KELLER'S ECW ON SCI-FI REPORT
AUGUST 12, 2008
NORFOLK, VA.
[Q1]
-It is uncanny how much Todd Grisham sounds exactly like Mike Adamle when he introduces the show. His vocal tone and inflection are so similar. Adamle and Mike Adamle introduced the show, so Tazz isn't back which means Mick Foley's not back on Smackdown. The plugged Miz & Morrison vs. Matt Hardy & Mark Henry.
1 -- TOMMY DREAMER vs. COLIN DELANEY
Dreamer came out with a shopping cart full of apparatus. Delaney looked, as Striker put it, like he was walking the plank. When the bell rang, Delaney hadn't even entered the ring yet. He ran toward the back. Dreamer caught up with him. Read that again: Dreamer caught up to him. Dreamer's never won a foot race in his life. Delaney slipped, which is how Dreamer caught him, so it doesn't really count, I guess. Dreamer whipped Delaney into the ringpost, but when Delay ducked, Dreamer punched the post. Delaney went on offense. He grabbed a trash can lid and leaped at Dreamer. Dreamer bashed him with a kendo stick to block it. Striker talked about how the kendo sticks scrape flesh off of you when it hits your skin. Dreamer took it inside the ring and continued the beating. Striker said Delaney asked for this and may deserve this. Dreamer hung him upside down in the corner. Striker said, "It looks like Dreamer is going to play Duke 'The Dumpster' Droese and is going to take the garbage out." Dreamer slidekicked the can into Delaney's upside down head. Dreamer missed with an elbow drop and landed on the can. Delaney hit him with a stop sign, but then he missed with a legdrop off the ropes. Dreawmer then DDT'd him onto the stop sign. Dreamer made the cover for the win.
WINNER: Dreamer in 4:00.
-Lena Yada interviewed Miz and Morrison. Morrison took a deep breath and then told her to go with the question. She congratulated them with the broadcast premiere of "The Dirt Sheet" last week. Miz said, "Oh, you mean the highest rated segment on ECW last week?" Lena threw to highlights. Lena said as a result of their actions last week, they have to face Henry & Hardy this week. That better explains why they did what they did last week. Miz said Seth Rogan wishes he could pull off comedy like that. Morrison said they're the Pineapple Express of WWE. He said they're the best tag team in the world, especially against a tag team that will be at each other's throats this Sunday. Miz said they will discover that in life there are winners and losers.
[Commercial Break]
-The Smackdown Rebound aired focused on Edge-Vickie. It's disappointing to see so much of ECW become recap material again, as the ratings began going up when they began going with a higher quotient of fresh first-run material.
[Q2]
2 -- EVAN BOURNE vs. BAM NEELY (w/Chavo Guerrero)
Grisham said Chavo ordered Bam to wrestle this match because he was too beat up. Grisham and Striker talked about the back story of the match as the match began to the point that it seemed they weren't aware the bell rang and a lot was happening in the ring. Bourne got early advantage. When he climbed to the top rope, he looked over at Chavo at ringside. Bam knocked him to the floor and then took control of the match. Bourne took a nasty flip bump off of a clothesline for a two count. At 2:00 Bourne went for a sunset flip. It didn't work, but Bourne came back with a roundkick to his head and backflip splash for a two count. He followed with a headscissors attempt. Neely turned it into a powerbomb set-up, but Bourne then reversed it into a DDT. He followed with the shooting star press off the top rope for the win. Another nice showing by Bourne. I'm curious how long they protect him and let him build a following before a Mark Henry, Triple H, or Batista type squashes him for no reason and no effect other than a heavyweight with influence feels threatened and flexes political muscle in an attempt to create a self-fulfilling prophesy that "small guys can't get over."
WINNER: Bourne in 3:00.
-Armando Estrada walked up to Teddy Long - who was chatting with Tiffany - with a WWE contract and demanded he sign it. Long said he beat Dreamer last week, and even though Delaney helped, he's a man of his word, so he'll sign it. Long said he now has his contract. Long said, "You look good, you work hard, what general manager wouldn't want you on his roster." He said this week he'll have his first official match - against Finlay. He said it's next, so welcome to ECW. Estrada seemed a bit thrown off of his celebration.
[Commercial Break]
[Q3]
3 -- FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. ARMANDO ESTRADA
Grisham said he's sure Estrada would have preferred a different opponent "for his first match" (under contract). Finlay opened with some hard clothelines. Grisham said Estrada has a great physique, then uttered words you don't expect to hear on WWE TV: "But it takes more than a great physique to make it in WWE." Finlay nailed Estrada with a stiff clothesline, then took him to the mat and held him down. Mike Knox stepped out onto the stage and observed Finlay. Finlay gave Estrada a Zumhoff splash in the corner. When Finlay noticed Knox, he took his eye off of Estrada who then dropped Finlay over the top rope and then stomped on him. Striker and Grisham spent a lot of time talking about Hornswoggle throughout the match. Knox inched toward the ring. Finlay came back at 4:00 with a boot at Estrada charged him in the corner and finished him shortly thereafter. Finlay waved Knox to come to the ring. Knox just snorted, turned, and walked away. Finlay brought a little boy into the ring to dance and high-five Finlay and Hornswoggle. Finlay - the new Rey Mysterio kids hero. Who'd've thunk it.
WINNER: Finlay in 5:00.
STAR RATING: *
[Commercial Break]
-Did You Know? More viewers watched Raw last night than Monday Night Football. WWE should brag about that while they can as it changes in September.
-Long and Tiffany were chatting and drinking wine together. Ricky Ortiz walked in and suggested a Ricky Ortiz towel to merchandise. He said he printed up 50,000 of them and called it an investment opportunity for Long. Long said he's been successful in his first ECW matches, but he needs to prove that success over a longer time period. He said next week he can prove something by facing a new ECW Superstar. Ortiz confidently shook Long's hand. Ortiz gave Tiffany his towel. She waved it around and said it's fun.
-WWE Slam of the Week: Clips of the Raw-Batista pullapart.
-On camera at ringside, Striker said Ortiz seems a little arrogant and nobody likes an arrogant person. Grisham said that's true. Striker scowled. Then they hyped the SummerSlam line-up.
[Q4]
-Matt Hardy told Mark Henry he'd rather be teaming with anyone else on the roster, including Lena Yada. Henry said the only reason he's teaming with him is to get his hands on Miz and Morrison. Henry said he wants Hardy to get in his way, not stay out of it, so he can mow through him as a preview of SummerSlam.
4 -- THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON vs. MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas) & MATT HARDY
Each wrestler got a separate ring intro, eating up a few minutes of TV time late in the show. Henry and Hardy argued about who'd start the match, a familiar scene. Henry won the argument and opened against Morrison. Morrison went behind Henry; Henry tossed Morrison across the ring. Henry then yanked Miz into the ring and put them both in the corner. When he charged for the splash, Miz moved, but Morrison got squished. Miz went after Henry from behind. Hardy entered and tossed Miz out of the ring. A minute in they cut to a late break.
[Commercial Break]
[Q5]
During the break Henry tossed Morrison high into the air and dropped him to the mat. He remained on offense. Striker: "Miz calls himself a chick-magnet. I didn't know women were made of metal." Such a literalist. Striker noted that neither Miz nor Morrison were pinned to lose their tag titles. Henry tagged in Hardy at 8:00. Morrison avoided a Hardy elbow and hot-tagged in Miz. Miz went on offense, beginning two minutes of heel offense. Striker noted that Henry was cheering on Hardy despite not liking Hardy. Grisham said he's like Michael Jordan - he wants to win even in a game of pick-up basketball. Who saw a Michael Jordan-Mark Henry comparison coming? Striker said Morrison speaks in riddles, but let him know he does yoga, pilates, and gymnastics and it shows in his unique style and physique. Hardy avoided a corner charge and fired back with a Side Effect. Hardy crawled over and counted a pin on Morrison. Both Striker and Grisham were surprised at the three count. Henry and Miz looked on in surprise. It seemed like the ref may have prematurely counted three due to Morrison kicking out late. The ref moved in for a quick conference. When Miz checked on Morrison, Henry jumped him and threw him out of the ring. Morrison rolled out of the ring while favoring his arm. Atlas raised Henry's hand as the ref handed Henry his belt. Henry and Atlas raised Hardy's arm afterward. Grisham naively complimented their sportsmanship, at which point Henry picked up Hardy and slammed him onto the ECW Title belt.
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