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CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 6/12: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV show
Jun 12, 2008 - 10:00:46 PM |
By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
June 12, 2008
Taped June 9 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
They opened with a note in memoriam of Kevin "Angus" Sinex. I'm assuming he was the production crew worker who died at the PPV.
Video package: They recapped the highpoints of the PPV, focusing on Samoa Joe being the first champion to successfully win King of the Mountain. ... Tonight's theme is: "I Put A Hit Out On My Wife." Lovely thought.
In-ring: They're going right to the TNA Title match with Kaz challenging Samoa Joe. Could have used some build-up, but it's all good. Kaz came out first to a big reaction. Samoa Joe then walked out defend the belt.
1 -- TNA World champion SAMOA JOE vs. KAZ -- TNA Title match
Nice opening exchange while they cut to a split-screen of Kevin Nash watching the action intently on a monitor. Joe with the kick strike and knee drop combo, but Kaz kicked out before walking into an athletic stop-pause-enziguiri kick to the head. After a series of counters and reversals, Joe busted out the powerbomb into STF submission, which Kaz escaped by grabbing the bottom rope. Joe then had the Musclebuster, but Kaz countered into a spinning neckbreaker for a close nearfall. Kaz tried to follow with a springboard DDT, but Joe caught him and perched him up top. He wanted the Musclebuster again, and he connected. Joe then made the cover for the pin and the win. After the bell sounded, Booker T walked out on stage and stared into the ring where Joe had his hand raised.
WINNER: Joe in 7:00 to retain the TNA Title. Heck of a match. Great way to start the show with action rather than a bunch of talking. Good showing from Kaz to keep himself strong despite losing. (**1/2)
[Commercial Break]
[Q2]
Impact Zone: Back from break, Booker took the mic and sarcastically congratulated Joe on beating Kaz. He said these people don't give a damn about Joe. (Boo and hiss.) Booker then asked Joe what the people think about screwing him at the PPV. I must have ordered the wrong PPV. He then wanted to know what's up with Joe and his butt buddy, Kevin Nash. Booker didn't want to hear it, on second thought, so he cut off Joe and asked man-to-man if he can look in the mirror and say he beat Booker straight up? Booker said he's going to head back to his elephant-piss locker room and wait for Joe's reply.
Backstage: Lauren brought in Kurt Angle to talk turkey. Lauren said what goes around comes around. She talked about Karen Angle helping A.J. Styles defeat Kurt, which upset Kurt. "That's exactly why I hate women," he said. Angle said it was a dumb comment, then attacked the source rather than the issue. He said Spike TV thinks hot chicks equals ratings. Angle pulled out a FedEx letter from Kevin Kay of Spike TV indicating Karen has signed a TNA talent deal. He said a man should never hit a woman, which is why he put a hit out on his wife. Angle said he envisions Karen and Styles out cold on the mat at the end of the night. He said Karen is going to feel his own embarrassment from the past few months, and this will be Karen's final time on TNA TV tonight.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Borash hyped the World X Cup, then he brought in Daivari as the captain of Team International. They included subtitles for him cutting a promo on destroying Team Mexico, Team Japan, and Team TNA. Subtitles were a little slow catching up. Daivari walked away. Suddenly, Raisha interrupted and told Borash that Awesome Kong returns to work beating up one American at a time. She said Kong will no longer be gentle, as blood will be shed.
2 -- MASATO YOSHINO & NARUKI DOI (Team Japan) vs. CHRIS SABIN & ALEX SHELLEY (Team TNA)
The World X Cup preview match started with a series of counters into a stand-off. Tenay referenced the Dragon Date background of Team Japan, then Sabin and Yoshino proceeded to run in super-fast motion across the ring. Machineguns then combo smashed Yoshino with a double foot dropkick for a nearfall. Doi took control for Dragon Gate by dumping Sabin to the floor, then they double-teamed Shelley in the ring.
[Q3]
Doi slapped on a modified abdominal stretch while the fans tried to rally with a U-S-A chant. Yoshino & Doi continued to give the Guns a dose of their own medicine with rapid-fire double-team moves, then Shelley escaped a corner splash and made the hot tag to Sabin, who cleaned house. Sabin and Shelley with a combo kick strike to the head on Doi, then Sabin came off the top with a springboard clothesline, but Yoshino broke up the pin. Sabin and Shelley accidentally knocked heads, then Doi with a brainbuster suplex on Sabin. Action broke down at 6:00 with an amazing combo of tag team moves from Yoshino and Doi. Yoshino with a missile dropkick on Sabin for a nearfall, but Doi was knocked out on the outside giving Guns an opening on Yoshino back in the ring. Double-team superkick led to Sabin pinning Yoshino for the win.
WINNERS: Sabin & Shelley in 7:00. Wow. Double wow. Yes, it was a bit spotty, but it was so great that you just forget about any critique and enjoy the in-ring action. Memorable, well-done debut for Yoshino and Doi on U.S. TV. (**1/2)
Backstage: They quickly back to Borash, who interviewed Karen Angle. Borash congratulated Karen on the Spike TV deal, then Karen rehashed the marital problems with Kurt. Suddenly, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky interrupted and talked down to Karen. Velvet said rumor is that Karen is making double what they make. Angelina said they're making it their business on how much Karen is making. She said there's a pecking order in TNA with the Beautiful People, then everyone else.
Velvet tried to put the bag on Karen's head, but A.J. Styles interrupted. Velvet mocked prince Styles for saving the world. Styles shook it off, then sent the message back to the locker room that if anyone wants to get to Karen, they have to go through him. Angelina, trying to seduce Styles, said if he wants to be with a real woman, he knows where to find them. Such great heels. This show is clicking.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Lauren was with Kevin Nash to talk controversy. Odd setting. Nash was scripted to give some dumb line about money, then Lauren asked Nash about whether Booker was right that Joe is only the champion because Nash helped him out at the PPV. Nash wouldn't give a straight answer, then Samoa Joe suddenly interrupted from outer space. Joe was shown walking to the ring, then Nash walked off the interview set. Joe entered the ring screaming for Nash, then Nash strolled into the ring for a pow-wow.
Nash said they don't need to talk about this out here, but Joe said if there's anything Nash needs to say, then say it front of the people. Nash shot back that maybe Joe doesn't want to hear what he has to say. He said maybe the only reason why Joe has that strap is because the Big Man took care of business, so instead of running your mouth, a simple "thank you" might be in order. Joe said Nash needs to be thanking him for allowing him to ride his coattails every week. "I'm Kevin Nash!" he screamed back. Fans behind Nash here. He then told Joe that he can't beat Booker. Nash said it's all mental because Booker is already in his head. Joe, not willing to listen, told Nash to take his opinions and predictions and shove them up his ass. Joe dropped the mic and stomped out of the ring.
[Q4]
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: More Kurt and Karen non-sense. Borash walked into a meeting room where Kurt Angle was sitting at a table with Scott Steiner, Petey Williams, and Freak. He saw something he wasn't supposed to see, so Steiner quickly closed the door in Borash's face. Tenay said that's quite a weird situation. Sure is.
In-ring: There's a tag title match occurring for some reason. In any event, Storm and Jackie came out first. Roode then walked out as his tag partner for some reason. Did I miss a qualifying match for these men? LAX then came out sans Salinas. Well, that's disappointing. Tenay said Salinas is on location doing a Knockouts photo shoot.
3 -- TNA tag team champions LAX (HOMICIDE & HERNANDEZ w/Hector Guerrero) vs. JAMES STORM (w/Jacqueline Moore) & ROBERT ROODE -- TNA Tag Title match
LAX dominated early on, then Jackie distracted the ref allowing Roode to take Homicide throat-first across the top rope to give the challengers control. Ref continued to be distracted, allowing Jackie to wrap her leather belt around Homicide's throat. Hernandez eventually took a hot tag and the action totally broke down. Ref gave Hernandez the timing cue as the action started to slow to a crawl. LAX went for a Doomsday Device, but more ref distraction ended that. Hector got involved while some weaponry became involved. I have no idea what's going on. Suddenly, Storm landed a loaded boot superkick on Hernandez for the pin to win the tag titles. Hector proceeded to yell at the referee about the loaded boot. Tenay said LAX was screwed out of the belts. Approaching the top of the hour, they cut to break.
WINNERS: Storm & Roode in 6:00 to capture the TNA tag titles. Just an over-complicated clustermess at the end. Terrible finish to this. (1/2*)
[Q5 -- second hour]
[Commercial Break]
Impact Zone: Still chaos and pandemonium in the ring coming back from break. Referee then took the belts away from the challengers and he decided to re-start the match with no official title change, as I understand it.
3b -- TNA tag team champions LAX (HOMICIDE & HERNANDEZ w/Hector Guerrero) vs. JAMES STORM (w/Jacqueline Moore) & ROBERT ROODE -- TNA Tag Title match
Challengers worked over Hernandez, who was still reeling from the loaded boot shot. Hernandez then fired back with a double clothesline and set up Homicide for a Sentaun splash off the top. More referee incompetence ensued, then Hernandez caught Roode off the top rope into a powerbomb for the pin and the win. Fans popped big for the champs retaining the belts.
WINNERS: LAX in 2:00 to retain the TNA tag titles. Better, but still a mess. (3/4*)
Post-match 2: Roode entered the ring with a steel chair in hand and landed chair shots to the head. Ugh. At least Triple H (Hector, Homicide, and Hernandez) had time to brace for the chair shots, but it's still a bad call. The challengers tied up the champs in the corner and started strapping them. A planted LAX fan ringside was relieved of his belt, which Roode used to whip Hernandez. Homicide took a whooping himself. Referees tried to save the ref of the match, but heels continued to land belt shots on everyone breathing. The camera focused in tight on the welts forming on Hernandez's back, then Roode and Storm held up the tag titles in unofficial victory. Heck of a post-match beating from the heels to build sympathy for LAX. That is, if TNA will ever capitalize on these things.
Backstage: Suddenly, there was a deal going on backstage. Drama in the make up room! Hey, look, it's Simon Diamond wearing a badge trying to separate the knockouts from killing each other.
[Commercial Break]
Bound for Glory plug: They promoted the BFG IV PPV from Chicago coming up October 12. Nice video package, although a bit of a rip on WWE's marketing of WrestleMania 22 from Chicago.
Impact Zone: Velvet Sky was walking to the ring, when suddenly Gail Kim jumped her from behind. And the brawl was on. Velvet eventually dumped Kim into the ring, starting a match.
4 -- VELVET SKY vs. GAIL KIM
Hot action to start off with. Velvet went right for the injured right knee and worked it over before Gail made a hobbling comeback. She went high-risk up top, but Velvet moved and Gail ate the mat. Velvet then grabbed the brown paper bag to give Gail the business, but Gail avoided it and nailed a swinging breaker for the pin and the win. Afterward, Gail slapped the bag over Velvet's head to add insult to injury.
WINNER: Gail in 5:00. Fine divas match. Crowd was into the action and Gail played a strong babyface overcoming the knee injury.
[Q6]
Announcers: Tenay and West followed up on the LAX vs. Roode & Storm match and post-match angle. Nice follow-up. ... They cut backstage where Roode said that was just a little taste of what they have coming to LAX. Roode begged them to retaliate. Storm said they have the two things that make the world go round: da money and the beer. He put himself over as a redneck, then after making jokes about LAX's heritage, he told them to bring it on. So, it's basically a racially-driven gang fight.
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Representing Team International, Alex Koslov came out to the ring. Oh my, this is officially the best TNA show of the year. Tenay talked about Koslov's background training in L.A., while training in Mexico currently. Curry Man came out as the opposition, representing Team TNA.
5 -- CURRY MAN (Team TNA) vs. ALEX KOSLOV (Team International)
Koslov busted out the Russian folded-arms dance, then Curry Man returned the favor with a Spicy dance that the crowd cheered for. Curry tried the Spicy Rack around 3:00, but Koslov escaped and nailed a Russian legsweep. He then came off the top rope with a big splash for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Koslov in 3:00. Fine debut for Koslov on national TV. A little short, but it will do. (*)
Backstage in the elephant-piss locker room: Borash brought in Sonjay Dutt, who had no comment on ruining the wedding. He suddenly walked off, then Samoa Joe walked in. He approached Booker T, who was randomly sitting down on a bench. Joe shook Booker's hand and told him he has a TNA Title shot at the PPV. "Just like that?" Booker asked as he stood up. Joe confirmed it, then Booker thanked him and reminded Joe that Victory Road runs through Houston where he has a lot of friends and back-up. Joe said that's fine, then he handed Booker the keys to his locker because it does smell like piss.
[Commercial Break]
[Q7]
In-ring: Sonjay Dutt came to the ring smiling from ear to ear. Tenay called him a jerk for ruining the Lethal/Val wedding. Dutt took the mic and dedicated the following match to his love, Val. He said after his hand is raised in victory, there is only one thing left to do: seal the deal with a big kiss. Weird promo. Didn't feel like Dutt. Consequences Creed then came out as the opponent.
6 -- SONJAY DUTT vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED
Creed landed a sick clothesline in the corner that bounced the back of Dutt's head off the middle turnbuckle. That woke up the audience. He followed with a smashing clothesline for a close nearfall before Dutt landed a low blow with the ref conveniently distracted. Dutt then went up top and nailed a 450 splash for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Dutt in 3:00. Not sure what the deal is with Creed's push on this show. But, he looked good for the little offense he had. Dutt with a good heel win. (*)
Post-match: Lethal charged the ring sans the Savage gimmick. He got his hands on Dutt momentarily until Dutt escaped the ring. They showed Val looking mad ringside. Lethal challenged Dutt to a match next week at the Pink Taco where the bachelor party was held. Apparently it's Punk vs. Homicide from the FIP stripper match. Val smiled and clapped it up for her man.
Backstage: They showed the heel and babyface lumberjacks walking in anticipation of the Angle vs. Styles lumberjack match. Not much promotion for the main event on this show.
[Commercial Break]
Impact Zone: Rhino, Christian, and Matt Morgan (ugh) were shown ringside as the babyface lumberjacks. Team 3D and Tomko were shown as the heel lumberjacks. Angle's boyfriend, Frank Trigg, was randomly at the broadcast table to help call the main event. Angle came out and received a standing ovation from his bf, then Styles came out and smacked fists with the babyface jacks.
[Q8]
7 -- A.J. STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE -- lumberjack match
Angle was knocked to the floor early on, then Rhino and Christian teed off on Angle before rolling him back into the ring. Trigg cliché count at 2:00: only two so far. Oops, three with the prediction of an all-out brawl. Styles was knocked to the outside, but the heels stubbed their toes and Styles escaped harm before re-entering the ring. Styles nailed the textbook dropkick off the leap frog, then Ray pulled the ref away from counting a pin. Angle pulled Styles to the outside, and the heels got their licks in on Styles while the babyface jacks tried to make the save. Action broke down, then 3D gave Rhino a hangmen's neckbreaker on the floor. They cut to break.
[Commercial Break]
They returned with Angle working over Styles in the ring. Tenay and West recapped Rhino being KO'ed and taken away from ringside by medics. Styles fired back with a corner clothesline before nailing a straightjacket suplex for a nearfall. Trigg suddenly had a word or two following Angle's close call. With the ref distracted, Styles had a huracanrana for a pin, but the ref was too slow to make the count. Oh, TNA refs. Styles with a random torture rack into backbreaker for a nearfall at 9:00. He cleared Ray off the apron, then the jack action totally broke down. Styles with yet another pin, but the ref was distracted yet again. Ray smashed Styles in the head in the interim, then Angle with the Olympic Slam for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Angle in 10:00. This is just getting ridiculous with the referee distraction b.s. in TNA. If it's one match, then OK. But, if it's in half of the matches on a TV show, then it's completely frustrating and becomes turn-the-channel heat for TV viewers. Crowd was hot again, so that helped the storyline-centric match. (*1/2)
Post-match: Lumberjacks started beating up each other, with Morgan taking a beating. Good for him. Styles and Christian took their licks in the ring while 3D set up a table ringside. Trigg simply laughed, then dropped cliché number four. Before Christian could take a splash through a table, Abyss's music interrupted and Abyss hit the ring. The heels backed down, but Abyss clotheslined all of them. Tomko tried to attack Abyss from behind, but Abyss chokeslammed him through one of the tables.
After some crafty editing, Styles rolled Angle back into the ring. He nailed a Pele soccer kick before throwing Angle into a table propped up in the corner. Styles wanted to put Angle through the table, but Angle moved and Styles ate the table with a top rope splash. Trigg said that's the smart guy. Angle slowly lowered the straps, then he slapped on the anklelock. Karen Angle stormed the ring and told Kurt to stop. She dared Kurt to hit him, but Awesome Kong's music hit and Kurt simply smiled. Kong cornered Karen, then flung her across the ring. Kurt, in the weekly effort to keep TNA relevant by referencing WWE, did Batista's thumbs up/thumbs down. Kong then laid out Karen. Kurt dragged Styles's body next to Karen, leaving them KO'ed next to each other, just as Kurt promised. End show.
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