By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
FEBRUARY 7, 2009
AIRED ON MY NETWORK TV

[Q1]

-After the Smackdown opening, Tazz and Jim Ross introduced the show. They hyped the big main event - Undertaker & Triple H vs. Edge & Big Show.

1 -- BATTLE ROYAL - Elimination Chamber Qualifier

They aired the ring intros of Vladimir Kozlov and The Great Khali. The rest of the wrestlers were already in the ring. "If you are the largest man in a battle royal, not that I would know, you are usually the first man targeted," said Tazz. Funny. Vickie Guerrero came out and said, "Excuse me!" Vickie said if Jeff Hardy recovers in time, he'll be in the Chamber, which means there is room for just one more "Superstar." And that slot will be determined in this match. Scotty Goldman made his big return to SD only to be eliminated within five seconds with little fanfare. He did get a quick plug for his WWE.com webcast, though. Kizarny was eliminated next. After all that fanfare for his debut and they've done almost nothing with him since his debut. MVP eliminated Shelton Benjam, but then Chavo Guerrero quickly eliminated MVP. Shelton hit MVP from behind at ringside. As the referees ordered him to the back, they cut to a break at 5:00.

[Commercial Break]

Khali eliminated Chavo and Kung Funaki after the break He pressed The Brian Kendrick over his head and dropped him onto Khali and Funaki. Khali then eliminated Zach Ryder and Curt Hawkins at once, but Kozlov then dumped Khali over the top rope. He then took on the reminaing wrestlers - Carlito, Primo Colon, and R-Truth, who triple-dropkicked Kozlov. Ross said he slipped on ice and looked like Kozlov did taking the dropkick. Primo and Carlito tried to eliminate Kozlov, but Kozlov dumped them over the top. He gave R-Truth the Battering Ram and easily eliminated him to win.

WINNER: Kozlov in 10:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Not bad for a TV battle royal.

-Tazz noted that Triple H, Undertaker, Edge, Big Show, Jeff Hardy, and Kozlov are entered in the Elimination Chamber. Ross hyped the main event tag again.

[Q2]

[Commercial Break]

-The so-called "25th Anniversary Moments" video aired looking back at WrestleMania 2 (which was the FIRST anniversary of WrestleMania, by the way).

-Todd Grisham interviewed Hurricane Helms. Helms looked shaken up. He was wearing a t-shirt with his old Hurricane mask gimmick on it. Grisham said he wanted his thoughts, as a lifelong friend of the Hardys, on what Matt Hardy did to Jeff a the Royal Rumble. After the clip, Helm said at first he was as surprised as anybody, but thinking back, he shouldn't have been. He said Matt's always had a bit of an ego, "but this was our dream, man. All we ever dreamed of was becoming WWE Champion." He said Jeff finally got there, and then Matt pulled this stunt and took it all away. He said he doesn't think Matt became a new person at the Rumble. "I think he simply revealed the kind of person he's been all along - a self-centered egotistical jerk." He said Jeff may not be here tonight, but he is he will find him. That was Helms's best promo. It'd be good to make Matt's turn more convincing pull out some concrete examples of Matt being self-centered over the years, either made up from their pre-WWE years or even clips of the "Matt Facts" that showed how "into himself he was" back then and any other clues they can dig out of the archives.

-Backstage Edge talked to Vickie about having to defend his title in the most dangerous match ever invented. Vickie said he's made a career of defying the odds and she believes in him. Big Show walked in and asked if he wants a pep talk tonight. Edge told him not to date take that tone with him. He said Vickie will remove him from the Chamber if he walks out on him again during their tag match later. Show sarcastically said, "Take it easy, slim. Besides, I believe in you!" This whole Show-Vickie-Edge dynamic is weird. I don't have any idea what they're trying to get across, as Show isn't coming across as likable, and Edge is being Edge. I do think we're a year or two away from Edge going from the best heel in wrestling to a top babyface.

-A commercial aired for the WWE Voices CD.

[Commercial Break]

-WWE Fact: "More men watched Smackdown last Friday than 20/20 or Dateline." Again?! I need new facts each week to fuel my belief in WWE!

-Matt Hardy stood center ring and told Helms that he doesn't have to find him since he's standing right there. He told him if he has such a big problem with him, come down to the ring and do something about it. Helms walked right out and charged into the ring. They brawled immediately.

[Q3]

After a minute, Matt tried to bail out into the crowd, but Helms grabbed him. Hardy reverse-whipped Helms into the ringside steps. Hardy dragged Helms back into the ring, locked his arms, and elbowed him repeatedly in the head until he was knocked out. That pretty much established where those two are on the pecking order; no surprise that Hardy would look strong against Helms, but given Helms's motivation and the even circumstances, for Hardy to knock him out cold like that in two minutes is a virtual Helms burial, not the start of a sidebar feud for those two.

-Ross plugged the main event tag team match again.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. MVP

Before the match, Shelton said people don't pay him the respect he deserves as the longest-reigning champion of any of WWE's brands. He then went on to insult Peyton Manning in one of those localized cheap heat promos that should never make national TV because who cares outside of the local sports market about the local athlete they're using to turn the fans against them. In 30 out of 31 NFL markets, Shelton basically just turned himself babyface by insulting a rival team's QB. There was no crowd heat anyway as fans have been given no reason to like MVP or care either way about the long-time loser in one of the more disappointing conclusions to a long storyline in WWE mid-card history. When Shelton locked MVP in an abdominal stretch variation, some fans chanted "MVP," but it didn't last long. MVP surprised Shelton with a sudden overhead released suplex for a two count. Shelton came back with a German suplex into a bridge for a near fall. Shelton hit a Stinger Splash in the corner at 3:00. MVP avoided a second Stinger Splash. MVP fired back with a boot to the face and a three count. Ross said the win puts MVP back in the U.S. Title hunt.

WINNER: MVP in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Good five minute TV match. They fit a lot into that short match, but it didn't frenetic or rushed.

[Q4]

-Carlito and Primo flirted with the Bella Twins backstage. R-Truth walked by them and asked, "What's up?" He led them to the ring for the six-man tag match. As they walked toward the entrance set, R-Truth told them they're too much, as if they were flustered by the sexual energy of the Bella Twins. He smiled as he tried to get them to concentrate on the task ahead.

-A plug aired for the Starrcade DVD.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- CARLITO & PRIMO COLON & R-TRUTH vs. MIZ & JOHN MORRISON & BRIAN KENDRICK

A number of these wrestlers are pulling double-duty. I remember back in the day when participating in a battle royal was sold as one of the most dangerous matches because you could get blind-sided repeatedly from all directions and then thrown over the top rope and have a bad landing. Now it's an opening TV match and the wrestlers eliminated come back and fight at 100 percent with no mention of it even being their second match of the show. Kendrick got pressed and dropped to the floor by Khali. To be 100 percent an hour later does weaken the notion that big drops onto the floor hurt. At 2:00 Kendrick got in some sustained offense on Truth. Tazz said he was at a restaurant before where Morrison was with a couple women and he just tortured the waiter. Carlito hot-tagged in at 5:00. Miz and Morrison broake up a pin attempt by Carlito on Kendrick. Six-way action broke out. Truth hit a corkscrew elbow. Kendrick surprised Carlito with The Kendrick for the win.

WINNERS: Kendrick & Miz & Morrison at 6:00.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Another good short TV match.

-Ross plugged that Jeff Hardy will be on Smackdown next week.

[Q5]

-A video package aired on Michelle McCool and Eve. Ross said Eve's first match ever on Smackdown will take place next.

[Commercial Break]

-A short vignette aired on Maryse.

4 -- EVE vs. MICHELLE MCCOOL

McCool took early control. When Eve made a comeback, McCool bailed out to ringside. McCool pretended to have an eye injury, lulling Eve into letting her guard down. McCool took her down with a clothesline. She applied a half Boston crab with one of her feet stepping on Eve's hair. She looked at the crowd and said, "Too easy!" McCool makes more noise than a female tennis player when she wrestles. At 3:00 Eve made a comeback with two dropkicks. McCool won a minute later with a heel kick submission. When she didn't release the hold right away, Maria ran out. McCool bailed out as Maria trash-talked her from inside the ring.

WINNER: McCool in 4:00.

STAR RATING: * -- Solid short women's TV match.

-Ross interviewed Matt Hardy about the news that Jeff Hardy will be back next week. Matt opened by saying he doesn't have a brother anymore. He said before each and every fan gets excited about the grand return of Jeff, "just remember, a lot can happen in seven days." He said it'd be "extremely unfortunate" if Jeff suffered another accident. He said he'll be ready to welcome him with open arms if he does show up. He was very smarmy, like Eric Bischoff as a WCW on-air heel. Except he didn't say "pond scum."

[Q6]

[Commercial Break]

-The WrestleMania X flashback aired.

5 -- UMAGA vs. KUNG FUNAKI

Umaga came out to his "Tribal Trouble" theme intro song. They threw to a clip of Umaga beating Jimmy Wang Yang last week. Umaga took Funaki out early with a kick, dragged him to the corner and butt-bashed him, and then finished him with the Samoan Spike.

WINNER: Umaga in 1:00.

-The went backstage to Triple H sitting in the locker room taping his fists.

[Commercial Break]

-The Raw Rebound aired.

[Q7]

-Tazz and Ross hyped the line-up for the No Way Out PPV. At least Ross said, when hyping the Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton match, "You have to wonder if Shane hasn't made a huge mistake." Finally someone acknowledges the obvious - which is that Shane shouldn't be seen as having a chance in hell against Orton.

-Ring intros aired for Edge and then Big Show. Ross and Tazz played up potential tension and trust-issues between Show and Edge.

[Commercial Break]

6 -- EDGE & THE BIG SHOW vs. UNDERTAKER & TRIPLE H

They aired the ring intros for Triple H and Undertaker after the break. Ross said all four men in the ring want to be WWE Champion. Show started the match. Triple H and Taker discussed who'd start, and Taker volunteered. Triple H happily obliged. It was more than ten minutes from the start of ring intros to the first lock-up. Taker outpunched Show at the start. Show made a comeback with a clothesline at 1:00 and tagged in Edge. Taker backed Edge into the corner of the ring and threw a barrage of punches and a headbutt. Trple H tagged in and charged at Edge, but Edge caught him with a boot. Triple H came right back with a near Pedigree. Edge slipped out and rolled to the floor. Show told Edge that was close. They cut to a break.

[Q8]

[Commercial Break]

Triple H was on offense after the break against Edge. Show tagged himself in blindly and surprised a showboating Triple H with a clothesline. Show and Edge methodically dominated Triple H for a couple minutes. Show splashed Triple H as Edge held him down at 9:00 for a near fall. Edge went for a spear, but Triple H moved. Edge tagged Show just as Triple H was about to hot-tag Taker. Show stepped on Triple H's chest and then went for the corner swing splash, but Triple H moved. After recovering, Show charged Triple H in the corner. Triple H lifted a boot and then gave Show a DDT off the second rope. Taker paced on the ring apron, eager to tag in before Show tagged Edge. Show did tag Edge first, but Taker got tagged in also, and he went to work on Edge. He gave him a Snake Eyes and a big boot, then walked the top rope and came off with a forearm to Edge's neck. Edge countered with a sudden spear, but Taker slipped on his submission out of nowhere. Show then interfered by legdroppin Taker, breaking up the hold. Taker tagged in Triple H who went to work on Edge with a quick Pedigree attempt. Show interfered with a chokeslam illegally. Show then stood Edge onto his feet. Edge shoved him. Show, showing little patience, KO'd Edge with one punch. He stood back on the ring apron and watched as Taker tagged in and Tombstoned Edge for the win. As Edge lay unmoving in the ring, Taker walked to the stage, but shot a look back at Triple H in the ring as the show ended.

WINNERS: Undertaker & Triple H in 15:00.

STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Good big-name main event with enough time to tell a good story. The Show-Edge finish takes their issue to the next level.

-A commercial aired hyping Jeff Hardy's return next Friday on Smackdown.

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