By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
FEBRUARY 2, 2009
ST. LOUIS, MO.

[Q1]

-The Raw opening aired. Then Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduced the show. Shane McMahon immediately danced onto the stage and walked to the ring. Is he aware of what a shameful, embarrassing, self-destructive, ridiculous (as in worthy of ridicule) angle he was part of at the close of Raw last week? Does he know he's been the target of criticism all week for that jaw-droppingly stupid finish to Raw?

As Shane stepped into the ring, they went to a video package on last week's show-closing angle. The edit of this will be telling. They began with the Randy Orton-Stephanie McMahon "forehead-to-forehead" argument, then Shane walking to the ring looking very upset. They showed him spear Orton not once, but twice to the mat, and then they jumped right to a pullapart on the stage. It was reduced down to look less utterly ridiculous than last week.

Shane looked to the crowd for approval, nodding at the fans who were applauding him. He said last week he was approached by Orton's legal team. He said he was surprised at what they said. He expected them to charge him with assault charges, but instead they wanted a match - Orton vs. Shane at No Way Out. Shane said he's accepted the fight and it will be No Holds Barred. He said, "I'm not going to be out there to pin your shoulders to the mat. After that deplorable and cowardly act you did to my father, I want payback and I'm going to get it." He said the fact that he tried to take WrestleMania away from everybody with an injunction, he's doing to sacrifice his body and make sure that he can't compete at WrestleMania. He tripped over his lines a little, and then ran out of things to say. The director left him hanging for a few awkward seconds, and then Orton's music played. Those are the head games they usually play with newer wrestlers, but Shane took a gulp as he waited for the Orton music to play.

Orton walked out onto the stage. He said, "Shane, you seem pretty sure of yourself, but after last week with what you pulled off, why wouldn't you be? I'm just curious. Did you ever stop and ask yourself, how did you do it? How did you possibly single-handedly beat up the three top superstars in the WWE?" Very very good questions, and it's good they're addressing that elephant in the living room. Orton said: "The answer is simple. You didn't." Orton said as soon as he saw him coming down to the ring, he made a decision. He said he told Ted and Cody something. The crowd began an RKO chant. "I told Ted and Cody not to fight back. Watch the tape, watch the footage, the proof is in the footage. Sure, Ted and Cody scuffled around a bit, tried to contain you, but just like me, they didn't fight back." He said he wasn't looking at him, he was looking at the entire Raw roster standing behind him, just waiting for the opportunity to impress him or his sister. He said he knew if they fought back and threw just one punch, their odds would have gone from three-on-one to twenty-on-three, "and I was not going to let that happen." He said it was a small price to pay for what he truly wanted, which was a match with hi at No Way Out. He advised Shane to call the hospital he put Vince in and order a bed next to his because after he's through with him at No Way Out, his father will have some company.

I give them major props for explaining their way out of last week's mess. I don't know if everyone is going to buy it, but it's better than not saying anything. It was a creative explanation that fits the scenario well enough to give Orton, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase their testicles back.

Orton set the mic down and began to walk down the ramp toward Shane. Shane took off his jacket as if he had no fear (which is still ridiculous - he's a 38 year old pudgy non-wrestler standing brave against the man WWE markets are possibly the baddest ass on the planet; shouldn't the announcers at least state the obvious objectively, which is that Shane has no chance). Orton snuck into the ring, so Shane grabbed a kendo stick. Cody and DiBiase snuck in from two other sides of the ring, but Shane fended them all off with a kendo stick. Maybe that was the compromise they gave Shane to get him to actually walk out to the ring and listen to Orton explain that they let him beat them up last week, giving him a chance to stand strong with the stick. The three heels backed off because kendo sticks hurt so bad. I'd give them a B- for fixing at least some of the damage from last week, but Shane standing strong against three heels with a kendo stick ended up making the three heels once again look a little cowardly. Tweaking slightly, such as having Orton stop half way down the ramp, and having Cody and Ted get knocked out of the ring by the kendo stick, rather than having Orton in the mix too, would have been better.

[Q2]

[Commercial Break]

-Did You Know? More people watched ECW on SciFi last week than any other show on MTV, VH1, A&E, Comedy Central, or The CW. They just gotta take a little dig at the Spike TV affiliates (the first four) and former Smackdown affiliate (CW).

1 -- WILLIAM REGAL & LAYLA vs. C.M. PUNK & MICKIE JAMES

Lawler said: "Regal has a permanent snarl, like he ate some bad peanut butter." Cole touted Punk's incredible last 12 months in WWE, listing the big matches and titles he's won. Regal tagged out to Layla a minute in after Punk got the better of him. When Punk turned to tag out, Regal charged and hit him from behind. Mickie entered, but Layla caught her by surprise as Regal was distracting her. Mickie made a comeback at 2:00, known on Raw as the mid-point of the match. The women collided and tagged the men back in. Punk threw rapid fire offense at Regal including three roundhouse kicks to the face. Punk was going to dive onto Regal at ringside, but Regal held Layla as a human shield. Mickie jumped at them instead, taking Layla down as Regal moved out of the way. When Punk stepped onto the ring apron, Regal swept his legs off the apron and Punk flat-backed onto the mat. As Punk reentered the ring to beat the count, Regal caught him with a running knee to the temple for the win.

WINNERS: Regal & Layla in 4:00.

-A video package aired on WrestleMania 2 with that great music and video production that makes sporting events of the past feel monumental. Well done. It included Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T and closed with Hulk Hogan posing in the ring after beating King Kong Bundy in a cage.

[Commercial Break]

Check out in-depth coverage of Saturday's UFC 94 PPV including Georges St. Pierre's spectacular performance in the main event by visiting our affiliate site, MMATorch.com, including editor Jamie Penick's great overview article today on the ramifications coming out of the event for each of the key fighters, plus what did the fighters earn, what were their bonuses, and what's the latest on future UFC line-ups. Also, check back for the UFC 94 Audio Roundtable later tonight, too!

[Q3]

-They showed the St. Louis skyline including the gateway arch.

-Cole and Lawler plugged that JBL would be doing an "Employee Performance Appraisal" on Raw later on the show regarding Shawn Michaels.

2 -- TED DIBIASE & CODY RHODES vs. CRYME TYME

The heel duo were still selling the pain of being hit with that kendo stick. Shad got a hot-tag at 2:00 and went to work DiBiase right away. Cody broke up a near fall a minute later. When DiBiase and Cody double-teamed Shad, the ref called for the DQ. Lawler said this is what they had in mind for Shane if not for his insurance policy, the kendo stick.

WINNERS: Cryme Tyme in 3:00.

-A video package aired on the Larry King Live interview with Mickey Rourke and Chris Jericho last week. They showed Jericho walking toward the entrance tunnel backstage, saying that he was headed to the ring to address the Rourke situation.

[Commercial Break]

-They showed a candid camera shot of Orton in the distance giving an animated talk to Cody and DiBiase backstage.

-Jericho walked to the ring and said he wanted to add to his comments on Rourke from Larry King Live last week. He said he respects his performance and his cowardly backtracking out of any match he might have had with him at WrestleMania. But his problem is that "The Wrestler" glorifies "the pathetic has-beens who are still hanging on for one last shot at fame and fortune; men like Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, and even Mickie Rourke's inspiration for his character, Randy the Ram, the man he calls his friend, Ric Flair. As a matter of fact, Flair is the worst out of all of them because he cannot bow out gracefully. Flair had the storybook career, 16 time world champion, millions of fans worldwide, millions of dollars made, and the most epic retirement of all time at WrestleMania last year. I mean, Flair should have it all, living in a mansion spending quality time with his family and friends, but he's not. You know what Flair's doing? He's doing autograph singings at high school gymnasiums and tell-all interviews to low-rent websites, basically selling his face and his name to anybody who will give him a paycheck - and that is absolutely pathetic." He said Flair is tarnishing his legacy for one last shot at the spotlight, one more kick, one more chance. "Flair has a sickness and he's not alone." He said all of these legends need to be put in their place, and he's begging WWE to revoke their status as Hall of Famers and to continue to "leech off the business." John Cena interrupted, saying, "Enough, enough, enough, enough, enough, enough. Stop."

[Q4]

Cena said if not the legends he's ripping, he couldn't even stand in the ring. He mocked him for using big words and wanting to prove some big point. "You're not fooling anybody. We know you're an idiot," he said. He mocked Jericho for always reminding people about being the first Undisputed Unified Champion, which is his way of hanging onto the past. He said Jericho has been fired twice, but he's back and still won't shut up. He said he's going to shut him up the only way he knows how, which is by knocking his teeth down his throat.

-Cole and Lawler were shown on camera reacting to Jericho and Cena. Lawler wondered what Flair thinks about what Jericho said about him personally.

-They showed Rey Mysterio and Kofi Kingston heading toward the entrance tunnel.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- KOFI KINGSTON & REY MYSTERIO vs. KANE & MIKE KNOX

Cole said Kofi's win over Kane was one of the biggest upsets in recent memory. During Knox's ring intro, they showed photos of Knox's house show victory in a six-man battle royal over the weekend to earn placement in the Elimination Chamber. Kofi dropkicked Kane out of the ring early. They cut to an early break.

[Commercial Break]

-An ECW commercial aired, focusing on D.J. Gabriel and Alicia Fox's dancing.

Back in the ring, Kane and Kofi battled. Rey tagged in at 6:00 and took it to Kane, including diving on Kane at ringside. Knox tagged in. When he had Rey in the air for a powerslam, Kofi blind-tagged in and stopped the move, and then hit Knox with a double legdrop for a near fall at 8:00.

[Q5]

Knox gave Kofi a big kick to the face for a near fall a minute later. Kane tagged back in and his a sideslam and a backbreaker. Lawler said he's heard you can tell what Knox had for dinner by looking at his beard. Kofi came back at 9:00 with an enzuigiri. Kane got up and gave Rey a cheapshot kick to the face. He dragged Kofi to his corner and tagged in Knox. Kofi crawled over to hot-tag Rey at 10:00. Rey got back up onto the ring apron, but Kane dragged Kofi away from the corner before they could tag. A minute later Kofi did get the hot-tag to Rey. Rey took Kane down and hit the springboard legdrop for a near fall, broken up by Knox. Kofi flew at Knox at ringside, but Knox countered with a knee to Kofi's gut. Rey set up Kane for a 619, but Knox blocked it. Rey dove at Kane seconds later, but Kane caught him and slammed him for the win.

WINNER: Kane & Knox at 12:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Nice tag match. A big heels versus undersized babyfaces tag team match executed well.

-They went to Stephanie and Shane walking backstage. Steph was giving Shane sage-like advice about being careful. She said Sunday is a big night. Orton, Cody, and DiBiase jumped Shane, and in the process knocked Steph down, too. When security intervened, the three heels took them out, too. Shane actually stayed down, showing he is human after all. Orton moved in for a punt kick, but he stopped and looked over at Steph instead. As she struggled to get up, Orton wound up and kicked at her. Shane dove in and blocked it with his ribs. Orton snapped out of his spell, like Festus when the bell rings, and backed off. Steph asked if Shane was okay and wondered what happened. Orton gulped and grabbed at his head, blinking hard, as DiBiase and Rhodes stood by him looking on.

[Commercial Break]

-Cole threw to a replay of the "harrowing" incident before the break of Legacy jumping Shane and Steph. Lawler wondered if Orton had lost his mind. "He claims to have some sort of explosive disorder, but I think he's just sick," said Lawler. Lawler added that based on the look on Orton's face, he knew he did wrong. Cole and Lawler ran down the line-up of No Holds Barred: Orton vs. Shane in a No Holds Barred match, the Smackdown Elimination Chamber (Triple H, Undertaker, Big Show, Edge, plus two more), Raw Elimination Chamber (Rey, Cena, Knox, Jericho, Kofi, and one more).

[Q6]

-A video package aired on WrestleMania X including clips of the celebrities on hand, Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon in the ladder match, and Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart. They touted Michaels-Ramon as the "first-ever televised ladder match."

-They showed JBL watching a monitor backstage, getting ready for his Employee Appraisal of Michaels.

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial aired hyping Smackdown this Friday featuring Triple H & Undertaker vs. Edge & The Big Show in the main event.

-Did You Know? More men watched Smackdown last Friday than ABC's "20/20" or NBC's "Dateline."

-They showed the exterior of the "Scottrade Center" in St. Louis, Mo.

4 -- CANDICE MICHELLE vs. "GLAMAZON" BETH PHOENIX (w/Santino Marella, Rosa Mendez)

Glamazon took control early. Candice made a comeback. Glamazon, though, finished off Candice a minute later.

WINNER: Phoenix in 3:00.

-Cole and Lawler announced that they just received word that Ric Flair would return to Raw next week. Ratings will go up.

[Commercial Break]

-JBL's music played. He stepped out of his limo and walked to the ring, looking very serious the whole time. He asked Michaels to come to the ring. Michaels walked out to his music. Lawler said Michaels lost everything he had during this financial crisis and now has had to work for JBL to provide for his family. A fan held up a sign that said: "John Bradshaw Lardfilled." JBL said he offered to help Michaels out of a financial crisis after years and years of bad investments and frivolous generosity to his friends and family. He said he has fulfilled his end of the proposal. Michaels said, "Yes you have."

JBL said he had only one reason to hire him to assure he'd go to WrestleMania 25 as the champion. He said that begs for him to face some introspection: "Did you fulfill your end?" Michaels said he hired him to be sure he was World Heavyweight Champion going into WrestleMania, and since then he's humiliated himself in multiple ways. He listed some of the shameful things he's done for him. JBL said the answer is no, so he's tempted to release him from his contract. He asked Michaels if that's what he wants. Michaels said, "To be honest, what I want is to kick your teeth down your throat." The crowd popped. JBL smiled and said, "Sure you do. I'm positive you do."

He told him if he does that he loses his job, he's broke, he's a pathetic deadbeat, and he makes all of those so-called humiliations pointless. He said if he does that, he causes his family to suffer. Michaels shook his head and asked, "What do you want from me?" JBL made him a proposal. "You versus me at No Way Out, winner take all."

He said he's under a one year contract to him, but if he beats him at No Way Out, he'll pay him everything he owes him and he'll never have to worry about money again, but if he wins, he owns Michaels. "I own the Heartbreak Kid and you work for me for the rest of your life," he said. "It's all or nothing, Shawn, and the ball is going to be in your court." He said if he owns his name, he can make a movie about his life and he has to endorse it. "If I want to build a restaurant named Shawn Michaels and I want to put you in a monkey outfit and have you dance in front of it, you'll be a dancing monkey working for JBL." Great line. He said he can make money off of his name, better than he can, long after his career is done, long after he's dead, not his wife, children, or grandchildren. He said if he loses, one day his kids will look up at him with tears in their eyes, wonder why he's working for JBL, and ask, "Weren't we worth fighting for, daddy?" Michaels welled up got in JBL's face and said, "I accept."

JBL said he wanted to be sure they're clear that if he puts his hands on him between now and No Way Out, the deal is dead forever. He poked him in the chest a few times and asked if he gets what's on the line. He told him he's rolling the dice and he's a broken down old man, and there's no way now he can beat the Wrestling God. He slapped him and told him he should have just got fired. Michaels's face quivered as he held himself back and then stepped out of the ring. Michaels acting here ended up a bit off-kilter, but the storyline hits home with a lot of people in this economy, as kids relate to their parents having hardships and making sacrifices, or dads relate to feeling trapped financially working for someone they despise.

-They quickly plugged Chris Jericho vs. John Cena.

[Q8]

[Commercial Break]

-An ECW commercial plugged Jack Swagger vs. Finlay.

-They replayed the Orton-McMahons backstage incident from earlier in the show.

-A teared-up, emotional Stephanie approached Kane and asked if it's set. Kane said: "He'll be here." Steph said, "Then it's official. At No Way Out, you'll be in the Elimination Chamber, and next week Randy Orton goes one-on-one with the Undertaker." So Steph negotiated Kane's entry into the Chamber in exchange for Undertaker visiting Raw to face Orton just six days before Orton faces her brother Shane. It just wouldn't be an Elimination Chamber without Kane.

5 -- CHRIS JERICHO vs. JOHN CENA

Cena unleashed on Jericho at the bell. When he turned his back, though, to take off his t-shirt, Jericho jumped him from behind and yanked his t-shirt over his head. Cena took control for a minute until at 3:00 they spilled to ringside where Jericho kicked Cena into the announce table. That somehow caused him to be completely knocked out as they cut to a break. Really weak. I mean, Jericho shoved Cena in the announce table, and Cena sold it like he had just been punt kicked in the face by a steel-toed boot.

[Commercial Break]

After the break, Jericho had Cena in a chinlock. The high-def audio sure picks up the calling of spots. Jericho's calling of spots wasn't subtle at all during the match. Cena avoided a charging Jericho at 9:00 and Jericho went shoulder-first into the ringpost. Cena made a full comeback and then went into the You Can't See Me routine. He took so long that Jericho grabbed him during the hand-wave and then went for a Walls of Jericho. Cena escaped and went for an STF, but Jericho turned it into a small package for a near fall. Jericho caught Cena with the Lionsault for a near fall. Cena came back and hit a Five Knuckle Shuffle and then lifted him for the FU, which Lawler said he now calls the "Attitude Adjuster." Jericho escaped and caught a charging Cena with a big boot. Cena came back with another FU attempt. Jericho slipped out and applied the Walls of Jericho. Cena struggled to reach the bottom rope. Jericho pulled him back to mid-ring. Cena eventually reversed it into an STF for a sudden tapout win.

WINNER: Cena in 12:00.

STAR RATING: *** -- Really good TV main event. That overselling at ringside before the break was weak, but otherwise a good match between two pros.

-Cole closed with another plug for Flair's return to Raw. The rating for that show will be big, although Flair will have to share credit with Undertaker, making an extremely rare in-ring appearance on Raw. They went back to Cena's post-win celebration for a few seconds as Cole thanked everyone for joining them live from St. Louis.

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