KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
FEBRUARY 21, 2009
PORTLAND, ORE.
AIRED ON MY NETWORK TV

[Q1]

-After clips aired from No Way Out of Edge's title win and explanation on Raw by Vickie Guerrero of why he was allowed to enter the second Elimination Chamber match, they went to the arena where Justin Roberts introduced Edge.

-As Edge made his way to the ring, Jim Ross and Tazz introduced the show. Edge said the fans were anticipating being able to revel in his losing his title, because they're all loses and the want him to sink to their level. He said he thrives on taking chances, and he took a chance by offering his services once he found out Kofi Kingston couldn't participate in the second Chamber match. Boy is that rewriting history. When he "found out" Kofi couldn't compete? He bragged that he is the first wrestler to compete in two Elimination Chamber matches in one night. He said he stands before them for a historic eight time World Heavyweight Champion. His music began playing. How did the music guy know Edge was finished? He barely paused. Anyway, Edge's music was cut off by Jeff Hardy's. Hardy danced onto the stage. Tazz said Jeff's return match for the WWE Title was inside the Chamber and that a one-on-one match might have had a different outcome.

Hardy said, "Edge, you did it, man." He said he walked into No Way Out as a champion and he walked out as a champion. He said some say it takes skill and guts and some call him the ultimate opportunist, but others believe he gets special benefits because he's married to "a pitiful excuse for a general manager." That's not exactly going to get Hardy in his boss's good graces. Edge said it's bad enough he had to go to Raw to address John Cena, and now he has to deal with Jeff threatening him. Hardy said no threats, he's just there to challenge him to a title match tonight. Edge asked, "What give you the right? Are you taking illegal substances again, Jeff?" The crowd oohhed. Edge said he has no claim to a title match. Edge said the fans may want that match, but it's not going to happen no matter what he says or does. "Got it?" he asked. Hardy replied, "Or maybe I could persuade your boss or wife because she does wear the pants in the family. You're a puppet, she pulls the strings, and you dance. Let's face it, if Edge wants to go to the bathroom, he's got to raise his hand." Edge charged at Hardy. Hardy ducked and gave him a Twist of Fate. The crowd popped. Tazz said Edge has been punked out.

-Tazz hyped Ross's interview later with Triple H, really touting it as a must-watch segment. They threw to a recap of the Shane McMahon-Randy Orton situation that led to the Stephanie kick and Triple H running in to cradle her head and fume.

[Q2]

[Commercial Break]

-Kizarney knocked on Vickie Guerrero's door. He acted unintentionally like Eugene and said, "Miazark Miazark." She looked confused and asked, "Who's there?" Edge barged in ad sad he wants to face Jeff Hardy later tonight. Vickie said she can make that happen, but she's not inclined to make it a championship match. Edge said, "Of course not, because that would be stupid." Vickie frowned. Edge apologized.

1 -- MICHELLE MCCOOL & MARYSE vs. MARIA & EVE TORRES-- Non-Title Match

Maria hot-tagged Eve at 3:00 after being isolated by the heels for a couple minutes. Ross said Eve is still in the "developmental process" and it's nice to see her evolve. McCool roundkicked Eve in the face from the ring apron, then Maryse made the pin.

WINNERS: Maryse & McCool in 4:00.

STAR RATING: *

-Ross plugged that highlights of the Bella Twins' date with Miz and John Morrison was up next.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

-They went to the Valentine's Day date. Miz suggested they drink more champaign. He popped a cork that flew at a couple at another table. Morrison was showing off his abs. One of the Bellas asked, "What are you doing? We're in a restaurant." Morrison said, "I'm hot!" He added, "Here's to Valentine's Day with us and not the Colons." Miz complained about the service and belted out, "Hey! Waiter! Over here!" The Bella Twins weren't amused. They fast-forwarded to their meals arriving, and complaining about their food. Miz and Morrison complained about their food being burnt. Morrison pointed to his abs and said he didn't get those by eating butter. Miz demanded a new server. They went back to the kitchen where the Colon Brothers were wearing wigs and screwing with Miz and Morrison's food, pretending to be chefs. They concocted a plan. They walked up to the table and apologized for their terrible service and offered complimentary deserts. Miz and Morrison realized who they were and ripped off their wigs. Primo and Carlito tried to throw pies in the faces of Miz and Morrison, but Miz and Morrison ducked and the pies went in the faces of the Bella Twins. They got upset and stormed off with Miz and Morrison. Primo and Carlito blamed one another for a bad plan.

-Ross plugged that Miz & Morrison have a chance to become undisputed tag champs next week when they face the Colons for their tag titles.

-Shelton Benjamin's ring entrance took place.

[Commercial Break]

-Ross plugged that "Shoot to Thrill" by AC/DC is the official theme of WrestleMania. Tazz plugged the Edge vs. Hardy main event. Ross then plugged his sitdown interview taped earlier in the day with Triple H.

-As R-Truth climbed over the security railing into the ringside area, Shelton and Chavo attacked him before he finished rapping (thus turning babyface?). MVP (who never turned babyface, but suddenly was cast as one) came out as R-Truth's partner. They brawled at ringside, and then they cut to another break.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

2 -- SHELTON BENJAMIN & CHAVO GUERRERO vs. R-TRUTH & MVP

Ross said Truth was knocked out of the match due to a vicious blindside attack before the bell, so now MVP has agreed to wrestle both heels alone. Tazz said it's not a bright move, but it's gutsy. Why wouldn't the match be changed, since it hadn't even started officially yet, to a singles match? I suppose with a heel G.M. like Vickie, that makes more sense, but this idea that heels can attack wrestlers before the bell and suffer no consequences makes WWE in general look weak. At the very least, announcers should speak out and say how unfair it is that the heels get to remain two-strong after illegally injuring one of their opponents, giving them a reward for their actions. The heels worked over heels for a few minutes. Chavo was signaling for a frog splash, but Shelton tagged himself in. Chavo then attacked Shelton from behind and hit the frog splash as planed. Chavo then trash-talked Shelton and abandoned him. MVP surprised Shelton with a Drive-By for the win. If WWE, in an attempt to be family-friendly, is cleansing babyfaces of inappropriate names of finishers, such as the FU, how about getting rid of the Drive-By name, considering a babyface is glorifying the practice of shooting people from a car and speeding away.

WINNER: MVP in 6:00.

STAR RATING: * -- The opening minutes didn't air, but what did was just sort of there. Nothing special at all, as the match was just a set-up for the Shelton-Chavo angle. It's still one of the big early disappointments of 2009 that MVP's losing streak ended and no major angle resulted, and now with no official turn to give the fans a reason to cheer for him, he's now cast as a babyface. It's like that episode of "Seinfeld" where George quit his job and then had second thoughts and just showed up the next Monday as if he never quit, hoping nobody would say anything. MVP just showed up one week acting like a babyface as if all of those negative things he said about fans and all of that heelish bragging he did never happened.

[Commercial Break]

-WWE Fact: "Last year, The WWE had more Live Events in Europe than the NBA, MLB, NHL & NFL combined." Strange use of capital letters. It's still irritating that they call it "the WWE" because "the World Wrestling Entertainment" sounds ridiculous. They should have thought of that before the name change if they wanted to call it "the WWE." It's like someone saying, "I support the PETA."

-Jim Ross threw to a video package on the McMahons-Orton storyline.

[Q5]

-Ross asked Triple H in a sit-down setting what he thinks of that video package. Triple H said Orton has been walking a fine line for a while. He said, "Earlier this week on Raw he put his hands..." He paused, rocked back and forth, took a swig of water, and continued. "A lot of people might not like my father-in-law Vince McMahon, but he's a 63 year old man." He said Orton kicked him in the head and hid behind doctors and lawyers, then did the same to Shane for trying to protect his father. "And then he put his hands on my wife," he said, admitting full officially for the first time overtly on WWE TV that he's married to Steph. Hunter looked into the camera and told Orton that he's crossed a line and it's one he can't come back from. He choked up and then leaned into the camera and said, "Stephanie is the mother of my children." He yanked of the mic and walked away." That was fine.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- UMAGA vs. SCOTTY GOLDMAN

Umaga gave Goldman an immediate Sidewalk Slam. Goldman avoided a corner splash, but when he dove off the second rope at Umaga, Umaga kicked him in the face and the pounded him in the corner. A running butt splash followed. He followed with a single-arm lift into a Samoan Spike for the win.

WINNER: Umaga in 2:00. Good squash to get across some of Umaga's signature moves. Quite the send-off for Goldman, who was released later in the week after this taping.

[Q6]

-A video package aired on WrestleMania 14, same segment that aired on Raw.

-They showed Vickie heading toward the entrance tunnel.

[Commercial Break]

-Vickie said she doesn't think either Shawn Michaels or JBL are worthy to try to end Undertaker's streak at WrestleMania this year. She said neither are worthy of that challenge, and Undertaker is on her show, so if anyone is worthy of that challenge, it's a Smackdown wrestler who is undefeated in singles competition - Vladimir Kozlov. Kozlov walked to the ring to his music. She said next week Kozlov will prove he is worthy of the challenge by beating Undertaker next week on Smackdown. Kozlov said: "Shawn Mike an Jaybeul, yuh weh ah el endibway. Eshtil yushtilwah el ben baum Undertaker and el Smackdown eneselmania, Shawn Michael en Jaybeul, your not undefeated; I em. I will destroy one of you on iran, then I will break Undertaker en Smackedown, en WrestleMania."

-Ross plugged Hardy and Edge.

-A vignette aired hyping Gail Kim. It showed her working out with words "passion" and "desire" and "hunger" and "results." What, an actual female role model on WWE TV instead of a Playboy model type? Did someone new take over WWE who doesn't think all wrestling fans want to watch the type of women that they lust over at strip clubs?

[Commercial Break]

-The new AC/DC WrestleMania theme song played as a video hyped that WrestleMania is just 44 days away.

-The showed the Portland skyline at night as Ross announced that Triple H will confront Orton on Raw on Monday. "Randy Orton's going to pay a big price for this one, folks," said Ross. Tazz agreed. Ross plugged Steve Austin was the first inductee into the 2009 Hall of Fame class. Then the video aired announcing the Funks.

[Q7]

-Edge's ring intro took place with 30 minutes left in the show.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- EDGE vs. JEFF HARDY

Some decent back and forth action in the early minutes. Hardy slidekicked Edge off the ring apron to the floor at 3:00. Edge gave Hardy a neckbreaker off the second rope a minute later. With both men down, they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q8]

Edge was in control after the break and remained in control for several minutes with methodical offense. At 16:00, after kicking out of a pin attempt by Edge, Hardy knocked Edge off the top rope and then dove onto him at ringside. Back in the ring they collided with simultaneous clotheslines. Edge got up and tried to pin Hardy with his feet on the second rope for illegal added leverage. The ref caught him and stopped the count after two. Hardy schoolboyed Edge for a near fall as Edge was complaining to the ref. Hardy hit a Whisper in the Wind for a near fall. Ross always seems to pause to be sure he gets the names of the Hardys' signature moves right before speaking, as way back he used to get them mixed up in the heat of calling the action.

Hardy went on a flurry of more offense and scored another near fall. Ross picked up the intensity of his announcing and called it a great main event. Tazz said, "This is how he roll here on Smackdown." Hardy snapped Edge's neck over the top rope and then hit a swinging legdrop for a near fall. Edge placed a foot over the bottom rope to stop the count. Hardy then attempt to give Edge his Twist of Fate, but Edge blocked it and gave Hardy a neckbreaker for a near fall. Hardy came back with a Twist of Fate and a Swanton. "This one's done!" exclaimed Ross, assuring that it wasn't. Sure enough, Matt Hardy entered and gave his younger brother a Twist of Fate. The ref called for the bell.

WINNER: Hardy via DQ in 22:00.

STAR RATING: ***1/2 -- Very good, long TV match.

-Afterward Matt leaned over Jeff and said next week it's time, "you and me, one on one." They are not going to give that away before WrestleMania 25 are they? Ross said he was almost speechless. Ross then said next week it's going to be the Hardy brothers against one another next week. Why? Because Matt said it? Can any wrestler just make a match official by saying he wants it? WWE should get that straight and be clear about it, because it's pretty absurd the way it works now. Edge then recovered and gave Jeff a spear and held his title belt in the air as the show ended.

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