By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S ECW REPORT
APRIL 21, 2009
AIRED ON SCI-FI
TAPED IN LONDON, ENGLAND

[Q1]

-The pryo blasted after the ECW opening and the camera panned the crowd as Josh Matthews and Matt Striker introduced the show. They hyped the contract signing for Christian challenging Jack Swagger for the ECW Title at Backlash.

-Finlay and Hornswoggle walked out to the ring. Finlay - who's an underrated dapper dresser, right there with Batista - said it was Hornswoggle's final night in ECW. He told Hornswoggle to explain what he wants. Hornswoggle said, "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I want to wrestle!" The crowd chanted "Hornswoggle!" Finlay said he wants to say thank you and good bye to everybody (well, those 12 people who watch ECW, but not the other brands). Tyson Kidd and Natalya walked out. Kidd said good riddance to because that leaves more time for him. Finlay said, "He's the leprechaun, you're the midget." Natalya said when her uncle Bret referred to himself as the Best There Ever Will Be, he lied because that's Tyson's destiny. She said if he wants a match with Tyson, but Tyson's too good for that and it'd "probably be a little short." She said even she could beat him. She told them to scurry out of the ring and leave room for them. He tried to bite her butt. Kidd and Natalya jumped to the floor. Natalya then challenged Hornswoggle to a farewell match one-on-one. Striker said they'd find out if that match will take place when they return.

[Commercial Break]

1 -- NATALYA (w/Tyson Kidd) vs. HORNSWOGGLE (w/Finlay)

She reached too high for him to participate in a Test of Strength. She slapped him. He bit her butt and then speared her. The crowd popped. Natalya kicked out at one. He sat on her and then scored another one count. Kidd stood on the edge of the ring. Hornswoggle threw his jacket at him. As Kidd moved toward him, Finlay swept him off his feet. Hornswoggle schoolboyed Natalaya for the quick pin. Striker said Hornswoggle heads to Raw victorious. Hornswoggle celebrated with three little kids in the ring. They each tried to do Hornswoggle heel-kicking dance move and none did it very well. Just sayin'.

WINNER: Hornswoggle in 2:00.

-Matthews plugged the contract signing.

-A commercial aired for Edge vs. John Cena at Backlash.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

-They showed the Tower of London. "We are truly a global phenomenon!" he said.

-Backstage Tiffany was talking to a young guy in a suit. Natalya barged in with Kidd. She said she wanted Hornswoggle fired for what he did. Tiffany told her to calm down and show her a little respect. She said she may be new at this, but the two of them don't get to barge into her office and walk all over her. She said on Supestars this week, it'll be those two against Finlay & Hornswoggle. Kidd said they want Hornswoggle gone for good. Tiffany said Hornswoggle's headed to Raw anyway, so everyone wins. She said she had to get back to a contract signing.

-They showed Striker and Matthews on camera at ringside. Matthews said Raw is a sea of turmoil. They threw to the Raw Rebound focused on Triple H vs. Orton. Then they hyped the Backlash line-up.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- EVAN BOURNE vs. PAUL BURCHILL (w/Katie Lea Burchill)

Bourne took early control including a lightning-fast basement dropkick followed by a lightning-fast high dropkick for a one count. He climbed to the top rope, but Katie distracted him and then Burchill threw him to the mat. He went on offense with a barrage of kicks to the ribs. At 3:00 Burchill charged into Bourne's chest with two knees.

[Q3]

Striker said he admires Burchill's tenacity and aggressiveness. Bourne began a comeback at 4:00. Burchill surprised Bourne with a single leg hook suplex for a two count, then settled into a sleeper with a leg wrap on the mat. Bourne fended off a couple Bourne comeback attempts. Striker got Matthews to say "Swagger" with him because it's so fun to say, but Striker said Matthews didn't say it right. Bourne dazzled with a nice sequence including a flying high kneelift, an awesome floating spin around into a cradle for a two count, and then a jump spin wheel kick. Bourne hit a reverse huracanrana out of an electric chair attempt by Burchill, drawing another in a series of "Wows!" out of Striker. He followed with a shooting star press for the win.

WINNER: Bourne in 10:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Burchill's stock drops here when he can't even have an above-average ten minute match with Bourne, who's basement in ten minutes should be two-and-a-half stars, but this was a notch below that. Burchill was pretty invisible here even when executing his offense, which is largely forgettable. Bourne, though, was outstanding. Bourne today and A.J. Styles of five years ago are similar in how their movement and offense stood out so well, and I' not sure who I'd rank higher in their style. Styles was had more snap and suddeness to what he did, but Bourne is more innovative and "unexpected" with his moves. I'd love to see a 30 minute marathon between 2004 Styles and 2009 Bourne. Styles is still good, but he has lost a couple steps since his peak athletically five years ago.

[Commercial Break]

-WWE Fact: WWE's current European tour has featured sellouts in Germany, France, Austria, Irelad, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom.

-They showed the lobby of the arena in London. Damn cool lobby.

3 -- VLADIMIR KOZLOV vs. FRANKIE SLOAN

Striker said Sloan is the British Commonwealth Champion. Kozlov said, "Russian outlets are superior." I think they should do a skit with him reading children's books to school kids and then show them crying as he butchers classic fairy tails with his broken English and attempt to be nice but still coming across as a heartless killer. He beat Sloan in less than a minute.

WINNER: Kozlov in 1:00.

-They showed Swagger backstage getting ready for his contract signing. He had that look on his face like someone warming up for a spelling bee, trying to run through the most difficult words he's memorized by concentrating really hard in a distant place in his mind.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

-Tiffany stood mid-ring and introduced the official contract signing for the ECW Title match at Backlash. She introduced Christian first. Then Swagger. Striker touted Swagger's legit All-American status and called him the 21st Century Superstar. He smiled wide at Christian. Tiffany asked them to have a seat. The crowd chanted, "Christian, Christian." Tiffany said Christian could make a final statement and then sign the contract. Christian said nothing and signed the contract. Swagger asked why he didn't have any witty lines about his expensive suits or the way he talks. He then signed the contract. He said after being gone for years he expects to pick up right where he left off. (Vince McMahon set him straight on that.) He said while he was gone, a new class of WWE Superstars emerged and at the top of the class was the All-American American Jack Swagger. He said he survived a grueling elimination chase at Backlash and earned the right to face him for the ECW Title. He said he probably felt really good as if he had a chance to become a champion again, but now sitting across the table looking into his eyes, he can tell the feelings are gone. He said he realizes he's stronger, bigger, and faster than him. He said all his brain can do is send messages back saying "You can't beat me." He said that's why he has nothing to say.

The crowd chanted "Christian, Christian" again. As Swagger stood up to leave, Christian said that's not it. He said he'd like nothing better than to have some fun at his expense. "I could make fun of you for wearing the same suit you wore to your high school graduation," he said, or his haircut or his speech impediment. (They should lay off that as a target of jokes for the sake of their kids audience, many of whom have speech impediments through no fault of their own. There's plenty of things to make fun of that are in the control of heels, like suits and haircuts and attitudes). Christian said he's going to make him the biggest, strongest, fastest ex-ECW Champion in history. Tiffany thanked them. The staredown continued. Swagger held up his title belt and smiled wide. Christian stared at the belt. Swagger shoved the belt in Christian's face. Christian jumped him. Swagger fought back with a clothesline. The crowd booed. Swagger gave Christian a gut-wrench powerbomb through the table mid-ring. Striker asked if that means he's ready and confident or just a scared champion. Swagger smiled and the crowd chanted, "You suck!" Striker said Swagger struck first, but how will it end? Find out at Backlash. Good solid show with basic angle at the end that let the personalities of the wrestlers sell the match rather than overly cute or complex booking or angles. It's organic wrestling at it's best when the wrestlers do their thing and that's enough, and with the personalities and star power of Christian and Swagger, it was enough.

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