By James Caldwell, Torch assistant editor

WWE Superstars TV Report
July 9, 2009 - Week 13
Taped the Week of June 29

Superstars officially goes Sunday Night Heat tonight with a line-up of mid-carders. R-Truth opened the show rapping to the ring asking the crowd what's up. Ricky Ortiz then came to the ring sporting his rally towel. Ringside, Jim Ross and Todd Grisham were shown on camera to introduce the Smackdown brand's contribution to the show. Ortiz took the ring and said the truth is ... everyone needs to rally up their personal lives. He said what's up is his hand at the end of the match. Truth said all right, bring it. Ring the bell.

1 -- RICKY ORTIZ vs. R-TRUTH

Grisham asked Ross if he has his personal life rallied up. Ross responded his love for BBQ is what's up. Back-and-forth to start as Ross talked about Ortiz being over-bearing, especially when he's trying to enjoy catering before shows. Ortiz suddenly chucked Truth through the ropes to the floor. Lots of boos against Ortiz were piped into the broadcast going to break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Ortiz was working over the lower back with a half-Boston crab. He continued to work over the back with a variety of holds before stomping on his head. Grisham equated it to stomping out a cigarette on the ground. Ortiz cut off Truth's teased comeback with some nice power offense, then he cut off Truth again with a swinging sidewalk slam. Impressive. Ortiz tried the "Big O" splash, but Truth moved and started another comeback with a powerslam. Truth missed badly with an axe kick, but he followed with the spinning fist punch off the ropes. Apparently that "Lie Detector" move is one of his finishing moves now rather than a transition move. Truth with the pin and the win. Post-match: Killings smiled

WINNER: Killings in 14:00. Probably the best effort I've seen from Ortiz in the ring. He had some very sequences cutting off Truth's offensive comebacks. Truth with a good win. Ortiz looked good too. Everyone wins. (*3/4)

[Q2]

Backstage: Vince McMahon was on the phone talking to someone about how great the triple threat WWE Title match is. McMahon on Superstars. That's a shock. Hornswoggle then barged in trying to hide from Chavo Guerrero, who claimed Horny bit him randomly in the hallway. Hornswoggle was honest and admitted to doing it. McMahon booked the match, Chavo talked himself up, then McMahon said Chavo will have to wrestle on his knees. They piped in the crowd cheering. McMahon asked for them to shake hands. Chavo got down on his knees and shook before Hornswoggle twisted his wrist. Chavo sold pain. Cut to break.

Smackdown plug: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho IV on Friday night for the IC Title.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Zack Ryder came to the ring for the next match in a re-match against Tyler Reks from last week's show won by Ryder. T-Reks came out to his "Ride the Wave, Cowabunga" theme song.

2 -- ZACK RYDER vs. TYLER REKS

East Coast beaches vs. West Coast beaches started with Ryder ducking underneath the ropes in a classic heel move to slow down T-Reks. Some fans cat-called "Woo woo woo" as Ryder locked up and Mathews called him a tool. Striker offered a No Comment before offering the Urban Dictionary definition of a tool, only to be cut off by Mathews. They cut to break after each man had control.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Reks was doing some talking while locked inside a chinlock. Reks tried to break free, but Ryder kicked him in the gut to regain control. Ryder went back to working the neck region with a mat-based neck-bending hold. Reks broke free after a lengthy beat down, then he countered a pin attempt into a sunset flip pin for a two count. Ryder then flung Reks stomach-first across the top rope to capitalize on the work throughout the match. Ryder followed right up with the Zack Attack finish for the pin and the win. Great post-match camera shot of an evil look on his face.

WINNER: Ryder in 12:00. Slow spots mid-way, but an overall good performance from both men. Reks seems to have good upside if they can add some more info to his character beyond he's a surfer dude. Ryder will easily be a top player on the ECW brand by the end of the year. He's on the way to being a star for this company. (**)

Main event plug: Yes, Chavo vs. Hornswoggle in the TV main event. The graphic included Chavo being shrunk on screen to show he's wrestling on his knees tonight.

[Commercial Break]

Cena-Cubs promo: Considering this show airs on WGN America, they aired a video package on John Cena appearing at a Cubs game a few weeks ago. Focused on Cena interacting with Alfonso Soriano at the J-Day PPV.

[Q4]

Raw announcers: Michael Cole and The Mayor sent us to the Raw Rebound again. Twice in two hours. Cole and Lawler said Randy Orton's WWE Title reign is in "serious jeopardy" facing Triple H and John Cena in the same match.

In-ring: Chavo Guerrero came to the ring for the main event match. It's up next.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Hornswoggle came out and The Mayor was very excited to see Chavo brought down to Hornswoggle's level by having to wrestle on his knees.

3 -- CHAVO GUERRERO vs. HORNSWOGGLE

Chavo smiled and waddled over to Horny on his knees. Lawler said the ref should be on his knees too. Hornswoggle teased a test of strength, but Chavo pushed Horny across the ring. Chavo tried to cheat and stand up, but the ref reprimanded him. Horny knocked Chavo down to his knee anyways. Hornswoggle kicked Chavo to the outside and Chavo ran around on the floor upset with the embarrassing situation. Ref yelled at Chavo, "Get on your knees!" Cue up Jack Swagger's theme, please. Chavo crawled into the ring on his knees, then he blasted Hornswoggle with a standing...er...kneeling clothesline. Chavo with a scoop slam, then he tried to remove the middle turnbuckle pad. Ref re-tied the pad, allowing Chavo to stand up and kick Hornswoggle a few times. Chavo re-positioned himself on his knees to work over Hornswoggle some more. He then busted out the Three Amigos suplexes from his knees. He tried the third, but Hornswoggle blocked and shocked everyone with a textbook suplex. Hornswoggle's top-notch wrestling skills not part of the WWE resume. Horny then climbed up top, but Chavo jumped to his feet and cut Hornswoggle. Chavo ignored the ref's commands to stay on his knees and he paid for it when Horny blocked a superplex by biting Chavo's hand. He then landed the Tadpole splash. Horny with the pin and the win as Chavo tried to wiggle out of the pin. Chavo sold anger post-match as Hornswoggle gloated about the victory.

WINNER: Hornswoggle in 5:00. Ridiculous match, but had a certain guilty pleasure entertainment value. Hornswoggle busting out the solid wrestling holds was fun, as he was a solid independent wrestler before becoming a sideshow act in WWE. Match was just shut-off-your-brain humor. (n/a)

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