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PARKS' TNA IMPACT REPORT 6/4: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including Samoa Joe vs. Kevin Nash in Lethal Lockdown

Jun 4, 2009 - 10:00:01 PM
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by Greg Parks, PWTorch.com Contributor

June 4, 2009
Orlando, Fla.
Aired on SpikeTV



-TNA Open.

-Highlights aired of Foley’s decree last week about defending the belt as well as Eric Young turning on Jeff Jarrett and AJ Styles beating Daniels, only for Daniels to be attacked by Shane Douglas. The voice-over dude also plugged Samoa Joe vs. Kevin Nash in a Lethal Lockdown match. “You can go back home.”

-Lauren caught up to Shane Douglas backstage, in the same outfit as a week ago. Shane introduced himself to her and said he plans to make his mark on TNA for a long time to come.

-Impact Open.

-Fireworks opened the show, then Mike Tenay again plugged the Joe vs. Nash match.

1- KIYOSHI & SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. DANIELS & SUICIDE

It’s worth noting (maybe) that an ad for Stacker 2- Six Hour Power is in the middle of the canvas in the ring. Daniels with a suplex on Bashir, then a legdrop off the top by Suicide. Bashir took over and choked Suicide in the corner, with an assist from Kiyoshi. Tenay plugged the appearance at Slammiversary of Detroit Tigers OF Curtis Granderson, who will be in charge of watching the title belt during the King of the Mountain match. The hot tag was made to Daniels, who was able to fight off Bashir and Kiyoshi. Then some double-teaming by the faces, with a Suicde Samoan drop front-roll and a springboard moonsault from Daniels for two. His pin was interrupted by Bashir. Suicide slingshotted himself onto Bashir on the outside, who held his leg in pain as Slick Johnson checked on him. Then, the Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequences attacked Suicide. As Daniels was going to finish off Kiyoshi, Shane Douglas came out and nailed Daniels in the head with a chain. Bashir threw the ref in the ring and the heels got the pin.

WINNERS: Bashir & Kiyoshi, at 5:17. Way too much going on at the end there.

The heels celebrated with the British Invasion after the match.

[Commercial Break]

-Douglas was still in the ring, with a mic and chair. Before he spoke, they showed what just happened with Douglas and Daniels. Douglas told Daniels that what he’s doing is strictly business. He said he’s a huge fan of TNA wrestling and he watches the show religiously. Who doesn’t? Douglas said he didn’t like Daniels getting a second chance from Jeff Jarrett, because he never got one. Douglas said it was politics and “someone upstairs” doesn’t like him. Douglas told whoever is making the decisions around here (he doesn’t even know and he watches the show religiously!) that he wants a second chance and he’s going to make life miserable for Daniels and TNA until he gets it.

-Jeremy Borash was backstage with Mick Foley, who was wearing a Buffalo Bisons minor league baseball jersey. Foley said the belt is a major league deal and said the Super Bowl only happens once a year, and he equated defending the title to the Super Bowl- you wouldn’t have the Super Bowl multiple times a year. Kip James walked in and begged for some work, talking about how he has a family to support. I can’t wait for him to bring his family on next episode and for Foley to tell his daughter, “tell your daddy he’s still fired.” Foley instead said he’ll see what he can do. Kevin Nash and Jenna Morasca walked in as James left and Nash asked Foley what he was smoking for making a Lethal Lockdown match. Foley said he was mad at Dixie and mad at Spike TV and he said Nash just got caught in the cross-hairs. Foley told him to think of the ratings, but Nash said he only does it for the money. Foley then offered three times the payoff and Nash wanted four times. They settled on an agreement and JB asked why he said things are tight and he couldn’t get Kip work, yet he could give money to Nash. Foley responded that “things are tight....for Kip James.” Then he and JB shared a laugh.

[Commercial Break]

-Lethal Consequences and the Motor City Machine Guns were backstage with Lauren. Apparently, they’re teaming up to take on Beer Money tonight. Chris Sabin made fun of Lethal Consequences and said they’re teaming up to solve the Suicide mystery. He said it’ll happen at Slammiversary when they take out Suicide. Consequences Creed told Suicide that he has to man-up coming into the X Division and that they’re going to un-mask him. Then he said Beer Money better look out tonight.

2- CONSEQUENCES CREED & CHRIS SABIN vs. BEER MONEY, INC.

Sabin got double-teamed by Beer Money with a suplex as Tenay accused Don West of watching to much “Lie to Me” given his penchant for conspiracy theories and no one telling the truth. Creed tagged in and got tagged by James Storm. They traded right hands but Sabin pulled Storm down by the hair when he went off the ropes. Sabin spit at Robert Roode as West said Sabin reminds him of himself 20 years ago. Now that’s funny. Creed used his athleticism to take down Storm and the odd-couple pairing continued on offense with quick tags. They both went for a springboard move at the same time though, and hit each other in mid-air. That allowed Roode to tag in and take out Sabin, then hit a spinebuster on Creed for two. Storm dispatched of Sabin as Creed and Roode collided in the ring. The British Invasion came out and wanted to get involved, but Team 3D fended them off. Sabin accidentally kicked Creed in the corner, then Storm hit a nice Superkick on Sabin. DWI finished it on Creed.

WINNERS: Beer Money, Inc, at 5:12. Good enough match that raised the question whether MCMG and Lethal Consequences will be able to work together at Slammiversary..

-The Beautiful People were with Lauren in the bowels in the building, searching for someone that was bleeped out.

[Commercial Break]

-The Beautiful People were beating down Tara backstage (the former Victoria). She made the comeback, but Anglelina Love ran off before she could get her hands on her. Tara takes on Love for the Knockouts Title at Slammiversary.

-Daffney vs. Taylor Wilde, another Main Event Mafia interview and a King of the Mountain Qualifier are all still to come tonight.

-Don West did his live-events hard-sell.

-Up next, the 1,324th sit-down interview with the Mafia.

[Commercial Break]

-Lauren interviewed Daffney backstage and tried to keep things professional. Lauren said Daffney’s issue with Taylor Wilde shouldn’t have come to this point. She said that crazy people don’t follow logic. She generally acted crazy and Daffney said Taylor wasn’t there for her when she needed her, then questioned who the crazy one really is. She seemed happy about getting to hurt Taylor. It seems Daffney is communicating with the same people as Damian Demento.

-Tenay talked to the Main Event Mafia earlier today. He wanted their reaction to the Mafia hit-list Samoa Joe introduced. Nash spoke first, saying Joe has to get through him before he continues his hit-list and that’s not going to be easy. He said any man can die at any time and that he’ll walk out of the Impact Zone tonight and Slammiversary. Booker called Joe’s faction the “One Warrior Independent Nation.” Oh, so close. Steiner yelled about Joe being fat and said he’d make him bleed. Angle did more yelling and said he’d beat up Joe until his mother wouldn’t be able to recognize him. Sting, the calming influence, said that’s not going to happen. He said they’ll take care of Joe on their clock, done his way.

-Taylor Wilde was walking backstage. She faces Daffney next.

[Commercial Break]

-A video package reviewed the Daffney vs. Taylor Wilde feud.

3- DAFFNEY vs. TAYLOR WILDE

Tenay said when she was Governor Palin, she transferred into her alter-ego of Daffney. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? West got another zinger in on Tenay- West: “Taylor is the girl you bring home to your mother....then leave her there while you sneak out with Daffney!” Tenay: “So where does that leave Awesome Kong?” West: “Hopefully at your house.”

Not long after the match started, Dr. Stevie and Raven came to ringside. Daffney looked like she scratched Taylor’s back quite hard, then hit a flying elbow on her in the corner. Taylor went to the top and hit a dropkick after Daffney missed an elbowdrop. Roll-through into a pin for two. Taylor went to the second rope but Dr. Stevie provided a distraction that allowed Daffney to taker her out and hit her finisher, the Lobotomy (a spinning Perfect-Plex) for the three.

WINNER: Daffney, at 2:09.

Daffney continued the beat-down at the behest of Stevie and Raven until Lauren made the save and covered Lauren in the ring to prevent further damage. Raven got on the mic and talked about fans waiting for his re-uniting with Stevie. He said he’s come to help take out Abyss for not following doctor’s orders.

-Jeff Jarrett was on his cell phone backstage...he’s next on Impact.

[Commercial Break]

-A video package aired on the history of the friendship between Jeff Jarrett and Eric Young.

-Jeff Jarrett made his entrance into the Impact Zone. He didn’t mince words, simply introduced his friend Eric Young. Young walked out with a sour expression on his face. Jarrett said he and Young go way back and he knows he’s had a short fuse lately, but it comes with the territory. Double J reminded Young of his opportunity last week and said that Eric gave it his best shot, but HE won the match. He cheered Young up by saying on another night, he could’ve beat Jarrett. Jeff said he was the better man on that given night. Jarrett said they can chalk last week up to immaturity and get on with their friendship, or they can take this as far as Young wants to go with it.

Young wasn’t happy that Jarrett was trying to set him straight and set him up to apologize. Young told the story about how his father wasn’t there for him. Another daddy issue? He told Jarrett that Jeff was his father-figure when he got to TNA. Young then talked up all of Jeff’s credentials in the ring and in business, starting up TNA himself. This reminds me of how every opponent of Triple H’s has to suck up to him during a feud. The crowd seemed behind Young until he called them maggots, saying he gave them a choice by starting TNA. Young also took a shot at Jarrett’s home life, saying he had the American Dream with a beautiful wife, kids and a house on the lake. Young said they became friends because their childhood wasn’t so different, as Jeff’s dad was “wrestling-first” and didn’t have time for his son and Jeff hated him for it. That’s Young’s story of how it went down, anyway. Young said they made a vow, promising that they’d be better than their fathers. Forty years later, he said, tragedy struck. Young said Jarrett is losing that game, becoming just like his father Jerry. Crowd started chanting “fight, fight.” Young said everything in TNA revolves around Jeff first, and everybody else second. Eric said that’s not why he’s out there though. Young said he feels not for the guys in the back, but for Jeff’s three little girls who have to settle for second place. Jarrett then slapped Young. The two men brawled in the ring as referees broke things up. Jarrett nailed Earl Hebner to get at Young and TNA security finally intervened. Great promo by Young there, even being saddled with so-so material.

-Foley and JB were watching backstage when Foley said Jarrett went over the line by attacking an official. He said it was only a matter of time before he needed security. Good God, Rocco and Sal are back. Stupendous.

[Commercial Break]

-A video profiling Jesse Neal’s Naval career and his wrestling training aired.

-Neal, with a bizarre new haircut, was backstage with Rhino and Lauren. Lauren asked him about facing Matt Morgan next. He just talked about his first match and the training that went along with it. He wasn’t terribly sure-footed on the mic, but showed promise.

4- MATT MORGAN vs. JESSE NEAL

They showed Jesse’s parents in the crowd. He wrestled in a long-sleeved tee and a pair of gym shorts. He got a roll-up on Morgan out of the corner, but Morgan landed a back suplex. Morgan hit a series of back-elbows on Neal in the corner, then bowed for the crowd. Sidewalk slam, then he threw Neal face-first into the top turnbuckle as Rhino coached him from ringside. Standing dropkick from the Blueprint. Cover got two, as Morgan picked him up by the hair. Morgan trash talked Rhino, allowing Neal to get a few punches in. He made the mistake of whipping Morgan off the ropes, and Morgan retaliated with the Carbon Footprint for the win.

WINNER: Morgan, at 2:46. Decent mid-card angle they’ve got going on here. Although I don’t get Rhino looking so pissed at ringside.....it was his first match and it was against Matt Morgan, cut the kid some slack.

-Mick Foley and his new personal security were walking backstage, on their way to the ring.

[Commercial Break]

-Leroy’s Fitness Club in Bucksnort, Tennessee was the place where we saw ODB training Cody Deaner to wrestle. First up was training to add muscle mass by lifting various farm items and beating up a punching bag full of hay. Not a big fan of having another training video after just finishing up the Jesse Neal Story (coming to the Lifetime Network at some point, no doubt). It was different enough though to make it OK.

-Foley and his security team came out. Foley first spoke of Joe’s Nation of Violence taking on Steiner and Booker next week, then made another K.O.T.M qualifier between Sting and Kurt Angle. He then said he needed security, which is why he brought back Rocco and Sally Boy. Mick said that, for the first time in his life, he’s truly scared, because Jeff Jarrett is truly out of control and has made him look like a liar. He said a few weeks ago, he assured Earl Hebner that he has a job in TNA for a long time. But because of Jarrett, Hebner may never referee a match again. Mick used Jeff’s words against him, saying “every action has a reaction” and he’s not going to take Jarrett’s assault on Hebner lightly. He said his reaction, next week, would be hardcore.

-Borash was standing backstage with Sting. He asked Stinger’s opinion on the match made next week by Foley moments ago. Sting said things are different now that he’s in charge and they’re stronger than they’ve been in a long time. And nothing is going to change that. He said he and Angle are both professionals. Then Matt Morgan interrupted and bragged to Sting about what he did in the match against Neal, trying to talk up his credentials to earn a spot in the Mafia. Sting talked about Neal representing the country and that it’s about respect and Morgan doesn’t have any. He told Morgan when he finds respect to come back and talk to him. Morgan went off and said they have million-dollar egos and they won’t let him in because he’s not a former champion. Morgan again promised he’d get in the Mafia. He got talking a bit too fast again at times there.

[Commercial Break]

-Tenay announced that Foley had added First Blood rules to Joe’s matches next week.

-JB was with Steiner and Booker in the Mafia locker room. He said it will start with Joe vs. Steiner and if Joe wins, he goes against Booker. If Steiner makes Joe bleed, it’s over. Booker said this isn’t a movie, this is real life and they’re not getting busted open. Steiner said they’re not going to just stand there like couple of punching bags. Steiner said he grew up and survived living in Detroit so he knows violence. He said when they’re done, they’re going to stick an apple in Joe’s mouth like the fat pig he is. Why are they allowing/writing him to say this stuff?

Sharmell walked in and complained to Booker about Jenna being in the makeup chair all day. Booker walked away to apparently take care of it.

5- KEVIN NASH vs. SAMOA JOE- KING OF THE MOUNTAIN QUALIFYING MATCH UNDER LETHAL LOCKDOWN RULES

Before coming out, Joe was shown talking to someone just beyond the exit door. Then he started walking toward the rampway.

The two began the match by battling with Kendo Sticks, each taking shots at the other. Nash got Joe in the corner and choked him with the stick. Joe shot back with right hands and they went to break about 1:30 into the match.

[Commercial Break]

Joe hit Nash with a road sign upon return from break. He peppered Nash with about a dozen rights in the corner. Nash’s back was covered with welts thanks to the kendo stick. Nash got a shot in and tried to climb the cage. Oh, he was going for a trash can lid. He cracked Joe in the head with it, and again. After a third shot, he got two on a pin. Joe got back to his feet first and gouged the eyes of Nash. Nash came back with another lid shot. He whiffed with the stick and Joe was able to hit a kick to the face, then a senton on the big man. Joe grabbed a hockey stick and wailed Nash in the back with it. Lateral press, and he picked up the victory.

WINNER: Joe, at 9:01. A decent garbage brawl. Better than I expected.

Joe got on the mic after the match and said, “It is done."

Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also hear him every-other-week in the post-Raw audio show in the Torch VIP audio section and read his all-new blog in the VIP forum. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.


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