of the Million Dollar Mania press conference that no point to it held in Los Angeles a few hours before the Smackdown taping.
5 -- JIMMY WANG YANG vs. VLADIMIR KOZLOV
Foley talked about how easy it is to register for the million dollars. He asked Cole if it was true he was disqualified from entering because he's employed by WWE. Cole assured him that's the case. Foley touted Yang as the toughest test for Kozlov to date. Kozlov blocked a single-leg takedown attempt by Yang. Then he fired back with a quick bit boot after ducking a jump spin hook kick by Yang. He then finished Yang with a half Boston crab. Yang forced a break by crawling to the bottom rope. Kozlov finished Yang with headbutt to the back and a belly-to-belly suplex. Foley said he's more impressed with him each week.
WINNER: Kozlov in 2:00.
-Eve asked Batista how he feels about the upcoming match. Batista said if he gets his hands on Edge, he'll be the one missing limbs.
[Commercial Break]
-Edge came out with his partners first. Then Batista walked out to his full ring intro. His surprise partners were introduced next. An enthusiastic Nunzio ran out and warmed up by punching Batista's hands. Funaki was revealed next. Foley said maybe the fourth wrestler will be the wildcard who will help Batista. Instead, it was Colin Delaney. Cole introduced ECW's Delaney by giving a brief rundown of his history. He said he thinks Delaney has only won one or two matches in his career.
Batista controlled the match early, then tagged in Delaney and launched him off the top rope onto Chavo for a two count. They cut to a break at 2:00.
[Commercial Break]
Thanks to a Bam clothesline during the break, the heels took control of the match, concentrating on Delaney. Edge forced Delaney to tag in Funaki at 8:00, then tagged in Chavo. Funaki took a beating for a while. Funaki finally hot-tagged Batista at 12:00 and he went to work on Ryder (or was it Hawkins?). Batista powerslammed him, then knocked the other heels off the ring apron. After a spinebuster, he signalled for the Batista Bomb. Edge jumped Batista from behind. An eight-way brawl broke out. Edge speared Delaney. Batista speared both Chavo and Hawkins (or was it Ryder?). Batista then hit the Batista Bomb for the pin.
WINNERS: Batista & Delaney & Nunzio & Funaki in 14:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Pretty flat match throughout as they just filled time with the weak babyfaces taking extended beatings leading to the eventual hot tag to Batista for the chaotic, exciting finish. Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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