By James Caldwell, Torch assistant editor

TNA Impact on Spike TV
April 23, 2009
Taped Apr. 21 in Orlando, Fla.

Coming up this afternoon: My Impact report from last night's show.

The show started with a look back at the Lockdown PPV with a new Knockouts champion Angelina Love, new tag champions Team 3D, a new TNA World Hvt. champion Mick Foley, and Bobby Lashley "shocking the universe" by appearing at Lockdown. Perhaps that's Universe. Tonight, though, Cactus Crosses The Line.

Impact Zone: Show started with Jeff Jarrett coming to the ring holding the TNA World Title belt. Cue up Mike Tenay and the histrionics. Jarrett soaked up a "T-N-A" chant before introducing the new TNA champion, Mick Foley. Foley wobbled out to the ring looking like he was ready for a jazz gig. Black pants. Black t-shirt. 1980s blue jacket. Slicked-back black hair. Foley said they've been waiting a while for this moment. He then thanked Brother Dirk, the cameraman, for coming through big-time at Lockdown to help him win. Foley turned the camera on Dirk, who sheepishly played to the camera. Haha.

Foley then pointed to the 25 stitches over his eye to win the title. He said the consequences to Sting were worse for him. Right there was a broken, emotionally-shattered man. Crowd applauded. Brutal. Foley said it's safe to say they won't see Sting for a while, so he would like the audience to politely applaud Sting. "We want Sting," was the chant. Jarrett stood by long enough before reminding us he's the Founder of TNA, then he handed over the TNA Title belt to Foley, who paraded it around the ring.

Jarrett stuttered out some history and Foley said they never dreamed about this happening. Jarrett said he never thought Foley would be standing in his ring under these circumstances. "Mick, Mick, Mick," you said you wanted to concentrate on wrestling outside of the ring, but here we stand with Foley as the TNA champion.

Jarrett said one of his responsibilities here tonight is to inform Foley of his first title defense at the TNA Sacrifice PPV...in a four-way match, per TNA management. Foley wasn't so pleased. Jarrett then talked about the person who gets pinned having to Sacrifice something in the match. Foley wasn't convinced. He then asked Dirk to get another shot of the stitches as he pondered how to address Jarrett's ridiculousness. Foley recapped exactly what Jarrett just said. Drrrr...

Foley said he wants to know who is TNA management. Voice of authority from the Peanut shows? Steinbrenner in Seinfeld where you only see the back of his head? TNA management is "me and you, Jeff." So, Foley is assuming Jarrett booked it. What happened to one-on-one competition? Foley said he knows Jarrett's favorite food: peanut butter and jealousy sandwich. Yummy. Jarrett shook his head as Foley said Jarrett obviously resents him having the belt and not Jeff. He said Jarrett resents that Foley isn't just pushing pencils around, but actually leading TNA.

Foley said he wants to book Jarrett in a match tonight. Tenay interjected lamely that Jarrett pulled a hamstring at the PPV. *Fake Miz-to-Cena-fan-on-Raw tears* Foley said he doesn't care about the hammy, as he's putting Jarrett in a Cactus Jack Smack Attack where he'll personally select some items for a match involving the Main Event Mafia, who aren't thrilled with Jarrett's actions at Lockdown. Angriest was Scott Steiner. So, guess what, Jeff, you have a CJSA match: the King...the King of The Mountain! against Scott Steiner. Foley said he'll be on commentary. Have a nice day, Jeff. Gosh, this took forever. Decent segment, though, to build tension between Foley and Jeff.

Backstage: Lauren brought in the Beautiful People at their official celebration station. Angelina was apparently still a little loopy from the PPV where she won the Knockouts Title. Nevertheless, couldn't stop a good party.

[Commercial Break]

Earlier today: Don West brought in Team 3D after they won the TNA tag titles on Sunday. 3D wanted to thank all of the TNA fans who supported them. Brother Ray also thanked Beer Money for bringing their "A game" to Lockdown and they are the future of tag wrestling. Ray said tag wrestling isn't as strong as it could be, so they want to breathe new life into the division. Team 3D Invitational - trophy, check for $100,000, and a shot at the tag titles.

Impact Zone: On cue, Beer Money came to the ring not looking very happy about getting their re-match opportunity via a tournament. No booze cruise for Storm, who sold complete focus on the situation at hand. Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed then came out as the opposition.

1 -- BEER MONEY, INC. (ROBERT ROODE & JAMES STORM) vs. LETHAL CONSEQUENCES (JAY LETHAL & CONSEQUENCES CREED)

Storm was sporting tape over his left shoulder, which might as well have been a bulls-eye for LC to target a body part. Action quickly moved to the floor, then Creed landed a meaningless flip dive over the top rope. Lethal and Creed stood tall in the ring as Mike Tenay dropped an ask.com plug on Mick Foley's favorite food. Back in the ring, Beer Money regained the advantage with a back-cracker combo on Creed. Meanwhile, Tenay name-dropped WCW regarding the Jarrett-Steiner relationship blowing up. More talk of everything but the match.

Lethal took a hot tag and Tenay turned his attention back to the match. Beer Money had a miscommunication as the action broke down in the ring. Creed and Lethal landed a double suplex on Storm, then Lethal hit the Lethal Combination on Roode for a two count only. Action still all over the place as Storm nailed Lethal with a superkick before they hit the double-team DWI (a/k/a the Reid Flair special) for the pin and the win. Storm shot the hard camera a mean look on the way out of the ring post-victory. Roode then screamed into the camera that they're coming for him.

WINNERS: Beer Money in 6:00. Okay tag match. Formula deal with some babyface shine, isolate Creed, hot tag, action breaks down, ref gets distracted by a shiny nickel on the floor, and heel team wins via nefarious means to advance in the tournament. Meanwhile, announcers were obsessed with Jarrett. (*1/2)

Backstage: Jeremy Borash was in the Mafia locker room to talk to Kurt Angle and Scott Steiner. Angle said he's going to make one thing perfectly clear: no one beat them at Lockdown. He said he made a poor judgment call by even attempting to trust Jeff Jarrett. Steiner interjected that he holds himself responsible for trusting Jarrett. He said it's his bad. Steiner said Jarrett tossed 20 years of friendship down the tubes by choosing these young punks (who haven't received any TV time or focus yet on this show) over him. He said he's going to beat Jarrett down tonight.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Jarrett was pacing around in the hallway. Borash squealed fm the Mafia locker room that Steiner isn't a happy man at all. Jeff said he doesn't give a flip about how Steiner feels. At Lockdown, he made a business decision and he would make the same decision every night of the week. Frontline might be young and make mistakes, but they bust their butts. Oooh, that's a real confidence boost. Eric Young interrupted. "What are you doing here?" Jarrett said. Well, um, you were just putting us over with a series of back-handed compliments, so, I, um, wanted to see if you were, um, true to your, um, word.

Young wanted to know what he needs to do to get some love around here. Jarrett said he doesn't have time to deal with your type. Um, but, you, were, um, just putting us over, Jeff. Jarrett said Holliday and his tag partner are in this little tag tournament thing happening on the show, but his partner had some travel issues. "Who's Holliday?" Young asked. Jarrett basically said he doesn't have the slightest idea, so you figure it out. Most bizarre interview segment ever.

Up tonight: "Outlaw" Jethro Holliday a/k/a Trevor Murdoch(k) debuts with Young against No Limit. Some other stuff was announced too quickly for it to sink in with anyone.

Mick Foley Cam: They cut to the handheld video of Mick Foley walking in the parking garage after Lockdown with bandages covering his head. Foley tossed some crap out of his rental car before being shown arriving home at 3:44 a.m. Foley, with title belt slung over his shoulder, then waved good-bye to his kid as he loaded the bus. Bus driver didn't seem to care who he was, why he was wearing a title, or why his head was bandaged. Foley then talked quietly to himself about trying to be a normal dad, but obviously thinking in the back-of-his-mind that perhaps he never could be that normal dad.

Backstage: Lauren was in the Mafia locker room with Booker & Sharmell on one side and Nash & Jenna Morasca on the other side. Nash basically said Jenna's been keeping him warmed up while he recovers. A catfight nearly broke out as Booker and Nash tried to assess blame. They slapped hands before saying they would talk later. Sharmell got in Booker's ear to handle this or she will.

[Commercial Break]

Foley cam: Back to the Foley cam. They went to Monday where Foley walked into a restaurant and proclaimed himself the first World champion to walk into said restaurant. "Mickey Rourke" behind the counter talked up Foley before Foley took the phone from a lady and talked to the person on the other line about being the first world champion to talk to him. The lady didn't seem too pleased that Foley interrupted her conversation on the phone.

Backstage: Borash was with Jarrett for another word on Steiner. Zzz. A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels then interrupted to give Jarrett some props for backing them at Lockdown. They have his back tonight. They hugged it up. Jarrett said that's why he does the things he does. Borash then became excited with a Knockouts match about to occur.

2 -- SOJOURNER BOLT vs. TAYLOR WILDE -- #1 Contender match to Knockouts Title -- Ladder match

Ladder was already in the ring, so both Knockouts ran right up the ladder trying to get a contract hanging from the ceiling. Sojo looks pretty ridiculous sporting that fake blonde wig to match her outfit. Apparently that's the intent. A minute in, Sojo pulled out a gimmick unbeknownst to Wilde and the ref, then she blasted Taylor with it before reaching up top for the contract. Taylor sold being KO'ed as Sojo celebrated.

WINNER: Sojo Bolt in 3:00. Rudimentary ladder match, but I thought it was executed fairly well for the limited amount of time they were given. The ol' brass knucks finish was fine to give Wilde an "out" for her loss. (*)

Backstage: Beautiful People proudly walked down the hallway in anticipation of their Knockouts Title celebration.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Borash brought back Jeff Jarrett to discuss Steiner, but ref Slick Johnson interrupted. One of his daughters called. She just wants Jeff to call back. Something about school or something, Slick said, obviously not the best messenger in the world.

Impact Zone: Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky were already in the ring for the Beautiful People to celebrate Angelina Love's Knockouts Title victory. Out came Angelina with the title belt over her shoulder. She then brought out some male models who barely passed as independent wrestlers to serenade her. Awesome Kong didn't appreciate the moment, so she did a run-in to chase away the BPs before giving one of the poor excuses for a male model the Awesomebomb. Angelina sold fear of Kong's wrath.

[Commercial Break]

Foley Cam: Foley went into a therapy session to work on his back. Foley rested his head on his TNA World Title belt while he received treatment. Foley tried to pay the blind woman with a $1 bill, but she recognized Foley's cheapness. He then pulled out a $100 bill and she accepted.

Impact Zone: Kevin Nash came to the ring with Jenna Morasca while whispering instructions to her about what was going on. A.J. Styles came out next to defend the Legends Title.

3 -- Legends champion A.J. STYLES vs. KEVIN NASH (w/Jenna Morasca)

Opening bell never sounded, so this was apparently an unsanctioned deal. Nash blasted Styles with knees to the gut to drive him to the corner before pushing his boot into Styles's throat. Nash sporting the heavy elbow brace. Looked like Barry Bonds's elbow armor on steroids. Whoops... Styles went to the knees for his attack, then Nash knocked Styles to the outside and rammed him into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Nash with a sidewalk slam for a two count. More talk of Jarrett vs. Steiner in this match. West not thrilled about having Foley on commentary for the main event. Styles blocked a chokeslam with the Pele soccer kick, but Nash kicked out before three. Styles wanted a springboard flip splash, but Nash kinda blocked.

Sharmell then stormed ringside as Booker followed behind him. Sharmell ran interference on the ref, then Booker went through the motions of smashing Styles with the axe kick. Ref was looking right at the deal, but he just kind of let it go. Nash wanted the Jackknife on Styles, but ref decided five seconds later to DQ Nash. Takes referee incompetence to a new level by needing a five second delay to decide to enforce rules. But, what are the rules in a Legends title match? Is the belt under the jurisdiction of TNA's non-existent rulebook?

WINNER: Styles via DQ in 5:00 to retain the Legends Title. This whole match made Styles look like a chump. Nash with the extended beat down, TNA taking referee incompetence to a newer level, and Styles on the verge of loss until ref snapped out of his trance. There's just not even an attempt to establish the Frontline, Originals, whatever lame name is assigned to them. Just a bad match all around. (1/4*)

[Commercial Break]

During the break: Angle had to separate Nash & Jenna from Booker & Jenna from tearing each other apart. Nash just had this look on his face about being too old for these silly storylines. Angle told them to take it out on the enemy.

Impact Zone: Time for another tag tournament match. No Limit came out with Kiyoshi and Sheik Abdul Bashir. No Limit just kind of did some hand-waving toward the cameraman in an attempt to intimidate him. Cue up some generic country music and "The Outlaw" Jethro Holliday came out, followed by Eric Young.

4 -- ERIC YOUNG & JETHRO HOLLIDAY vs. NO LIMIT (w/Bashir and Kiyoshi)

Don West's assignment was to hype up No Limit for this match. So, he let us know: "This is a team we've seen so many times.....um...and they're just so cohesive together." Thanks, Don. Seemed like both teams were trying to figure out who was working as the heel team. Crowd wasn't sure either. Tenay gave us the next ask.com question tonight on where Kurt Angle won his Olympic gold medal. Meanwhile, more talk of the Main Event Mafia. Young took a hot tag and No Limit ran into a series of clotheslines. Kiyoshi ran interference, then Bashir tried to run interference, but No Limit messed up the plan. Young then scored a crucifix pin for the win.

WINNERS: Holliday & Young in 4:00. Just a bad tag match. You've just got a bunch of guys thrown out there doing their thing with no rhyme or reason. The misfit group of "international terrors" were turned into typical bumbling fools. They'll never be able to draw heat as a unit, especially when the No Limit tag team creates zero fear in the eyes of opponents and the audience. (1/2*)

Backstage: Lauren caught up with A.J. Styles in the parking garage to basically suggest he sucked in his match earlier against Nash. Styles said that's not the first time someone thought he had him beat. Styles spotted someone off in the distance. Samoa Joe had a black towel over his head as he was talking to someone in an SUV, which sped away. Styles wanted to know what's up with Joe. Why won't you call me back? Return my texts? Send me a tweet? What's wrong, man?! Joe said there are no friends, just his Nation of Violence.

[Commercial Break]

Dr. Stevie's office: Lauren was on the couch with Abyss yelling at Stevie Richards for being a con. Richards said he can hang a bunch of diplomas on the wall, but it doesn't mean anything for his intelligence. Lauren accused Richards of mis-leading Abyss, then Stevie walked to the couch for his face to be on camera. Richards said he's a recovering addict too. He apologized to Abyss for what he did on Sunday at Lockdown. Elevator music was playing in the background the whole time. Richards said he needs to help Abyss transfer his aggression elsewhere. Lauren calmed down and agreed to help Abyss, who was freaking out on the couch. Richards closed by starting his suggestion on what to do...

Ringside: Tenay and West were shown plugging what's left on the show. "My revealing interview with Daniels is yet to come." Just sounded so silly for Tenay just to say Christopher Daniels's last name. Don West plugged some upcoming house shows.

Sit-down interview: Tenay sat down with Christopher Daniels to talk. Very fast pace. Daniels said he joined TNA in the beginning to be an alternative to what was happening in the other wrestling industry. Tenay said he puts Daniels in the same category of Bret Hart, Dean Malenko, and Eddie Guerrero, but why hasn't the public thought of him like that? Daniels said he was fired 16 months ago, then he blamed writers, match-makers, etc. Daniels said he was sitting down watching the Mafia claiming to be bigger than the business and he was so pissed, but his wife said that's how he's been acting. Daniels said he fixed his attitude and now he's ready to take on the Mafia.

Backstage: Mick Foley was shown walking down the hallway in anticipation of doing color commentary on the main event.

[Commercial Break]

Foley Cam: Back to Wednesday night at Long Island airport for Foley to sign an autograph or two. Foley started to run away from someone who chased him down in the terminal. Foley tried to cross the metal detector, but it went off with him still carrying the TNA Title belt over his shoulder. "Could it be this?" Foley joked with the TSA person. Tax dollars at work letting crazed individuals board planes.

Impact Zone: Mick Foley came out for the CJSA main event. He joined Tenay and West on commentary before asking for a close-up of the 25 stitches in his head. Foley's audio cut out before Scott Steiner came out and walked around the various weapons and props in the aisleway. Looked like a bunch of left-overs from a fire sale at Universal Studios. Jeff Jarrett then came out with guitar in hand. He was very puzzled by the collection of props on the entranceramp. So, he knocked them all down in disgust. Yay, I feel ya, Jeff.

5 -- JEFF JARRETT vs. SCOTT STEINER -- Cactus Jack Smack Attack

Jarrett ducked a clothesline and hit Steiner with an atomic drop. "25 big ones in the eye," Foley said for the eighth time on the show. They questioned whether Jarrett really pulled his hammy at the PPV. Jarrett pulled out a blank sign and smashed it over Steiner's head before revealing that it said "Dead End." Foley questioned Jarrett taking out his 20 year friend as Tenay name-dropped WCW once again. "Ah, the glory days," Zbyszko might say right now. Steiner then pulled out a pogo stick and popped Jarrett after dancing on the stick. Steiner whacked Jarrett with Santa Claus, prompting Foley to sarcastically give it up for the Founder. Jarrett took a suplex on a can before they cut to break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Jarrett rammed Steiner into a chair wedged inside the ropes. Foley tried to shout out to Jeff to take Steiner into the barbed wire. "Think of the ratings!" he said. Foley and West exchanged rips on Jarrett before Foley dropped "25 big ones in the eye" a 90th time for the heck of it. Foley and West then ripped Jarrett for his "hamstring injury." Is it the left or the right? Foley said Jarrett shouldn't put him in matches so he won't put him in matches that could shorten his life-span. Should have said...or matches that are asinine and completely stupid. Jarrett low-blowed Steiner and wanted the Stroke for the win, but Steiner kicked out. Tenay defended the hamstring injury limiting Jarrett, then Steiner suplexed Jarrett off the top. "Hahallooowwwwwoooow!" West said as Steiner took Jarrett to the mat. Steiner put Jarrett in the Recliner, but Jarrett powered out for the Electric Chair. Jarrett then grabbed the guitar and Foley groaned. West groaned at the repeat effort. Jarrett nailed the guitar and everyone but Tenay groaned. Jarrett with the Stroke for the win.

WINNER: Jarrett in 10:00 brutal minutes. Foley and West were entertaining on commentary ripping Jarrett. That's about the only redeeming quality to this match, which was supposed to be presented as a joke via Mick Foley's warped mind, but was the epitome of a terrible gimmick match. But, hey, it's TNA. "We'll try anything, as long as it's not boring."

Post-match: Angle stormed the ring and grappled Jarrett from behind for the Angle Slam. Angle then slapped on the anklelock. Tenay said it's the injured leg, but Foley wasn't so sure. Steiner then put Jarrett in the Recliner for an awkward-looking three-way. Foley then made the save with a love-tap chair shot on Angle. Steiner bailed, then Foley's music hit. Foley played to the crowd, then he waited for Jeff to recover to his feet and he blasted him with a chair shot. Without letting anything sink in, Tenay shouted we're going to get an explanation next.

[Commercial Break]

Impact Zone: Jarrett was in the ring with Daniels and Styles, who had his back too late. Jarrett shouted that Foley made some bad, bad decisions. He knew six months ago that Foley was a whack job, but this isn't business anymore. "This is personal!" Groan. Why does everything in TNA have to be "personal?" If it's personal, then just shoot the other guy and be done with him. It's no longer about winning a wrestling match to prove you're the better man. Anyways, Jarrett looked to Dirk the Cameraman and said next time he sees Foley, he's going to shove a pink slip up his rear.

Cue up Bobby Lashley's theme music. Some pistons roared on screen, perhaps hinting Lashley will make his TNA in-ring debut at Slammiversary in Detroit where he was the headliner for WrestleMania 23 in Detroit, then Lashley showed up on the Impact Zone stage. Jarrett buried his head deeper in his hands while Angle and Steiner smiled it up for Lashley. Poor Jeff. So sad. End his and our misery...

We welcome your 0-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.

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