By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
APRIL 16, 2009
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

[Q1]

-The show opened with hype for this Sunday's Lockdown PPV, with the focus on Kurt Angle leading his team against Team Jarrett. It showed A.J. Styles, Samoa Joe, and a mystery partner to be revealed tonight as Jarrett's teammates. It also hyped Sting vs. Mick Foley.

-The TNA Impact opening aired, followed by Mike Tenay introducing the show as the camera panned the crowd and pyro blasted.

-A.J. Styles walked out and said he faced Scott Steiner two weeks ago and lost because of a miscue by Jarrett. He said they talked it out and it's water under the bridge. He said the rumors in the back are bother him. He said he doesn't want to believe them, but he can't get them out of his head. He said he wants to be know they are on the same page going into Lockdown. Jarrett's music immediately played and he walked to the ring.

Styles told Jarrett that he knows he's under a lot of pressure with Foley acting crazy and the young guys letting him down, not to mention Scott Steiner's friendship spiel. He said any decision he makes can make or break the company, so he doesn't envy his position. He said he needs to know if Sunday he'll be on his side. Jarrett said he's insulted by that question. He said he offered him the spot as team captain first, so how could he expect him to turn on him. Styles said he didn't say that. Jarrett said he implied it, and that's what's wrong with the younger wrestlers today. He said he gave him his job, his livelihood, every chance to further his career and became a man "in this stinkin' business." He said now, just three days before Lockdown, he's questioning his integrity. "Damn, you've got lots of balls." Styles tried to apologize, but Jarrett said he didn't want to hear it. He said he's going to find out a lot more when the fourth member of the team is revealed. He said he's a former TNA Champion. Kurt Angle's music played.

As Angle walked to the ring, Don West and Tenay discussed how nobody on Jarrett's team is on the same page. Angle spoke sympathetically to Jarrett. He said he wanted to be up front to him about something. He said Nash can't wrestle later as planned due to his elbow. He said his doctor won't clear him until this Sunday. He asked if he could replace him in the match. Styles said Nash should have to forfeit instead. Jarrett said Styles isn't in charge, he is. He told Angle they will deliver a third and final match to determine the advantage at Lethal Lockdown. He said he appreciated the heads-up on Nash's medical condition. He said he's going to allow Angle to take his place. He said he'd tell him his opponent later. "Now let's get this show on the road," he said.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

-A video package aired on Suicide, the most inappropriate, insensitive name for a wrestler, especially a babyface, ever. It hyped his X Title match against Sheik Abdul Bashir on Sunday's PPV.

-Lauren interviewed Sheik Abdul Bashir and his Japanese stablemates. He said they're all tired of playing the victim. He went into a yelling rant that caused Lauren to flinch.

1 -- CHRIS SABIN (w/Alex Shelley) vs. NAITO (w/Yujiro) vs. HOMICIDE (w/Hernandez)

Tenay hyped that also on Impact, Mick Foley would interview Cactus Jack. Homicide overshot a dive on Yujiro and Naito at ringside. At 3:00 Sabin went on a flurry against both opponents and scored a near fall on Naito after a tornado DDT. West said this is just a glimpse of what will happen at the PPV. Homicide shoved Sabin off the top rope and then gave Naito a 187 off the middle rope for the win.

WINNER: Homicide in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Lots of moves, but not really a match. Good athleticism, though.

-They showed a yellow cab drive up to the arena. out walked Brother Runt (a/k/a Spike Dudley) and Balls Mahoney. "What are they doing at the Impact Zone?" said Tenay.

[Commercial Break]

-Abyss approached Jim Cornette in his office backstage. ODB and her boyfriend barged in. She complained about not getting enough matches on Impact, and the made some crude gestures that seem to the beginning, middle, and end of her character. Cornette uttered some lame line about blindness and then turned to Abyss and talked about creating a mixed tag match with Abyss and a Knockout of his choice against OBD and a partner. Her boyfriend offered to team with her. She asked what he's still doing hanging out with her since he only one date with her. Cornette told them to get a room - or better yet a locker room to get ready for their match. Cornette made a "Green Acres" reference. First Lawler didn't know who Dwight Schrute was, and now Cornette making "Green Acres" references. Some people are getting very old.

[Q3]

-Tenay had a sitdown interview with Jarrett. He asked him what his vision for Foley was when he arrived in TNA. Jarrett said he was a twenty-year-plus friend who went on to more success than anyone ever imagined. He said it was a dream come true to work side-by-side with him. Tenay asked about "the chairshot heard around the world" when Foley hit Sting. Jarrett said every competitor goes into a match wanting to win, but afterward he wondered, "At what cost did we win that match?" Tenay plugged the "King of the Mountain" DVD featuring Jarrett vs. Cactus Jack from 20 years ago in a tag match. A clip aired of that vintage match. Tenay asked Jarrett about the Scott Steiner conversations. Tenay said he sees Jarrett listening intently and hanging on every word. Jarrett he goes back twenty-plus years with Scott. He said it's well-known they go way back, and that his late wife Jill was one of his favorite people. He said they'll all taken vacations together. He said he's been there during a difficult time in his life. He said he's done a lot of soul searching in recent weeks. He said there comes a time where he has to look himself in the mirror, realize he has three beautiful girls, and he's got to "take care of Jeff Jarrett first and foremost." Wait, he just brought up his daughters, then said - in the third person nonetheless - that Jeff Jarrett comes first. I know what he meant, but that didn't sound very good.

[Commercial Break]

-Borash interviewed Angle and his cohorts backstage. Angle said he doesn't know and doesn't care who his opponent is. He said he's guaranteeing his teammates he'll win no matter what.

-A video package aired on issues within the TNA Knockouts division.

2 -- TAYLOR WILDE & AWESOME KONG & RAISHA SAEED vs. THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne)

TNA's apparently out to reclaim the record from WWE for the most ridiculously short women's match. When the bell rang, everyone except Love and Kong bailed out to ringside. Love showboated, but Kong blocked a slap and gave her the Implant Buster for the win.

WINNERS: Kong & Saeed & Wilde in 0:30.

-Afterward, Kong pulled scissors out of The BP's bag and held them in the air. Love, Sky, and Rayne attacked Kong in the corner, then tossed Saeed face-first into the belt wrapped around the top turnbuckle. They did the same thing to Wilde. Kong made a comeback, but Love sprayed her in the face and then KO'd her with the Knockouts Title belt. As Sky and Rayne held Kong in place on the mat, Love began snipping her extensions in half.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

-Tenay and West at ringside threw to the back where Kong was throwing a fit over what happened, throwing things around. They went back to Tenay and West. Tenay made creepy inquizitive faces as West talked about upcoming events. His hype included a plug for Danny Bonaduce vs. Eric Young.

-Another video feature aired on Team 3D talking about their accomplishments as a team, including their recent IWGP Tag Team Title win. Ray said, "I fear for Beer Money's life." He said not because of what they're going to do, but because of the fans. Ray said they're worried for themselves even, because if they don't splatter Beer Money's blood, the fans could turn on them.

-Lauren interviewed Team 3D backstage. He said he is proud to say tag team wrestling is alive and well. Brother Runt walked into the room. Ray asked what he was doing there. He said he was passing through town for a show, but he had another surprise for them. In walked Balls Mahoney. He wished them luck and said they're all family and all behind them. He said they revolutionized the whole business together. He dropped the names "Raven, Taz, Tommy, Sandman, Runt, me." Ray asked, "What about Heyman?" Balls blew that off. Ray asked Balls if he's going to hang out. Balls said he has to go kick some ass somewhere else.

3 -- CODY DEANER & ODB vs. ABYSS & DAFFNEY

West asked Tenay his opinion on Jarrett riding the fence. Tenay defended him as "exploring his options." That's pretty much the same thing given the circumstances. ODB opened against Daffney. At 2:00 Abyss tagged in. Deaner was hesitant to tag in. Tenay said he's not a wrestler, just a fan for years. Deaner threw a punch at Abyss. Abyss no-sold it. He threw another punch. No effect. West said Deaner should get on his back and let the ref count three and get out of there. Abyss slapped his hat off of his head. The crowd chanted, "You got bitch slapped!" Abyss then stopped him from tagging ODB and gave him a Black Hole Slam. That's what should happened to Shane McMahon every time he pretends to be a wrestler.

WINNERS: Abyss & Daffney in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/4*

-Afterward, Matt Morgan attacked Abyss. He gave him a Carbon Footprint big boot to the face.

-They showed Mick Foley smiling and high-fiving as he approached the entrance stage backstage.

[Q5]

[Commercial Break]

-Ah, the commercial break at the start of the second hour on a post-produced show - always a great strategy.

-Jeremy Borash interviewed Scott Steiner backstage. He asked him about his talks with Jarrett. Steiner said it's personal and will remain personal. Steiner said he has a feeling that before the night's over, Jeff's actions will do all the talking.

-Foley's music played and he walked to the ring where there were two chairs sitting mid-ring. Tenay said his multiple personalities are surfacing again. Foley said it feels great to be back in the Impact Zone. He said things got crazy in the Impact Zone last week, but they'll get crazier at the Lockdown. He said in the interim period, he wanted to kick back, relax, have some fun, and interview one of the true greats wrestling has ever known. He asked the fans to put their hands together for his guest, Cactus Jack. He looked to the entrance stage as if Jack was walking out. He then broke into his Cactus personality. Foley got into an argument with Cactus. We got to hear more about his ear in Europe. Then Comicon. Cactus complained about Foley writing books about his career. He said Mick's days as a wrestler are over. He said he can be a shareholder and executive if he wants, but not a wrestler. He told him to keep his sweat pants in his closet because Cactus Jack is showing up at Lockdown. "I will not let you have my moment of glory when I vanquish my greatest rival." Foley began hitting himself in the face. Then Sting's music interrupted. Foley looked to the stage as Sting walked out with his title belt over his shoulder.

Sting entered the ring and said, "You are turning a 20 year friendship into an out of control three-ring circus, Mick." Mick was bleeding from his temple due to the punching of himself. Sting said what's scary is he think he believes what he just did. He asked him if he's lost his mind. "Is this an act, Mick? No, I'm convinced you really believe what you just did, Mick," he said. Sting said it doesn't really matter to him. Foley said, "That's the Sting I want to see because you were never intimidated by me." Foley quoted Ross touting Foley's insanity back in the day, yet noted that Sting was never afraid. He said the chants of "Cactus Jack" didn't scare him, but it threw him off his game. He asked him what it will be like to be trapped inside the steel cage, with fans chanting "Cactus Jack, Cactus Jack." The Main Event Mafia music then played. Sting turned to the stage. Foley attacked him from behind before anyone show up on the stage. Foley said the MEM weren't coming out to help him. He slammed a wooden chair over Sting. He said he can hit anybody's music that he wants because he runs this place. He asked them to play him a little Curry Man music. "What the hell is going on around here?" asked Tenay. West said the dude has lost his mind and he's loving it. Foley then asked for Shark Boy music. Tenay called it bizarre and a train wreck. West said, "Yeah, but you gotta admit you're glued to it." Foley then asked for Sting's music. Tenay hyped that they were just three days away from Lockdown, wrapping the segment. Just then Foley pulled out a barbed wire baseball bat. West called it one of the most entertaining things he's ever seen. He put the bat up to his face and said at Lockdown he wants to tear him apart.

[Q6]

-Tenay and West were shown on camera, but they immediately threw to a commotion backstage. Balls and Runt were being attacked by Beer Money Inc. They brawled onto the stage and then to ringside. Robert Roode nailed Balls with an unprotected stiff chairshot to the skull. Balls bled heavily from his forehead. Storm hit Runt with a chair as he was hanging upside down from the turnbuckle. West said he's so sick of the Team 3D "Rough Cut" segments and mocked them. He said Team 3D are making a statement to Team 3D. Tenay asked what they'll do when the fans begin chanting in Philly, "We want blood!" Storm hit Runt with a blunt unprotected chairshot to the skull. West said he thinks it's wrong to assume everyone in Philly will be rooting for Team 3D. The beat down continued for another minute. West said this PPV is going to be off the chart. "Who doesn't want to see this match-up?" said West. Team 3D ran out for the save, so Beer Money bailed out. Tenay said the match built on mutual respect has turned into a war.

[Commercial Break]

-Ray stood in the ring with a mic in hand as Runt and Balls were being tended to my medics. Ray called Beer Money out so they could talk to them face-to-face. Beer Money stepped out. Ray asked why they'd do this to their brothers, friends, and fellow warriors from back in the day. Roode said, "We hate them like we hate you!" Ray said their match at Lockdown should be a Philadelphia Street Fight. Beer Money threw a fit. Why? Does Ray get to decide the stips of a match on the spot? Tenay then said what that meant, something about opening the cage doors. It made no sense.

-A "Cross the Line" mini-video aired. Tenay and West then hyped the Lockdown line-up.

[Q7]

-Lauren asked Styles if he had any idea who Jarrett was going to name as the final teammate. Styles said somethings it seems Jarrett's with them and other times it seems like he's not. Styles said he can't just believe that Jeff's on their side, he has to know. He said he knows he built the company on integrity, and he must believe that integrity will show on Sunday.

-They showed Jarrett heading to the entrance tunnel.

[Commercial Break]

-Kurt Angle's ring entrance took place. Then Jarrett's took place, as he walked out to announce the final partner. Tenay said this is the moment they've been anticipating. Jarrett said he's given it a lot of thought and he knew this decision had to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt where his allegiance lies. He said this is about Styles and Samoa Joe and the Frontline, the Originals, and the TNA fans. The crowd cheered. He said, "As the founder of TNA, I get to make a lot of easy decisions and I also get to make a lot of tough decisions." He said he is pleased to announce the return of Christopher Daniels. Tenay said Styles will never doubt Jarrett's loyalty again. Daniels walked out. West said this shows how wishy-washy Jarrett is because he did this to please Styles. West wasn't able to convincingly pull off that talking point.

4 -- CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. KURT ANGLE

Tenay said Styles named his children after Daniels, they're that close. Tenay said when Jarrett goes out and recruits Daniels to return to TNA, he is lining up a team that can outwrestle the MEM. Daniels's new ring outfit is the best he's had, fitting his look. After an early flurry by Daniels, the tennis-shoe-wearing Angle backdropped him over the top rope. They cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q8]

Daniels made a comeback at 7:00. He ripped off the top of his ring outfit and hit a nice swinging single leg powerbomb for a near fall. Daniels hit a nice single-leg back suplex into a bridge for another near fall. Angle made a comeback at 9:00 with three suplexes. Daniels kicked out of Angle's pin attempt. Angle went for an anklelock, but Daniels powered out of it. Daniels then surprised Angle with a leverage pin attempt and scored the upset pin. Angle complained to the ref as Styles joined Daniels in celebrating mid-ring. They hugged. Daniels slapped some fan hands at ringside.

WINNER: Daniels in 11:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Good action.

-As Angle continued to protest, Jim Cornette walked out and said he may have had a different vantage point than the referee Rudy Charles. Angle told him to change the call. Cornette struggled to make a call. Angle called him a stupid son of a bitch and spit on him. Cornette yelled, "Kurt Angle, you're a loser, the decision stands!" Angle shoved Cornette into the corner. Three referees pulled him away. Angle then called Jarrett to the ring.

[Commercial Break]

-Angle said he's asking him as one of his wrestlers to come out there and fix the decision. He called him out to watch the replay. Jarrett's music played and he walked to the ring. His shirt was unbuttoned for some reason. Jarrett said he just watched the replay from several different angles. As Booker yapped in the background, Jarrett told him to shut up. He also told Steiner to back off. Jarrett said he realizes this decision will affect everyone's careers because it determines the man advantage. He asked Keith Mitchell to roll the tape. It showed Daniels's shoulder down for three and Angle lifting his before three. Jarrett said a few times that Daniels "initiated the offensive." That's a new phrase in that circumstances. Jarrett then contradicted his own implication and declared Angle the winner. Angle jumped up and down in excitement. Tenay said this throws back into question Jarrett's loyalty. Styles and Daniels argued with him as the MEM celebrated. Samoa Joe then walked out to his music and entered the ring as the show ended.

FINAL THOUGHTS: I kinda liked that finish and the whole way they played up the idea of Jarrett maybe being sympathetic to each side. I think they failed to drive home the original reasons Jarrett might side with TNA, which I think is one of the flaws that surfaces when they write several TV shows at once and forget that a whole week goes by between shows and certain issues really need to be reestablished each week. The actual finish of Angle-Daniels and the post-match protest played out nicely, although I'm still wondering what the "he initiated the offense" meant if Jarrett was going to disregard it seconds later, anyway.

The Beer Money turn on Team 3D's pals was anti-climactic. For weeks they'd indicated they were going to be sportsman, and then suddenly they turned. Why? Were they lying all along? If so, why? If not, what triggered the change of heart?

They're certainly not using the Nash-Joe match to sell buys. It was pretty much off the radar entirely other than being mentioned to create an excuse for Angle wrestling in place of Nash. The Daniels announcement was handled well, treating him as TNA royalty for his years of service with the company. I wish they had more time to get across who he is and what his background is to those many newer TNA fans.

Having Kong easily beat Love in a few seconds doesn't make me want to see Love challenge her for the Knockouts Title in a three-way on Sunday. The post-match hair clipping didn't, either. Once again, the X Title Xscape match was totally void of any hype that would make anyone care about the match, much less know it's on the show.

ODB's act is getting really stale and cartoonish, made worse by the new sidekick boyfriend.

The Sting-Foley interview segment was a mixed bag. I'm still not sure anyone buys Foley having a chance to win. They needed to make fewer references to ears and Europe and J.R. and focus more on the ramifications of the TNA Title being on the line and what it would mean to TNA and everyone if Foley won the title. The belt is just an afterthought there, and the title should never be an afterthought in a PPV main event. Sting is much better on the mic than he's ever been. Too bad he wasn't this engaged 20 years ago of WCW might have had a chance to break out nationally back in the very early 1990s.

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