By James Caldwell, PWTorch.com assistant editor

TNA Impact on Spike TV
April 9, 2009
Taped Apr. 6 in Orlando, Fla.

The show started with Mike Tenay welcoming us to Round Two of the Lethal Lockdown challenge. Tonight, it's Booker T vs. Samoa Joe.

As usual, they go to the ring for the Main Event Mafia. Kurt Angle came out first, followed by Mafia Security, Scott Steiner, Kevin Nash, and TNA World champion Sting bringing up the rear. No Booker and Sharmell. Tenay explained that Joe hauled off Sharmell at the end of last week's show. In the ring, Sting did the talking first. He needs some explanations from Jeff Jarrett tonight after Mick Foley booked Sting in a match last week against crazy Samoa Joe.

Sting wants to know who's running this company: Jarrett or Mick Foley. Sting said Foley pulled rank last week and he wants to know what Jarrett is going to do about it. Jarrett said he's knee-deep in b.s. around here and the last thing he needs is Sting challenging his authority. Sting said that's okay, Jeff, so since you're running the show, you need to book Mick Foley in a little warm-up match tonight.

Jarrett thought things over, then asked Sting what gives him the right to question him. Sting put down the TNA World Title belt, then took Jarrett back 23 years ago when he was way down here and now Jeff thinks he's way up here. Sting said he has a little bit of stroke around here and he's going to use it for the first time tonight. Scotty Steiner then interjected and told Sting to back off. Steiner said Jarrett is losing control around here and now the entire company is in the hands of "A.J. Style and Smo Joe." It doesn't have to be this way, man. There's an easier road, man.

Steiner asked Jarrett why he would throw away seven years on those guys. They need a man-to-man chat. Suddenly, Motor City Machineguns's music interrupted and out came the NJPW jr. tag champs. The main eventers in the ring sold confusion about Shelley and Sabin interrupting. Shelley said they were in the back playing video games and couldn't help but hear Sting's plight. They completely agree with Sting since Foley seems to be the boss around here. He paused for Jarrett to get annoyed, then Shelley said they will pimp themselves out for a match against Mick Foley, who humiliated him on Thanksgiving Night. Not one day has gone by where he hasn't thought about that travesty.

Shelley said he's been waiting a long time for the right moment to cash in a handicap match against Foley. "What do you say, boss?" Shelley quipped to Jarrett. Jarrett told Shelley he's got the right guy to book matches, so he booked Foley in the handicap match against the Guns.

Backstage: They went backstage where Mick Foley was chilling in Jarrett's office. Foley didn't seem too phased about facing the Guns. But, he was at a loss for words until quoting, "That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it." Foley said he's looking forward to the handicap match. He said sarcastically that he really has his work cut out for him this. But, he's going to tweak the match just a little.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Borash was with Jarrett and Foley together this time. Foley was ecstatic that Jarrett found his smile again by booking the handicap match. Foley said he's going to tweak the match some. Tweak it, tweak it. Jarrett ripped the guitar out of Foley's hand, then Borash asked Jarrett what's wrong with him. Jarrett calmly told Borash to take a hike so he could talk to Scott Steiner.

In-ring: Team Foreigners came to the ring for the opening match. Meanwhile, Mike Tenay and Don West discussed the problems facing Jeff Jarrett, who West said is drowning. Steiner's just trying to throw him a lifeline, West reasoned.

1 -- TNA X Division champion SUICIDE vs. SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR (w/No Limit and Kiyoshi) -- non-title match

Not sure why this match is taking place, but let's check it out. Tenay and West announced an Ultimate Xscape match for Suicide's X Title at the Lockdown PPV. Meanwhile, Kevin Nash was not cleared to wrestle in a tag match tonight because of his staph infection, so it will be Scott Steiner vs. James Storm tonight. Tenay said Bashir has been working behind the scenes to form an anti-USA faction. Why, because No Limit and Kiyoshi are from Japan? It would be one thing if TNA gave No Limit and Kiyoshi promo time to explain their thoughts, but they're given zero time to explain their position, making this seem so 1980s xenophobic. Action broke down behind the ref's back and Bashir nailed a DDT on the belt for the pin and the win. Post-match: Lights went down and out, then Suicide was nowhere to be found.

WINNER: Bashir in 4:00. Just a set up for the X Title match at Lockdown using the tired TNA TV formula of ref incompetence, interference, and xenophobia. (3/4*)

Backstage: Beautiful People were shown walking around with scissors in hand.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Lauren brought in Rhino and Jesse Neal, who was the special U.S. Naval officer at Destination X. Rhino said everyone knows how much he loves our country. He spoke with Neal at the PPV to discuss him sharing his story. Neal recapped his military history and pro wrestling background. He said they were attacked by terrorists and eventually found out he lost his best friend and best wrestling friend. Neal said that day, part of him died inside. He misses him and wants to become a wrestler in his honor. Rhino said he will be honored to help Neal achieve his dream with 24/7 training.

Backstage: After Tenay and West recapped things happening on the show, they cut backstage to show Velvet and Angelina trying to cut the hair off Raisha Saeed. Tenay said Awesome Kong is going to be quite upset.

[Commercial Break]

Rough Cut: Devon said Team 3D wanted to open a wrestling school once they had achieved success in wrestling. He said when they left WWE, they wanted to see what kind of indy talent was out there. Devon said they were horrified and decided to open a school to help advance the art of pro wrestling for the next generation. This turned into a Frontline vs. Mafia promo. Ray said they are trying to give the Frontline the mental edge they need to go with the physical tools to combat the Mafia. So nice of them.

Sit-down interview: Tenay introduced a "very real interview" with Sting (Steve Borden) from earlier in the day. As opposed to the other promos from Sting, which are just made-up b.s. In any event, Tenay asked Sting about taking the chair shots from Mick Foley. Sting said there's 20 years of history there and he didn't expect that from a close friend, but he understands Foley trying to go after the World champion if he wants to be the best in the business. Sting laughed at the idea of trying to get into the mind of Mick Foley. Tenay turned to Sting's potential retirement. Sting said it's no secret he's dealing with some pain in his body and he's watched Foley do all kinds of crazy things, so he's a little nervous. They went back to when Foley lost his ear to reminisce about old wrestling history that is relevant to a small percentage of the audience.

[Commercial Break]

Earlier today: Lauren yelled at Abyss for ignoring her phone calls about Dr. Stevie abusing Abyss during their therapy session last week. Abyss said they have a very special relationship. Lauren said she could report him to the Board of Health, but Abyss pleaded with her to leave him alone. She then threatened to spill the beans on everything.

Impact Zone: Mick Foley's music hit and Foley came out as Tenay talked about there being "heat" between Foley and Shelley. Again, not necessary. Foley said he has decided to tweak because of the contents in his next book, "Crossing the Line." Foley said he was at his son's basketball game and he complained about Dewey's hair to his wife, who shot back that they don't complain about Mick's hair. Foley then pulled out some family memorabilia about his son wanting to look like Alex Shelley, including the hair cut. Foley said he's changing the handicap match to a First Blood match and he wants Sting ringside as Special Guest enforcer. Heck, even Jeff Jarrett can show up to do whatever founders do at ringside. He said when he's done with Shelley tonight, no child will ever want to look like him again. Crowd was pretty silent for this because Foley's character is so way out there that it's not worth trying to figure out.

Backstage: Borash sat down with Booker T and Kurt Angle to discuss Sharmell's health about Samoa Joe's health. Booker said what happened last week wasn't about entertainment. He can't get one word out of Sharmell anymore. What he does to Samoa Joe tonight will be unspeakable. Booker stormed off, then Kurt Angle walked over to the mic. Angle said tonight has nothing to do with getting the man advantage, but protecting family. He said he will be ringside for Joe vs. Angle tonight. He vowed to end Joe's Nation of Violence.

[Commercial Break]

During the break: Samoa Joe was on the way to the ring down the hallway, then A.J. Styles stopped him and said he would like to escort Joe to the ring since Angle will be with Booker. Joe said his nation is a nation of one. Joe walked off and Styles mustered, "Really?"

Impact Zone: After a video package aired on the Lethal Lockdown War Games match, Booker T came out with his chest puffed out and Kurt Angle by his side to face Joe. Joe then stormed out to start throwing bombs on Booker.

2 -- SAMOA JOE vs. BOOKER T (w/Kurt Angle)

Tenay wants to know what happened to Joe while he was off TV recovering from the Mafia's beat down a few months ago. West said they heard all the rumors and now Team Jarrett is in major trouble with no one on the same page. Angle provided interference from the outside, then gave Booker a chair. Ref Slick Johnson tried to yank the chair away, but Styles showed up to attack Angle ringside. Back in the ring, Joe took advantage of the distraction to nail a snap powerslam for the quick pin and the win. Post-match: Styles talked to Joe, who backed away and suggested he doesn't need Styles's help.

WINNER: Joe in 2:00. Score now 1-1 for the Lethal Lockdown advantage. "Team Jarrett in chaos" is an intriguing storyline leading to the PPV, as well as finding out the fourth member of the team. Very short match to continue reducing the amount of wrestling content on Impact. (n/a)

[Commercial Break]

ODB Date: They showed a video of ODB and Cody Deaner on their date at Universal Studios. Woody Woodpecker was given some love. Reminds me of the first TNA Impact on FSN when they plugged Universal Studios in a Robocop-on-WCW-TV kind of way. Sure seems like TNA has a one-episode-per-year deal with Universal Studios to plug the theme park on TV, no matter how ridiculous or low-rent it comes across.

Rough Cut 2: More of Team 3D talking about great tag teams in wrestling history. They showed some grainy clips of the Steiner Brothers and Outsiders. Ray said after 14 years, people still come see them, so apparently they are successful. Ray referenced the 21 tag title reigns as their legacy, which means absolutely nothing coming from an era where title switches happened every week on TV. Just not a relevant argument.

[Commercial Break]

During the break: Kevin Nash tried to seduce Jenna Morasca into joining the Mafia.

Backstage: Lauren asked Shelley and Sabin if they have any idea what they got themselves into tonight. Shelley said Mick Foley has a nice little legacy in wrestling, but they are so confident in their abilities that they will put up the IWGP jr. tag titles tonight. Sabin said Foley won't be in there with two jabronies tonight, but two of the best in the world. He said Foley can barely get out of bed, much less wrestle. Tonight, Guns do what they do best at Foley's expense - make themselves noticed. Shelley gave Sting a ticket to the Gun show if he so chooses.

Impact Zone: Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash gingerly made their way to the ring for Steiner in a singles match. Team 3D was at the announce table with Tenay and West. TNA tag champs Beer Money then walked out for Storm to face Steiner.

3 -- SCOTT STEINER (w/Kevin Nash) vs. JAMES STORM (w/Robert Roode)

Team 3D talked about them being the greatest ever...blah, blah, blah. Brother Ray said Beer Money could be considered the greatest ever if they beat Team 3D at Lockdown, but they know it won't happen. Plenty of talk about 3D being in Philadelphia for Lockdown where their careers were made. Storm was in control and looking for the superkick, but Nash love-tapped Storm on the back of the leg with a pipe. Storm sold it like he was shot in the leg and the ref called for a DQ. Steiner and Nash wanted to attack Storm post-match, but Team 3D ran off Nash and Steiner. 3D then returned the favor from last week of making the save for the TNA tag champs and they had a staredown without any contact.

WINNER: Storm via DQ in 5:00. Another non-finish, but at least they promoted the awesome Beer Money vs. 3D match at the PPV. It's just so old to listen to 3D scripted to talk about themselves as the best-ever, blah blah blah. It's old and boring and TNA needs to find a new way to make them relevant to the audience. (3/4*)

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Borash was with the Beautiful People in their lair for another interview segment.

4 -- MADISON RAYNE & VELVET SKY (w/Angelina Love) vs. Knockouts champion AWESOME KONG -- non-title match

Kong avenged Raisha's earlier beating from the Beautiful People by...scoring a roll-up pin on Rayne. Excellent. More trouble for Rayne in her initiation. Beautiful People then tried to attack Kong post-match, but Taylor Wilde curiously made the save.

Backstage: They showed a split-screen of the Guns and Foley preparing for the main event handicap match.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Another backstage interview. Borash said Jarrett's new DVD is fantastic! He then wanted to know what Jarrett and Steiner were talking about earlier. Jarrett said he doesn't care about that right now because he has an announcement for next week. Former TNA champion returns to TNA and gets Kevin Nash in the final Lethal Lockdown Advantage match.

Impact Zone: Sting came out first to be ringside for Foley vs. Guns. Guns then came out to defend the belts, which are completely irrelevant on TNA TV. Foley came out alone and Tenay passed on word that Jarrett will watch from his backstage monitor instead of showing up ringside.

5 -- NJPW Jr. tag team champions MOTOR CITY MACHINEGUNS (ALEX SHELLEY & CHRIS SABIN) vs. MICK FOLEY -- NJPW Jr. tag team title match -- First Blood handicap match

Early on, Don West referenced the Guns having never bled on TV before. Subtle references to Shelley and Sabin's rumored backstage conflict last year when they refused to blade for a PPV match. Guns took control early on and smashed Foley into the guardrail with a double-foot dropkick. Sting watched ringside as the Guns mocked his mannerisms. Sting finally got up from his chair and gave Sabin a Scorpion death drop. Back in the ring, Foley gave Shelley a double-arm DDT. He went into his trunks for Mr. Socko and Shelley ate it. Ref Rudy Thomas spotted a little bit of blood on the sock, but Foley refused to allow the match to end that way.

Foley then took the mic and said this is not what he promised. He said someone was going to get busted wide open tonight. Foley told Shelley he's going to make him suffer. Foley then grabbed his barbed wire baseball bat and wanted to rip open Shelley, but Sting suddenly popped Foley in the forehead with a chair shot. Foley was busted open and the ref called for the bell. Suddenly, Foley ran to the floor and snapped on Sting, leading to a brawl ringside to close the show.

WINNERS: Guns via Sting's help in 8:00. Well, it wouldn't be a TNA TV main event match without another non-clean, over-booked finish. One or two matches with a non-finish is okay, but every single match this week was determined via some other means than a clean "I'm better than you today" victory. Add in barely 20 minutes of wrestling content this week and too many backstage segments and you have a messy show. Too much was thrown at the audience without time to digest what's going on. We'll see if TNA can clean things up next week leading to Lockdown. Guns benefited from being on TV extensively this week, but the main event didn't do them any favors other than show they're weak. (3/4*)

We welcome your 0-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.

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