By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
FEBRUARY 19, 2009
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.

-The show opened with Jeremy Borash holding the mic up to Jim Cornette in Jeff Jarrett's office as he complained about Kurt Angle vs. Sting taking place in an empty arena with no referee. He said it could get them in trouble with their insurance company. Mick Foley was sitting on a couch behind him. Cornette asked Foley to talk some sense into Jarrett. Foley suggested they fight at halftime of the Super Bowl. (You see, everything Foley talks about is related to himself, and he once wrestled on a show called "Halftime Heat," and he lives in the past and thinks wrestling fans do too and that they are as enamored with his career accomplishments as he is.) Cornette said he wants to talk to Jarrett more, but not on national TV. He shoed Borash out of the room.

-The TNA Impact opening aired. Then Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show. Tenay wondered if tonight was the beginning of the end for the Main Event Mafia. West said Angle wants to clear the locker room and the Impact Zone. Tenay said we may be in store for the most unique episode of Impact in TNA history. West said if Angle has his way, the entire Impact Zone will be empty of everybody except Sting and Angle. Tenay said he's never been part of anything like this in his broadcast career. Angle's music interrupted.

-Kurt Angle walked to the ring. Angle asked Cornette to step aside and let "founder" Jarrett make a good decision for one. Angle said when he started the Main Event Mafia, the only way it could be brought down is to be brought down from the inside, if the boys put themselves first and the family last. He said Sting has done that. "It's either you or me," he said. "And Jeff Jarrett, you have the power to make that happen." He said all he asks is he clears the whole entire arena so there's no distraction, just he and Sting. Angle told Jarrett an offer like that doesn't come around very often so take advantage of it. "It's real, it's damn real," he concluded. Tenay said he's never seen Angle more serious.

-Lauren interviewed Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley. Sabin said the Frontline locker room is beginning to make him sick. He said all he and Alex have done is worry about themselves and not bother anyone else. He said they're loving, kind, pay taxes, and put everyone above themselves. Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed charged in and attacked them. Tenay, showing no sense of outrage of the inappropriate attack by the babyfaces, just said "they're getting the first shots in."

[Commercial Break]

1 -- MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS vs. LETHAL CONSEQUENCES - No Holds Barred Street Fight

The wrestlers brawled to ringside where the bell rang to officially start the match. Tenay said this is a battle of two teams associated with Frontline. Frontline seems so weakened and inconsequential right now in the big picture of TNA. At 2:00 Sabin dove through the ropes at Creed, but Creed held up a chair to block it. Lethal dropkicked Sabin in the corner and then Creed hit a bulldog off the second rope. Creed then flip dove over the top rope onto Sabin.

[Q2]

A minute later Shelley dove over the top rope toward Lethal, who hit him with a chair. Sabin avoided a Creed legdrop off the top rope in the ring. Sabin set up a chair mid-ring and then dropped him over the chair. Creed pretty much blocked it. Lethal saved Creed from a Cradle Shock by Sabin. Lethal then sent Sabin face-first into the chair and scored a two count, broken up by Shelley. Sabin hit Lethal across the back with a chair. Shelley slammed Lethal to the mat and scored a near fall, broken up by Creed. Sabin swung his X Title belt at Creed, but Creed ducked and the belt KO'd Sabin. Lethal charged at Shelley, who backdropped onto a ladder at ringside. Creed lifted Shelley, but Sabin hit Creed with the belt and Shelley scored the pin.

WINNERS: Guns in 6:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Nonstop crisp action. It felt like 20 minutes of highspots packed into six, but that's a TV formatting issue, not the fault of the wrestlers, who are given six minutes to make the most of.

-Backstage Borash interviewed Cornette who said Jarrett has made a decision he disagrees with. He said tonight the Impact Zone will be emptied of every human being including staff except the camera crew to document and announcers. That includes the Main Event Mafia and security, of course. Foley was Bogarting in the background taming notes and chewing on something. Jarrett massaged Borash's shoulder and said, "It's going to be pretty exciting." Borash looked at him very strangely. More strangely than is normal for the emotive Borash.

[Commercial Break]

-Tenay hyped that it's now official - Angle vs. Sting - empty arena match. They went backstage to the Main Event Mafia. Scott Steiner told Angle it doesn't have to be this way. Angle said Sting has been disrespectful to them for weeks. Booker asked, "In who's opinion?" He said he's been up and down the road and others have been more disrespectful to him than Sting. Angle proposed a two-on-one match so Booker could team with "your buddy, Sting." Nash separated them and yelled for Sharmell to get her husband out of there. Borash and the camera followed Booker and Sharmell out of the room. Borash asked if it's the end of the Mafia. He said Angle just called him out. AJ. Styles jumped Booker in the hallway and Sharmell ran away screaming. Styles said at Destination X he ends his legendary status.

-Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode, James Storm) and Jacqueline walked to the ring. Roode said there have been some exciting things on the show so far, but to them it's been mostly boring. He said they are the TNA Tag Team Champions "and that means we are the best." He said just like the slumping economy, they have knocked down every single team that has been put in the ring with them. He said being the fighting champions they are, they have come up with a special idea - an idea that is going to raise the stakes here in TNA "that much higher." He said it's an idea they like to call the "Off the Wagon Challenge." He handed the mic to Storm. Storm explained that they will put the tag titles on the line against anybody, anytime as long as you put your TNA career on the line. He said if you lose, you have to leave forever. He said the challenge is even extended to Tenay and West. Tenay geekily exclaimed: "What?!?!"

[Q3]

-Lauren interviewed Roxxi and Taylor Wilde. Roxxi said they're sure the broncos Storm has been riding are bleeping ponies next to her and Roxxi. The Gov said that was so bad. "Come on, this is a family show, don't you know," she said. "I would never let my 12 kids be exposed to this." The Gov said it's so easy to screw with the Beautiful People, why stop now and go back to Alaska and gut moose. Wilde said they're going to knock the BP out of the fantasy land they live in. Wilde said due to "Spike TV rules" (she actually did air quotes for some reason while saying that), Kip can't touch them, which means "it's three of us against the two of you" and thus their odds "suck."

[Commercial Break]

-They went to another therapy session with Abyss and Dr. Stevie. They showed the back of Stevie Richards's head again as Abyss lay back in a chair and talked about loving the weapons and blood in hardcore matches. "I don't know what it is about pain - whether it's mine or theirs - it just brings me a sense of pleasure that can't be matched." Stevie said their time is up and he'd see him same time, same place next week. Abyss laughed maniacally.

2 -- SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR & MATT MORGAN & BRUTUS MAGNUS vs. SHANE SEWELL & LAX (Homicide & Hernandez)

Shane came out onto the stage wearing his ref shirt, then rips it off. Morgan's shoulder is still taped. Tenay noted that Hernandez still has a World Title match he can activate at any time because his last match was tainted. West said he can't wait for the empty arena match between Kurt Angle and Sting. Bashir swung a chair at Sewell at ringside, but ref Earl Hebner yanked Sewell out of the path. Sewell hot-tagged Hernandez who cleaned house on the heels. Homicide dove through the ropes onto Morgan at ringside as Hernandez gave Bashir a sit-out powerbomb for a near fall, broken up by Mag us. Sewell tossed Magnus over the top rope. Hernandez gave Bashir a Border Toss, then taggede in Sewell who hit a top rope elbow and scored the pin on his rival.

WINNERS: LAX & Sewell in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Too short to be a full star, but good action for the time it lasted, although a little frenetic and rushed, too.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

-Tenay threw to the latest segment hosted by Mick Foley titled "Hardcore History 101."

-Foley said over the last week he's been trying to think of the most important his career. So it's not "Hardcore History 101," it's "Foley History 101." Foley talked about bursting out of a refrigerator box, which he said was nicer than an apartment he had, then he laughed at his own joke. He said never before has he dropped an elbow as beautifully as he did on Sting back in his early WCW days. He said he prayed for his safety and felt he was fighting for his family's welfare. There was actually not context to this in terms of the year or the setting or why it was important - only that it happened and it was something he prayed about ahead of time. He closed: "The rest, as they say, is Hardcore History." This is Mick talking about himself, but not really putting the moment in time into actual perspective regarding the "hardcore wrestling" movement.

-As they went to Tenay and West at ringside, Jim Cornette stepped out and said two guys in the locker room who haven't teamed in a couple years are going to get back together and face Beer Money for the tag team titles. West asked for details. Cornette said he'd find out when Beer Money find out.

-Lauren interviewed Scott Steiner, who was doing curls backstage with dumbbells. Steiner said the MEM will be stronger because of what Angle and Sting are going through, they just have work through a few kinks. As Lauren tried to ask about Samoa Joe, Steiner said if she wants to work out with him, she should take off her clothes and lie down on a bench. He then got to Joe as he began bench pressing. "I'm beaten him before and I'll beat him again. He's still a fat bastard. The only way I'd be afraid of him is if I was smothered in a Twinkie or I was dressed as a hamburger... Now go take your clothes off." Joe walked up and shoved the bench press bar onto his chest. Joe said, "I'm here, Scott. Right now I can crush that freshly repaired sternum." Steiner struggled and coughed. He told him to think long and hard about what he'll do to him at Destination X. He said the Nation of Violence is coming and "Joe is going to kill you."

[Commercial Break]

-Lauren asked Soujourner Bolt how her match against Awesome Kong is sitting with the rest of the Kongtourage. Bolt asked if somebody was going to do something about it. She plans to take the title. Lauren said she seems really confident when Kong is nowhere around. Bolt said she's going to keep it real. Raesha Saeed walked in and angrily said she talks too much and she must not have understood her earlier. Bolt said she heard her, but she didn't listen. "Nobody tells me what to do unless you're my mama, and you're not my mama," she said. Saeed said that is going to be a big problem.

-A vignette aired on the Main Event Mafia with an assemblage of clips of them touting how good and famous they are.

[Q5]

3 -- ANGELINA LOVE (w/Velvet Sky, Cute Kip) vs. TAYLOR WILDE (w/The Governor, Roxxi)

West said the Beautiful People haven't been able to get over how stupid and gullible they looked when they bought into The Governor's act. When Kip interfered early, the refs ordered him to the back. He put in an obligatory protest. When Taylor made a comeback at 3:00, Sky jumped onto the ring apron. Ref Rudy Charles walked over to her. Tenay said he can't blame the ref for being distracted by Sky. What?!?! I know it's really important for the sex appeal of women to overwhelm a professionalism by hetero man standing near by, but Tenay should not be endorsing the ref leaving his duties as a ref because he's smitten by a woman within spitball distance of him. And it's unfair to the ref, because he was trying to get Sky off the apron, not flirting with her. The Gov tripped Love coming off the ropes as the ref argued with Roxxi and Sky at ringside. Taylor then schoolgirled the distracted Sky for the win.

WINNER: Wilde in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Short, decent action, but mostly the story told was the interference by Kip and Gov.

-A video aired of animals humping leading into clips of fans who sent in videos asking ODB to take them on dates. It appeared only clips of men were shown so far even though ODB left it open to both genders.

[Commercial Break]

-West plugged upcoming house shows and on-sale dates.

-Jeremy Borash interviewed Sting, the soccer-dad who dresses up in make-up and hangs out in rafters for some unexplained reason. Borash said whatever Angle wants, he's going to get at this point. He said he went into Against All Odds to win, which is what a champion is supposed to do. He said Angle should have known he wanted the belt as much as him, if not more. He said Angle is jealous over what he has and he won't let him have it. Sting said "aside from a chosen few" if anyone in TNA gets their hands on the TNA World Title belt, it's going to be tarnished. He told Angle to promise him that the cameras will be rolling later because he's at his best when it's Showtime. Why are fans leaving the arena? What's the reason behind it? Maybe they explained that at the start of the show, but what's it supposed to accomplish for Angle?

[Q6]

-A video package aired hyping the Ultimate X match with Alex Shelley, Hernandez, A.J. Styles, and others. The theme was whether X Division wrestler or heavyweights have an advantage in the match. The consensus was X Division guys can more easily scale the cables more easily to get to the X.

4 -- BEER MONEY INC. (Robert Roode & James Storm w/Miss Jacqueline) vs. PETEY WILLIAMS & ERIC YOUNG -- TNA Tag Team Titles or Loser Leaves TNA at stake

Team Canada reunites. Tenay and West said they liked everything that was on the line in this match. Young and Petey got early control and Beer Money took a powder. At 2:00 Jackie held onto Young's ankle, and that gave Roode the chance to blindside Young.

[Commercial Break]

Beer Money remained in control after the break. Young hot-tagged Petey at 9:00. West said Petey was "fresh, frustrated, and ready to go." We've all been there, Don. Petey showed great fire, rehearsing for WWE and indy promoters everywhere. Roode blocked the Canadian Destroyer, but Young helped turn it into a DDT as a consoluation. Petey hit a top rope legdrop on Roode for a convincing dramatic near fall. As Team Canada set up a double suplex on Storm, but Roode walked up and turned it into a Tower of Doom. Roode charged Young, who backdropped him over the top rope. Young went after Roode at ringside as Jackie went for a splash off the top rope onto Petey on the mat. Petey set her up for the Canadian Destroyer. Tenay said Spike TV executives wouldn't like that (Translation: TNA would love to beat these women up for you sexually-frustrated woman-hating men, but the darn Powers that Be at the network won't let us.) Roode grabbed Petey's leg. Storm superkicked him. The ref counted to three. West: "Petey Williams is gone from TNA." They showed a close-up of Petey taking in the ramifications of what just happened. Don't worry, Petey, the Curry Man costume is waiting for you in back. Pete cried as hard as "Big" John Studd did when I saw him lose a loser leaves town match to Baron Von Rasche in about 1981 or 1982. That's when I *knew* wrestling was real.

WINNERS: Beer Money Inc. in 11:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Good tag match.

[Q7]

-Lauren interviewed Rhino and Team 3D. Rhino calmly told her that he doesn't agree with the platform that Angle and Sting stand on. Rhino said as wrestlers they go to the ring and wrestle. He said there are security and police officers and referees to be sure there's an outcome to the match. He said muscles tear and bones break. Brother Ray interjected and joked that he tore an ab muscle once doing crunches. Rhino said tonight is different because nobody is going to be able to "stop the mayhem." He explained that meant, "Someone from getting maimed or even killed." He said he hopes and prays Sting and Angle survive. Ray said: "I love you and all and respect you, but why do you care? Why do you care about Kurt Angle and Sting? They don't care about you, they don't care about us, they don't care about TNA? Remember what they did to me a couple months ago?" He said he hopes they cripple each other tonight. Ray said he hopes neither of them will be around next week. Ray said he's got a big roll of singles and suggested they go to the strip club and forget about all of this stupidity. Rhino said he gave up drinking. Devon told Rhino that he got himself "this white chick" and he thinks he'll like her. Rhino said, "She's not fat, is she?" Devon said, "Maybe big boned." They laughed. Rhino indicated she's really fat. Devon tried to take Lauren with them. She said, "I'm not going."

-They showed fans being escorted out of the arena. Yeah, those darn fans cause so many matches to end in DQs and no contests and countouts. If it weren't for those darn fans, we'd always have clean finishes. Huh?

[Commercial Break]

-They showed the other wrestlers leaving the arena. Okay, that makes more sense. Wrestlers interfere in almost every TNA match, so good riddance.

-They went to Lauren in the concourse surrounded by fans. There was one fan I desperately want to see ask President Obama a question at his next press conference.

-A video package aired on Sting's journey joining the Main Event Mafia, and his growing disenchantment, leading to the match between Sting and Angle. Nice video that got across the magnitude of the TV main event. It's still ridiculous this is on free TV seven days after being conceived. This really should have been three or four months from now after another two or three matches between them were chaos really did prevent a conclusive winner in the feud.

-Borash interviewed fans outside the Impact Zone who seemed really happy about being kicked out of the arena. They all picked Sting as the winner.

-As they showed the empty Impact Zone, Tenay said it was an eerie and odd sight. He said there will be no control later when Sting fights Angle. At least within this show they did a good job making this seem like a big deal.

-Kurt Angle's ring intro aired.

[Q8]

[Commercial Break]

5 -- KURT ANGLE vs. STING -- Empty Arena Match

Sting's ring intro concluded. They briefly showed fans cheering while watching on a monitor outside the arena. Angle and Sting exchanged punches early. Sting knocked Angle over the top rope to the floor. They brawled into the empty floor chair area. They showed a split screen of fans cheering. The audio of the cheers helped the awkwardness of the grunts and noises of the two wrestlers fighting in silence otherwise. Sting dumped Angle over a fence and to the floor below. It was too dark to really see the landing, but it looked pretty cool. Sting chased Angle down, but Angle met him with a metal crash bin and took control of the fight. Angle yelled, "I hate you!" as he beat on Sting. Sting whipped Angle back to ringside. Angle avoided a Sting charge against the railing and then gave him a low-blow. Angle said he was going to end Sting's career and he called him a "stupid son of a bitch." Sting blocked the chairshot and then hit Angle across the back with it. Angle begged off. Sting said he deserved it. Angle said, "I'm sorry, Sting. I swear to God, I'm sorry." Sting told Angle to take it like a man. Why didn't Angle just get up and fight back. Kevin Nash walked up and watched as Angle got up and told the "bitch" to hit him. As Sting wound up, Nash and Scott Steiner walked up and took his chair. Nash said that was enough. He claimed Angle said as long as they were family, nothing could get between them. He yelled, "Make this right! Make htis right!" Steiner told Angle to shake Sting's hand. Sting said he could do it. He held out his hand. He asked if Angle was man enough to do it. "You said no matter what, after Against All Odds, everything would be good," said Sting."Family, family." Sting shook Angle's hand. Angle then spit at Sting. They fought again. Security intervened. Tenay said, "Don't go anywhere, we'll be right back." Maybe I missed something, but if there's security, Nash, and Steiner in this so-called empty arena, then what's the point of it being "empty arena"? It's not as if Steiner and Nash have never interfered. The whole thing was just cringe-inducing at worst and awkward at best.

[Commercial Break]

-Tenay and West recapped what happened. Tenay couldn't believe Angle "spit in the face of The Icon." Really, Mike, you can't believe Angle spit in Sting's face? Is that really worse than anything else he's done?

-Lauren interviewed Sting who yelled viciously that he's never been more disrespect in his life than being spit on while shaking his hand. He said he doesn't care when or how, he'll be there. "I'm all in, Kurt," he said. "You hate me. The feeling is mutual." He then went off camera and shouted like Howard Dean.

-Tenay said he has never seen Sting in that frame of mind. West said Angle must be going crazy, too. Tenay said it's time to hear from him now.

-Borash interviewed Angle, who said he wants Sting's title and his life. He yelled to Nash that Sting is not one of them. Nash said, "You caused this, not Sting. You're the one responsible." Angle said he couldn't shake his hand. He demanded Jeff Jarrett to book them at Destination X.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Some solid in-ring action, some solid promos, and a well-hyped main event (which they rushed into too quickly). The empty-arena concept was pretty much made into a pointless farce once Nash and Steiner strolled in, followed by security members. The arguing is turned up to 11 too much. All of this shouting of "I hate you" and "I want to kill you" is just to much. It seems they think if they book everyone to vow to kill each other and hate each other and yell at the top of their lungs, ratings will go up. It's just too much, even if backed by good booking, but Sting's whole character just isn't believable. His willingness to shake Angle's hand seconds after Angle vowed he hated him and wanted to kill him made him seem like the biggest sucker or wuss, like the guy who finds his girlfriend cheating on him, stealing from him, secretly reading his emails and mocking them to her friends, but as soon as she bats her eyelashes and asks for forgiveness, he caves in instantly. How much disrespect from MEM does Sting need to take before it outdoes whatever disrespect he felt from whoever it was he felt disrespected him in the first place? Was it Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin? Is that what this is all about, why MEM formed in the first place? I don't know anymore.

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